Dear me, not past me or little me just me now, you tell yourself everyday your not enough, you aren’t worth it, that your just a waste of space, and that you’re useless. You act fine and happy like everything is amazing in life its natural to do at this point, like a smile is the mask you must wear throughout the day, you can’t let people know, not even your friends, you have to be alone, deserve to be completely and utterly alone. When these thoughts come the one friend you told is there for you and tells you how you’re not worthless, how you just haven’t found your place yet. She says if your gone you’ll miss out on the beautiful sunsets, the crashing ocean waves, the magical words I’ve yet to read, or the people I haven’t met that could change everything, or stars that fill the night skies that I’d miss out on. There are many years to come so don’t give up in times of despair, but rejoice in the small moments of happiness. Your young, so, so, young your life has just begun don’t take away the future you dream of the life you yearn for, live for the future not the past it can’t be changed but the future is yet to come. You will always be more than life led you to believe because you are enough.

Dear Younger Self,

Remember the times when you thought, or had been told by anyone, that if you looked a certain way to be beautiful, then a guy would fall head over heels for you?

Deep down, the advice isn’t fully true. However, it never helped when others made compliments on your curvy body or even went as far as to compare you to your peers, or even worse, to your older sisters who already had their lives figured out while you’re still searching for yours.

We can’t help it whenever we’re socially awkward, no matter how hard we try to act smart, rehearse conversations beforehand, keep quiet, or tell a joke that nobody understands.

Exercise is always rewarding, yet we’ll probably never compete in the big sports with some muscles in the knees fighting against each other, which commands a slower workout pace in taking care of ourselves.

You’ve had crushes, most of which are the good types. I apologize that almost all of them only saw you as a “friend” or the “nice girl,” knowing full well that they will never ask you out, as they had seen past you instead of through you. It’s even worse when three crushes confidently tell you they like your friends.

You’ve been a people pleaser for so many years because you wanted many friends, so you would never feel lonely. You hated judgment, criticism, and disappointment, and yet there was often one small wrong detail that you didn’t get right.

You’ve wondered if you weren’t pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough, strong enough, skilled enough, or funny enough, then who were you supposed to be?

You kept masking with a brave face, putting others before yourself. But at the end of the day, you’re only human, praying that there will be someone there for you, to hold you and say, “this too shall pass.”

You have now come to a point where you realize, “I’ll never be good enough, no matter how hard I try.” I’m so sorry that we came to that eye-opening conclusion.

However, there are some things in my present self that I can say to you as a piece of wisdom: in a world that says either you’re good enough or not at all, there is no one-hundred percent belief on either side. We believe, and live by, the belief that “we’re not perfect, nobody ever is, we are enough and we’re still learning.”

If something needs improving, we can learn by applying a growth mindset and prosper. It never needs perfection. It never required human approval. It needs care. It needs growth. It needs to make good daily choices, no matter how old you get.

Not skilled enough? You’re getting experience.

Not talented enough? You’re practicing what needs to be better than the first few or hundred times.

Not strong enough? Be gracious to yourself in both physically, mentally, and emotionally ways.

Not funny enough? You have your special sense of humor, so own it!

Not smart enough? Still applying any source of useful tools and education from books, videos, and teachers.

Not pretty enough? Have your definition of true beauty to stand by, even if no one notices it but yourself.

As for true love, don’t worry, he will come. He’s more than an average guy. He’s a very loving man who will never stop thinking of you. To him, you are the most beautiful in this entire world, whether you wear something glamorous or are a beautiful mess.

As for thinking that you’re not enough, you might not be for most individuals. Others, you are more than. And that is alright. For yourself, it’s okay that you don’t have everything figured out, or have the perfect scale of any side you fully believe in.

You’re where you need to be, and you do have a purpose in this life: enough and yet growing.

Dear,
I’ve written letters to family, friends, and strangers but never to you. Perhaps it is because I am unsure of where you are within our shattered pieces of self-worth. You don’t remain in a single moment of time but rather in many. You hop around through our timeline as if you are Alice’s white rabbit. I know that during your travels, you yell at the top of your lungs, asking yourself, “Why? Why me? Why am I not good enough? Why am I not beautiful or intelligent? Why am I not simply enough?”
I wonder where you are right now. Are you in the parking lot where our heart and soul bled out? Or can I find you in the phantom living room, sitting on the scarlet and amber chair, trying to create conversations that were never there? Perhaps you are in the bedroom, the TV on mute, as you sit in deafening silence, staring at the untouched plate of food. Or do you sit in the backyard with Depression and her children, watching them as they play and dance around the black and white cherry blossom tree? Where are you, Little Bunny? Have you found yourself running towards the alluring poisonous lake again, inhabiting the same space as the beast of a man they call Narcissus? Have you become the echo to that story?
I am here. Awaiting for your to return home to me. For as long as you take, I will wait until you are ready. I will be the first to admit that the same as the world has, I have been cruel to you, my love. You wear the indestructible mask remarkably so well- for us- as if we are not leisurely killing ourselves from the inside out. I broke you. I broke you until you became the small, insignificant, shattered fragments of yourself. Yes, I have been a ferocious host towards you. Chaining you up and taking you beyond tears of sorrow and dread, I have dragged and thrown you into the morbid abyss of nothingness. Yet, here I am, pleading and hoping that you trust me for the very first and last time in our lives.
Time is a liar here. It won’t erase your mistakes, nor will it give you back the heartbeats that you have missed. The stories that Depression tells you are merely fairy tales. So, tell me, where are you? I carry no weapons in hand, only half-healed wounds. I know our wonderland is not tea parties or whimsical tricks. It is a trail of horrific sights and sensitive bombs. A trail full of “we must not feel, we do not cry.” “We must carry the world on our shoulders without complaining and definitely without whining.” “We must take care of others and put their needs above ours because we do not matter.”  
However, the truth is, Little Bunny, we will never be enough. Not now or ever. We cannot be perfect, and we cannot carry the world as if we were Atlas. We are not a god. We are merely a human girl. We can only try to be a better person than we were yesterday. Come home to me. Plod your way along the treacherous road, for our mind is unbowed, just as the poem Invictus states. Collect your pieces, open your wounded heart, show your bruises, and breathe in the air of cherry blossoms and musk because we are not simply a single thing. We are as complex as our backyard tree. We are everything you want to forget and the future that might be. Do not give up on us and listen to my hums in the harsh winds, for I am very much real and not a delusion. I will wait for eternity or until the world ends, whichever comes first. Must I remind you that we have work to do? That we are enough for ourselves even if the world disagrees; we are here for a reason. Now come out of hiding, Little Rabbit, for I am no longer the wolf. I have always been the bunny, too. Besides, this picnic is for two.
Sincerely,
C.R.

“Hear Me With Your Heart ❤️‍🩹”
In a world that buzzes, loud and wild,
You opened arms to a hurting child.
Not born of blood, but born of grace,
I found my home, my rightful place.
Mom and Dad, you saw past pain,
Through all the storms, through every strain.
You saw the spark, the soul beneath—
The silent strength, the breathless grief.
I came with scars not easy to see,
Carved deep in years of history.
Foster homes, cold nights, and fears,
Unspoken truths and stifled tears.
I wear devices on my ears,
A bridge between two distant spheres.
I may not catch each sound or tone,
But don’t mistake me all alone.
I am not broken, dumb, or weak,
My silence doesn’t mean I won’t speak.
I have a voice — it’s loud and clear,
If only you would truly hear.
Don’t wait for words that never come,
Hear the silence, feel what’s numb.
Just look inside my quiet eyes—
You’ll see the questions, see the “whys.”
Why do I fear to let you in?
Why hide my battles deep within?
Because too often, I’ve been taught,
That pain is something best forgot.
But love like yours breaks down that wall,
It tells me I can tell it all.
That even when I fall or fight,
Your arms will hold me through the night.
We may not always see eye to eye,
And sometimes tempers shout and fly.
But isn’t that just family, too?
The love that fights, then starts anew.
So hear me not with ears alone—
But with your heart, your love, your own.
I’m not a puzzle to be solved,
Just someone who wants to be involved.
Deaf or hearing, we all cry,
We all reach for a reason why.
We all need someone who will stay,
When words and signs both drift away.
So don’t define me by what’s gone—
I’m more than silence carried on.
I’m laughter, dreams, and late-night talks,
I’m stumbles, triumphs, winding walks.
I’m human—full of light and fire,
Of stubborn hopes and deep desire.
And I believe, with you beside,
I don’t have anything to hide.
So thank you, family, for this space,
For every smile, for every grace.
You chose to love, and not erase—
You helped me find my rightful place.

Feeling Low
I am reaching out to share because I heard you were feeling low. Your life has not been going the way you thought it should go.
Listen to me; I have something to say: You’re a good daughter, mother, sister, auntie, and friend in every way.
I’ve watched you tackle the challenges in life with integrity; they say the apple doesn’t fall
far from the tree.
Avoid letting today’s troubles get you down; instead understand what you are going through
and that it will come around.
In the face of fear, you managed it like a pro; all the pain you’ve endured, while feeling alone – nobody possibly could know.
But I watched you handle it all; challenging every emotion while appearing fearless and tall.
You’ve given me hope and strength in the face of diversity, showing me how to love myself
and to truly believe…
That I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
So, by reading this letter please hear me and know sister, girlfriend, there is no reason for you to feel low.
High in your positive energy and kind words- you’re a star! I am writing this to you because I want you to know who you are.
By Shay

Be you! Enjoy those wildflowers. Enjoy the wind blowing through your hair as you ride your bicycle through town. Don’t be intimidated by anybody. You have a wonderful, exciting life ahead of you. Don’t let anybody make you question yourself. You make very wise and careful decisions. Your dreams are worth stepping into. You are beautiful! You are sexy! You are smart!
On one special night in October of 1979 your future husband will ask you to spend your life with him as his wife. I know you’ve only known him for 3 months. I also know you will question making such a huge decision. Say ‘YES” with assurance that your future will be awesome with him in it. I wouldn’t change a thing so enjoy the journey.
During the journey, don’t stop attending college! I know you will be tempted to stop, but don’t do it! What your future spouse didn’t tell you is that he is only a semester worth of credits away from his Bachelor’s degree…encourage him to finish! If he doesn’t do it now, he won’t do it. Fine art will be his friend in the future as well as architecture design…encourage him to pursue those two studies.
And school for you? I know you are torn between wanting to be a teacher, pleasing your mom by taking accounting, and studying computer programming for your dad. That’s ok, all those subjects will be beneficial for your future! I want to encourage you to pursue a degree in Psychology and Creative Writing! You can do it! And you’ll enjoy it!
A great choice would be for both of you to find a college to attend together and live on campus. After you are married you can live in family housing. Trust me, it will be worth it!
The most important key in absolutely everything you do is to put God first! Focus on God for all your decisions! Life will be full of challenges, but the blessings will far outweigh the challenges. In fact, the challenges will make the blessings even more meaningful!
Start writing a journal. Eat healthy and stay active. Riding bikes, hiking, bowling are all things you will still enjoy years from now. Your sweetie may not enjoy these but start a routine now! He thrives on routines!
I will add, invest in gold and property now!! Start off small but keep it consistent and increase with every penny you can. Be you and focus on God! Be alert to key words like, blogging a influencers. Your education, experience and history will allow you to encourage others through your blogging. Being an influencer can be used to teach, direct, encourage, and console other young girls and women. Technology will change more than you can even imagine. In fact life as you know it will be so different. Remember to love others no matter who they are or where they’ve been. Let God do the judging, you do the loving.
People will try to discourage you. The ones who are the closest are the hardest to pull away from. In fact everything I’m telling you will be an uphill battle if you listen to people. But remember, you got this! God will be using you! Everything will be ok, you are so blessed! Enjoy the journey!

So today sucked. I thought it would suck because it’s a Saturday in Cleveland boxing up a gross house of a dead lady; who by the end was so unrecognizable she probably couldn’t tell you who she was let alone remember why she told basically everyone she came in contact with why her daughters abandoned her and she’s the obvious victim. But, it sucked for so many more reasons. Boxing up things means moving on.
Closure.
Finality.
I’m not sure I’m ready to be done. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so so grateful that there are people detached enough from my situation willing to help to step around me while I stare at the silverware.
I don’t know what it is about that house…
I can’t focus.
I can’t breath.
I can’t think.
I can’t move.
I get lost in memories and lost conversations and fights and sleepovers and birthday parties and bonfires and Christmas mornings.
Hiding liquor bottles and begging her not to drink that day.
Asking why I wasn’t enough…
Back to the silverware. Deep breath, I want to hate her. I want to light a match a walk away. But I can’t. Because I do in the back of my mind remember when she loved me.

Just last week as I walked across the street
I had a feeling of being so small,
It brought me so much fear I wanted to crawl.
“How could I be the one who paints & just drifts?”
Meeting random producers and making my favorite riffs.
“But I’ve worked so hard my joy has even become stiff.”
Shallower my breath was quickly becoming.
Yet I am standing & continuously running,
through each marathon towards the finish line.
What’s meant for me is already mine.
So, I take each strand of my life,
pull it & twist into twine.
Rushing to ballet classes falling through the grape vine.
A voice in the wind, it’s obviously my kin.
“Aren’t you ready to finally win?”
“Your strength is no longer thin.”
“Leave this nonsense & take a releve spin.”
“See what’s on the other side.”
“Just go be weird & enjoy the ride.”

To me, you’ve always been more than enough! Your environment conditioned you to act on demand, denying you the liberty to explore your true self.

I remember how you felt like you constantly had to perform, to be what others expected, always chasing approval instead of your own quiet joys. That feeling of being invisible, not truly seen or heard, crept into every corner of your mind. It made you shrink, made you doubt the very spark that was always inside you, just waiting to ignite.

You’re like the tiny firework that everyone laughs at in the beginning, but once your flame is lit, SPARKS FLY! I know all too well about life’s struggles–like overlooking what’s right in front of you. It’s hard to stray away from your comfort zone when the struggle was all you’ve known.

IT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT, I JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW!

Trust me, I get it. Implementing the change was your desire, but fear of trusting yourself held you back. You constantly thought about the worst-case scenario, but never thought things could actually work out. You were so used to being invisible that even you were blind to your many hidden talents.

For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve always been a fighter. The best kind of fighter, though, because you lead with your heart above all else. You take the time to feel things deeply, and you’ve become a safe space for the people that matter most to you.

If you ask me, I think you’ve been too hard on yourself. You’ve been through a lot, so it’s okay for you to fill your cup up first. You were never selfish; you just reached your breaking point with selfishly, entitled people. I recall the sting of betrayal and how hard it was to trust again after feeling let down by those you held dear. But even then, you learned how to open up again.

I know you’re tired of your abandonment issues being triggered by people you trusted. But you learned how to pick yourself back up and try again. Just think about it; you’ve made it through every bad day so far, so why not envision the life you’ve always dreamed of?

No one in this world can walk a mile in your shoes, and your existence alone is proof enough of your strength. People always show up for you in the nick of time because of who you are and not what you can do for them. Life has dealt you some bad hands, but you are a great person. I think that’s AMAZING to possess that much strength and resilience.

So be sure to tell yourself that you’ve always been enough! You are and always will be the light in every dark place! The purity of your heart is remarkable. Your sincere intentions. Your patience. The loyalty you show. Your honesty. Staying true to you was the answer all along. Inspiring others to live in their truth while loving themselves fully in the process! You’re the best kind of person to know and love in all stages of life.

P.S. – You’re the main character. ACT LIKE IT!