Is it okay
if I lay down?
I am feeling tired
I cannot explain
It’s what I feel

Making bodies
all day and night
Not gracefully
I embrace each moment
and yet it drains me

What does it look like
if I lay down?
Will I be baring
all my weakness
for everyone to see?

I will love in myself, now
that you’re not here,
all the little thi…read more

A poem for the new life I am bringing into the world in 2024.

I can’t wait to meet you
Bright new life
clothed in vernix,
hair styled by nature,
sharing my every feature
as I learn to love them all
through you

When my body
can no longer hold you,
I will bring to life
the sun of early summer
drying all the rain
making everything green
and w…read more

I miss your arms
I could not feel them
They were never for me
Mine stretch out longer
It only made me stronger
Now I understand why you believe-
it’s easier

In my mind
my head is resting
on your legs
But I don’t know you that way-
the way I would like to
when I need comfort to fall asleep
and when I don’t know what to believe
to make it easier

It is strange to think
that I will never again
smoke a cigarette
for as long as you
and I live

Does the universe
expand?
Or do we just
push it to its
limitlessness?

Already I feel
so unworthy of you
You are an angel
but I am no god

Maybe I will be better-
benevolent and unenvious
I would be anything
for you

It’s strange to think
that I c…read more

Eat your shame
It doesn’t go away
Regurgitate
like you’re overweight
You need more meat
on your body to hate

She promised to suck him off
in the parking lot
for her drink of choice
She was far too young
for either one
but had nothing left to lose

Swallow your pride
It doesn’t go down easy
Don’t let him see you
cringe in disgust
You need mo…read more

****trigger warning: explicit mention of sexual violence****

In response to events surrounding a recent high profile trial.

You give your seal of approval
He’s such a good guy
He was a good friend to me

You bring up the wife and child
He keeps them safe
from all the dangerous men

You’re the face of a cause
but you mustn’t believe it at…read more

He told me his favorite features of mine are the people pleasing characteristics-
to which I replied, “do you really not understand how awful that is?”
And maybe it’s not all bad
But when you give because you know
it will all be taken from you anyways
is it really giving?
How am I supposed to feel hearing
the defense mechanism I’ve been fightin…read more

You say, “I’ll see you in an hour”
Oh, so soon I fall devoured?
All is fair,
and I knew,
love had lost its power

“Oh, promise me you will never tell another”
“I promise this will never happen again”
“Now take me like your scarlet letter
and keep me at the seam of your hem”

It was your bones
against mine
not skin to skin
It was your bones
agains…read more

~getting help is traumatic~

Wake up in an unfamiliar cold bed
Warm blanket, back exposed
Not sure how you got there-
but you did it to yourself

Fighting tubes- back to sleep
You only wanted to apologize
They will never understand
And again- you never want to wake up

Rushed back into full consciousness
No compress for your bruised arms
Honesty…read more