He said!!! She said!

He said my will be done!
She said New Edition of a Magazine.
He said my will be done!

He said my will be done.
She said Relaunch podcast!
He said my will be done.

He said my will be done!
She said Release my Memoir.
He said my will be done!

He said my will be done.
She said go on Empowerment Tours!
He said my will be done.

He said my will be done!
She said record my audio books.
He said my will be done!

She said I want to do my best!!!
She said I will be Obedient!!!
She said I will walk in my Purpose!!!

He said my will be done, 2025!!!
He said my will be done, Charmaine!!!
He said my will be done Forever!!!

January 2023:
I committed myself
to writing
one poem
every day.

I shared them with others,
competed in slams,
won cash prizes,
got published,
and foolishly felt
my dreams of becoming
a Poet
had been realized.

January 2024:
I only half-recommitted
to trying again—
because
creativity is hard
when drowning in
the uninspiration
of happiness,
of love,
of peace of mind;
because
is it even possible
to create art
without my addictions,
without my anxieties,
without the Sisyphean effort
of figuring out:
Who Am I?

Days…

Weeks…

Months…

Nothingness,
resulting in
a new bout
of paranoia.

Seeking out
talk therapy,
and cognitive behavioral therapy,
and pharmaceutical therapy,
I had forsaken my greatest remedy.

January 2025:
I now stand steady
in a new resolve
to practice preaching
what I teach.

So I resolve myself
to the adventure of
creation without conformation,
without validation,
without enterprise
or end result.

I resolve myself
to myself,
to the pen,
to the poetry,
to fulfill the need
that bubbles up inside
to spew forth the words
that form from the fountain
of my inner-most foundations
as a salve,
as salvation
for my very soul.

This time, for 2025,
I’m bold enough to dream
and water the seeds
I’ve been planting for 27 years.

I’ll make a faultless plan,
calibrate the stars to align again and again
like I’ve been hoping for.

I’ll make that meal plan, hit the gym, and drink less
because everyone told me I can, until I regress
and think of her again.

I’ll write that novel that I’ve sworn I’d finish,
half sprouted and waiting on ideas to flourish
out of my overworked and overwhelmed heart.

This time, for 2025,
I’ll keep my house clean
for all of the people that I hope can see
a sign of life thriving.

I’ll keep a budget
and stop saying “screw it”
when I need a fix just to calm down for a moment.

I’ll make that record full of screaming and singing
over an acoustic guitar, dreaming
of what love I’ve gained and lost so suddenly.

This time, for 2025,
2024 has kissed us goodbye,
the hurt and the triumph coincide
as a juxtaposition for growth.

forty-five pounds of me has already fallen off
but I still want more, as if I have not
given myself permission to acknowledge my own victories.

I will no longer live life in cliche and trope
that everyone cyclically promises and fails on a new year; in 2025 I can see that hope
is the recognition of seeds planted, no matter how long it takes the trees to grow.

This time, for 2025,
I’m bold enough to hope,
bold enough to dream
and water the seeds
I’ve been planting for 27 years.

Dear 2025,
I need to survive!
I need to thrive!
I need to live!
I need to forgive!
I need give!

Little am I privy to what the future holds.
My dreams and plans are fairytales until the tales are told.

I hope for adventure, I hope for growth.
That I heal my growing pains with both.

When I’m ready to love again,
I’ll be as myself as I’ve ever been.

I know the future will come with hurts,
That healing hearts bring out the worst.

If the aches are just too much to bear,
I’ll have my people standing there.

I’ll learn my burdens can be set down,
I’ll grow my strength and wear my crown.

And when this year is finally done,
That I’ll be ready for another one.

The dawn of a year, so bold, so bright,
A canvas of dreams bathed in new light
No mountain too high, no storm too wild,
This is my year – focused, and inspired.

I’ll rise each day with purpose clear, casting away every doubt, every fear.
For goals are seeds, and I will sow with girt and grace, I’ll watch them grow.
Strength in my body, sharpness in my mind, Moments of joy, the peace I’ll find. Connection deeper, bridges I’ll build, a life fulfilled, my spirit thrilled.

With every step and try, I’ll aim for stars and reach for the sky.
This is my year, my time to thrive, In 2025, I will come ALIVE.

Dear Unsealed,

I was going to make a long list,
Of at least
Ten goals to conquer
On my bucket list
Of proper
Stuff to do,
Write,
Create music as you
Write poetry,
Stories of life
The other goal
That worries my soul
To be so bold
As I hear at 75, I might lose
My social security and healthcare.
Beware
I was told today
So bold
By a friend
I would have to get a real job,
My art, my songs, my writing does not pay,
Here what I say
She said,
I looked at her and walked into my room,
Walk away today,
My goal is to tell anyone
To their face
That said to me give up your writing and all that,
Get a real job!
I texted her I do not need to be told
So bold,
What to do,
She made me blue,
Rolled off my shoulder,
As I am bolder
At 75,
Glad to be alive.
My one fun goal is to get a tattoo
Of a red rose
Painted on me by my cousin LA,
Prose and praise,
I will be so bold,
As I am old
To take a course in AI,
Maybe get certified,
Then money will flow,
But all the while
My dear child,
I cry out to naysayers,
Think how your words pierce my heart
As I am now making a new creative start.
My goals for 2025 are:
a. Let things naysayers slide off my shoulders.
b. Continue to create art, music, and writing.
c. Research taking course in AI to be certified to work professionally
d. BREATHE!
These are my immediate thoughts about my goals for 2025. There is a possibility that the new government in DC will cut our social security, health care and all entitlements as the billionaires talk destruction of our lives as we know it to create fear in everyone.
BREATHE!

2025 is gonna be a year
Of cutting ties and creating new
Bonds developing new circles.
So quick give me a scalpel
I need a clean cut
Some surgical removals
Just a metaphor.
Some are gonna be left
With a scar that can’t be seen,
Scared emotionally
A feeling from the core
That’s gonna be hard to ignore.
I would know because
I’ve felt the pain before.
From broken bones to
A broken heart I’ve been through both.
Emotional damage resonates
A pain felt Internally
Some hold onto it for eternity.
This is just a hint of what 2025 will be.

My alarm blares, and I hit snooze,
Ignoring the time as I doze.
I wake feeling blue,
Let chaos infuse,
But in 2025, it’s rise vs. overdue.

In the quiet of my heart, a promise takes its place,
To live in peace, our family in pieces, I’ll find my space.
With eyes set on tomorrow, I’ll rise above the pain,
Transforming scars to strength, like sunshine after rain.

Though shadows whisper doubts, and the past tries to bind,
I’ll embrace my true potential, leave the hurt behind.
A mother, a student, a writer with a voice,
I’ll show the world my power, I’ll take back my choice.

To those who said I couldn’t, I’ll prove them all wrong,
With every step I take, I’ll grow steadfast and strong.
Though tremors once held me, I’ll stand with grace anew,
Facing the abuser, I’m ready to break through.

No fear will hold me captive, no chains will keep me down,
With faith as my armor, I’ll wear my courage crown.
For no matter their intentions, in darkness they may spin,
I’ll rise and shine forever, for I will never let them win.

More goals are ahead
I feel led
To achieve them
One at a time
To reach each finish line
The stars are slowly aligning
I’ve seen the sharp lightning
After years of mixed messages
And confusing paths
Thanks to outdated maps
But the life game is slowing down
No more feeling like I had drown
In a sea of confusion
More books are on the way
After finally finishing my first one this year
I cheer with happy tears
Continuing to pursue my Bachelor’s Degree
At UMGC
Will be another goal that I strive to work on
Getting more involved in The Unsealed again,
is a goal I hope to work on through baby steps
If more goals come along
I welcome them with a big hug
May we all
Stand tall
To end 2024
On a high note

As we dance around the sun once again
I will demonstrate my love for you
And I will listen
Every sign
Every metaphor
Body
You are wise
I will learn more from you
Things I cannot see with my eyes
Feel with my hands
You talk to me
And I’ll stay curious
A sore stomach
And ache in my head
Sweaty palms
The fast paced beating of my heart
The signals that you send to me
I will slow down
And I will be listening
For your wisdom
This is the year
Body and soul
Dance together in time

I vow to God this dull December day
that faith and love will greet the coming year
as valiant, righteous knights opposing hate
unarmored and outnumbered, fate unclear.

My sword of truth shall drip with cobalt ink,
each slash, riposte, and stab incising verse
beneath corroded alloy chainmail links
’til evil waves the white, all ranks disperse.

But while this vital battle rages on,
I’ll raise my shield to spare the innocent—
its coat of arms: Mosaic of a Mom,
poetic scene with eighty thousand dents—

ensure their laughter’s heard above the roar
and ugliness of Moralistic War.

What pushes us forward while keeping us grounded is often the place where our dreams were founded.
We hold them close to our chest hoping that they will propel us to our best,
We have chosen each because of the morals and values they teach.
Like feeling the sun on your skin and the fresh air you’re taking in will guide you to understand that in the grand scheme, these problems you face be that of a grain of sand.
Fortify your mind, for you will find that what you keep there will become your crosses to bear.
But don’t forget your physical self and put your body away on a shelf, allowing it to slip away until you find yourself beginning to fray.
Hold the people near who mean the most and lean on them when you fear you’re at the end of your rope.
Keep them close through the good and the bad, cherish the memories, and remember that social media perfectionism is a lying fad.
Your family, whether chosen or birth, truly love you to the ends of the earth, much further I’m sure if you ask them.
Be an example to them, for they look up to you but remember they want the you that is true.
Work towards that joy that blooms from inside, that’s so abundant, there’s no place for anger or lasting sadness to hide.
Set the boundaries when you need to because if you don’t, they will carelessly walk all over you.
Put your family you created before all others, and do what it takes to give them your best. Take care of them for that is where your future rests.
I’ve shared with you what keeps you moving because you’ve got a lot of thoughts continuously blooming.
This year brought a range of strong emotions but I would sail the entire ocean to cut the cord on toxic patterns and get back to focusing on what matters.
Cheers to 2025, may this be the year that I truly thrive.

In 2025, the dawn will break,
A year of promise, a path to take.
With goals ahead, so bold, so bright,
A future waiting, full of light.

To grow in wisdom, deepen grace,
To meet each challenge face to face.
With every step, a lesson learned,
A world of progress to be earned.

In 2025, I’ll find my way,
Through brighter mornings, bolder days.
A heart more open, free from doubt,
With dreams and goals that shout and shout.

To lift the voices of the unheard,
To listen closely, every word.
To build connections, break down walls,
And rise together when life calls.

With every student, every friend,
I’ll work to help them to transcend.
To guide, to teach, to help them see,
The potential in their hearts to be.

In 2025, I’ll challenge fear,
Step forward boldly, draw more near.
To seek new knowledge, spark new fires,
To fuel the dreams and deep desires.

With each new day, I’ll take the chance,
To lead with love, to teach, to dance.
To make a difference in every way,
And celebrate the work I’ll do each day.

The goals ahead are filled with might,
And I will walk with steady light.
In 2025, I’ll boldly claim,
A year to rise, to grow, to aim.

Goals for 2025

Get up, Stay up, Don’t fall down-
You’ve been at home too long Dear, it’s time for town-

Get up, Stay up, Don’t fall down-
You can do this Dear just straighten your crown-

Get up, Stay up, Don’t fall down-
Be a Good Girl Dearest and do not frown-

Get up, Stay up, Don’t fall down-

Come correct, I say to the mirror,
not a command but a beckoning,
an invocation for grace, for truth,
for showing up without shame’s shadow.

Know when to lean in
to the warmth of a friend’s laughter,
to the edge of discomfort that births growth,
to a lover’s hands, the hymn of belonging.

Follow up, follow through,
threads of accountability weaving
a tapestry I won’t let unravel.

Smoke less, or not at all,
unless it’s with the slow reverence
of palo santo billowing and curling towards the ancestors.

Exercise more
not just my body,
but the courage to move toward joy,
the strength to stretch past hesitation.

Stay in touch, send love notes in whispers,
in texts, in hand-scrawled cards,
become the bridge between worlds we almost lose.

Be tapped into my creative vessel,
a river I refuse to dam,
flooding into states of flow where time is myth.

Devour fruits ferally
mangoes dripping,
berries ravaged,
life sweet and unplanned, bitten into wholly.

Under my blood’s moon, I’ll dance,
offer secrets to the sky,
let ritual stitch me into the night.

Get published
my words spilling
like offerings on a page,
Bring to life stories that refuse silence.

Chip away at my debt,
practicing the rejection
of a weight that I can no longer carry.

Have more sex
more holy collisions,
more communion where skin is scripture
and bated breath is a plea answered.

Stay hydrated
be a body of flowing abundance.

Know how to oscillate,
between softness and sharpness,
between solitude and the heat of crowds.

Travel to horizons that shift my spine,
to cities where my tongue learns new dances,
to fields where roots whisper my name.

Learn how to pray again,
to kneel with open hands,
to find God in what I’d lost and what I make.

Tap into intuition,
feel the pull of what’s unseen,
a guide not tethered by reason.

Call my grandma, my aunt,
build bridges of memory,
let their stories braid into my own.

Record oral histories,
gather words like fallen leaves,
preserve the voices that made me.

2025, I summon you
like a spell, like a promise
not to change me,
but to root me deeper into who I am becoming.

Dear Unsealers,

Whenever I am in the psych hospital, the nurses and psychiatrist want me to find a reason to live so I do not keep ending up there.

For many years, my tortoiseshell cat Hershey’s Kisses was my reason to live.

She adored me and would have been devastated if I had died before she did.

Finally, in October 2024, my reason for living died.

I had to put Hershey to sleep because her health declined exponentially, and living was no longer an option for her.

Now I was the one who was devastated. I had no reason for living. What do I do now?

Then, it came to me. I had spent my entire life living for others, helping others, pleasing others.

I had neglected my own happiness, my own well-being, for my entire life.

Sure, I went to therapy and took medication. Yet I still felt hollow.

I was an empty pot. I needed to fill myself with dirt, water, and a thriving plant.

The dirt would be my foundation for living. I needed plenty of nutrients.

I am learning how to treat my body like a temple, feeding myself nutrient-dense foods, and making intentional movements.

Meditating and self-reflecting.

Rest and relaxation.

The water would be the love I shower myself with. How do I show myself love?

I shall develop hobbies I perform only for myself. Take plenty of time for myself.

I have plenty of activities I plan to occupy myself with.

Making sticker collages.

Coloring in coloring books.

Writing letters and poetry to develop my preferred craft.
Reading enjoyable literature. My plan this year is to read at least one book a month. After all, the best writers also read voraciously.

There are fun activities I plan on learning how to do in 2025.

Writing shorthand so I can write as fast as I think. My mind races fast and it is impossible to catch up in longhand and speech.

Putting on makeup, not to look good for others, but to fill up with beauty the blank canvas that is my face, to visually please myself.

Colored pencil drawing, because I want my fifth-grade art teacher who criticized my self-portrait to eat her heart out.

Playing guitar and writing songs because I need to release the soul in my heart from time to time.

2025 will be the flourishing plant that springs from the pot I have lovingly curated for myself.

2025 will be the year I finally live for myself.