Here lies your inner child. Taken too early, as they always say. A beautiful light snuffed out before it had a chance to grow. Voice crushed by hands of the cruel world. Playful imagination crumbled to reality. Full and loving heart pin-pricked to slowly drain out. Slowly, so you can feel the pain of the emptiness. Adventurous dreams danced in a brilliant mind before they were trampled to dust. A hallowed vessel, nothing more than a shell, is all that is left to dig the grave. All that is left to burry the secrets of an inner child that is now forgotten.

I know you don’t think so right now, but you’ll survive the next four years. You’ll do so much more than that.
I remember the last big trip to Walmart the weekend before my first semester and how surreal everything felt. As I wandered through endless aisles of school supplies and bedspreads, I wondered how I would ever live on my own. The thought of living so far from home tied my stomach in queasy knots.
I remember saying goodbye to my family by saying “Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow for breakfast,” because it was easier than saying “I’ll see you in three months.” After we all hugged, I trudged to the dorm and didn’t look back, even though it was all I wanted to do. My elevator ride to the seventh floor was the longest elevator ride ever.
I remember my first night in my dorm room, as I sat in the dark. Anxiety raked my mind so sharply I couldn’t even cry, even though I wanted to. It haunted me when I woke up for class, and followed me to every single subject. I could barely answer questions when I was called on to do so.
I especially remember that first Thursday as I walked to lunch. The past several days weighed on my heart like three years—three years of an anxious fight for survival. I was on the phone with my family, and I hung on to their every word like a lifeline. My legs could no longer support the weight of the world on my shoulders, so I found a bench and sat down.
My mom’s voice chirped on the other end of the line. “Are you gonna be okay?”
Amidst my own worries, I had never asked myself that question. Would I be okay? Could I do this? Or was it really too much for me? I took a deep breath and collected myself.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” For the first time, in a small corner of my soul, I believed it.
I remember hanging up the phone shortly after that, and slowly getting up from that bench to go to lunch. As I walked, I noticed how green the leaves were on the trees overhead and the lush grass. Anxiety loosened its grip on my mind with each step.
So much beauty, love, and laughter would have been lost if I had given up on college before it even started. I survived that afternoon before lunch, and I can promise you, I more than survived the next four years. In fact, I don’t know if I could have survived without them.

A feeling too familiar.

To Drift like a ghost in the wind.

Falling for false claims from those who often say.

They love me.

They support me.

They’ll be there for me. (Right)

But leave without a sound or notion of why. (Is it me?)

You blame yourself.

You try to come up with reasons on why people leave as fast as the seasons go by.

Spring, Summer, Fall & Winter.

As we enter the realm of our mind, I eagerly hear the questions.

Will I ever be enough?

Enough to be loved?

Enough to be cherished?

Enough to be heard?

Enough to be seen in a world of obscurity?

Enough to stay for?

Within me, I can see how heartbreaking the mind can be.

The gut punching facts that the mind speaks of tragedies or feelings of hurt.

They remain to remind you of memories that make you doubt yourself.

You think a good thing is a bad thing.

You think you are not good enough to feel joy or to even relish the thought of peace.

You no longer want to feel.

You want to be still.

The breakdowns severe, it feels as our hearts trying to escape your chest.

Questioning my worth, that I have worthy embedded in my skin.

Hear when I say.

Yes, you are ENOUGH.

You will loved & cherished.

The support you receive will be with no question.

The one you truly love the most will see you.

You are enough to stay for.

We are divine beings whom deserve peace, joy and love.

We Are Enough!

To every version of me that was never enough,

Let’s start with adolescence
and travel through the years
Neglected as a child,
no one there to wipe your tears

You weren’t taught self-respect
Or that your mind had any value
You were taught that sex was cheap
With zero effort men could have you

You hid behind the booze
Because they kinda numbed the pain
You quickly lost control
And were unable to regain

You found yourself a mother
Before you started senior year
The man who shared the baby
Unfortunately, insincere.

The next ten years are blurry
A hurricane of lust and d ugs
Of broken hearts and empty smiles
And smoke-infested lungs

Men often saw a burden
In the place in which you stood
Because they can’t control you
And your mental’s not so good

In many ways they broke you
In body and in mind
You pretended you deserved it
But you can not be that blind

Your family and your friends
Jumped ship and left your side
When living was too much to bear
You would have rather died

Self-doubt bled into your life
In way more spots than one
Your exes sought out ammunition
You handed them the gun

They stripped you of the only thing
That really made you whole
You didn’t scream, you cowered down
As they inherited your soul

So many men with faces blurred
Have taken pieces of you
That weren’t on loan, or theirs to keep
So eventually you withdrew

You took your sanction, Owned it loud
As if you earned the retribution
You may as well have pulled the plug
A self-worth execution

You measured merit by fake love
And what you thought you had to offer
You forgot that you are also you
A mother and a daughter

You are worthy of the love you give
Maybe someday you’ll see
You don’t deserve abuse and fraud
Respect should not cost you a fee

Last I checked, you don’t lie flat
Outside of someone’s doorway
You have a right to voice your needs
And expect some mental foreplay

Maybe it’s time to consider facts;
until now you had no clue
You don’t need to be anything for anyone
As long as you’re okay with you.

Style score 62%

Dear Me from 4 years ago,

I know you weren’t thinking about winning the election. You weren’t a good enough candidate, and you had no experience. At least that’s how you saw the race. And your political party had not held a seat on the township board for years; correction, make that decades. In fact, they normally did not even run candidates for those township positions. Yes, I can see why you didn’t think enough of yourself to unseat an incumbent from the board.

Getting on the ballot was easier than you thought. You had the support from members of a local women’s group who helped get the 250 signatures you needed. But you knew getting your name on a ballot and winning a race against incumbents are two very different things. In your mind, you cast yourself as the underdog, and perhaps you were.

You ordered campaign literature and yard signs. Facebook posts and ads explained your views and positions. That was the simple part of the campaign. You wondered if you were good enough to hold your own at the candidate’s public forum. It was a good sign when opponents started agreeing with some of your talking points by the end of the forum.

Your confidence was growing until you tried to get an endorsement from a US House member. She told you in no uncertain terms that you were not running a serious enough campaign. Sorry, but she wouldn’t endorse you. I know that hurt, but it also steeled your resolve. You were no longer just running against some incumbent township board candidates, but you were running against the opinion of a sitting US Congresswoman who didn’t think your campaign effort was enough. You responded by working harder and smarter.

Sadly, it turned out that your campaign actually wasn’t good enough to get the most votes. You were not even close. You didn’t finish in second either. So close to third, but you fell short. Fortunately, four members serve on the board, and you finished comfortably fourth in the voting. Welcome to an elected office.

Here we are four years later, and you are now me, starting my second term in office on the township board after receiving the most votes of all candidates in the election two months ago. Discussions have begun about running for a county board position in 2028. Do I have enough in me to win? I think I just might this time.

Regards,
Me from today

Picture this,
The year was 1996, she was a few months shy of turning 11 yrs old.
Starts at a new school. Unfamiliar faces.
As the days go on, the voices from these unfamiliar faces start to haunt her.
Awake and in her sleep.
These words grow more harsh & uglier.
As the days turn into months;
she keeps every word, every emotion, every feeling inside. Like a full bottle.
Putting the “privacy” sign up on her body.
Her bottle is like the one she keeps at home –
shut tight.
Trying to open up wasn’t taken lightly at home. Her supposedly safe place. She got shut down.Why she hibernates the words spoken of the unfamiliar voices every day.

Were you able to vision all of that?

Okay, here’s one –

It’s now the year 2025 & she is a grown woman whose almost turning 40.
She started taking care of herself at the age of 33. A month shy of turning 34.
She jumped on the therapy couch like Tom Cruise did on Oprah’s couch.
Yes, that high too.
She started to open that bottle cap twist by twist. Some days it hurt the palm of her hand. The lid being so tight to twist or turn.
This unfamiliar face wasn’t like what she was shown decades prior.
This unfamiliar face was someone she felt safe with. Someone who got her to reach mountain tops she didn’t know existed.
Hurt her to the core yet she’s never given up.

If there’s a journal entry this grown woman could write to the 11 yr old girl in 1996, it’d go as deep as this –

Brave, that’s what you are. Even when the world was ugly. When the human race was trying to knock you down. Trying to cover you up with such disgusting words.
Beautiful, inside and out.
Even when you were covered with such hatred from the outside noise. You stood your solid ground. You marched to your own beat – even when those footsteps burned.

I’m here to tell you, young girl, you did it!
We did it! We put our front foot forward & kept marching. Look how stunning it all came about?
Yes, there were hazard lights in your way, yet you pushed till you couldn’t push anymore.
Your time has come, little one. You can rest your feet. Rest your mind. Keep your head held high & not turning back every few seconds trying to dodge those bullets.
You can unclench your jaw & release your shoulders. I got it from here.
You are safe. Safe from unfamiliar faces & their way of reaching for your dreams.
I got you. And I’m not letting you go. I can’t.

To that 11 yr old little girl who walked life with a full bottle – dump that expired liquid out. There’s no room for such where we’re headed. Plastic bottles are not allowed. Glass bottles are dangerous.
I love you. Let’s go crush this thing called life with our voices loud. So loud, it sounds as if a siren is going off in the firehouse. You deserve it.

Did you envision all of that?

Such clarity it brought this grown woman whose reaching 40. Letting her younger self know she’s worth it – always has been worth it – was everything. Brought proudness to her heart.

Picture this,
It’s the year 2025 & she’s more relaxed than she could ever wish for – thanks to her grown woman whose reaching 40.

Until we meet again! ♡

Writing Score 100%