Dissatisfied, looking unbothered
Smiles on the outside
With holding information.
Why waste my breath on explaining?
I’m learning to vent through
Poetry and music.
That’s the best way to
Get to know me,
I’m even getting to know myself.
As I sit back and think
Of my impatient past, with
Social anxiety. Had to basically
Learn how to live without the use of
Opiates, I was constantly sedated
For year’s. Knew I had to quit.
Then eventually went cold turkey,
I could probably say Marijuana
Helped me. I’ve attempted to quit
Multiple times go 3 to 5 days
Going through a sickness. Withdrawals
Are no joke when it comes to this.
So I used Marijuana to help
With my appetite and insomnia.
& alleviate my anxiety,
I’ve tried prescriptions
For it but I lost weight &
My appetite. So I let those go to.
To me it wasn’t worth it,
I have even come to a hatred
For pills in general.
Broke some bones after being
Clean. I’ve denied any pain meds
I couldn’t handle the thought of me
Out here hurting inside like that
Again. For years I’ve hidden it
But then eventually people see
And it’s not hidden.
Trying to hide the rattling sounds
Of a prescription,
Went and seen a shrink
Asking questions about how
I feel and think. I did this voluntarily,
In search for answers!
Then went off into
The abyss, as my biological body
Has adapted to certain things
Creating new proteins.
Another moment that turned
Out scary and exciting.
Development of knowledge
As I start to become it.
Now I’m reflecting it,
This is just my story, my
Experience, my testament.
They say we’re all the same
But what works for me
Could be different for other’s.
In my opinion from my
New found perception.
This is just part of my Development
We’re all out here with different views,
Different struggles, different battles.
In every culture in every religion
What it really comes down
To is the belief system.
Integrated with information
Like a genetic memory.
The DNA within,
Conflicting as it’s constantly changing.
Influenced with intuition,
Brings up another point about
Family & traditions, cultural & environmental
Experience. we’re all brought up different
They say only elephants hold
A genetic memory,
But, doesn’t everything have
A natural instinct?
Working on my crown
As I build my wisdom & connection.
I’m very thankful & feel
Extremely blessed to climb
Out of that addiction.

Sometimes my smile may appear a little crooked
Sometimes my face may have a blank stare
Sometimes my words can be misplaced
I am who I am that’s a person
I’ve been through a little something and I’ve come
Out of a little something
I’ve been made ashamed, beaten, cussed, and even blamed. I am who I am that’s a person
My walj isn’t so quick, and my reactions can be a little to strong. I am who I am that’s a person
Life is just what the phrase says a journey to hell and back.
Right now, I am on the right
So love me if you want
Hug and kiss me if you want
But never pass judgement upon me, hey I am just a person.

Heart went up in smoke.
Then turned cold,
Watching time unfold
As I inhale & exhale.
Observing the twists & turns
Of my vapors fading.
Just an observation, manipulating
“My space” through
(Time) as i Emit energy.
Particles partially fading
In a particular way.
To capture a picture.
Would be soo… captivating.
“Slow motion” catching a glimpse
Of 《time》 fading.

Time collapsed, reached
That destination.
Time to take it further.
Contemplating and recalculating
With another goal to reach.
Time consuming with
Work, reading & writing
Wonders of where to venture off to next.
Feet firmly planted trying to stay one step Ahead, staying in the moment & mixed past
Times for the “future” in the present.
Tenacious Times fall with a gift.

One day
I’ll have all that I need
And I won’t have to stress
About making it to
Tomorrow
In one piece.

One day
I’ll be on the beach
Sipping on margaritas
And working on that tan
Without it becoming a
Red lobster burn.

One day
Is all I need
To have my day
In the sun,
To finally be
THAT person.

One day
There won’t be
A Climate of Fear
Choking me
Every time I dare
To speak against horror.

One day
We’ll all realize
The preciousness of sharing
This finite world
And finally work for
The sake of preserving
Life great and small.

One day
Is perhaps the
Single worst word pairing
In the English language.
It’s a panacea at best.
A half hearted no at worst.

One day
Hangs loosely in
The future
As I finish this.
I’ll say it less
Someday. One day.

Planting a royal tree,
It blossoms with love
Grown with loyalty.
Sprouted in the darkness.
With the crown loving the light.
Rooted in nature, with water
Becoming bigger & stronger.
Benefits from the Fruits of my labor.
Self love being plucked and enjoyed
New roots & branches being exploited.

Astronomically puzzling, I always still find myself agaze
Occurring in the center of a galaxy, my tiny human mind tries to grasp the pure complexity
Black holes, gasses in space, churning at a rate that would vaporize me alive if I ever even got close enough to visit
Would it be worth it to travel light years away and somehow, though risk it?
Still, I humbly think
The brightness, energy, and radio waves expose us without our awareness.
It spins around glowing
Age, totally unknowing
Maybe one day I will experience one’s glow
But for today, I do not know
On a quantum level, perhaps they play apart in helping me grow

Vulnerable with some,
Assertive with respect.
Loud with boundaries,
Insecure with experience
Determined with patience.