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Amber Sanchez shared a letter in the
A letter to my younger self group 1 years, 7 months ago A younger me called out in the darkness
AmberA closet full of skeletons
I’ve got them by the hanger
Do you wish to see my morgue?
Come close
The stench will drive you away
My mind’s dark crevices whisper incessantly
“Unlovable” they hiss
Insistent I stay silent to abuse because
I deserve it
I’m sitting in a red sofa chair
My therapist eyes directed at mine; concerned
“People don’t stay” I say
She responds, “Why do you believe that?”
“Because no one ever has”
The skeletons live in my head
My brain tries on a new one each day
A different tactic to keep me trapped within myself
Are you sure you want to see?
This dark space in my mind is even locked from me
To my younger self:
Yes, I want to see
I want to know every part
Hug each one bone by bone
And love you
Take off the hood from the grim reaper you call your past
And you’ll find a little girl that has only ever wanted to be loved.
Don’t be scared
make eye contact
Do you see her?
You are the same
I want to embrace your pain
And tell you its beautiful
Because you are loved
By me
Your bumps and bruises
Are not things to be ashamed of
You are a mosaic full of stories
People are too scared to even think to be a part of
You have done more than survive
The little light in you has thrived
In the darkness, when no one knew
You graduated
You found a job
You found a home
Imperfection has blossomed you
Into something beautifully impermanent
A never ending sculpture
That you get to mold
Your mind is your own
And yes you will make mistakes
Blotches in your canvas will appear
And make your life that much more clear
That blotch of paint
The drop you accidentally let leave your brush
Turned into a scenery
One beyond your wildest dreams
A map that is guiding you
To becoming your best self
I know life is full of unknowns
Change
Moments of loneliness
Pain
But there is also
Joy
Love
Goodness
Kindness
Don’t be afraid
For these are the stepping stones
That bring you home
To yourself
And I’ll be with you every step of the way
What wonderful work! Congratulations on achieving it. Let’s be friends! Our experiences differ but the feeling of being alone, of not connecting with others… it is the same. Isolation, the sense of being the only one experiencing it is so common to us and to others here. So rare to speak o it, to put it out in the open, o take the risk.
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Amber what a sweet poem to your younger self. I want to give you and your younger self a hug. You now our part of The Unsealed family, and you are loved. You beautiful and your are strong. So proud of your strength. It takes courage to face your past but not allow to be your present. You have so much to love and so much to be proud of. <3 Lauren
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Amber this poem is magnificent. Younger you would be so proud of the person you are today. Your letter is so inspiring because a lot of us go through dark paths in the past where it is very hard to find the light to get out of that darkness. I’m glad that she found your light and that you motivating other people to find their light.
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Amber this is such a thought-invoking poem! I love the depth of it and how you really paint a picture of your feelings with your words. I think a hard lesson we all experience (on different levels is) that people are supposed to come and go in our life. Some longer than others and some in the worst ways. Overcoming abandonment is something that I’m still working on. Know you aren’t alone in your deepest feelings. I’m so happy to know that you’re healing and evolving. Your poem was exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you <3
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