It’s been ten years,
Yet we still pretend.

We hold a smile,
When it’s asked for.

We do as we’re told,
Even though we hate it.

And everywhere we go,
It’s all the same.

Everywhere, we go,
It’s the same.

It’s been ten years.
We’re still pretending.

to feel my sadness
and the madness

the silence
and imbalance

to love my hatred
of my ego wasted

twisted and
unmotivated

to care,
and to continue

something new
long overdue

as a young pup
i was told many things
some i wouldn’t understand
while others i would abhor

my guardian would try their best
to teach me how to behave,
there’s a right time and place
is what they constantly say

never run away
don’t bark at night
don’t eat this or that
never ever bite anyone

over the years i had grown,
not yet fully understanding
why i would do as i am told
i only wanted to make them happy

then came a mighty storm
with a deafening echo
and enough flash
to turn night into day

my guardian was not home
and i was terrified, all alone
the wind blasted open my door
and i felt the storm coming for me

in a panic i ran away
trying to escape this dreadful storm
yet nowhere i went felt safe
so i kept running further away

eventually i ran far enough
to no longer hear rumbling
yet now, i was completely lost
and couldn’t help but to bark for help

i smelled something approaching,
with relief i ran towards them
only to be greeted by snarls
and growls of impending doom

they told me to leave,
as this was not my home
and they have their own guardian
whom they love and adore

so i ran some more
but i had grown tired & hungry
and stopped to scrounge for scraps
any piece of food i could find

i picked up on a pungent smell
coming from a nearby ditch
and against all i have been taught
i scarfed down this half rotten corpse

it didn’t take long for me to be sick
my stomach would grumble from pain
and i had to lay down to rest
at least for a few hours until daylight

when i awoke from my sleep
i was too disoriented
to have proper judgement
for what i was about to do

a human was approaching me
with a handful of treats
but i did not trust them
so i growled and lunged at them

they ran off and i ate the treat
that was dropped on the floor
i tried to go back to sleep
but i didn’t get much of a chance

another human approached me
this time without a treat
but a very shiny stick
with a loop at the end

i snarled with every step taken
and i didn’t know what to watch out for
is the stick to be used against me
or is that just a distraction?

before i could realize what happened
there was something tugging at my neck
and i was bound to the shiny stick,
slowly being dragged away into a kennel

we rode to a depressing building
and i was taken inside to a cage
i figured this was it for me
as my neighbors would soon agree

they told me their stories as i did mine
one of them said they had a similar tale
and how they have been stuck here since
which only made me further more sad

now i finally know why
i should never run away
or why i shouldn’t bark at night
and especially not to eat everything

most important of all,
i know why i shouldn’t bite
because now i am held captive
and there is no escape from here

a few days passed and i have given up
on ever being able to see my friend again
my guardian truly was taking care of me
and i missed them and their ways

and that’s when it happened
i couldn’t believe it…
the cage door opened
and they were there

my guardian came to rescue me!
i was filled with such joy
i would never disobey again
not even during a storm

brushing my hand against the coarse grain
brings back memories of yesterday
the old wood was painted white
nimbly finished with imperfections

through the frosted glass center
a soft glowing light would show
the warm compassionate touch
that lightly soothes me to sleep

i never minded the creak of the hinge
or how imprecise the handle was,
i miss it’s slanted suspension
and how you would lift to latch it

the wood that replaced it
was polished to perfection
and standardized like the rest;
no different than others of it’s kind

there was no glass i could gaze through
the knob would click with precision
however it had a surprising charm
brought by memories of passing through

i assumed that this frame
would be the last i pass through
but life had different stories
and characters to introduce

eventually i became burned out,
fatigued and growing indifferent
for the different walkways
i had been nudged into

hesitant to try something new
the lock remained sealed to the outside
yet a light filters though the cracks
slowly enticing me for more

finally i have become comfortable
with the volatile directions
and i wonder what’s the next door
that i walk through in life

“Pain is weakness leaving the body”

– Lieutenant General Lewis Burwell “Chesty” Puller

oh how my body aches
and how my mental faculties
are full of distraught,
agony and suffering

yet i hunger for more,
nothing seems to satisfy me
for as soon as i reach my peak
there’s another valley soon to follow

this push and pull of forces
has me wondering about it all
is there something i am chasing,
maybe a mirror on the wall?

regardless, i press onward
for the only way out of this world
is by facing what i dare not dream of
for even a whisper could wipe it away

this pain is simply weakness
leaving the body ever so fluidly
and i welcome it as a friend
standing alone at summer’s end

an ant would crawl on my desk
tempted by fate to seek food
and with a few crumbs in view
it scurries on with finesse

the ant would wonder and ponder
what to do and how to go about
bringing home this tasty treat
to share with those without

there are many ways to take
and several paths to avoid
such as the old spider’s lair
lurking around the corner

despite the ant’s careful planning
it remained unaware of my presence
and with a swift pressure of my thumb
it was relieved of it’s existence

the ant was sad for it tried it’s best
yet no amount of planning would help
for there are always higher forces
who are on a much different quest