Long Ago
I wrote a poem
I titled it ‘My Lovely Dream’
It spoke of tears that fell from me
After life was ripped from womb
And I was told
I would never have my life’s dream
But….
As the world shut Down
A mystery solved
Missing puzzle piece found
You were living
Growing inside of me
Tina Marie
Told so many times
A Mother – A Mommy
I would Never Be
My Sweet First Born Son
You Have Became
My Loveliest Dream

One message I have for every person in the world is don’t take life for granted because tomorrow isn’t promised anything can happen to yourself or your loved one. I for one took life for granted and I lost my soul pet, you may ask what you mean by that well If I didn’t go out as much to be with friends or be busy with work and had taken care of my Mitsu aka my black cat he would have still been here with me and not get sick too easily and quickly. One thing I regret is not taking him to the doctor’s first thing instead I waited until he got worse, he was always meowing at night in pain and I always thought he wanted attention, but he was just in pain I think about how I failed as a cat mom because I couldn’t do much at first but overall, I loved and cared for my Mitsu he knew that because everyone abandoned him, abused him, locked him in cages but with me he was free to do whatever and he was happy. I remember every morning he would come into my room by opening the door with his head and get on top of the bed waiting for my mom to give me my breakfast which was tea and biscuits and Mitsu waited for my mom to give him biscuits and once she did, Mitsu ate all the biscuit he could. All the memories I have of Mitsu are blessings I’m glad that I could share my life with him, and that he could share his love and commitment with me, he showed me a pet’s love is pure and more trustworthy than a person’s love because a pet is more loyal than certain people. My message to everyone in the world is don’t life for granted because life isn’t promised tomorrow, life is precious and people and pets are also precious I took life for granted and lost my Mitsu but God gave me another chance on make things right with now my Mocha aka my black kitten spending lots of time with him, taking care of him and making my Mitsu proud from heaven.

Three times I’ve prayed over a vision You, the Lord of hosts, have shown
First You said “trust Me” second “just be” third You said, “you’re not. I am. Just sit back and be amazed at what I’m going to do.”
And however “it” is to be, I have not a clue…
But You said I was going to Russia, when others told me the idea I should abort
Because they were leaving in two weeks, and I had not a passport
Yet we were all baffled when it came in a week and a half.
Or when You said I was going to the Middle East
But as to how, an idea I had not in the least
Only to sit in a church, with the specific destination You said on the screen
And the pastor reading genesis 12:1, “Get out of your country, from your family
and from your father’s house,
To a land that I will show you.”
Therefore I knew, You mean what You mean
Only to visit another church, for a man to introduce me to a woman
She said they were leaving for there in three weeks
But in my spirit, I knew it was the journey I was to take
And my job, security, and life I was ready to forsake
Or when I awoke, and You said Guatemala while I was still in a daze
No money, no means, but a trust in Your ways
Only for people You touched to give me money to go, and to buy the ticket for my plane
Or how I still find it insane
How You’ve sent me back three times to the desert sands
Without a dollar leaving my hands
Downtrodden and feeling down on my luck
Praying because I needed to find a new truck
But You already know the needs that I have before I ask
And I found myself basking in Your glory with a huge grin
When I test drove a truck with a sermon on the radio and my name in the VIN
Thinking back to when my book I knew not how to publish
Yet You sent a long lost friend, who randomly told me how to fulfill my wish
But that is not all
For You care about the big things, but also the small
Like when I needed stove top cleaner
And not a soul on this earth knew but You…
The joyful demeanor I had when I came home to find it hanging from my door
I could go on, for You’ve done so much more
But as part of my story has been unfurled
The message I wish to share with the world
Is just what the Lord said… “trust Me.” And “just be.”

Our purpose in life isn’t random
Our dreams are made from the elements of
Our soul
Our passions
Our experiences
Our God given gifts

My dream to become a Mother has been in my bones since before I can remember
But it isn’t just biology
My dream was built on my infinite capacity for love
It was built on my naturally nurturing soul
It was built on my caring nature
And compassion I hold for all
The grit I have to persevere in hard times
And the confidence in myself to tenderly raise a human
In this world, that while beautiful, is not without cruelty and suffering
A human who could meet that world both strength
And a heart for love, too

I was in a marriage
That was akin to two puzzle pieces forcing themselves to fit
That made me feel alone, even when in the same room
And as years passed – so did our shared dream of parenthood
He no longer desired children, with me at least
Nothing crushes a soul more than a broken dream
And I questioned; how will I move past this
How will I ever be blessed enough to have a love required
To make my dream a reality

But our soul’s desires don’t fade
I managed the courage to leave
No matter how shaky I was packing those bags
And calling that lawyer
And going on dates: something I never thought I would ever do again

To my surprise
The love I’d been seeking for a decade
Was waiting all along
And the surprise of a lifetime
Turned into my dream of a lifetime
As I type this, watching my little miracle fast asleep
My sonshine will rise again this morning
The light of my dream sitting right in front of me
Will never cease to amaze me

A childish dream…
A simplistic scheme…
To be not a man but a myth, or rather a man who doesn’t exist
A silly desire that continued to persist
But as to how to pursue, I had not a clue
Until I realized, I’m the point in which two bloodlines converge
And I loved the way their names sounded when merged
Thus Donald M. Clyde was born
To hide myself, he was my mask worn
Under his guise I started to write
And as people responded, my heart was full of delight
Until I started to write under my God given name
Only to see life play a sick little game
The bitter irony of using a pseudonym…
To see people not like me, as how they loved him
And thus I’ve found myself taking up his mantle again
And see myself as a man who’s been enslaved by his pen
Just wishing that the world would know my name’s….

I’ve had my share of dreams and goals
throughout this skyward climb—
have hustled, slaved, and sold my soul
at least five thousand times—

all rocket fuel injection founts,
plans realized or not;
ascension parted clouds of doubt
for me, the astronaut.

I soared past childhood fantasy,
explored familial moons,
then looped a distant star or three—
my focus all-consumed—

in search of true enlightenment
to sate the blackest hole;
event horizon’s discontent
demanded full control—

devouring each new career,
each studied course with verve;
I never dared to interfere,
rode stardust’s shimmer surf

until my suit was frayed and dull,
my helmet webbed and chipped;
the time had come: a glowing hull
endured re-entry’s trip.

Adventures through the universe,
though shaping, took a toll;
when fragile bones touched down on Earth,
they garnered strength from scrolls—

the very scrolls I’d long outrun,
entranced by distant skies,
so sure of fate beyond the sun—
a poet in disguise.

What did you want to be when you grew up? A doctor? An astronaut? Maybe a police officer? When I was little, I always said I wanted to be a “typer girl” or a pediatric nurse. But, as I grew older, I realized that I really just wanted to be myself. I was always bullied and gossiped about in school whenever I stuttered during prayer before lunch or when my best friend and I had a secret handshake or when I said I love the Titanic (1997) film. From the music I love to sing to the company I keep, someone always had something to say about it. But, after so long, I learned to ignore those who didn’t like the real me and just focused on those who loved me for me. My advice to is: JUST BE YOU! I always introduce myself as a proudly weird person because I would rather just be myself than someone I’m not. So just remember, always be yourself and don’t ever let anyone tell you any different!

As a child, I went so mild-to the Best School in the world
Southeast Elementry, Kindergarden was plenty-even grade 3 had a sweet girl.
Poor with nothing else, but was so happy-most everyone had such cool stuff.
Free to learn Mr. and Mrs. alphabet-and the menu at lunch was so much!
So I learned how to put those letters together, and write my heart so young
And never thought I’d see the day-I’d be writing from “The Unsealed” Love!
The kids then at School, I remember so cool-how they all truly was
Now yrs. gone by, they still are cool-though life makes me cry from above!
Was not fair for them, nor me, nor any-how things turned out as they did,
Though tradgety so far makes many alarmed-Adults reap the good sown as kids.
So all to find, all reap some good-at different levels, experiance normally would
Take the cons with the pros-could of been a prep, but had to be a hood.
Went so fast, I tried like crazy-to keep my grand childhood free…
But was taken soon, as a swift blast-so God gave Grace to me!!!
By grade 6 I was sick of the sticks, where my Dad moved us all out so-
Therefore I took and ran away-and ran so mad, everywhere I did go!
Drunk and high all the time-every reality I had to escape
My lost soul out of control-so long my madness, lived in the hate.
But this is not about, how I dropped out-of the Southeast Pirates School
It’s about how I wanted all along-again to be so happy and cool 🙂
More yrs. gone by, deeply stuck in pride-But bottomed desire comply,
To the time I wished I could be-the such happy kid I thought to hide.
Then from the Best School in the world, to the school of streets’ hard knocks-
I waited, and waited, and waited a lot…Until by God I was finally caught!
Then He took me to the place-And enrolled me in the School of Amazing Grace!
Now by the faith of my inner child-He took me off trial-For Jesus to pay my fair!
And I tell you all the while-come to find out, He really always did care!!! 🙂
October 18th, a life-changer indeed, He made this broken man complete-
And showed me the way to jump in the hole, and guide the others out of defeat!
Yes, I graduated and He gave to me-Eternal Life when I was dead…
Now everyday is made brand new-in the School of God’s Grace Again!!! 🙂

Yes, Dear world, on His time-He made my dream come true!!! 🙂

*PRAISE HIM*