Being in love with love
It first starts within
Being in love with self
Then with strangers, family and friends
Learning to love yourself even
When in doubt
Learning to stand alone while figuring everything out
Healing from traumas that others may not know
Stepping into your purpose
Doing your part, so that more love in the world can grow
Being in love with love is spreading peace, happiness and positivity
Being in love with love is loving others outside of me
Being in love with love is loving all……unconditionally
This is the biggest lesson I’ve learned and wanted to share
That no matter what we go through in life
Still show someone else love, and that you’ll always be there
Someone else may have it worse than you
Someone else may need the strength that lives inside of you
So showing love even when you don’t feel it
Is the best healing that you can do
Being in love with love is understanding that within you is where it begins
I am in love with love
Because I know now that in a world full of hurt, evil and pain……..
Spreading love is the only true way we all can win.

I’ve had a few dreams already come true, but some I’m still working on. But with hard work and dedication, I’m sure I’ll make it happen. My most recent dream that came true, was being featured in a best seller’s book.

Growing up, I always used to read the, Chicken Noodle Soup For The Soul books. They were books made for kids, teenagers, adults, pretty much for anyone who enjoyed them.

They had inspirational stories, poems and sometimes even songs written in them from real people and their real life experiences. True stories. I loved reading them whenever I was down, upset or just needed something to lift my spirits. Those stories of others always inspired me in some ways. Ways that helped me understand that whatever I was facing at the moment, others had gone through them too, if not sometimes worse. But somehow, those whose story I was reading, they made it out on the other side of whatever it was that they were facing. Which gave me hope and strengthen my faith that I would too.

After reading those books, I always dreamed of being featured in one of those books. So that I could tell my story just like they did, and inspire others, just like how they inspired me. I just didn’t know how I could make that happen. I didn’t give up, I just was unsure of how it would happen.

Until one day, while strolling through Facebook, I saw an ad for a writing contest for a website called Unsealed. At first, I thought that it’s just a chance to write and release some of the things that I needed to release as while starting my healing journey. But then I saw and realized that it was so much more. That it’s a community of people, writers, artists, friends to share their stories and also listen to each other, to uplift one another. Which I love. Not to mention, my story that I shared would be featured in a book. A book that is very similar to the books that I read and wanted so badly to be a part of. It wasn’t that exact book, but still my dream of my story being shared in a book, for a chance to be read by someone that could also inspire them……. My dream finally came true.

I do wish to do more, because I have a lot of stories to share. I want to take this time to thank everyone involved in the creation and success of The Unsealed community/website/books. You’ve helped me continue to do the work necessary for my healing journey, and you helped me make one of my dreams come true all while being introduced to some amazing people that I too can learn from. Sharing our stories in love and showing true compassion towards one another. See, dreams really do come true. True Story.

We’ve all suffered some type of loss in our lives that affected us greatly in some way. For some, more than others. I have suffered a quite a few losses in my life that I still find myself healing from today.With this letter I’m choosing to do something a bit different, I will say into a few words on what lessons I have learned from each loss in my life.

My 1st cousin/ first experience of loss: Eventhough we were only 5 years old at the time, I remember so vividly how I tried to grasp the fact that I would never see you again. Asking my mother, “so, she’s sleeping forever? She’s not going to wake up anymore?” As I watched you lay there in a casket. My first friend and sister, the one who would always play with me, eat with me and sleep with me at grandma’s house. You taught me not only what loosing someone close would feel like, but also showed me how capable I was of having someone that I could have fun with and just be me, a kid. Perfect for the little girl that I was then, just free spirited and happy. Just like you. I thank you for loving me, thank you for being you and thank you for being a part of the first stepping stones in life.

My 1st little sister: I was 9 years old when you passed away. I didn’t understand why you were given to us only to be taken away only a year later. Even though you was different because you were sick, you were still a beautiful baby and you were a strong fighter. I will never forget how when you were on your way here, I was responsible for running down the street to let our grandmother know you were coming because she wasn’t answering the phone. My first task as your big sis. I also remember the day you passed, while on the way to the hospital, riding in the back seat holding you…. You looked up at me, you smiled one last time and took your last breath in my arms. That was your way of saying “I love you big sister, I’m okay, I’m just going back home.” Thank you little sister. You taught me responsibility. You taught me that caring for someone else is such a joy and a honor to take very seriously. Something that I keep with me now today while being a big sister to OUR little sister. I make sure she knows that she has two big sisters and that you are a part of us both, forever.

My best friend: I never got to say goodbye to you. I found out about your death a month later which hurts still til this day. We were almost about to graduate high school before you were taken away due to domestic violence. We met in 5th grade and always was so a like. Like sisters. You never judged me for my imperfections and I never judged you for yours. Even when I had to transfer schools because of moving on the other side of town, you were the only friend out of our group of friends that still kept in touch. Still called me, still came to my house, still let me stay at your house, it was like I never left. You didn’t let a little distance ruin our friendship like everyone else did and that stood out to me. So thank you. You taught me what a real friendship is. Someone you can be yourself with, no judgments and no limitations. You taught me there could be a such thing as a friend who loves you no matter what. Not being able to say goodbye would only mean that you are still with me. Someway, somehow.

My beautiful grandmother: The most unexpected loss I never thought I would experience. Getting that phone call about never going to see you again felt like a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. Especially because we had just spoken the night before. Now that I think about it, it kind of felt like goodbye in a way. Only because I would always tell you that I loved you first over the phone. ALWAYS. You would either say, “me too”, or “alright grandma’s baby”, but never would say it first. I didn’t take it personal because I knew you loved me. Your actions always showed it, it was just you wasn’t always big on saying it over the phone. But that night you did. I remember looking at the phone after hearing you say, “Grandma loves you”. I told you I love you too and that I would visit you over the weekend when I didn’t have to work ( I was actually at work while talking to you that night). I’m glad I got the chance to say goodbye in a way. Since I love you was the last words we spoke. You taught me so much. How to be a wife ( just by watching you be the best, even though you didn’t get a chance to see me get married)You taught me how to love selflessly and it’s okay to put those whom you love before your own needs. Thank you my granny wanny for showing me how to be a pure kind hearted spirit no matter what life throws your way. I hope that I am continuing to make you proud.

Lastly…….My dear husband: Another unexpected loss. Losing you that day was unreal in every way. I wish we were both aware of your health issues so we could have done things differently. I will never forget watching the very moment your spirit/ soul left your body as you, just like my little sister, took your last breath in my arms. There are soooooooo many things that you taught me about myself, about love and about life that I will never forget. I grew to be such a wonderful, fearless woman because of you. You taught me something that no one has, and that’s what real unconditional love actually looks like. Love with no conditions. Loving when things are easy, and learning to love even harder when things are hard. Thank you husband for introducing me to the real me. So that I can love her just as much as you did if not more. You showed me how great I was. You showed me how capable I am of loving myself first so it could become easier to love others. I now see me as you did, and I see why you loved me the way that you did.

Each of you were in my life for a period, a moment but the lessons that each of you taught me will last a lifetime. I love you all and miss you all dearly. Until we meet again my love’s.

Little superhero, little me
Your so beautiful beyond what the eyes can see
Your smile, your style
Your warm personality
Your independence even as a small child
Is more than enough to drive your parents wild
I love who you are now
I love who you will be
I love that your who you are
Natural and free with a silly personality
Your amazing talents, your grace
Unaware somewhere you make someone else’s heart smile
Just by showing your pretty face
It may feel lonely at times
It may feel like your misunderstood
But I promise, all the wonderful things that you are
Someone else only wished they had could
Have your same courage and confidence
You’re wise beyond your years
That alone is gift
And as you get older, you’ll feel that little shift
That shift is knowing and embracing just how different you are
While others where born to be like the sun and moon
You were created to be a star
Your ability to love others more or as you love yourself
Being there for others even if all you have is yourself
Your heart is so pure, so be bold
Be the warmth, the light in a room that’s dark and cold
So rejoice in your individuality
Because you are a rare flower
Embrace being different from all the others
Because that is your superpower

Ocean view
Oh ocean view
Even a lake or a pond will due
The calmness that I feel when I’m with you
Or even the sound of your waves at night
Keeps me reminded that everything will be alright
When the wind kisses my skin
It’s nature reminding me that she is always my friend
The sun shining, the squirrels being squirrels
The happiness that overtake me, the same happiness of a little girl
Seeing the trees standing tall
Helps me remember that I too shall never fall
Ocean view
Oh ocean view
I feel overwhelmed, what shall I do
I sit in silence
Wait and see
While I’m sitting in silence, you comfort and answer me
Remember your talents you say
Use them, and they will lead the way
For the are the keys to a better day
Remember who you are and who you are meant to be
And whenever your feeling down and need a reminder,
You can always trust and come see me
So thank you
Ocean view
Oh ocean view
I can always count on seeing myself through you

Dear Little ole me, younger me

First, I want to start by saying how much I love you. And also, how important it is to love yourself. Even if you don’t feel it from others around you as much as you should, you will later on understand why. But before I speak to you about the future, I want you to be grateful for where you are right now. Understand that you are blessed, and should always just love who you are no matter what others may have to say about you.

With that being said, I want to encourage you to not worry about things of the future. Focous on the now. But, I will say this, that your future is a bright one. I dont want you to worry, because there is nothing to worry about, dispite how things may seem right now. Beleive it or not, you have a calling on your life from the most high above. The things that you are experiencing right now, the things that hurt you now, not only will you learn how to heal from them, but you will also have an important job to share your story with others so it may help those whom face the same traumas and experiences as you do. So, yes, that means that the things that you are facing now, you are not alone. Others are going through it too, some have it worse than you do. Which is why its so important to still be very grateful for the things and people that you do have, because there are people that may be less fortunate then you.

Looking forward to the future is nice, but dwelling on it, and worrying about it when you are not there yet, is not so good. Right now, your job is to be a kid and just have fun. Yes, as you get older, you will make some mstakes. But that’s okay, thats actually the only way you will learn, is through your own experience. Experience is the best teacher. Don’t worry about not fitting in with others, because as I said, your path is different, your experiences will be different, and your life is meant to be lived differently. I know you dont understand much right now, But I promise you, that one day you will understand everything perfectly. You are so beautiful and smart, and as you grow older, the more wiser and more beautiful you will become.
One day you will meet your prince charming, get married, maybe have kids, maybe not, but you will experience real unconditional love one day. And when you do, don’t be afraid of it, love back and love back as hard as you can. One day, you will have a little sister and it will be your responsiblity to help her as much as you can so that she too can understand the importance of first loving herself and next loving and caring for others.

Understand that, right now you are just a catoipillar. Just getting here, just now seeing and experiencing things. But one day, you will grow. And grow. And grow. Until you gain wings, that’s when you gain understanding. The hows, the whys and the what ifs about your life. Lastly, you will learn how to use those wings to fly. That’s the healing and sharing your story to help others process. You will learn how to fly. And when you do, fly. Fly high. No limitations, no fear of the unknown. Just fly.

At first, I thought that writting this letter would be hard for me because, there have been a few things that happened in my life that changed me for the better or that has tought me a lesson/lessons. But actually, it’s going to easier than I thought. Life is always teaching us lessons, but just as it was in school, it depends on if we are paying attention or not in order to learn those lessons.
One experience that helped me change my life for the better, was when I found The Most High ( or some like to call him, God). Dont get me wrong, I always was a very spirtual person because I did grow up going to church and all, but it wasnt until I had gotten older to understand that my relationship with him had to be alot more personal and alot more surrendering.

I have always known I was different, I just didn’t really understand how or why. And at first, yes I thought something was wrong with me because I never fit in with my peers. Eventhough I tried. It wasn’t until going through so many trials and tribulations all around the same time that caused me to seek a more deeper understanding about myself, about life and about my purpose of why I’m actually here.

I don’t want to get too much into details, but I will say that I had a few losses of loved ones, jobs, friends and even became homless at a point of time. Like completely homless to where I had to pedhandle, ask total stangers to help me be able to feed myself for the day, which was not always easy. I had slept ouside, on trains, even slept in a car. I am grateful for those who did help, but there were alot of people who didnt want to. Which caused me to have to spend awhile doing it until someone was kind enough to help me. Not to mention, I had to put so much pride to the side in order to be able to ask totally strangers for money in the first place.

One day, I had a meltdown. In frustration of everything that seemed to be hitting me all at once, I cried out literally in prayer. I was angry, sad, and very emotional. Didn’t know what else to do, who to turn to, or how to feel anymore. And eventhough I hadn’t been to church in years, something in me made me cry out in prayer that day. I was overwelmed. I knew there was someone greater than I that had the answers to all my questions, and I was tired of trying to figure it out on my own. And, The Most High most really did answer me soon after.

Something(our creator) urged me to start reading the bible after that prayer. So I did. I started to read more from that point on, started praying even more and not just even asking for things but being grateful for things that I did have and for still being here. I started to seek deeper into self-care and loving myself, healing from my past. I noticed that a change within me started to happen so much that I started to see changes happen around me and for me. I found a better job, making more money, married my soulmate, and I started to understand more about myself so that I could contiue to make changes and grow.

Some call it a spiritual awakening, I call it becoming more self aware. Healing from pass trauma and learning how and when to use my gifts. Remember when I said that I knew that I was different, and that I just couln’t explain or understand how? Well, I found out that everything that I had been through was meant to happen so that I could be a testimony to help others that may have experience the same things that I have. And that I should find ways to use my talents to share my story with others, to help them find and keep hope alive. I have become a better version of myself. I love helping others, wheither its with my story, or being someone that is easy to talk to, or even helping out the homless as best as I can. Because I was once homless, I now understand just how important it is to give back to the community. Expecially to those in need. I know firsthand that not many people want to help the homeless, so I want to make sure that I am apart of the small percentage that love helping. We should always give, it should be in everyone’s heart to help each other without looking for something to something gain. Unfortunatly, its not in everyone’s heart to help.

Our creator saved me that day. He was just waiting on me to acknowledge him, ask him for his help because he is the only one who truely can. I am on a better path in life now, eventhough it still can get frustrating with everything that’s going on, I now understand that I am not alone. I never was alone, and as long as I keep my realationship with him, he will always be there to guide me to the path that he designed for me.

what’s my idea of a perfect day? Well, that’s easy. I’m kind of more of a simple girl these days, now that I’m older. Actually, come to think of it, I never had the chance to really sit and think of what a perfect day would mean/look like for me from start to finish. Wow. I guess there really is a first time for everything……so here we go.
My Perfect &Peaceful Day.

As soon as I open my eyes. First thing I would do to get my day started, I will first start with prayer of the morning. Thanking our creator for another day, is always a must do to reinsure a great start to a great day. I follow prayer with meditation routine. That for me includes, deep breaths while sitting in silence, journaling, reading, anything to help prepare me for the day. This centers my mind so that it’s easier for me to be able to go out into the world and be able to deal with those around me.
After maybe an hour or two, make me a nice snack or breakfast. Which usually ends up being just a healthy quick snack because I don’t really like breakfast. Then, I do what I like to call “self-care repair” routine. It’s when I either take a nice bubble bath or a nice shower with my favorite candles, music, book. More time to relax and enjoy my own company before heading out for the day. After bathing/showering, I have a face-wash/skin routine as well. Then after that I put on my cloths and head out. If I’m not heading out then I would either read, write a bit beacuse I love writting (if you can’t already tell lol), listen to music and maybe watch movies for the remainder of the day.
But if it’s one of those days where I want to get some fresh air, I can always count on one of my favorite places….downtown at the lakefront or beach. Basically, anywhere with big body of water. I love water. A nice walk on a trail is always a great way to get fresh air and become one with nature too.
But it’s just something about being near water, in water or just even being around water that sooths me. Calms me, gives me clarity, gives me peace and I love it. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. Sometimes while sitting near the lake, I read, or just sit and think, sometimes I may even cry every once in awhile. But whenever I’m done, something about it always gets my creative juices flowing and song lyrics start coming to mind or idea to do a certain project may come to mind. So, nature and I work very well with one another. I stop to appreciate her (nature) , and she does what she does…..inspire.

Afterwards, I would go home, get started on those ideas and plans rigth away and start working towards accomplishing them. I always end my day with more mediation and prayer, being thankful for what that day has given me in prepration for a better tomorrow. Then, take another bubble bath/hot shower, more self-care repair and relaxation to finish off the day before a night of great sleep.

I know, may seem pretty boring to some, and that’s okay. See, what I learned as I got older, the more I value peace of mind and a peace of quite. Expecially in today’s world where peace seems hard to come by. So, you sometimes have to create your own peace. Prayer, Meditation, Fresh-Air, Nature and A Postive Mind-set all brings forth peace and creativity. And all of these things are 100% free.