This poem is inspired by God and the Solar Eclipse of April 2024

In the beginning you are a glowing circle surrounded by God’s light.

There will be times in life this circle starts to fill with dark spaces.

You begin to feel like there is no way out of this valley you are stuck in. Finding a way to the top of the mountain seems virtually impossible. Now the feelings of complete hopelessness and despair have set in.
The spark you once had has now faded into complete cold and darkness.

You are now at rock bottom.

Once at rock bottom your circle is now completely dark even though now you are still surrounded by God’s light.

With the passing of time the darkness only seems to worsen. All hope is now completely diminished.

Then without notice one day this tiny glimmer of hope shines through.

Just enough hope that sparks feelings of happiness, strength, and even determination.

Each passing day you continue to feel like smiling again. The light continues to take away the darkness.

Once again you find you are a glowing circle surrounded by the light of God.

IT’S A WONDERFUL RIDE

What if you fall on the sidewalk and your knee’s really bleeding
What if you can’t find a grown up to help with what you are needing
What if mommy forgets you in the classroom one day
What if you can’t hit the ball and kids won’t let you play
What if you fail the math test that you studied for last night
What if that loud mouthed bully is just itching to fight
What if the guy you love this week doesn’t like you at all
What if you think that you’re ugly- Too fat, short, thin or tall
What if someone says “Smoke this- And you’ll be super cool”
What if you can’t tell the truth when they call your parents to school
What if you have to drink beer to fit in with your friends
What if you have to have sex- Or the relationship ends
You’re scared and you’re sad- Sometimes stressed and depressed
And wonder if this world without you might just be for the best
Yet before you do anything drastic or strange
Or make an impulsive decision which you never can change
These feelings are valid and I don’t mean to diminish
But I’ve seen this whole movie from the start to the finish
And here’s a spoiler alert which you just shouldn’t ignore
What’s coming is magnificent and magic and more
And these day to day issues that now seem so traumatic
You’ll see were just trivial and for the most part- dramatic
Please believe this old lady and take the small stuff in stride
Because what if someday you realize- Your life’s been one amazing ride

Each accidental splotch of paint
creates a living masterpiece
discreetly layered in pain and joy–
choice contrasts for arousing art.

The darker strokes of greens and blues
stress hues of gold and bubblegum;
they sculpt perspective, hone your mind,
and prime you for the perfect life.

Deprive the whole of any piece,
you’ll cease to recognize its form–
unborn I’d be in every way,
betrayed by needless worrying

so fling your colors, live it up
rub bristles through the newest parts,
regard today with certainty–
you’re free to paint this masterpiece.

You will get off the school bus
After an hour-long ride
You will feel like an alien
Accidentally dropped earth side

Abandoned houses will surround you
The windows, covered with bars
All of the yards will be overgrown
And riddled with broken down cars

Your eyes will dart
From one side to the other
Making sure the coast is clear
Before you run home to mother

You will run and run harder
Through one last alley
Your home is the tower motel
It will feel like an uncanny valley

You won’t care about the crack pipes
Or the eviction notice taped to the door
Your only worry in the world?
Will be someone seeing you for what you think you are

A walking embarrassment
With tarnished old shoes
Living in a motel
Clinging to her smoky ruse

You will live this double life
As the gifted girl without a home
But please know, you will get out of here soon
You do not have to endure this all alone

What if someone see’s you?
What will you do if you get caught?
You will be wrapped up in one worry
But there is one thing you forgot

If you run so well
You will never get to see
What happens if they catch you
Is almost always nothing, fortunately

All that running in order to survive
It will teach you to be fast and to be sly
It will train you but maim you
It will teach you too well how to say goodbye

You are almost 30 now
Two decades since those days
You have nothing more to hide
The only thing left to rid is the shame

My dear, don’t worry if they catch you
Don’t let this be your only thought
Let your tired legs give out
You will know peace when you are caught

For when you are caught
Your legs get to rest and heal
Trust that they will see you
For what’s right, what’s good and what’s real

A resilient daughter
A fearless friend
Living in a house built from truth
With walls that no longer pretend

Dont rush to be an adult
You are only a child once
In the same breath I utter
Live life to the fullest

You may seem awkward and quiet now
But once puberty hits you are a radiant flower
A beautiful mind; a caring soul
Slaying in style even at your lowest

A people’s person
Someone you can always count on
These qualities help later on
Don’t let anyone underestimate your beauty.

“Teachers pet” is often said about you
Always punctual
It helps because almost everyone that comes in contact with you relies on you.

You have hard times
But you are going to face them head on
So strong that your enemies become friends.

So spiritual
You see everyone’s side
Always knowing God is in control.

I say this to say
Don’t worry Sapphire
Your life only gets better
The pressure you experience is for the joy that’s being hidden by time.

Dear younger me

Put those pills down you don’t want to die
Everything you believe now is a lie
Those days of crying in the bathroom because you had to eat alone
Or sadness because he didn’t call your phone
Won’t matter 15 years from now I promise

There will be a lot of pain you will go through
Your heart will hurt so bad you won’t now what to do
You’ll drink your sorrows away
Waiting just waiting for the day
That everything will change

All the pain you have endured over the years will make you stronger and make you the best mom you can be
And finally you’ll feel complete

So put the razor away
You’ll have enough scars that won’t fade
But you will be grateful for the scars on your heart
Because in the end it’ll make you strong enough to give you and your daughter a fresh start
To give her a life that you never had
So trust me everything your feeling now won’t feel so bad
Because you’ll give life to the light you always needed