Dear School Street,

When I had to move from my first solo apartment just 9 months after moving in, I was frustrated. I just moved 1200 miles away from my family to start a new life on my own. I was settling into a new state, job, and chapter, just for it to be ripped out from under me unexpectedly.

Unbeknownst to me, you were about to change my life.

Shortly after moving in, I met this friendly, older gentleman who invited me into his home while I contemplated if he was secretly a murderer about to take me as his next victim. I trusted my gut when it led me to believe he was just an old-school, stand-up guy.

Luckily, my gut was right.

We’d grow close over the next few months. He’d meet my boyfriend, then steal him away for grocery store trips. We’d watch cross-country train videos on tv while he told me stories of his days on the road as a celebrity bus driver.

We became family in every sense of the word.

I’ll never forget the first time my neighbor needed me to take him to the hospital.

Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be the last time.

After over a year of multiple ER visits, my neighbor’s oldest daughter made the decision to move in and help take care of him. It was bittersweet being able to put a face to the woman I had spoken to on the phone so many times.

It only took a few months for us to grow as close as I did with her father. He’d always told us we were sisters, but now we embodied that relationship and then some.

We were one big happy family, the five of us. My neighbor, his daughter, her husband, myself, and my boyfriend turned fiancé. You’d never know we’d only met a few years ago. We spent so many days, holidays, celebrations, and life milestones together.

Then, a couple months before my fiancé and I were set to get married, things took a turn.

Watching TV in my bed one morning, I received a call from my neighbor’s daughter. I answered it cheerily only to find her distraught on the other end. All I heard was “I think my son might be dead”. I was out the door on my way.

Her son, days after his 35th birthday, called her that morning expressing his discomfort and struggle to breathe. While on that call, he would collapse and soon take his last breath.

I was the first to arrive at his apartment, where I found his mother outside breaking down, still unsure of what was going on. It’d be hours before we received confirmation that he was gone.

A week later, I awoke around 5am one morning to banging on my door. I opened it to find my neighbor’s daughter franticly telling me her father had collapsed. This wasn’t new in this home of ours, but when I crossed the threshold into his apartment, I felt in my heart this time was different.

I rounded the corner to her husband doing CPR on her dad. Once he saw me, he directed me to take over. Within minutes of opening my eyes, I found myself on the kitchen floor doing CPR as he lay there without a pulse. Paramedics arrived and brought him to the hospital with my fiancé and me behind them. When we arrived, they informed us he passed.

You have brought me so many memories, good and bad. Situations I never imagined I would find myself in. Events that will remain engrained in my heart forever.

You also gave me an entire family. A second father, another sister, aunts and cousins that I never would’ve had without you. We were able to make it through these tough times, because we were together.

YOU brought us together.

I will forever believe that all this happened for a reason. I was meant to move into your apartment so I could meet my neighbor, so we could become family, so I could later help his daughter through the losses of not only her oldest son but also her father. So that I could be her guardian angel here on earth.

Now that my husband and I have purchased our own home, we are leaving you behind. While I’m excited to see what the future holds for us, my heart breaks to see you go. To say goodbye. To accept that you will no longer be my home.

School Street Apartment – you have changed my life in ways I couldn’t have imagined. You’ve been here through it all. Held our sorrows, celebrated our joys, caressed our laughs, and embraced the highs and lows of life within your walls.

For that, I am eternally grateful.

Snow on the ground
Chill breeze in the air
Footprints in the mud
Birds flying gracefully in the sky
I sit on the bench overlooking the lake
The bench that sits alone
Surrounded by metal barriers
Near the clear waters
Looking into the distance
I calmly relax the body
The body that
Walked around the lake
The body that
Cautiously walked on icy paths
The body that
Inhaled the fresh crisp air
The body that
Needed the rest
Rest from feeling
Rest from carrying the weight
Of the world
Rest from thinking
I sit on the bench that
Wrapped its arms
Around my body
The bench that
Accepted every part of me
Every part of my story
Every part of my healing
The bench that
Let me know
I was safe
Safe from the world
Safe from the hurt
Safe from all
That was holding me down
Snow on the ground
Chill breeze in the air
Footprints in the mud
Birds flying gracefully in the sky
I sit on the bench
And cry
Cry for the little girl
Who needed love
Who needed assurance
Who needed guidance
Cry for the woman who
Is finally free
Free from the pain
Free from the enemy
I get up from the bench
And walk away lighter
Than when I sat
I walk away
With my head held higher
I walk away
With love
With dignity
With respect
With purpose
The bench that sits alone
Will forever feel like home.
– Lynx Lake. Prescott, Arizona.
The bench that changed my life. Put my healing journey in perspective.

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