You were supposed to grow old with us… you weren’t supposed to go at 41. Your light shined too bright to fade out that quickly.
You accomplished so much in your four decades, but damn it, you had so much more to give…
The measure of someone’s life is not in the number of their heartbeats, but how many hearts they touched, and Dani, you touched them all!
Did you leave the world a better place?
Dani, you most certainly did!
You truly conquered life and every challenge it threw your way… you were as I had told you, a badass, a warrior, a fighter!
To paraphrase a famous poem, you did not go gentle into that good night. You raged against the dying of the light!
You were the person who other people admired and aspired to be like…
Your smile truly lit up the room and your laugh was contagious … people gravitated to you for that and your kind soul, which, even though you were a ginger, you definitely had, and it was beautiful! I will make sure your amazing soul lives on in everything I do.
You truly lived the Mrs. Crowther credo…
Be courageous
Care for others
A hero lives in you
With every heartbeat I’ve got left, I will make you proud, so that when we meet again and embrace, you will know that you were never forgotten.
Thank you for being you!
I love you Dani
I will always miss you
I will see you again
You sister Danielle sounds like she was an incredible human. And while she inspired many while she was here, she will continue to inspire those she left behind as well as many strangers who learn her story through you and others. Thank you for sharing and joining us last night. <3 Lauren
Releasing the urge to ruminate on things I need to control, fix or acquire
Focused on redefining my values and recovering my power to inspire
Harboring guilt, shame and fear are no longer on the table
This season is about letting them think, because I know I’m capable
Watching the feelings and old beliefs dissipate
Letting go of subconscious excuses to procrastinate
Taking action on these dreams, no time to hesitate!
Inviting love and compassion as filters to make decisions
Acknowledging that every experience teaches me how to move with precision
And knowing no matter how big the mistake, I’m never outside of divine provision
My trauma’s not an incision or justification for division
So I’m prioritizing clarity and harmony to activate my dreams and vision
In the darkness, I’m alone, floating on a cloud of dreams,
where reality blurs and paints a picture of my mind dancing freely,
taking solace in the emptiness,
escaping the inevitable
to a void where struggles on all fronts
dissolve.
To a single adult like me,
name any struggle you’re facing
and I can likely tell you
that I was there before coming here.
Still gonna be waiting for me
for when I get back though.
God, it was serene, the feeling,
like being wrapped in a cozy blanket
on a cool night in your bed;
while your worries melted like butter
into a fleeting absence.
And when there’s night,
there’s day,
and like the sun in the world,
yours will rise again in your mind,
which reminds me of
the one thing I always loved about
the darkness,
because in it there’s nothing there,
no light to illuminate
any harsh reality
or truth
waiting to cause havoc in
your heart and mind.
And if it were up to me,
I’d manifest my thoughts into a person,
and kill it
so my mind can finally have peace.
I’d stay in the darkness forever,
if that meant being free.
(I was inspired to write this just now at 11:34pm 8/27/24)
In the past, society has deemed mental health as a crisis or a “stigma” and if women showed any form of mental health issues, we were sanctioned to an asylum to live out the rest of our days. Some men as well. But, in 2024, mental health is still frowned upon. “Oh, what, in your life is so bad?” “No one will believe you.” “Your depression is just you being lazy.” etc…I have had the immense pleasure of working in the mental health field off and on for a very long time and I fall in love more every time I go back. It is not wrong to ask for help with your mental health. Forget about what your friends and family will say. Forget about what social media and film and television say about it. Just do not think for one moment that you do not deserve to be here. And every time you think you will end it all, remember, I am here for you, as are hundreds of others and think to yourself: “just one more chapter.”
Aww, don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. There is so much power in doing what is best for you, period. You should always pursue your peace and your happiness. Thank you for sharing, and thank you for being part of the Unsealed family.
Loneliness slithers in
Like an unsuspecting snake
Coiled around my neck
Struggling to breathe
With nobody around
To save me
In a crowded room
I feel so alone
Everyone has someone
But no one has got me
Each night I come closer
To a planned death
Because loneliness kills
I don’t belong anywhere
I’m not needed nor wanted
So why even bother
I’ll drift away peacefully
Forgotten easily
And never remembered
Kristen, I am so sad that you have ever felt this way. When you do, there are resources. I believe calling or texting 988 will connect you with a professional. You are an incredible human. And you are not alone. Sending you the biggest hug. <3 Lauren
Hi Lauren – Thank you so much for your kind words! I know I’m not REALLY alone, but my brain likes to lie to me and tell me untrue stories. I was having a really hard time the night that I wrote that poem. Thank you for your kindness. You are an inspiration to me! ❤️
Beautifully written. I think this piece of ART expresses a feeling that many of us are too afraid to admit. I’ve requested to be a pen pal with you. So that you never have to feel this way again.
Awww, you are wonderful! I accepted your request and would love to be pen pals with you! I also think a lot of people feel this way. And hopefully, I’ve helped them to not feel so alone as well. Sending hugs and love! ❤️
Oh raven you foul omen
Singing your song again and again
Your wretched melody
Humming through the wind
Beating against my eardrum
Slowly shredding against the red thread of fate
Perched on my shoulder as you patiently wait
Watching as the thread is continually thinned
Sitting there, just singing your perish song
Wishing to drag us both to a place where I do not belong
Oh how long shall you beckon?
Oh how long shall your song peck away at the worms crawling under my flesh?
Your damnable whisper, so gentle and somber,
Yet with every verse I feel the air growing crisper
Every score eats away at my sanity
Unraveling the very fabric of who I am, as you continue singing note after note
Never satisfied until the day I drag a knife across my throat
But raven, do you not see?
Oh raven, surely you must know that I shall not allow your symphony to be the death of me?
For now I beseech you to harken unto the joyous song which I sing
Praise unto the Resurrected King
The Divine Dove, who flew down from heaven above
Simply to grace me with His merciful love
Now the hope of salvation is within my reach
So away with your song of deprivation, oh raven
For now is the time for you to suffer my hymn
As I relentlessly give all glory and honor unto Him
May this sound be a torment, may your face be made grim
By the chords of a man now restored by righteousness’ blood
Because He has taken me by hand and risen me from dust to make me a king,
He has placed His Spirit within me, like placing on my finger, a ring
I am the beloved of Christ
Therefore I refuse to let you deceive me into thinking I am anything less
Oh, let this song be my shield as I sing it again and again
Now away with you raven, for you are nothing more than a foul omen.
we’re not meant to fight this battle alone
By: Jim Kellogg
(The Queer Poet)
8-16-34
for my niece, Malorie, and her legacy, “Malorie’s Place”
we’re not meant to fight this battle alone
a tired warrior’s cry
screaming in silence
crashing her soul into the world
battles fought valiantly
we’re not meant to fight this battle alone
scared
confused
wanting just one more hit
wanting just one more high
we’re not meant to fight this battle alone
the world crashing in
like the tide against the shore
eroding the vulnerable sand –
her escape, her sanctuary
we’re not meant to fight this battle alone
she wanted to be saved
by a regiment of purple winged angels
in the end
the battle was fought alone
Matty, I am so sorry for your loss. It was never your fault. Don’t feel guilty for what you could have done. Think of all the good times you two had together and the relationship you made with each other! That’s all that really matters. And I love your perspective that now that you have seen it happen once you may be able to prevent it if som…read more
Title: The Boy Named Rhett
Written By: Marli Wright
There is a boy, his name is Rhett, Heaven now his home,
He sings and dances on the clouds, before God’s throne.
He had to leave, reasons unknown, yet on earth his name we cry.
A love so strong, eternal, Rhett’s legacy will stay alive.
Children’s laughter is bright, like in Heaven’s skies,
Angels play and smile, as we remember them with sighs.
And every day, with tearful eyes, another angel friend comes to play,
Welcomed with open arms, may their journey be brightened each day.
In every moment, every breath we take,
Rhett’s spirit shines bright, guiding our way.
Though I held him only briefly, his love now lights my way.
In a classroom where dreams unfold,
Where tiny hands reach for stars of gold,
An angel’s spirit softly flies,
Not seen, but felt through loving eyes.
Rhett won’t be here to start first grade,
But with hearts so full of hope and cheer,
We send a part of him each year.
Books and pencils, crayons bright,
To light a young one’s world with light.
Each gift a whisper, soft and neat,
A reminder of Rhett’s love so sweet.
Though our angel’s seat remains empty,
His warmth will touch another deeply.
In these gifts, his love will dwell,
In every book and every tale.
He shares his joy through each small thing,
With every pen and each school swing.
And as the first-grade bell will ring,
Another day is now complete.
Little ones laugh and sing,
Of their days and tales they speak.
As you close the door each day,
Rhett’s love will gladly stay,
Preparing the room for a day anew,
And brightening it with sunshine’s hue.
That is Rhett’s way of saying “I love you.”
Rhett would have grown up to be an amazing person, having a leader like you in his life. You inspire me to be a better person. I truly admire everything that you are doing. He will always be with you ❤️
This morning, I woke up, and we were out of juice.
This morning, I woke up and we were out of juice. Juice that was meant for my kids. Juice that I had to get from the Christian help center because I had no money and no other way to get my kids juice myself. I got it yesterday and this morning, it was gone. And my boys didn’t even get a glass. It’s been a daily struggle to ensure the kids stay fed and hydrated, and my pops drank all their juice without a shred of concern for them, his grandkids. I woke up and there was no juice. And this same day I yelled in my 5-year-old autistic nonverbal son’s face that I wanted to die. It’s the day I cry all day, randomly, and I can’t stop them. I don’t even remember the last time I cried, and cried like THIS.. Something has changed in me. I’m not sure what triggered it, where it came from, or why it happened, but all day I’ve felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. Making it harder to take breaths and it was so heavy that it was just squeezing out everything in my life that contributed to traumatizing me or hurting me to my core. And as I talked to Jehovah off and on, I kept having epiphanies for my life. I told Him I could handle it, I just wanted to be able to heal but how do I heal if I don’t face it? How do I face it if I can’t see it clearly?
I like to think I’m strong but I’m not. I’m just unfeeling. Empty. A void so deep I can’t see my way through it.
Yesterday I wanted to die. Today I’m thinking about life with me gone.
All my life I’ve been raised and conditioned to avoid emotion. And I was the golden child because I did it so well.
Maybe if I’m gone, they’ll start having a conversation. Maybe they’ll realize I was a person who was never really strong; just somebody who needed someone to stay. Someone who showed up for ME.
I feel like I don’t have a real place in THIS world. What am I passing to my kids but more of the same? A quiet, passive emotionless, existence all because I don’t know better how to teach them any different.
Don’t they deserve better than that?
I mean every person I have ever loved has turned away from me to something better, someone else. They must know I’m empty and have nothing to offer. I guess it’s caught up to me because now that’s all I see.
I can barely feed my kids, or buy a pack of diapers for my son. I yelled in his face that I wanted to die. He doesn’t know any better. He is the purest, most innocent being and I am ashamed of myself. He deserves so much more. So much better than me. They all do.
Ever wonder how different your life would be if just one person in your life wasn’t scared to love you; if just one person didn’t walk out?
Ever wonder why you couldn’t just be like everyone else who’s blind to the truth and didn’t have to walk around with your head hung in shame?
Ever wonder what really makes you special as a human being?
Who am I when I’m not a mother, a daughter, or a friend; what if when you answer that question you realize there’s nothing that defines you?
(I just want you all to know that I am not suicidal, and I am in therapy. These are just thoughts that I believe many people have but do not voice in fear of other’s judgments.)
I write this so others know you are not alone and I love you!
Melinda, you ARE strong. Enduring all of that is not for the weak! You are capable of so much and even though life may seem to be moving slower that you want it to, that doesn’t take away from the value in your life and your kids lives. You will get through this, I believe in you!!
Behind the mask, no face to find,
A trick of mind, ‘neath sun that’s kind,
Yet rain pours down within the soul,
Where hidden truths take their toll.
“Get up, get on, you’ll be alright,”
The lies they tell ease the plight.
A crown once worn, now tipped and slanted.
Society’s stigma, harsh and untrue.
“Go out, be free,” they say, unaware,
That solitude’s chosen over despair.
In sorrow’s depth, alone you wallow,
While unseen, in code, for help you call.
Attention sought? Not even a hand to hold,
A listening ear, as your story’s told.
Over and over, being told “You’ll be okay,”
But will they listen, or just turn away?
Until the end, when all is read,
And in the paper, your name is led.
Will they see then, what they missed before,
Or just a picture, nothing more?
This is so well-written and powerful. I am sorry you have felt both unheard and dismissed. Your feelings are valid. If you are ever feeling sad, check out our resources page, theunsealed.com/resources. There are free resources for help. Sending hugs. <3 Lauren
Healing can feel 2 paths
The one with all the rocks
And the one with the steps to the mountain
The flowers that bloom for every little accomplishment
Finding the things that work for me
The constant therapy appointments
The constant doing things alone
Finding the peace with the sun
The peace with the birds and the breeze
The walking up on another chance
Another day
Closer to where I want to be
Closer to the northern lights
Closer to the place where nature is the most beautiful
Where the leaves stop falling
Where your so at peace
That nothing or nobody takes that away from you again
I think it takes a lot to find what in life helps you cope and makes you feel better. It is a constant journey on how to keep ourselves as balanced as possible. But the journey is worth it. It takes a lot of courage and self-awareness, so be proud of yourself. Thank you for sharing and for being part of The Unsealed. <3 Lauren
I knew you so well.
And I know as soon as you did it,
regret flooded over you like a river in a rainstorm.
You were filled with it.
Overflowing with sorrow of all you left behind.
Your family,
Your brother,
nephews,
and friends,
are left with unanswered questions
of why.
It was a mistake, we know it was.
And I am sorry.
That you felt so much pain in your heart
that you felt it was easier to not be here at all.
To take it all away from yourself like a thief.
Except you didn’t just rob yourself,
You robbed everyone who loved you,
Of all the years of joy and happiness that they should have had with you.
And never will.
One decision, one mistake,
and yet so many innocent people now suffer
the consequences.
In one instant an entire life in the making,
lost.
We were here
But we didn’t hear you calling our names.
But were you even calling?
“I’m sorry,” send.
For what?
“Love you.” Send.
What’s going on?
No answer.
Bang, gone.
22 years all down the drain,
22 years of laughter,
22 years of joy,
22 years of pain,
22 years of growing,
And learning, and making mistakes.
Except, this mistake you will never learn from.
And I continue to ask why.
But yet, I could not be in your head,
I could not feel your pain,
your sadness,
your suffering.
So who am I to place your blame?
If I could, I would have sucked it out of you like a vacuum,
Because you deserved better.
I tried to understand,
But I cant.
I know how it feels to want to end it all.
The emptiness,
The gut wrenching feeling that you’re not good enough.
The void that can’t be filled.
To shut the lights off,
Turn off the noise.
But even so,
I still can’t justify the mess you made,
Or wrap my head around the facts.
I cant believe what you are capable of.
My wounded heart just doesn’t understand
the wound you endorsed,
At the hands of yourself,
It feels surreal,
And I feel angry.
It feels like I’m constantly drowning,
And I’m trying to come up for a breath of air,
But someone is holding me down.
I see the surface, but just I cant reach it,
I’m out of control.
Or like I’m in one of those dreams where I am trying to run, but I’m stuck in slow motion.
Or the dream where you throw a punch,
but your fist is too heavy,
And it makes you angrier and angrier.
I’m so furious,
And I want to believe you’re at peace,
But how can I when you have been taken
From everything you love?
Your beauty was just too beautiful for the world.
Your kindness was too kind,
Your generosity was too generous,
Your personality was too big,
Your passion was too passionate,
Your strength was too strong.
You were too much for this Earth to handle.
Thats why she took you from us.
It took 22 years to find out
that you were too good for this world.
You wanted to receive your halo and wings early.
When daddy said you were his Angel,
he didn’t mean it literally,
But I guess you had other plans.
Now you will forever be 22 years young.
And I will forever wonder what could have been.