I love you
in the future, present, and past
You were my first love
and you will be my last
I love you deeply and truly
Like no one else will
If you were someone else
I’d love you still
I love how beautiful you are
I love how sweet you smell
I love your soft touch
And the stories you tell
I love everything you do
And I love what I see
I love that you’re you
I love that you’re me

Dear Me,

I started this by looking up what love is. As we know it’s a quirk of ours to always have the right words with the right meanings. Yet, I stopped halfway through my inquiry right before being sucked into the argument; if love is a physical or an emotional state.

I stopped because I felt I didn’t need anyone else’s theories, ideologies, or philosophies to express why I love you.

You challenge me.

Everyday I wake up and I am invigorated by your need to know things — sometimes useful and other times just because.

I catch myself smiling when you take out your phone to search for the answer to anything that you come across that you don’t understand. Living with you is like being in a classroom with new lessons every minute. I say every minute because truly that is how it works with you. You love trying to understand how things work. All things if you could that’s why it’s hard to focus. Everything is attractive to our curiosity but we’re so limited in our time.

The human dilemma of time is another one of your favorite topics to stay up late and journal about.

I love your journals. You have a million of them, all decorated with the outline of your heart and mind —your process for trying to get them to understand each other.

I am captivated by the unraveling of you. The total abandonment of masks that I have the pleasure of being witness to. You are a challenge, worthwhile.

Love Me,

Dear Unsealers, (poem entry, not a letter)

when it should have been the beating, red vessel sandwiched between my outside eyes

if it were for the before days when society was feeling abandoned

where the imposter we saw in the shadows were terrified news hosts and burnt out brethren retiring from their zoom calls

i would have have fallen further beneath the undertow

but the continued dance of shaking hands and friendly smiles made the chain of events commence

and i began to embrace it:

my lips exhale the affirmed words of safety

the stares of the narrow-minded turn into LED bulbs-

hang on… there might be something here

open-mindedness is taking off its apron, rushing to greet me at the door,
i used to get nervous having company

but i have become my own best friend

i can snuggle in safety, buckle in my seatbelt as my brain indicates to me i have permission to slow down and pump the breaks – once i have learned to drive

i can touch my 8 x 11, knowing every jagged line is a mountain, ripple, pique and valley of a memory burned through trial and error-

my oddly favorite smell, a worked-out body

the feeling of ecstasy after nailing an impromptu choreography routine, loving the expressions i feed the mirror

i can now ignore the lights getting brighter, signaling my ending is near

and sure, i am only but a human. i have always seen where i’ve faltered, lacked, detracted. but i can feel myself become something grander – like a human version of a wind-up toy

i’ve accepted my body as a vessel, an input output machine like gradeschool homework, correcting my body when i set my skin on fire-

*takes a breath*

i have eczema

i’m slowly conquering the line between conceit and self-awareness

discovered obsessive sorries are empty pockets of exoneration

i replaced apprehension for curiosity, my pulse now beating within reason as the flicker of answered questions make way

“what’s that?” is now celebrated, not mocked with disgust by the random grump on the street

i recognize myself. really.

i’ve changed “i’m so pretty” to “there you are… i’ve been looking everywhere for you.

wow. you are magnified.

here’s your handle.

now hold on tight. you’re only going up.”

Love,
Me (Meghan Dhawan)

I love myself because God is within me
That’s a love I need
The way I love and the way I breathe
God helps me love me
Helps me seek the thee
Something is apart of me you see
I am not empty
Because I am a temple
Never restless or resentful
When you feel Gods love
It’s eternity
Never forced
or played
How can I love myself
Without God being present
How can I truly tell what love is
If God didn’t say it
Can you understand what love is
If you haven’t even read it
Listen to what the Bible says about love
Because maybe we’d get it
Love is the amount of emotion that you give into something
It’s the passion
Because without love, there wouldn’t be passion for nothing
God is love
And that’s how I love myself
Even when I feel like nothing
Or have the tendency to want to be like someone else
My life is limitless
So, I will always amount to something
I can give without receiving nothing
And that’s love for me and myself
Because I know that within God’s will
I will achieve it all
With God’s love
I’ll never fall
Even if I stumble, he’ll catch me
Love me, past everything
Until I’m ready
To love myself again
Without being scary
I love myself because
God is within me
I know I am the truth seeker
And now I am ready
To show others how to love themselves
When they truly see
That they have a purpose
That’s how I truly know
I love me, some me..

Sincerely Shanavia

Dear Miss Evans,
How is that natural remedy working out for you? As per our last self-reflection, you seem to be in great spirits. I wanted to touch base and let you know that your efforts are always showing. I remember when you first got into your 20’s, self-sufficiency became second nature to you. I have a question for you, how did you beat Miss Jazmine Sullivan to picking up your feelings? Are you sure you didn’t co-write that song with her? Just kidding, but honestly though, it used to be only you and Jehovah who knew how you felt. I wanted to give you your flowers and let you know that I am PROUD that you’ve gotten better at being more emotional. Girl, I thought I would only see that side during “that time of the month”. It must be that fiancée of yours always making you smile. I see that he ALWAYS brings the best out in you and loves you dearly. Every time you talk about him you light up like a firefly. I love how much y’all make each other better. I love that he encourages you to be yourself even when you try to hide it. I remember when it was like pulling teeth to get you to express your feelings. A few times I wanted to box you because of your stubbornness. However, I love that you are honest about your apprehension of emotional expression with your soulmate. Thank you for letting him in and getting to know you.
I love your empathy for other people. I remember back in your high school days when you just got along with everybody. Cheerleaders, jocks, art lovers, nerds, heck even the quiet kids, you just seemed to have a knack for being well-rounded. I see how much you consider other people’s situations and feelings. I know it comes from a good place within yourself however, you still must remember you have feelings too. I see that you have gotten better at taking mental breaks. I’m glad that you even took up a new hobby of creative writing.
Despite not always being able to express yourself emotionally growing up, I am proud that you have found a better outlet than your comfort snacks. You know that love-hate relationship you have with bread. I see you started to lighten up on your food choices and it’s showing in your skin. You got your skin-care regimen intact and that is awesome. Plus, your natural glow suits you.
After five years of this remedy, it has shown positive results in your whole aura. I love that your relationship with Jehovah has strengthened in the past couple of years. I see you studying your bible now and again. I’ve always loved your thirst for knowledge in all aspects of life. Spiritually, it seems like you have a better understanding of the human interaction with God. I pray that you continue your journey to understanding yourself and others.
Overall, the natural remedy of self-reflection, empathy, and understanding have been the greatest part of your journey. Keep up the great work and remember to pray.
Sincerely,
Your Inner Child

I dont tell myself no anymore.
I dont fear the devil at the door
Cuz I asked the world for bread and got a stone
& I refuse to be alone
See, this is the love I show to me
The greatest form of bravery
To shine so bright that everything grows
A fountain that never ceases flow
This sunflower spirit reaches for light
An inextinguishable will to fight
& when shadows come
my face still turns for sun
Who needs many roots when your held by the sky
With energy that’s riding high
I’ve learned the art of balancing
There’s equal peace and passion inside of me
No matter how high I’ll never fall
There’s clarity in standing tall
So I don’t say no to me
I radiate self loyalty
That kind of faith is kinetic
I’ll watch it ignite you in ways that are prophetic
See now I love stones
I move through them so others can grow
Holding all the shades of me
All the shadows casting free
Groundwork- this is fuel
Soil to reach & feel through
See I’m in love with the sun
& the sun is me
& I can follow that heat with longevity
Extend that heat with loyalty
Wrap myself in shadows & shine
Cuz I don’t need more light
I dont tell myself no
I love the depths of shadow.