What wonderful work! Congratulations on achieving it. Let’s be friends! Our experiences differ but the feeling of being alone, of not connecting with others… it is the same. Isolation, the sense of being the only one experiencing it is so common to us and to others here. So rare to speak o it, to put it out in the open, o take the risk.
Amber what a sweet poem to your younger self. I want to give you and your younger self a hug. You now our part of The Unsealed family, and you are loved. You beautiful and your are strong. So proud of your strength. It takes courage to face your past but not allow to be your present. You have so much to love and so much to be proud of. <3 Lauren
Amber this poem is magnificent. Younger you would be so proud of the person you are today. Your letter is so inspiring because a lot of us go through dark paths in the past where it is very hard to find the light to get out of that darkness. I’m glad that she found your light and that you motivating other people to find their light.
Amber this is such a thought-invoking poem! I love the depth of it and how you really paint a picture of your feelings with your words. I think a hard lesson we all experience (on different levels is) that people are supposed to come and go in our life. Some longer than others and some in the worst ways. Overcoming abandonment is something that…read more
I wish I could say that life is everything you dreamed it would be. But the truth is neither your parents nor the education system prepared you for a single real life thing. I’ve only just begun to process it all. It seems much heavier now. I have to admit I am very proud of who you are at your core. I don’t know where it came from but our foundation is strong and for this I am thankful. It’s you who got me this far, and you who will continue to touch many lives.I’d also like to say that I’m sorry. You endured so many things, sometimes willingly, because of the way you were conditioned to “be” and you did not deserve it. I will free you of these things one day but I know you would have remained a strong and solid person regardless. This way is healthier and your children won’t repeat the same cycles.
You know a different kind of love now, being a mother of two. I know you never imagined this but honestly not even your hours spent daydreaming could create something so beautiful. Your first is your best friend, he’s like you in many ways. Wise beyond his years, resilient, and creative. Your second, she’s what you wish you could have been; firm, bubbly and such a diva. Everything you hated about yourself- they also possess. You learned to love yourself and healed yourself through them and that was only the beginning. Your heart and mind have expanded since becoming a mom. You learned many things about your parents and grew to understand them and their flaws, you learned to give them grace and forgive them. All of this was done with no guidance other than your ability to dissect thoughts and emotions, your desire to understand everything and brutal honesty with yourself. And you used to feel like you couldn’t make anyone proud? You’re a work of art, naturally. I would not have come this far if you had been a different person.
I want you to know that even though life has not been easy, and you spent many nights just wishing you could catch a break or wake up somewhere else- life has been worth it. You leave such an impact on everyone you meet, you light up rooms, you breathe life into others simply by being you. Your existence is a gift on its own. Your belief in yourself is all you need and I’m sorry that I didn’t realize it sooner. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their corner, and even though there were times you wished you didn’t give so much of yourself- I promise you it was never in vain.
You’ve been an inspiration to many. Mr. Bean would be proud. He once told you that you were his hero and at the time I didn’t grasp the weight of those words but as I’m writing this for you today I finally understand it. You’re my hero too. Maybe all I needed was to let my brain put together what my heart already knew. Thank you for sticking around long enough for me to figure all of this out. Life is nothing like you thought it would be, the real world is a mess even for those with guidance and planners and strict schedules. But you are everything that I needed to make it this far. I promise to always honor who you are at your core no matter what circumstance life throws at me, and to allow myself some time every now and then to lose myself in the little things that make you happy.
Denise, the world and adulthood are full of surprises, but clearly you’ve handled it with so much strength. The love you have for your children is very clear in this piece and they are so lucky to have you. It takes courage to grow, to forgive, to be better than what you know and. you are doing all that and more. Keep shining. I can’t wait to read…read more
Thank you for this Lauren! What you started with this website is going to reach so many people. I feel like I’m back in school in my favorite class writing & thriving.
Aww that makes me so happy to hear. You have so much light inside of you. And now you are allowing yourself t shine. Thank you for sharing your light, love, wisdom and story with all of us! <3 Lauren
Wow Denise your life was a roller coaster. Even though we have our ups and downs what did us to greatness is that stop where we can get off and if we want we can jump back on again. i’m glad that you signed and you gain strength and love for even your children that you have today. Even without knowing you showed love by sharing your story to s…read more
Thank you, I truly hope to meet more people & share our stories so we learn from each other. I’m so thankful we have this site & social media to use productively. I know I’ve already learned from a few other stories here <3
Denise you better preach! “neither your parents nor the education system prepared you for a single real life thing.” When I entered the real world I was absolutely shocked. Most parents try to give their best, from the knowledge they’ve acquired but the world is constantly changing. The school system….well we get what we pay for right? (If…read more
The system should be more concerned with arming us with knowledge, real life knowledge. The world could evolve a hundred times but if we had the mental capacity to process & heal & accept that we deserve peaceful lives- we would be thriving & actually living. Thank you so much!
Hi Denise. Wow what an amazing letter. Such a strong girl you must be. A great mother for your kids no doubt. It’s been enjoyable listening to you on the Zoom conferences. You do a tremendous job. It’s very nice to meet you 😊
See you at the next one I hope 😊 @shedevildee
Hello younger Donna! I know this sounds crazy, but I am you from the future. I am 21- year-old you to be exact. No, we don’t have flying cars, or talking houses. We do, however, have self-driving cars and robot dogs.
I believe that you are 13 now, and are getting ready to go into the 8th grade. I know you are excited because you just went to Disney World, you are on the cheer team, and you are expecting another little sister; but I am going to give you some advice for this school year and the years to come. 8th grade is going to be the hardest year of your life. Not only will your classes get harder, but you are going to learn some hard life lessons, but a good thing to remember is this year is going to make you stronger.
You will learn many new things this year that are hard to understand, like how the people that are closest to you will most often be the ones that hurt you the most. You will lose many friends and family members this year. Some chose to leave you, and some had to leave you; although you may not always know the reason why. Keep in mind that everything happens for a reason.
On Thanksgiving, towards the end of your family’s Thanksgiving celebration, something scary will happen. Your sister will be born 10 weeks early, at 1 AM Friday morning. She will be the smallest, cutest baby you have ever seen. She will have to spend 6 weeks in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Your parents will finally be able to bring her home in early January. You will have 2 weeks with her before the unexpected happens. Just know that when this happens it is not your fault, and there was nothing that you could have done, it was just her time to go.
The next few months are going to be the hardest for you. Some people that you are close to are going to leave you. Just remember they did not mean to hurt you, and to be your forgiving self and don’t hold a grudge. You will later find out that you are expecting another little sister, and she will be one of the best things to ever happen to you. Your life will start to turn around for the better.
I also remember you wanted to go to the same college mom did, and start working at the Veterans Affairs (VA) hospital. I don’t want to give too much away, but I will say that not everything will work out the way that you planned it to, but it will work out the way that you need it to. You will end up doing something that you never thought you would do, and you fall in love with it. You still help the sick and injured veterans and their families who served, you will just be serving alongside some of them. You will make not only yourself, but those around you proud, because you will achieve some really hard accomplishments.
Your goals in life will change, as you grow in your career. You will want to do things that you never would have thought of. Yes, these goals are going to be hard to reach, but I know that you can do it if you really put your mind to it. As I finish off this letter I will leave you with a few words of advice. Remember to always be yourself, and stay true to who you are. Always forgive people for their mistakes, and never hold a grudge.
Donna, First things first. Thank you very much for your service. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby sister, but I am glad you have another sister and found joy and love in that relationship. This letter is very well written, and you clearly have a lot of strength and resilience that should make you feel quite proud. Thank you for sharing your…read more
Lauren, Thank you so much for your support! And thank you, it was definitely the hardest time of my life. But on the flip side I feel like my sister came when my family need her most. I am not trying to sound egotistical, but I am proud of myself. I decided to tell this particular story to hopefully inspire other people, and show that things do…read more
Thank you so much for your service. You’re younger you would be so proud of where you are today. Not many people can gain such a comeback in life. Especially the struggle of eighth grade it’s always hard moving up because that’s when things start to get a bit serious in life. I’m glad you were able to withstand it all and be strong.
Thank you for your support. And thank you so much, I try my best to make her and the rest of my family proud. I shared this story to hopefully help other people in a similar situation to show that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that they are not alone. Thank you so much for the encouragement and the support!!!
Donna thank you so much for your service and thank you so much for sharing how losing your baby sister affected you(and my deepest condolences). I don’t think it’s often that we get to hear the perspective of loss from the child’s point of view and that says a lot. Thank you for sharing that with us! You are so strong and I hope that we’ll hear…read more
Thank you for your support!! I shared this story in hopes to reach someone who may have been in or are currently going through it, and let them know that there are people out there that they can talk to. And you diffidently will hear more in the future, as I continue to grow in my career and be inspired by those around me (those who do and dont…read more
Ahh yes…writing to myself as a youngster. So many good times, but yet, the main thing I want to do is grab you and shake you and say “cmon man! get in the game!” lol. More on that in a bit. But moving on. I remember you being pretty shy in your high school days. Not always. But painfully shy in some instances. On the basketball court or on the baseball field, you were as much in your element as you could have been. Outside of that, not so much. You weren’t crazy about getting called in in class, and I wish you didn’t worry so much about giving speeches that you almost made yourself sick thinking about. And if a girl liked you, that was a GOOD thing. Not something to avoid, young Jim. I remember you purposely avoiding girls that liked you in junior high, or even friends of this person. Because you didn’t want to deal with them asking “did you talk to Michelle?”. I remember you hoping that the teacher wouldn’t call on you in some classes. But in others, you were vocal. Why not all the classes young Jim? Well, now young Jim, at my job, I actively seek to give my opinion on things during meetings. I have the confidence to state my case on things, even to people higher up on the chain than you. And guess what? I’m usually right. And guess what again? YOU probably were right and informed back then, younger Jim. I often say “if i could relive my high school days knowing then what I know now, it could have been more fun”. Thats true too. Don’t get me wrong- I enjoyed what we did in high school. We had fun. But young Jim, coulda been so much more fun Not just talking with girls, but classes would have gone better, been more fun. I guess we just weren’t quite ready to take on the world quite yet back than, huh?
Things have improved through the years. Your confidence has picked up. You’ve taken a “what the hell” approach to things at times. The unknown has become less of a fear for you. Same w change. You have adapted to change more lately. You’ve tried new things. New experiences. You have come to the belief that you are as good as anyone. That you don’t need to defer to anyone. At times, you are realizing the silliness of being so shy back in the day. But also, because you are so much older and wiser now (wink,wink), you also realize that maybe if you were brimming with confidence, that maybe cautious and unassuming young Jim might have been replaced by cocky and confident Jim..and maybe some bad decisions may have been made, and maybe some trouble would have been gotten into. So all in all, no regrets. No point in wishing away things about days that have already transpired, right? I think we have come a long way and made a lot of improvements. We are still working on that eye contact thing. But hey- step by step right? I promise you young Jim, older Jim is gonna keep growing. We’ve done good
Jim, you’ve shared before about coming out of your shell. And I am so glad you did or you probably wouldn’t even be a part of The Unsealed. I am glad your confidence has grown and you’ve become more outgoing. Your a great person and the more people you interact with the better. 🙂 Thank you for sharing ! -Lauren
Amazing story Jim. I know sometimes shyness can be nerve-racking. especially when it comes to sports that you truly like. I’m glad you ended up coming out of your shell a bit more as you grew older. I myself wasn’t really a shy person but I was pretty shy when it came to performing like what if I mess up type stuff. I think it’s a natural thing…read more
Hi Kayjah. Thanks so much for the kind words. Funny thing is, sports was the place I Felt the most comfortable actually. Especially on the baseball field. And it was the unknown that made me uncomfortable. Like people I didn’t know. That’s when I was the most shy. Performing? What kind of performing do you do? Thanks again for the kind words. By…read more
Jim I was so clumsy in high school (even in basketball). It made me so worried I’d do something embarrassing that I was so serious and didn’t get to have the fun that I wanted. Somewhere along the way, I realized the worst anyone could do was laugh at me so I started finding what I thought embarrassing funny. It helped me relax a lot and realize…read more
Hi Jael. Nice to meet you. Thank you for the kind words too. Funny thing is on the basketball court and on the baseball field was where I was the most comfortable. And I wasn’t brutally shy, it was only around situation that I wasn’t familiar with. If I was around people in my comfort zone I wasn’t as shy. The unknown was what got to me. that’…read more
I’ve been writing now for about two years because of everything I have experienced. I don’t think we ever felt the whole dear diary thing. I think writing these letters is a concept worth trying. After all those years of struggling with prompt writing around 2016 it no longer existed. Hopefully this letter will make it a little bit easier to navigate through your twenties and obtain that degree.
Identify your toxic traits, we don’t have a lot queen trust me. You have to be consistent with being better versions of us in order to help others do the same. That toxic behavior will not pour out into your thirties. Let’s start off with my favorite Mom. If anybody knows mom like me it’s you. Yes it’s safe to say mom’s love was a bit smothering. Not all the time, but I am proof that no matter what we go through emotionally I will never regret putting mom first. I was with mom until the very end it definitely brought pain with peace. This healing journey I began in 2017 has really helped me thrive in our thirties. Mom will forever be our greatest teacher of life she also liked to write. Ask her for help in writing her stories I forgot so many and of course I’m missing those. There will be bad days but don’t ever leave moms side no matter how hard it gets. I highly suggest taking more breaks it is more important than you think. Especially for our mental health, please take the time for yourself! Not on anyone else, alone time with you. Not on those late night drives either. By 22 you already understand deep down how those types operate so try not to attach too many feelings. I tell you this, the love that you need will find you it will find us even when it seems like you failed. I will say this we didn’t even have to waste all that gas queen! Speak up more and keep asking for help with mom as well. I cannot exactly get into details of what’s to come but you and that bullfrog will be caring for mom in her last years of life. Very few regrets, on my bad days the list might be a little longer. Yes I’m sorry but we have those days. Days where we feel defeated and let depressive thoughts fill our days, weeks sometimes the whole month. The amount of time I spent on certain things like depressive thoughts and certain people could have been poured back into us somehow. But knowing what I know now I’m trying to spare us a little bit of heartbreak that I’m still struggling to heal in our thirties. We try not to be reckless over here, meaning we react less. Leave people where they want to be left and really focus on what it means to love unconditionally. A losing season will come and the hurt will be unbearable you do become vulnerable a short period of time. But again, it’s all part of our story. It will not make sense right way but believe you me I can bet you a bottle of Hennessy it does. It will be okay, you stay blessed in so many ways and most importantly we overcome so much because of our faith. Stay committed to the church. I admit not making it a priority in my twenties has made me delayed with being closer to my church family. The love is always there, on time and most importantly it’s unconditional. I’ve learned the power of prayer which helps me stress less and pray about literally everything. Always be grateful for good and the bad. Our values may not be for everybody and that’s okay. I have yet to find a soul that’s as deep and genuine as ours. Caring too much will be a distraction and will consume your time in trying to save people. You can love and support people from afar, remind them you’re still rooting for them. Prayers are the best form of love you can give. Go to church queen learn the Bible just listen already! Utilize the world wide web. You can be anything you put your mind to be. Go to school focus on your career, your education that’s something I’m definitely missing that in my thirties. I will be a college graduate in our thirties I owe this to us. That degree(s) will take us places I know it will. The feeling of going back to school does not compare to previous first days of school. Do you remember being in elementary school and those writing prompts would always make us want to cry? We thought something was wrong with us because we couldn’t tap into our creative side? If the elementary version of us could see me know she wouldn’t believe that I was a future version of us. I enjoy writing so much now and I know you would enjoy it too. You can start by writing me a little more if you have the time. I’m not a fortune teller but I would love to make the time to respond and be as helpful as I can be. Remember we’re not changing the future. Because I truly believe we were meant to go through everything we have gone through so far. May you stay grounded and positive take that walk you have been itching to take. You know the one that park with the lake. Remember stress less and pray about everything. May you be blessed always in all ways. Hope to hear from you
Beena, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. Sounds like you were lucky to have her and she was lucky to have you. And I am so glad you found a love for writing and make the time to write. Writing is incredibly healing. You are clearly a strong and resilient woman. Keep growing. Keep healing. Keep writing and keep being you. The Unsealed…read more
Wow. I want you to know that you are a very strong person and that your mother is very proud of you. She’s definitely reading this letter in heaven. You were so strong and brave and your writing is such a healing. I want you to continue to inspire others with your writing. Life isn’t easy but we always have a healing process.
Dear Bk,
You have gone thru many difficult situations but you have come out strong. I am so glad that the power of prayer and your love of writing has helped you to navigate life’s challenges. Keep up your faith and positivity and you will accomplish all you set out to do. I wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors.
Bk I LOVE how you’re immediately like “identify your toxic traits”. That is such good advice! I’m striving to be the best version of myself as well and I’m super excited to be reading about your journey. I feel like you’re speaking directly to me! I’ve struggled with depressive thoughts in the past as well (( years + of depression) and the best…read more
It is all okay
No matter what you or anybody says, no matter what happens
No matter if you belong to that group or that club or have that job
Or stay married to that man or woman even
It is all okay
Consider the lilies in the field, they neither toil nor slumber and God takes care of them
And tomorrow will take care of itself, just take care of today
For all your life, each day will be starting over
Each day will be a new opportunity to be alive and to be happy and joyful
That is your contribution
That is what the world needs
That is what you will always need
Do your meditation
Go meet Thich Nhat Hanh (pronounced tick not hon)
Do your exercise
Go find teachers and trainers
Ask questions
Don’t know the answers
Keep asking
Warning against getting your feelings hurt and feeling useless and depressed
That is why the meditation and prayer, and Bible and exercise is so important
You were gifted with incredible parents
Use that gift every day
Be aware of it
Not everybody had that gift
It is yours and cannot be taken away
And you can give from that deep reservoir
Sense of humor
The Tattooed lady Song
The lasagna and and garlic baguette
How to hammer a nail and grow a rose bush
How to be a moderate drinker
How to weigh the same thing all your life
Water skiing
And snow skiing
Cooking and entertaining
Tracking things
Having goals and projects and lists
Part 2
Your younger self could be in a war, or hurricane or flood,
Even then, these lessons of being present apply
Even when your brother dies at 20 in a car accident and your father said a prayer of thanksgiving
And your grandson doesn’t want to go on
And your sweetheart just criticizes and ultimately leaves and your brother teases
And you gain so much weight
Still haven’t learned Spanish
And your attic or basement or garage may be full
Just stand up and be and contribute your best loving self for the war and turn your other cheek to
your sweetheart and brother
They love you
They are where they are
You have infinite wisdom that life is a joy and we are forever learning
Tell your children and grandchildren and friends how proud you are of them and that you love
them. In law children too
And expect nothing in return, no credit, even being ignored is fine
Be a space for healing and wonder and nobody knows what hit them but they are all good or as
the grans say
All good bro
Have a meditation and writing practice
And follow the one day at a time rule
And keep it simple and easy
It is amazing to be a human being
And there are so many versions to observe, learn from and write about
Everybody is your teacher, especially the ones who are hard for you
So no shortage there
Nancy, your letter is so sweet. I am sorry for the loss of your brother and some of the other hardships you address in this letter but it seems as though you have remained strong and extremely kind hearted. Your family is lucky to have your heart and your wisdom. Thank you for sharing this beautiful letter. I am looking forward to reading more.…read more
Amazing work. I’m sorry that you lost your brother but I’m glad you remained very strong. I love how you considered how humans can be stronger than lilies in the field. God takes care of his people and just like the lilies we will never slumber or toll because he is watching over us and protecting us from any harm that will cause us to fall.
What wonderful work! Congratulations on achieving it. Let’s be friends! Our experiences differ but the feeling of being alone, of not connecting with others… it is the same. Isolation, the sense of being the only one experiencing it is so common to us and to others here. So rare to speak o it, to put it out in the open, o take the risk.
Subscribe  or  log in to reply
Amber what a sweet poem to your younger self. I want to give you and your younger self a hug. You now our part of The Unsealed family, and you are loved. You beautiful and your are strong. So proud of your strength. It takes courage to face your past but not allow to be your present. You have so much to love and so much to be proud of. <3 Lauren
Subscribe  or  log in to reply
Amber this poem is magnificent. Younger you would be so proud of the person you are today. Your letter is so inspiring because a lot of us go through dark paths in the past where it is very hard to find the light to get out of that darkness. I’m glad that she found your light and that you motivating other people to find their light.
Subscribe  or  log in to reply
Amber this is such a thought-invoking poem! I love the depth of it and how you really paint a picture of your feelings with your words. I think a hard lesson we all experience (on different levels is) that people are supposed to come and go in our life. Some longer than others and some in the worst ways. Overcoming abandonment is something that…read more
Subscribe  or  log in to reply