Briskly shuffling my feet, brushing off the chill of the morning air. Everyone piling into the car which had been packed the night before. Sun hasn’t even risen, and we must remain on schedule. Arriving late, we cannot do, our flight will not delay. An hour’s drive to arrive, finally we made it. Finding a parking space, easy, but why am breezing by the loading dock for the second time? Check in bags, boarding pass, on to the next line. TSA, put that away, no water bottles getting by.

Done and done, now we await our plane to arrive. I’ve never flown before and for my children, bravery will I perform. Another line, but this time onto the plane we’ll ascend. Down the small hallway, I see the small entry, leading into a compact space. The engines rave and the tires roar. Into the sky, we lift, up, up, we soar, turn, then we shift. Below my feet there is no surface only streams of influx, keeping this tin can afloat. Turbulent tumults rattle my seat, but the fear I thought I’d have, was nowhere to be seen. This challenge I carried all my life must now proclaim its defeat.

The first descent lays over in Orlando; sunshine and a warm breeze. Our second descent brings us to paradise, our long-awaited event. A roar of applause washes over the passengers, and beautiful song over the intercom. A song that rings out in my heart and from my mind the words have never departed, “Yo te quiero Puerto Rico, yo te quiero Puerto Rico.” Departing at a fast pace, I make my way to the baggage carousel. I break into a Sprint eager to make your acquaintance. When I finally laid eyes on you, my contentment I did not hide. “Bienvenido a Puerto Rico,” your words dressed as fancy invitations. Bystanders stare as our affections overflow proven by shrieks and squeals.

Finally, we made it, can’t believe we’re all here. I’m standing in the place I thought I’d never see. The climate is a major change. The air warm, thick, and heavy. It sticks to me as if I’ve just been layered in sweet candy. The night sky and the beautiful landscape dazzle as my eyes dance from one side to the other. So many things to see and everything I want to discover. The homes sprinkle the mountain sides as colorful as the rainbow. Each neighbor a different flavor, though our dwelling was my favorite one of all. La Casita Amarilla, even more beautiful than the pictures told. Your face is bright and not ashamed. You’re small but very bold. Luscious green grass surrounds your exterior, beautiful mountain ranges paint the background. In the dark, it is to me, that the Coqui sings, while in the hammock to and frow I softly swing. The sun shines bright, rising early to give light, like a kiss, it also offers its warmth generously, just like an embrace. The rain comes down with the beautiful sound shhhhhhhhhhhh, it calls me from my sleep. This extravagant curtain on every side, glistening, it surrounds me, from heaven to the earth coming down, bowing at my feet.

I don’t feel like a visitor, this is the place that I am meant to be. The people are kind, smiling as you pass. A gentle nod, a Buen Dia, along with Buen provecho as you prepare to feast. The streets are full of music. The Bachata a consistent bidding. The food has made me smile. The ocean has captured my tears. My shoes are dusted with sand and seashells have my pockets full. I’ve been allowed to place my hands on family I haven’t seen in a year or more. This island has brought so much joy, enough for me to store.

I couldn’t help but shed a tear and let it wash away with the swell. The thought of leaving you behind, this story I don’t want to tell. Every year we come together sharing our day of birth. Crossing the ocean, for you, I came in honor of our day. May we both live to see it this is something that I pray for. My best friend, the girl with the same face, my lifelong playmate, my twin. Being this far away from you is a challenge proven. The love we have for one another no one can ever ruin.

As I pack my bags, I bid farewell to this Island that has been so kind. The hardest thing to leave here is you girl, my silent communicator, the reader of my mind. I take my seat, and my heart breaks. I couldn’t keep it in. Bye for now, best friend, I can’t wait to see you again. Long layovers finally bring us home to Oklahoma. The cold breeze welcomes as the emptiness makes its grip. The cold night air whips around, whispering in my ear. Already I miss you and there’s no way to make you appear. 2,232 miles away My heart now resides. I swapped it in exchange for the one I now clutch on a key chain. The chill makes me pull my jacket closer. The breeze of blue surrounds, but a warm glow is left in my heart, more than enough to warm me.

Disclaimer:
This is a warm drink, sip slowly.
Appreciate the notes hidden within the ingredients.

Hey, You…or shall I say Me?

In correspondence with Myself, I offer this Memoir.
The singing of an unsung dedication.
Merits to You; I declare to also be Me.

I’d like to open this letter of appreciation, connect various clues,
While Journeying amidst the gratitude.

You accepted a mission, the lively hood of enduring,
As if it were some kind of trend.

Here in this place, I attach my fist pin, on the day the bronco ride of your life began.

Beyond 4lbs. and 11 oz, You prevailed,
Eluding the proclamation to be “the weaker twin.”
From Struggling to live, to living to defend.
You stood up for Her. Your other half from the womb, Your best friend.

CHEERS!
To making laughter the language I deeply comprehend.
A Smile from ear to ear is always a Means to soothe, express delight, and to amend.

Full is my heart!
Melodies escape the chamber guarded by Your lips.
Melodies made to worship, mourn, and to uplift.

“Hear Hear,”
To Your wanting of more each day.
Reaching higher is a gift. Allow Yourself to imagine, to dream, and occasion to drift.

I concur
Desiring discovery, You inquire with persistence, uncovering one thing and another.

Prompted by a basic, “What if?”

I thank You for being the person that those leaning on You can depend.

Standing Ovation, BRAVO!
You offer presentation of Yourself unapologetically. Classy, Brassy, and Tiff.
Shamelessly portraying yourself, unaware of how to be anyone else.

Much oblige
Clinging on to The Most High,
Resting on assurance of a VICTORIOUS WIN He promised to provide!

Now, Concerning the dreams You were unable to apprehend.

I sigh at the thought of you being given unto love.
A devoted characteristic of You;
Even when they treasured it with the underside of their shoe.

PERMISSION GRANTED
Relieve the reservoir.
Release built up pressure,
Allow the dams to overflow.
Rushing down the mural of your face.
Liberate the pain residing deep within.
Mourn those No longer counted to be a friend.

You chose life when poisonous thoughts lusted for an end.
For this I thank you Most of all, you didn’t bend.

I salute Your courage
Being fluid when things got stiff.
You came out swinging. Never considering,
against the wall Your back would be pinned.
deemed unable to recognize the future you had planned.

LOOK AT YOU!
Picking up the pieces and creating a new outlook;
Although the image held up before You had shattered when shook.
You persevered Searching for a line of silver, covered in soot.

CONGRATULATIONS!
No looking back
Once the foot met the pavement, that was that.
Bravery made room for love again this time it fluttered, lingered, and did transcend.
This Love Granted strength,
In turn, advancing Me beyond barriers placed by those who hardly dare to dream.
You have become Immune to the projections of doubt and self-limitations.
Heroically we display our talents
Ever pursuing of The Summit, You were said to ONLY “hope” to reach.

You REFUSED collapse under pressure,
RELUCTANT to buckle,
RELYING firmly on what You believe.

When Deterioration was Determined to Dim my Light.
You were Indestructible, Thank you,
I know you’ve had many rough nights.

I Wish I had the power to step into a memory
Giving appeal to Deja Vu
I’d Place my hand upon your shoulder
Illuminating the illusion that had trapped you

Although adverse,
Possibilities may yet be obtained.
You are a Beacon of inspiration to Me, the future of You.
Thank You for holding Memories as passwords, that unlock the secrets of this constructed identity.

I RAISE A GLASS!!!
Even though the experience tasted sour, I applaud You for making the attempt.
I must say we aren’t half bad considering the story we have lived.
So Here’s to learning from the past, mistakes are the Alma Mater.

as a young pup
i was told many things
some i wouldn’t understand
while others i would abhor

my guardian would try their best
to teach me how to behave,
there’s a right time and place
is what they constantly say

never run away
don’t bark at night
don’t eat this or that
never ever bite anyone

over the years i had grown,
not yet fully understanding
why i would do as i am told
i only wanted to make them happy

then came a mighty storm
with a deafening echo
and enough flash
to turn night into day

my guardian was not home
and i was terrified, all alone
the wind blasted open my door
and i felt the storm coming for me

in a panic i ran away
trying to escape this dreadful storm
yet nowhere i went felt safe
so i kept running further away

eventually i ran far enough
to no longer hear rumbling
yet now, i was completely lost
and couldn’t help but to bark for help

i smelled something approaching,
with relief i ran towards them
only to be greeted by snarls
and growls of impending doom

they told me to leave,
as this was not my home
and they have their own guardian
whom they love and adore

so i ran some more
but i had grown tired & hungry
and stopped to scrounge for scraps
any piece of food i could find

i picked up on a pungent smell
coming from a nearby ditch
and against all i have been taught
i scarfed down this half rotten corpse

it didn’t take long for me to be sick
my stomach would grumble from pain
and i had to lay down to rest
at least for a few hours until daylight

when i awoke from my sleep
i was too disoriented
to have proper judgement
for what i was about to do

a human was approaching me
with a handful of treats
but i did not trust them
so i growled and lunged at them

they ran off and i ate the treat
that was dropped on the floor
i tried to go back to sleep
but i didn’t get much of a chance

another human approached me
this time without a treat
but a very shiny stick
with a loop at the end

i snarled with every step taken
and i didn’t know what to watch out for
is the stick to be used against me
or is that just a distraction?

before i could realize what happened
there was something tugging at my neck
and i was bound to the shiny stick,
slowly being dragged away into a kennel

we rode to a depressing building
and i was taken inside to a cage
i figured this was it for me
as my neighbors would soon agree

they told me their stories as i did mine
one of them said they had a similar tale
and how they have been stuck here since
which only made me further more sad

now i finally know why
i should never run away
or why i shouldn’t bark at night
and especially not to eat everything

most important of all,
i know why i shouldn’t bite
because now i am held captive
and there is no escape from here

a few days passed and i have given up
on ever being able to see my friend again
my guardian truly was taking care of me
and i missed them and their ways

and that’s when it happened
i couldn’t believe it…
the cage door opened
and they were there

my guardian came to rescue me!
i was filled with such joy
i would never disobey again
not even during a storm

brushing my hand against the coarse grain
brings back memories of yesterday
the old wood was painted white
nimbly finished with imperfections

through the frosted glass center
a soft glowing light would show
the warm compassionate touch
that lightly soothes me to sleep

i never minded the creak of the hinge
or how imprecise the handle was,
i miss it’s slanted suspension
and how you would lift to latch it

the wood that replaced it
was polished to perfection
and standardized like the rest;
no different than others of it’s kind

there was no glass i could gaze through
the knob would click with precision
however it had a surprising charm
brought by memories of passing through

i assumed that this frame
would be the last i pass through
but life had different stories
and characters to introduce

eventually i became burned out,
fatigued and growing indifferent
for the different walkways
i had been nudged into

hesitant to try something new
the lock remained sealed to the outside
yet a light filters though the cracks
slowly enticing me for more

finally i have become comfortable
with the volatile directions
and i wonder what’s the next door
that i walk through in life

“Pain is weakness leaving the body”

– Lieutenant General Lewis Burwell “Chesty” Puller

oh how my body aches
and how my mental faculties
are full of distraught,
agony and suffering

yet i hunger for more,
nothing seems to satisfy me
for as soon as i reach my peak
there’s another valley soon to follow

this push and pull of forces
has me wondering about it all
is there something i am chasing,
maybe a mirror on the wall?

regardless, i press onward
for the only way out of this world
is by facing what i dare not dream of
for even a whisper could wipe it away

this pain is simply weakness
leaving the body ever so fluidly
and i welcome it as a friend
standing alone at summer’s end

an ant would crawl on my desk
tempted by fate to seek food
and with a few crumbs in view
it scurries on with finesse

the ant would wonder and ponder
what to do and how to go about
bringing home this tasty treat
to share with those without

there are many ways to take
and several paths to avoid
such as the old spider’s lair
lurking around the corner

despite the ant’s careful planning
it remained unaware of my presence
and with a swift pressure of my thumb
it was relieved of it’s existence

the ant was sad for it tried it’s best
yet no amount of planning would help
for there are always higher forces
who are on a much different quest

i’d gaze upon the nightsky
watching stars streak on by

i’d toss a few coins
into elegant fountains

i was doing all that
with one thing in mind

a wish that i would cherish
if it would ever come true

but the stars would fade
and day would come

the coins would blend in
along with the other ones

i thought it wasn’t true
maybe it wasn’t meant to be

and now, i no longer wish
i don’t need to wish
not anymore

for i have you
and i’m thankful
that my wish came true

a bird flutters into view
resting upon my windowsill
its colors so entrancing,
shades of red and blue

the radio starts playing
an old familiar tune
getting lost in the melody
is something that i do

i can be anywhere
and everywhere that i go
the beauty of this world
has a marvelous glow

i wish i could tell you
the things you need to do
i wish i could show you
how to dance like we would

but you already know that
so there’s not much to say
just relax, be a diplomat
and maybe you will someday