So I had a dream about my wife,( the problem was I wasn’t married) I had looked continuously and came up unsuccessful, my assistant pastor, told me to quit looking and give half my cell phone bill to God and put on there GDS( GOD’S DATING SERVICE) and I did , well I decided slip and call a dating service ( my cell phone bill was a 1,000 dollars) but I met a girl from South Dakota I’m from SC, well she told me about her friend and her friend and I hit it off, we talked for 2 hours minimum every night.On August 8th we would finally meet, we spent the week together, i decided to drive her home unexpectedly in my 94 Nissan truck and I didn’t check NOTHING, I met her family and we hit it off ( AMAZING PEOPLE) Connie would move down with me and on Feb 25, 2005, we would get married.She is my best friend and my dream wasn’t fake.NEVER DOUBT GOD.

It seems like every day a dream comes true.
I get to wake up
feel the warmth of the sunshine on my skin
take my first breath of the day
lift my arms, wiggle my legs
take the biggest stretch I can
Filling my body with so much love
Every day is a dream.
It’s another chance to make someone smile
or to laugh
To feel all the bubbly emotions inside
To embrace who I am
to the fullest
Allowing myself to shine
Expressing my passion through art
or words
Sharing myself with those I love
I am living my dream
I get to wake up and be me
with no shame or judgement
and no fear of trying to be someone I’m not
This whole life is a dream
It’s a chance to explore me
The real me
The one who gets to dream

Blessings swirled and danced and wove themselves through the lives of my capable friends, but seemed so unattainable, amends unavailable, to me and my sick intents.
Most days were spent in a thick, foggy haze, plagued with the side effects from alcoholic ways.
Ever drained from manufactured chaos.
Long nights with short payoffs.
And I was cocooned, bound and corrupt, drowning in my poisoned cups.
Doomed to combust.
Further fast-tracking my funeral once I discovered the stronger drugs.
But one day, BAM, a clarity!
A lightening bolt of serenity.
It just hit me – this mystery – a jolt to rewrite my history.
A new journey to heal after a decade of trouble and tragedy.
I could really feel.
This was a miracle I was too long scared to acquiesce; that is until I became more scared of impending, ultimate death.
I had found my hope and I wanted to really live, not just cope.
But I harbored so much jealousy and envy, it pooled and boiled within me, resentments lengthy. I was bitter at social media posts, vacations and dinner toasts, and those who were joyful and friendly I saw as an enemy – such a manic psyche in frenzy, anger too plenty.
So I took a personal inventory, being fearless and thorough as a moral explorer remembering to not rest on my laurels marching forward with decorum.
Apologies were spoken, forgiveness was given, and something that was broken within me now awoken, a new beginning.
I couldn’t believe all this emotion, the cosmos burst open for me to be free to see reality, breathing sober breaths.
Many people helped pull me up and out from Hell’s deep despair depths to where I could be content simply living in the present.
The cliche’s like, “poor me, poor me, pour me another,” I’d discover, were just one of the many clever motivators to help me recover.
In time I would find on this brighter side that if I did what was advised and followed my spirit guides and applied principles learned and tried to purge the pain, then blessings would emerge and inspiration would surge to unlearn a lifetime of my survival skills that no longer served.
What was once inconceivable, an existence so unbelievable, finally made achievable, and with a lot of effort and belief I processed my trauma and grief.
I entered into a new season of mind, something divine, one of intentional design after the old me died.
And happiness and sobriety were not just a naïve fantasy, but an actual goal I could and did achieve.
Today I can say I’m proud of who I became without shame or blame and reframe my past as a gift I purely needed to unpack.
I’m thankful for the positive impact that negative experiences can refract back.
I no longer lack or feel trapped or need to distract from life’s ebb and flow because I know no matter what I undergo, even a heavy blow that can knock me low, will only bestow lessons through which I get to grow.
This meaningful life, once a dream, is now a very real thing, and at the center of my world, with clenched fists unfurled, I embrace all the love that I’ve always deserved.

Long Ago
I wrote a poem
I titled it ‘My Lovely Dream’
It spoke of tears that fell from me
After life was ripped from womb
And I was told
I would never have my life’s dream
But….
As the world shut Down
A mystery solved
Missing puzzle piece found
You were living
Growing inside of me
Tina Marie
Told so many times
A Mother – A Mommy
I would Never Be
My Sweet First Born Son
You Have Became
My Loveliest Dream

Our purpose in life isn’t random
Our dreams are made from the elements of
Our soul
Our passions
Our experiences
Our God given gifts

My dream to become a Mother has been in my bones since before I can remember
But it isn’t just biology
My dream was built on my infinite capacity for love
It was built on my naturally nurturing soul
It was built on my caring nature
And compassion I hold for all
The grit I have to persevere in hard times
And the confidence in myself to tenderly raise a human
In this world, that while beautiful, is not without cruelty and suffering
A human who could meet that world both strength
And a heart for love, too

I was in a marriage
That was akin to two puzzle pieces forcing themselves to fit
That made me feel alone, even when in the same room
And as years passed – so did our shared dream of parenthood
He no longer desired children, with me at least
Nothing crushes a soul more than a broken dream
And I questioned; how will I move past this
How will I ever be blessed enough to have a love required
To make my dream a reality

But our soul’s desires don’t fade
I managed the courage to leave
No matter how shaky I was packing those bags
And calling that lawyer
And going on dates: something I never thought I would ever do again

To my surprise
The love I’d been seeking for a decade
Was waiting all along
And the surprise of a lifetime
Turned into my dream of a lifetime
As I type this, watching my little miracle fast asleep
My sonshine will rise again this morning
The light of my dream sitting right in front of me
Will never cease to amaze me

A childish dream…
A simplistic scheme…
To be not a man but a myth, or rather a man who doesn’t exist
A silly desire that continued to persist
But as to how to pursue, I had not a clue
Until I realized, I’m the point in which two bloodlines converge
And I loved the way their names sounded when merged
Thus Donald M. Clyde was born
To hide myself, he was my mask worn
Under his guise I started to write
And as people responded, my heart was full of delight
Until I started to write under my God given name
Only to see life play a sick little game
The bitter irony of using a pseudonym…
To see people not like me, as how they loved him
And thus I’ve found myself taking up his mantle again
And see myself as a man who’s been enslaved by his pen
Just wishing that the world would know my name’s….

I’ve had my share of dreams and goals
throughout this skyward climb—
have hustled, slaved, and sold my soul
at least five thousand times—

all rocket fuel injection founts,
plans realized or not;
ascension parted clouds of doubt
for me, the astronaut.

I soared past childhood fantasy,
explored familial moons,
then looped a distant star or three—
my focus all-consumed—

in search of true enlightenment
to sate the blackest hole;
event horizon’s discontent
demanded full control—

devouring each new career,
each studied course with verve;
I never dared to interfere,
rode stardust’s shimmer surf

until my suit was frayed and dull,
my helmet webbed and chipped;
the time had come: a glowing hull
endured re-entry’s trip.

Adventures through the universe,
though shaping, took a toll;
when fragile bones touched down on Earth,
they garnered strength from scrolls—

the very scrolls I’d long outrun,
entranced by distant skies,
so sure of fate beyond the sun—
a poet in disguise.

As a child, I went so mild-to the Best School in the world
Southeast Elementry, Kindergarden was plenty-even grade 3 had a sweet girl.
Poor with nothing else, but was so happy-most everyone had such cool stuff.
Free to learn Mr. and Mrs. alphabet-and the menu at lunch was so much!
So I learned how to put those letters together, and write my heart so young
And never thought I’d see the day-I’d be writing from “The Unsealed” Love!
The kids then at School, I remember so cool-how they all truly was
Now yrs. gone by, they still are cool-though life makes me cry from above!
Was not fair for them, nor me, nor any-how things turned out as they did,
Though tradgety so far makes many alarmed-Adults reap the good sown as kids.
So all to find, all reap some good-at different levels, experiance normally would
Take the cons with the pros-could of been a prep, but had to be a hood.
Went so fast, I tried like crazy-to keep my grand childhood free…
But was taken soon, as a swift blast-so God gave Grace to me!!!
By grade 6 I was sick of the sticks, where my Dad moved us all out so-
Therefore I took and ran away-and ran so mad, everywhere I did go!
Drunk and high all the time-every reality I had to escape
My lost soul out of control-so long my madness, lived in the hate.
But this is not about, how I dropped out-of the Southeast Pirates School
It’s about how I wanted all along-again to be so happy and cool 🙂
More yrs. gone by, deeply stuck in pride-But bottomed desire comply,
To the time I wished I could be-the such happy kid I thought to hide.
Then from the Best School in the world, to the school of streets’ hard knocks-
I waited, and waited, and waited a lot…Until by God I was finally caught!
Then He took me to the place-And enrolled me in the School of Amazing Grace!
Now by the faith of my inner child-He took me off trial-For Jesus to pay my fair!
And I tell you all the while-come to find out, He really always did care!!! 🙂
October 18th, a life-changer indeed, He made this broken man complete-
And showed me the way to jump in the hole, and guide the others out of defeat!
Yes, I graduated and He gave to me-Eternal Life when I was dead…
Now everyday is made brand new-in the School of God’s Grace Again!!! 🙂

Yes, Dear world, on His time-He made my dream come true!!! 🙂

*PRAISE HIM*

I’ve had a few dreams already come true, but some I’m still working on. But with hard work and dedication, I’m sure I’ll make it happen. My most recent dream that came true, was being featured in a best seller’s book.

Growing up, I always used to read the, Chicken Noodle Soup For The Soul books. They were books made for kids, teenagers, adults, pretty much for anyone who enjoyed them.

They had inspirational stories, poems and sometimes even songs written in them from real people and their real life experiences. True stories. I loved reading them whenever I was down, upset or just needed something to lift my spirits. Those stories of others always inspired me in some ways. Ways that helped me understand that whatever I was facing at the moment, others had gone through them too, if not sometimes worse. But somehow, those whose story I was reading, they made it out on the other side of whatever it was that they were facing. Which gave me hope and strengthen my faith that I would too.

After reading those books, I always dreamed of being featured in one of those books. So that I could tell my story just like they did, and inspire others, just like how they inspired me. I just didn’t know how I could make that happen. I didn’t give up, I just was unsure of how it would happen.

Until one day, while strolling through Facebook, I saw an ad for a writing contest for a website called Unsealed. At first, I thought that it’s just a chance to write and release some of the things that I needed to release as while starting my healing journey. But then I saw and realized that it was so much more. That it’s a community of people, writers, artists, friends to share their stories and also listen to each other, to uplift one another. Which I love. Not to mention, my story that I shared would be featured in a book. A book that is very similar to the books that I read and wanted so badly to be a part of. It wasn’t that exact book, but still my dream of my story being shared in a book, for a chance to be read by someone that could also inspire them……. My dream finally came true.

I do wish to do more, because I have a lot of stories to share. I want to take this time to thank everyone involved in the creation and success of The Unsealed community/website/books. You’ve helped me continue to do the work necessary for my healing journey, and you helped me make one of my dreams come true all while being introduced to some amazing people that I too can learn from. Sharing our stories in love and showing true compassion towards one another. See, dreams really do come true. True Story.

I remember watching your dark shadows of all different shapes and people, day and night, move across the landscape. I never knew your name.
I witnessed your worlds and dangers which only I could see and experience;
being buried alive in clouds of earth and rain isn’t nice you know.

You released a ripple inside my soul; wild; untamable; starving for my own flesh and blood and soul.
It did not take long for it to become a tsunami, an ephemeral disaster of reality’s true desire to end Humanity, breaking me again, and again, and again against the sharp cliffs of my patch-worked psyche.

I have no need to tame you. Not when you bring me such euphoria.
I have no desire to cease your wonderful, yet terrific cursed blessing of mine.

You allow the worlds I imagine, and the danger I make up, and the death I create flow from my mind and onto the pages I endlessly write in now. An addiction to the tsunami I can never be free of. An addict seeking the fix my mind gives you.

How does it feel now that I have become the ripple? The tsunami? I bet you’re starving to fuel this shared addiction of ours; your imagination to my reality.

So, what should I write next?

my pride is not mine alone

it belongs to
those who came before
the warriors
the tortured
the murdered
our martyrs

it belongs to
those who carry the torch
the advocates
the trench dwellers
the foot soldiers
our people

it belongs to
those yet to come
the unborn queer souls
the closeted
the baby gays
our silent

our pride is born from

battles
shame
guilt
silence
riots
celebrations

stories
coming out
community
relationships
naming
claiming

our pride is like
the sky
a blanket of many hues
a place of wonder
a place where dreams stir
like the formidable wind

my pride is not mine alone

it spans beyond words
it is much more than symbols
it reaches far beyond parades
it is simply greater than…
it comes from the dancing soul
sacred, authentic, and creative

Write, write, write!
Letter by letter
Press by press
Line by line, each dot connects.

Write, write, right?
You did it, you did,
Every key typed in
Every lettered line is drawn tight.
Writing done right.

In books, on pages,
In emails and spaces
A mark you have left for the ages.

Online, offline, books, or naught
A writer, you are, but forget you should not.