As we dance around the sun once again
I will demonstrate my love for you
And I will listen
Every sign
Every metaphor
Body
You are wise
I will learn more from you
Things I cannot see with my eyes
Feel with my hands
You talk to me
And I’ll stay curious
A sore stomach
And ache in my head
Sweaty palms
The fast paced beating of my heart
The signals that you send to me
I will slow down
And I will be listening
For your wisdom
This is the year
Body and soul
Dance together in time

I vow to God this dull December day
that faith and love will greet the coming year
as valiant, righteous knights opposing hate
unarmored and outnumbered, fate unclear.

My sword of truth shall drip with cobalt ink,
each slash, riposte, and stab incising verse
beneath corroded alloy chainmail links
’til evil waves the white, all ranks disperse.

But while this vital battle rages on,
I’ll raise my shield to spare the innocent—
its coat of arms: Mosaic of a Mom,
poetic scene with eighty thousand dents—

ensure their laughter’s heard above the roar
and ugliness of Moralistic War.

What pushes us forward while keeping us grounded is often the place where our dreams were founded.
We hold them close to our chest hoping that they will propel us to our best,
We have chosen each because of the morals and values they teach.
Like feeling the sun on your skin and the fresh air you’re taking in will guide you to understand that in the grand scheme, these problems you face be that of a grain of sand.
Fortify your mind, for you will find that what you keep there will become your crosses to bear.
But don’t forget your physical self and put your body away on a shelf, allowing it to slip away until you find yourself beginning to fray.
Hold the people near who mean the most and lean on them when you fear you’re at the end of your rope.
Keep them close through the good and the bad, cherish the memories, and remember that social media perfectionism is a lying fad.
Your family, whether chosen or birth, truly love you to the ends of the earth, much further I’m sure if you ask them.
Be an example to them, for they look up to you but remember they want the you that is true.
Work towards that joy that blooms from inside, that’s so abundant, there’s no place for anger or lasting sadness to hide.
Set the boundaries when you need to because if you don’t, they will carelessly walk all over you.
Put your family you created before all others, and do what it takes to give them your best. Take care of them for that is where your future rests.
I’ve shared with you what keeps you moving because you’ve got a lot of thoughts continuously blooming.
This year brought a range of strong emotions but I would sail the entire ocean to cut the cord on toxic patterns and get back to focusing on what matters.
Cheers to 2025, may this be the year that I truly thrive.

In 2025, the dawn will break,
A year of promise, a path to take.
With goals ahead, so bold, so bright,
A future waiting, full of light.

To grow in wisdom, deepen grace,
To meet each challenge face to face.
With every step, a lesson learned,
A world of progress to be earned.

In 2025, I’ll find my way,
Through brighter mornings, bolder days.
A heart more open, free from doubt,
With dreams and goals that shout and shout.

To lift the voices of the unheard,
To listen closely, every word.
To build connections, break down walls,
And rise together when life calls.

With every student, every friend,
I’ll work to help them to transcend.
To guide, to teach, to help them see,
The potential in their hearts to be.

In 2025, I’ll challenge fear,
Step forward boldly, draw more near.
To seek new knowledge, spark new fires,
To fuel the dreams and deep desires.

With each new day, I’ll take the chance,
To lead with love, to teach, to dance.
To make a difference in every way,
And celebrate the work I’ll do each day.

The goals ahead are filled with might,
And I will walk with steady light.
In 2025, I’ll boldly claim,
A year to rise, to grow, to aim.

Goals for 2025

Get up, Stay up, Don’t fall down-
You’ve been at home too long Dear, it’s time for town-

Get up, Stay up, Don’t fall down-
You can do this Dear just straighten your crown-

Get up, Stay up, Don’t fall down-
Be a Good Girl Dearest and do not frown-

Get up, Stay up, Don’t fall down-

Come correct, I say to the mirror,
not a command but a beckoning,
an invocation for grace, for truth,
for showing up without shame’s shadow.

Know when to lean in
to the warmth of a friend’s laughter,
to the edge of discomfort that births growth,
to a lover’s hands, the hymn of belonging.

Follow up, follow through,
threads of accountability weaving
a tapestry I won’t let unravel.

Smoke less, or not at all,
unless it’s with the slow reverence
of palo santo billowing and curling towards the ancestors.

Exercise more
not just my body,
but the courage to move toward joy,
the strength to stretch past hesitation.

Stay in touch, send love notes in whispers,
in texts, in hand-scrawled cards,
become the bridge between worlds we almost lose.

Be tapped into my creative vessel,
a river I refuse to dam,
flooding into states of flow where time is myth.

Devour fruits ferally
mangoes dripping,
berries ravaged,
life sweet and unplanned, bitten into wholly.

Under my blood’s moon, I’ll dance,
offer secrets to the sky,
let ritual stitch me into the night.

Get published
my words spilling
like offerings on a page,
Bring to life stories that refuse silence.

Chip away at my debt,
practicing the rejection
of a weight that I can no longer carry.

Have more sex
more holy collisions,
more communion where skin is scripture
and bated breath is a plea answered.

Stay hydrated
be a body of flowing abundance.

Know how to oscillate,
between softness and sharpness,
between solitude and the heat of crowds.

Travel to horizons that shift my spine,
to cities where my tongue learns new dances,
to fields where roots whisper my name.

Learn how to pray again,
to kneel with open hands,
to find God in what I’d lost and what I make.

Tap into intuition,
feel the pull of what’s unseen,
a guide not tethered by reason.

Call my grandma, my aunt,
build bridges of memory,
let their stories braid into my own.

Record oral histories,
gather words like fallen leaves,
preserve the voices that made me.

2025, I summon you
like a spell, like a promise
not to change me,
but to root me deeper into who I am becoming.

Dear Unsealers,

Whenever I am in the psych hospital, the nurses and psychiatrist want me to find a reason to live so I do not keep ending up there.

For many years, my tortoiseshell cat Hershey’s Kisses was my reason to live.

She adored me and would have been devastated if I had died before she did.

Finally, in October 2024, my reason for living died.

I had to put Hershey to sleep because her health declined exponentially, and living was no longer an option for her.

Now I was the one who was devastated. I had no reason for living. What do I do now?

Then, it came to me. I had spent my entire life living for others, helping others, pleasing others.

I had neglected my own happiness, my own well-being, for my entire life.

Sure, I went to therapy and took medication. Yet I still felt hollow.

I was an empty pot. I needed to fill myself with dirt, water, and a thriving plant.

The dirt would be my foundation for living. I needed plenty of nutrients.

I am learning how to treat my body like a temple, feeding myself nutrient-dense foods, and making intentional movements.

Meditating and self-reflecting.

Rest and relaxation.

The water would be the love I shower myself with. How do I show myself love?

I shall develop hobbies I perform only for myself. Take plenty of time for myself.

I have plenty of activities I plan to occupy myself with.

Making sticker collages.

Coloring in coloring books.

Writing letters and poetry to develop my preferred craft.
Reading enjoyable literature. My plan this year is to read at least one book a month. After all, the best writers also read voraciously.

There are fun activities I plan on learning how to do in 2025.

Writing shorthand so I can write as fast as I think. My mind races fast and it is impossible to catch up in longhand and speech.

Putting on makeup, not to look good for others, but to fill up with beauty the blank canvas that is my face, to visually please myself.

Colored pencil drawing, because I want my fifth-grade art teacher who criticized my self-portrait to eat her heart out.

Playing guitar and writing songs because I need to release the soul in my heart from time to time.

2025 will be the flourishing plant that springs from the pot I have lovingly curated for myself.

2025 will be the year I finally live for myself.

In 2025, I’ll claim my place,
With love for myself, I’ll set the pace.
A healthy weight, a body renewed,
A temple of strength, my soul imbued.

I’ll fall in love with the woman I see,
Unveiling the depths of discovering me.
Each step I take, God’s purpose unfolds,
A journey of faith, where courage holds.

To write the stories in my soul,
Complete each book, make my dreams whole.
Poems, scripts, and wisdom to share,
Inspiring others with words that care.

No more cycles, no paths the same,
Change is the spark that fuels the flame.
Healthy habits, a mind refined,
Breaking chains, leaving doubt behind.

My dreams will soar, my voice will rise,
With poems that heal and open eyes.
To inspire others, my truth I’ll share,
A beacon of hope, beyond despair.

Peace will anchor my every thought,
Lessons lived and wisdom taught.
Walking in purpose, designed by God’s hands,
A life of intention, as He commands.

Growth on all levels, my spirit will bloom,
Filling each space, dispelling the gloom.
In 2025, I’ll stand so free,
A reflection of strength, a better me.

Each goal a seed, each action rain,
A year of clarity, growth, and gain.
Toward the life I’m destined to uplift,
2025 will be my greatest gift.

More than anything else that life may offer me as the new year approaches, I desire rain and gloom, choking on the scent of secretion from plants as the rain showers-a strangely unpleasant reward.
I desire light emitted in its warmth, embracing me in its rays as the room accommodates me in its space.
The creak of wood as bare feet grace its ageing surface.
The gentle caress of intentionally, creatively, and emotionally articulated sentences as I supine staring at the wonders of the night sky.
The comfort of another that does not need removal, for they are laconic with their words but intentional with their meaning. I desire a reality engulfed by serenity.

The next year 2025 will be my year
I have waited enough for it, it’s time to fly away
I’m tired on being closed in a small cage
I want to fly and feel free like an eagle on the sky

I will prepare myself with love and dedication
it is time to shine, to shown your gifts to the world
I will be the successful person I want to be
nobody will turn off my light this upcoming year

I will learn how to drive, it is time to be fear free
I have postponed this for a long time
this time my fury demons will not stop me
I will drive freely like nobody else on the road

I just need to let down my fears and insecurity
and strongly hug my bad emotions into a greatness
I will drive this 2025 as I’m tired of ask for rides
you are a strong and intelligent woman you will do it

I will think more on myself, nobody cares if is not you
I will take long baths and meditate more on my dreams
being a mother of 3, a wife and a entrepreneur is hard
I need to focus in my self esteem and do what I enjoy to do

I wlll find this 2025 more time to write
God had gifted me with this passion
I will find the space to write all my emotions
instead of let them torturing into my head

This 2025 I will be a stronger person
I need to conquer my dreams
I need to learn how to be happy
I need to learn how to revive myself

Borrowed time, tampered prime, descenigrating lapse of systems.
Taser filled opportunist lumes over sensibility. Exact knowledge of rephrased wisdom. Confiscated mishaps of vengeance paralyzing the, what if. In the midst of flavor verses favor, I prepare a table. Intense undermining of preparation, I convict thee. To serve or not to serve, the facade of the misled. The challenges exceed exhaustive state of forward movement but I stay ready. Tempting thoughts of fragmented steps so you can get ready and when you do, you stay ready!

Life has a funny way of showing you
That everything your family told you growing up
Is mostly true
Our stubbornness
Our hesitation
Our lack of paying attention
Often has us wondering
Once we get older
That the words we once heard
Now echo
As they become clearer
“You can’t please everybody”
Even when I try
I often only end up hurting myself
As a people pleaser
You fail at balancing
The very moment you don’t say yes
You are painted as such a bad person
No is definitely a part of the dictionary
But when you are so used to not saying it
It crushes someone’s spirit
Yet it feels so good
I am free to say no and not feel guilty
Not feel ashamed
Not feel the need to explain
It took a long time to get here
I’m not looking back
I deserve to own my decisions
I choose to not live with regret
I have self respect
How can I please everyone without suffering?
Simple
I can’t
I choose me
And if you can’t understand that
You are not meant to be in my life
Sorry if this offends anyone
But I’m taking my power back
I choose me first
And pleasing everyone is no longer my concern!

I would often hear people follow up a story of generational curses, uncontrolled emotions, disturbing behavior, and unimaginable situations with, “hurt people, hurt people.” I often wondered is that where the story ends? Later in life that statement would sound to me like an excuse. Same as when you hear people say “You know how they are.”

Now at 41, both statements make me cringe as I realize they are just words put together to hinder whomever that hurt person is. I once was a hurt person, unintentionally becoming every bit of the hurt I was complaining about feeling. It was a slap in the face to see that some of the things that hurt me as a child, I had recycled into my own life.

As a child, I struggled in the area of emotions, often time crying when I couldn’t understand certain feelings within me. Appearing on the outside a little off with the constant change of emotions, I found myself displaying anger when I felt vulnerable, weak, or afraid. It had become my defense until I realized I had become a very impatient parent, lashing out at my children when they expressed their true emotions.

I had become the person who didn’t take the time to listen; who was too overwhelmed to care; too quick to shut down and off and too emotionally distant to be the mother my kids needed me to be.

In 2021 I had to face the little girl in me who had thrown temper tantrums when she was hurt; and had shut down when she couldn’t probably process her emotions. I never took the time to be understanding of others when needed. I saw the hurt in my kids’ eyes for the first time and felt what my hurt was doing to them and I knew then they deserved the best version of me, not the generational curses. It was at that moment that I decided that if hurt people could hurt people, HEALED people could HEAL people and I’ve been on the journey ever since.

Dear Friend,

When we hear the word “motto”, we tend to imagine one of two things: either a cliché phrase full of platitudes and empty of meaning, or a lofty ideal too far out of reach. While other people talked about their mottos, I resisted living by one for most of my life. Doing so seemed unoriginal and unrealistic until inspiration struck in the most unlikely place.

The closest thing I have to a motto is a quote by Maya Angelou. “What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.”

I saw that quote for the first time in eighth grade English class. The teacher had us read a section from one of Maya Angelou’s books, an oddly progressive choice for a school in the South in the early 2000s. I remember being fascinated by the story as my classmates took turns reading aloud, but it was that quote that really struck a chord with me. At the time, I was a disabled nerdy kid from a low income family, a prime target for bullies; all of which were completely valid reasons to complain. I never considered how complaining could be a bad thing until I read that quote, but although it made me think, it would be several years until its meaning fully resonated with me.

By late 2010, I’d lost my father and any hope of leading a normal life. I was a young adult suddenly tasked with supporting myself and my mother on a single disability check of about $900 each month. My mother, to put it bluntly, lost her mind when she lost her husband. She barely came out of her room. She didn’t want to eat or bathe, and she refused to do housework or interact with the outside world. The mother who’d always supported me was gone, too wrapped up in her own grief to notice mine.

I had no choice but to push my own emotions aside to provide for us. As hard as it was, I wouldn’t have minded it, had it not been for my mother’s incessant complaining. Every day, I woke up to her ranting about how much she hated her life, her family, the house, the neighbors, the government… you name it, she had something negative to say about it! I tried to ignore it and carry on the best I could, but it became impossible to function in the world when I was constantly reminded of its darkness and cruelty.

Her negativity was contagious. It got so bad that I was angry all the time, and I dreaded having to interact with anyone. One day when I was a captive audience for her ranting, I had an epiphany. As her negative emotions spilled onto me, I thought, Is this how others feel when I complain? I remembered that quote from eighth grade English class, and it inspired me to make a change.

While I couldn’t change our situation or my mother’s reaction to it, I could change myself. I realized that wasn’t the type of person I wanted to be. I didn’t want to suck the joy out of others’ lives; I didn’t want to be the reason someone else fears the world. So I promised myself I’d never do what my mother did. Whatever horrible thing the world threw at me, I would face it on my own and not let it affect others. My problems shouldn’t have to be anyone else’s.

That is not to say my life has been all sunshine and rainbows since then. No, far from it! I have setbacks and down moments just like anyone else. Anyone who says they don’t have those moments is lying to you, and toxic positivity can be every bit as damaging as constant negativity.

As I grow older and hopefully wiser, my understanding of my motto quote grows too. I don’t think the message of “don’t complain” is about ignoring the negative moments in life; it’s about what you do with that negativity. It’s okay to feel down sometimes. It’s not okay to stay down forever, and it’s definitely not okay to drag others down with you.

The next time you hit a low point, I hope you’ll remember that quote and be inspired like I was. Whatever obstacles you face, I hope you find a way to move forward and create something good from it. Good luck and best wishes!

My worn hands feather away the curtain of fog, a forgotten smile hides behind the despair left within me after I was released from the hold of my abusive partner. Invisible scars cover my soul from years of turmoil. My body defeated with exhaustion takes one last step before collapsing into a field of fireflies. A sense of relief pervades my subconscious as I slip into a dream. My past of havoc vanishes into the shadows behind me, presenting a trail of glimmering hope ahead of me. The trail is lined with sparkles of suppressed dreams, frozen ambitions, lost relationships and security. The sky opens above me reflecting a shining glow of my concealed spirit.

Distant chatter awakens me as I see a hand reach down to raise me up. I am surrounded by those that watched my uninhibited spirit confiscated by the mercy of my abuser’s control. A smile unearths from the depth of my heart. I am lifted up as sparkles drop off of my new spirit into the shadow of my past molded into the ground beneath my feet. Wherever I may go, my weightless footprints filled with sparkle and shine replaces the despaired memories fading into my past.

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exist, that is all.” – Oscar Wilde
To exist, to have an objective reality, I can just stand and wait.
But to live, what does it truly mean? Spending my days waiting for the time to pass, for the clock tick to be the voice that rules over my head? Most of my life was a waiting game to get older and be able to live, but am I living if I spend my days waiting? What am I worried about other than my time is being wasted?
I decided to start living, truly living. I moved across the country to pursue a dream. Where this dream will take me is only but a risk, a risk so big is it even worth living through? Well, I guess that’s the point, isn’t it? If taking that risk is my way of living then I’d struggle every day rather than existing in a state of comfort. I always thought that living was scary, but that’s the beauty. Taking a risk, doing something out of a daily routine just because it may make you or someone else happy. The clock tick in our heads are at different paces, we may as well try to live. Embracing ourselves and others, loving ourselves and others, truly being ourselves, and allowing others to be themselves.
That’s living.

There are so many good quotes out there, but instead of picking just one, I’m fond of two mottos since they kind of go hand-in-hand:

“Never a dull moment!” and “Boredom is never allowed!”

I would like to take credit for either one but that is not possible. I can’t even remember where I first heard them…. I know I heard them as a teenager. Before anyone picks on me with these two by saying “Well that’s cheesy,” give me a few minutes to hear me out:

We can ALL remember more than one time as a child when we whined, “I’m bored!” Boredom is defined as being uninterested in what you’re doing. It’s not just having that phase as a kid or a teen. It follows us into adulthood. Sometimes, it can become a sad sight as it forms into a bad habit. Even if we were to spend all our free time on social media, we would still find ourselves bored or empty. I feel like boredom steals away the few minutes of being alive, being excited, being creative, being helpful, and enjoying the small hobbies that you can’t stop thinking about doing.

So, what to do with boredom? I remember someone recommended serving and helping others. It can be chores for the tired parent. It can be yard work for the old lady up the street. It can be babysitting the kids for the single mom. It can be tutoring for students struggling behind. It can be doing charity work, shelters, or fundraising. Also, that same person said, “If you’re bored, you’re selfish.” It’s kind of a joke, but also quite true. Whether helping someone or getting back into the hobby you missed so much, there is no room for boredom. It’s even become a home rule in my life.

Maybe we’ve even been to the one place we said was dull, the meeting is dull, or the exact moment is dull. Dull is lacking excitement or lack of interest—-goes well with boredom. Dull is plain, gloomy gray. Sometimes it becomes the word in the mind that tells us, “This sucks.” Let me ask you: does it have to be dull?

Not everything in life has to be dull. For example, there were some quiet days when at work. Not many customers. All shelves have been dusted. The numbers have been counted. Everything is checked, double-checked, and triple-checked. So how do I pass the time? When having a standing job, I danced to the music. I didn’t care if I was being watched, it actually entertained other coworkers watching me dance till they found themselves dancing too. It wasn’t like full-blown crazy party time. I just wouldn’t allow dullness to kick in. It was an opportunity to enjoy the moment.

Finding the doors of the sweet things of life, and shutting the doors of boredom and dullness, will bring pure joy if you allow it. It can be found in your job. It can be found in your free time, at home, with your family and friends, anywhere. You don’t have to wait for the opportunity, make and be the opportunity. I don’t consider myself smart. But I do know that life is short, and a lot of wasted time is being flushed away. We need to make room for problem-solving. Take time to enjoy time with others. Carry the torch in helping the communities. Find and do the small steps. It will lead to big steps, making a difference in our lives, and in others.