Hard and painful work have brought me to this point in time — of my journey. Thank you to those who have loved me into being.

i am released from the shark tank
By: Jim Kellogg
(The Queer Poet)
10-21-24

last night
i put down
the stuff –
the weight on my shoulders –
following a short respite
i will try my best
to leave it there
it…
a story of many twisted chapters
a warning to the masses
a memorial to a highjacked past
i am walking again
the uncertain path
the mysterious path
the exquisite path
one step in front of the other
i am certain to
once again
stumble
fall
rest
regenerate
but for now
i am reclaiming
my emancipation
from the imaginary chains
of your twisted and demented desires
i have removed my portrait
from the landscapes
of our shared story
i will tuck it away
to keep it safe
to keep it free
the past was stolen by you
the future is mine
the remanence
of your insane acts
for now
will no longer live in my head
i have survived
i have told the story
i have been believed
the raindrops of my soul
water the flowers of a fresh spring
a growing season
an awakening
a thrust forward
i am released from the shark cage

I awakened from a deep and profound slumber;
There before me an empty road:
Listening to the the whistle of the wind, the symphony composed by the birds, I came to know love and peace once again, its fruit ripened with deliciousness;

With eyes deceived by a mind also deceived by the identity of “reality”;
But it’s mines to bend with a mind more bejeweled than a mine of Gems;
I now merge with my highest thoughts and soon become a being of amethyst;
I once stood in fear of the rays that were soon to come, only to recall that I AM indeed The SUN;

And THE SUN beith the Light, and all that once stood, and still stands in its wake can be nothing other than Light;

And when I opened my eyes all I saw was the Light;
My eyes looked over my body; I shimmered with specks of rainbow;
Pain and confusion were no more as the Light began to speak;

“SHHH…;
YOUR MIND,IT HAS BEEN POLLUTED AND SUBMERGED IN IGNORANCE FOR SO LONG, YET SO LITTLE;

YOU ARE A CHILD THAT’S NOW READY TO BE THE GEM.IN.I;
LISTEN TO ME,FOR I AM U AND U ARE ME, THE LIGHT;

BOTH YOUR MIND AND HEART HAVE BEEN HEAVY, BUT WORRY NO MORE;
LET MY RAYS NO LONGER BLIND YOU, BUT COMFORT YOU;
LET LOVE AND BEAUTY REPLACE THE SORROW AND BITTERNESS ONCE FELT;

FOR WHEREVER YOUR FEET ARE PLACED FLOWERS AND DELICIOUSLY RIPENED FRUIT WILL BLOOM”;

And as I begin to move to the Rhythm of the Light, the prisms of my bodice cast onto the world a boundless Love

(Long Version)

“Last night in my dream, i seen a large black and white woodpecker staring at me”. I automatically assumed it was a Magpie bird based on how big it was and because of the missing red top on its head. But when I looked up its images I seen the speckled bird labeled as a Nutall Female woodpecker ( Something ive never seen) so I looked up the meaning and it stated that my soul was extra protected. I took that as a sign from Mother nature that all was well and i have nothing to worry about, especially after yesterdays supernatural oddity. While attending my daughters morning bookfair and donuts for grown ups event i suddenly had a massive headache on the left side of my head after making eye contact with an old acquaintance whose energy i felt strongly lingering on the darker spectrum.
Though we smiled at one another the pain intensified , with instant brain fog and a wooziness to my mind. I had to leave the vicinity. When i got home, I laid down right away to shake off the chills and the extreme fatigue ,I fell a sleep. I seen an old school computer sitting on a desk in a dim room that said “data breach” with green letters on the screen> I immediately woke up with a sharp pain in my right foot lining the arch. It was clear that this was A more than obvious sign my energetic boundaries were being crossed.
“I sensed it the moment the extreme headache came about when at the event, something i never have but only get when im under heavy psychic attack.”
An entity attachment was what was looming, i called a trusted source and she began plucking them off like strings, now i can breath! I felt much better suddenly so much so that Now i was desiring my Missed cup of morning coffee! Of course, These were only but a few signs of the covert actions of someone overstepping my boundaries. I’ve been bullied and antagonized alot from dark spiritualist as well as family with whom I’ve cut ties with. And my dreams never lie, I often have to cut cords with an over barring mother figure who often peered into my life as if i was some sort of crystal ball. Its like a brisk of cold wind you cant shake, you get the chills, its like its something strange, you can feel it in the air .

“But Enough was enough i had to speak my peace, the pushback of my truth became dauntless to a point it rattled the demons of many because being told no was clearly something they were not used too.” To some my words were gentle but i gave a stern stare. Then there were some i just walked away from, disappearing into the silence like a ghost out of thin air.
“ For the little girl inside needed protecting and because of HER ongoing silence, i couldnt bare not defending against those that resembled the inglorious snares”. All these lessons taught through the Bible stories bled a shocking undertone of my lifes resemblance. Ive experienced a number of Judases Like Yeshua , dealt with jealousy and envy with plots to end me like Joseph and have been stripped of everything except my faith like Job : But through it all with my sword , I slashed the cords like a blade to the veins cutting blood ties because I got word from Grandmother that I was painted out to be insane from the chatter amongst the groundroots that made them turn in there grave! … We can just say i heard it through the grape vine”.

Ive blocked numbers, and changed directions i traveled . Even switched coffee shops to enjoy this new found peace because i really care about who I AM and who i ain’t ! No more biting my tongue and making myself small just to make them comfortable, no more losing sleep worrying if i over expressed my joy toomuch even from the littlest things , ..Its the little things – that made it all become clear. No more allowing the joking downplay to my accomplishments, no more being blind to the ones stealing my jewelry that held my energy for them to cast spells over me ( I KNOW). They even went far to block my creativity by putting a death to me by ways of not giving or receiving; by using a Dolls hands that didn’t work ( I Know about that too) “They were there for the world to see in the wide open sitting on a desk like a glowing needle in a field of haystack”.

Its gotten to the point where i had to shatter the ground behind me in order to walk away selfishly , enough is enough … im done letting entitled people overstep my boundaries.

TRUE STORY

Some say “time” is an illusion,
As we sift through the past,
Splash in the present &
Unwrap the future.
Then come to a conclusion,
We just emit time, with, energy.

My Sister Kate
The day approaches near, and I feel an empty space.
My thoughts are so depressing, every turn I see your face.

Our mother’s scream still lingers, through my ears and in my head.
As her words slice through the air, “Oh God Crissy Kate is dead”.

Yes, I thought she’d lost it. But I came to realize.
That she wasn’t nuts at all, I soon saw with my own eyes.

Your body lay half on the bed and I turn to take a look.
As I flipped your body over, my entire soul was shook.

Blood oozed out from your nose, your mouth frozen slight ajar.
Your eyes were rolled inside your head. How did it get this far?

You were cold and you were stiff. You were charcoal, purple, blue.
Your entire body swollen, you just didn’t look like you.

Our mother screaming “Make her breathe”, continually she would yelp.
“Oh Crissy you have to save her”. “Oh Crissy you have to help”.

I tried desperately to revive you. Though I knew it was too late.
Dear God I want my sister. Why the hell are you taking Kate?

There was no pulse or movement, as I compressed repeatedly.
My mouth upon your discolored mouth, the only breathing was from me.

Our mother asking, “is she alive”? “Crissy is she breathing yet?
You were so cold and dark, beneath my hands, I can’t forget.

I failed to make it happen. No matter how tirelessly I had tried.
I failed to make you breathe again, beyond the door, our mother cried.

At some point my movements stopped and I took this final sight.
As my sadness and the anger, just consumed me in my plight.

You were gone and I had to tell her. “Mom, I’m sorry she is dead”.
Her scream of horror ringing on, her heart breaking with what I said.

She looked up to my eyes, and said “Oh Crissy that can’t be, tell me no”.
If I could have traded my life right then, but I held her, as we let you go.

If only I could have saved you. If only there had been some way.
If only I could have filled our Mom’s request, then you’d be here today.

Instead we watched them take you. A black body bag across the floor.
Your body dead within it, as they dragged you out the door.

As if you weren’t a person, pulling you like a fleshy inhuman blotter.
Their callousness invokes me, so I scream “that’s my sister and her daughter”.

As they thumped you down the stairs, stunned, they stop to stare at me.
They look upon the body bag, and finally they begin to see.

From the ground they gently pick you up and they move you to the Hurst .
My misery all consuming, I know my rage is about to burst.

But I have to be the strong one and I have to move along.
To be there for our loving mother, to be the rock to keep her strong.

I will not ever forget that day, because a big part of me died with you.
Regardless of the years since then, this isn’t something I can get through.

I’m sorry I couldn’t fix it sometimes the memories just make me crack.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be the one, to save you and bring you back.

I miss you and I love you and I am so sorry this was your fait.
The good of you and that horrid day will always live inside me, my sister, Kate.

From my head on your shoulder
To your head on mine
It happened so slowly
With the passage of time

You held my hand
And wiped my tears
Who knew I’d dab yours
In the oncoming years

You were bigger than life
So steady and strong
Always stood tall and right
While singing your songs

From holding me up
With love and such power
From helping me stand
To helping you shower

The safety I felt
With you by my side
I hope you felt the same from me
At the end of our ride