Dear Self,

It is not often that we take time away from the sometimes uncontrollable spiral that is our life to think about the things that we are grateful for within it.
And, now that I’ve taken time to think about it, I’ve come to the realization that most people aren’t grateful until they are given a reason to be.
Maybe it’s my unhealthy obsessions with psychology and horror speaking, but he wasn’t entirely wrong in his thinking.
People who have been in car accidents tend to be more grateful for life than people whose lives have never been threatened.

Maybe that’s off-topic.
What am I GRATEFUL for?

I suppose I’m grateful for the interdependence of humans and trees.
People don’t really think about small things such as these.
I’m grateful for the way the wind blows through the leaves, and the way my son hugs me before he leaves.

You know what?

I’m grateful for life. My life. As it is now.

Just last year, my mental health was depleting. My fiancé of seven years was facing several years in prison, and I’d lost my mind along with him. I remember how bad things got.

Moment of silence to a dark past that led to a brighter future.

Maybe I could have shared a story, but I’ve just been in deep thought. What am I grateful for?

Everything. I remember having nothing like it was yesterday. I remember praying for something to happen any day. I remember hoping that I could find a way. I remember.

So I’m grateful for every breath and every stomach growl. I’m grateful for feeling sick and smelling something foul.

Things that people don’t think about. Things that people can’t do.

I’m grateful for everything because I remember when I didn’t have anything.

Love, Self