to listen in order to speak,
to speak in order to be heard-
a human flaw we’ve come to
adopt
robbing us of the beauty of
what it means to be
human
to connect-
fully.

we live in a world where your response
matters more
than the proposal,
where the aftermath, the outcome,
is better than the journey-
we’ve lost the beauty in the becoming
too busy rushing to be.

we’ve adopted the butterfly
as the mascot of freedom,
her beautiful wings spreading wide,
ready to take on the world-
we neglect
what it took to get there
the caterpillar who lurks,
stuck in the before.

we celebrate our 18th birthday
then our 21st
then the 25th
and our 30th.
glossing over the others-
because, somehow
they’re unimportant.

and at 30,
you’ll wonder where your 20s went-
as if you didn’t
only celebrate them twice.

at 30, you’ll wonder where time went,
feeling like you lost your ‘prime’
as if,
during this time,
you weren’t just waiting for the next best thing:
turn 30, get married, own a home,
start a family.

now what?

you’ll wait to turn 40.
maybe gather family for celebrations
as you realize you are just a
watered down version of yourself-
the dreamer of your 20s slowly
slipped through the drains of a city
that used to inspire you-

you’ll wonder what happened to your zest,
when you stopped writing,
when you stopped looking up,
and looking down instead.

maybe-
you got too used to it
to enjoy it-
the architecture used to wow you,
now
you casually pass it by on your weekly Sunday walk to trader joe’s,
you don’t look up at it anymore,
or stop in the middle of the street
to capture the perfect photo,
one that will humble you-
and will live on,
or so you thought.

but it didn’t stop there,
you stopped smiling at strangers
you stopped losing your breath every time you saw the Manhattan skyline at night
your inspirations became too comfortable
and the appreciation swept away.

so what’s next?

you’ll turn 40 and realize half a life has gone by
since you last had a
lust for life,
half a life has gone by
since you last got your breath taken away
by the beauty of your new home.

so, you’ll spend the next 20 years
begging for your youth back
as the wrinkles multiply-
you’ll celebrate every
single
birthday
between 40 and 60,
because there is 20 birthdays inbetween
40 and 60-
not just four.

you’ll teach yourself the in-betweens
are worth celebrating too,
that turning 42 is somehow,
just as special as turning 21-

you’ll teach yourself that while
it feels like you have already lived so
many lives,
it’s still your first- and only- life.

you’ll teach your kids that you’re still growing up too-
that youthfulness and adulthood can coexist,
that 60 is the new 21
and to listen is
just as important
as to speak.

You took advantage of a vulnerable situation
Gave me your hand that led me to lies
I just wanted you to stay
Now I need you to stay away

Empty promises of passion and adventure
Sounded so great until you took it away
I wish I could hate you but I have too much empathy
Still, I hope you stay a million miles away

Stay with me
Stay away
Stop playing this little game
I wish you could take all the blame
We’re both guilty of the sky turning grey

In ten years you will be ready for something more
When you come I won’t answer the door
Permanently closed to the idea of reconciliation
I threw away the key to our ultimate fantasy
Stay where you are
Don’t come back to me

Down the Rabbit Hole

I tumble through shadows, stars in my eyes,
A velvet night sky, where silence sighs.
The walls of the tunnel, alive with my past,
Moments like whispers, they flicker and flash.

Sad times drip slowly, like tears from a stone,
Anger erupts where I stood all alone.
Laughter ignites like a flame in the dark,
Joy paints the void with a radiant spark.

I see myself giving, my heart stretched thin,
Smilin’ for others while breakin’ within.
Each frame a story, each ache, each flight,
A kaleidoscope spinning in endless night.

At the end of the tunnel, the cosmos unfolds,
Planets and universes, their mysteries untold.
A breathless horizon, a shimmering start,
A whisper that maybe, this time’s a new part.

I land in the glow, a world vast and free,
A rabbit hole journey to rediscover me.

High-quality, high times, feeling,
Optimistic about this moment. It’s
Untitled, put together like a puzzle.
Reality framed beneath the boarder
Serendipity, with the hours. With no (H) is
…………………..Ours

Grandmother Willow, Grandmother Willow, I come to you for your advice.

Can You Hear Me Through the breeze that sways within the trees? Like the leaves, I cling to you for life within your glorious crown. 

Young Seedling, I am here for you. I heard your prayers through my roots. I learned of your struggle from the birds that land upon my branches. 

Grand Mother Willow, Grand Mother Willow? 

What will become of me? I want to be tall and beautiful. Someone the World can look up to. What Will Become of Me if the Woodsman Chops Me Down. Down to the Ground, I would fall, laying waste at his feet as he stepped over me like I was nothing. Grandmother Willow What Will Become of Me?

Dear Sapling, the squirrels tell me tales of your Love towards them, feeding them before the Winter Frost and granting praise to them. Dear Sapling, the rabbits tell me the poems of their Trust in you. As you lead them to safe havens so they can create their dens for their families. Oh sweet Sapling, the deer trot with Joy through the Woods, singing an old song of your Survival and Strength that You have Honored them with. 

So, My Child Think Not of Tomorrow Because Your Presence is a Present to All those Young and Old, for the Owl of Wisdom Watches over You. She will Guide You to Become a Queen Worthy of Crowns of Adornment. And I, Your Grandmother Willow; will always shield you from the Storm of Self Doubt.

Dear Unsealed,

I wrote a little poem based on the fable of the Scorpion and the Frog. It reflects on our inherent nature and how it doesn’t necessarily dictate our fate. We all still have a choice, in the end.

SCORPION and the FROG

Let’s cross water together

I don’t want to cross alone

Like a dog without a bone

Or a bird in stormy weather

Climb upon my back

So we can take the journey

Cautiously and without hurry

Leaving ripples as our track

If you get the urge to sting

In the middle of the deep

Just put yourself to sleep

With the lullaby I sing

Sting me later if you must

I don’t mind the sacrifice

My heart will not turn to ice

Though your nature I don’t trust

Soon we’ll make it to the shore

Landing safely on dry ground

Where our nature can be found

In the way just as before

Do we part our separate ways

Or do we make the compromise

Not to live our separate lives

As our dark hairs turn to greys

And though love can turn to hate

If we don’t learn compromise

Pledge forgiveness in our eyes

So that nature’s not our fate

Alone but not lonely
Some just loan me their time, while
The sum adds up.
Im taking out loans,until,
I make enough to maintain alone.
Then I’ll invest it for my preference.
A loan, to be “alone” I’m just a loner.
Yet, far from lonely. Sometimes…
The question comes, Are you alone?
And the response in the mind is, if only.
Thinking about….
The outcomes & possibilities.

All of my deep fears
The monsters in my closet
Stem from this small thing

Procrastination
I say I’ll do this later
But the time is now

I don’t want to yet
This is all so very hard
To take in right now

I’d really rather
Scroll on social media
Than deal with this

Pesky task at hand
Veritable kryptonite
Anything but this

I’ll do this later
Let me crawl into a hole
And never come out

Then I tried this app
To beat procrastination
I was skeptical

Ten minutes a day
That I will try out this app
For my life to change

I figured, why not?
Only a small chunk of time
That’s all it would take

So I used the app
It seemed insignificant
Just a few modules

Immediately
It was life changing for me
I started on tasks

Not putting them off
I actually finished them
I felt accomplished

Overcoming fears
I did not know I harbored
Now I’m the victor

Instead of victim
I could actually do things
I felt empowered

No longer I’d wait
The absolute last minute
To get all things done

Heart skipping beats on narrow attic stairs,
           making hasty a getaway over thin air.
Chased by hazy visions from dreamy hells
            and the devils, too close at my heel.

Running down sharp walled halls
               too afraid to stop or fall.
Terrified of the sounds, lost hidden howls,
             all the fear my imagination’s found.

Fearing missteps with clumsy, unpopular opinions,
             always dreaming of lofty, aimless ambitions.
Climbing past the highest clouds, too afraid to leap,
       then falling over lazy hills, too anxious to sleep.

Agonizing and pointless routines when life in the light
and old obscurities mingle, and nothing feels right.
Reading and rereading, searching for a newer spark,
to illuminate glimmers lost in the endless dark.
 
Slowly wandering through and throughout  
            the deep twilights, me and my doubt.
Shutting off lights, walking without the fright,
           strolling with stars guiding in the night.

Seeing with clarity the emptiness
            hidden in shaded oblivions.
Dreading only the darkness
           that still lingers in me.

I am currently on a trip to New York, and during my devotional time in my hotel room this morning, I was suddenly led to write and share “Your Presence” here:

Your Presence is what I seek
Your Presence is where we meet
Your Presence brings me peace
Your Presence is for the bold and meek

Your Presence is unmatched
Your Presence is the latch
Your Presence I respect
Your Presence is where we connect

Your Presence is golden
Your Presence is emboldening
Your Presence beautifully mends
Your Presence is a gem

Your Presence is dependable
Your Presence is commendable
Your Presence is my truth
Your Presence is my root

Your Presence holds my hand
Your Presence is time with my Best Friend
Your Presence has no end
Your Presence is where I stand!

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

All this time searching for love
And the whole time it’s within me.
I Have too much to offer
I guess, I noticed once I turn
Towards the darkness.
Love finds it’s way back in.
Through another form.
Then quickly turns around
Looking Evol.
Some days that’s all I push out
Is evol. Then another
Love comes around helping
Me to evolve.
Becoming the light casting
Everyone’s shadow.
Comes very clear with the
sunrises & sunsets.

We’ve come to a
Stale mate,
No more moves left.
Time to start over or
Call it quits.

Don’t forget! You’re the “writer”
The “author” to your life.
Other’s are at best, narrators
To the situation
& like most, they’re gonna
Add their Lil flare to it.
“Emphasizing”
Certain moments & chapter’s,
With sounds & hand gestures.

Daddy, nobody told me the pain life would bring,
How the world would feel empty without your everything.
Birthdays now haunt me, and Father’s Day stings,
Each moment without you, sorrow sharply clings.

The day you left, my heart broke in two,
A piece of me faded, forever with you.
Every tear I cry, every ache I feel,
Speaks of a loss time cannot heal.

Call me selfish, but I need you near,
The one who gave wisdom, who chased away fear.
You lifted my burdens when troubles would rise,
Balanced my world and wiped tears from my eyes.

Daddy, you were my anchor, my first real love,
My guide in the storms, sent straight from above.
Nobody told me this pain would stay,
Missing you more with each passing day.

Love has never been a friend to me,
Yet I keep hoping, blindly, desperately.
Thinking, just maybe, this time it’s real,
A love that will mend, a love I can feel.

A love to heal what others have torn,
To soothe the ache from promises sworn.
They vowed they’d never do what others do,
But left me questioning if love is true.

You claimed there’d be no pain, no doubt,
Said you’d bring joy where life ran out.
You’d lift me up where others had failed,
But like the rest, your promises paled.

You stepped in while my heart was sore,
Made vows, then left me hurting more.
No better than the lies of the past,
Your love, like theirs, would never last.

Love has never been a friend, it seems,
Just a thief that haunts my dreams.
It collects my tears, then walks away,
Leaving me broken, day by day.

All it gives are scars and strife,
A cruel betrayal disguised as life.
Love, the foe I thought was kind,
Keeps tearing apart my heart and mind.