Hello friend,
I never thought I would get an opportunity to write anything to you other than perhaps a ulogy. I can’t believe we made it to 45. There were times I didn’t think you would see 30. Been through alot teen pregnancy, mental health diagnosis, a severe drug addiction it has been a wild ride to say the least. Here we are though. Living. Existing, and the best part is the sense of peace we have now. No more praying to get through the day. No more running. No more games. We got here though, fighting tooth and nail for every chance and every change. We learned that if you go out with no make up on the world doesn’t stop. We learned that going to bed at 8 instead of going out at 10 is ok. That solitude and silence is welcomed and not scary anymore. We are not perfect. Far from it but we are progressing. We are growing. There is a sense of calm over us these days no more chaos. We may even have become a little boring compared to our former self. A little set in our ways. I remember the days though that we prayed to be exactly where we are right now. Remember the day you got your first apartment? We kept looking at the keys over and over amazed that someone trusted us enough to have our own space. Our own little piece of this world. That happened only 3 years ago but that gratitude and the awe of being given a chance has not subsided. So yes…we made it. Things are good. Somewhere right now someone is praying to be where we are. Hoping to one day get that key and to embrace the silence instead of fearing it. So in conclusion I would like to say I’m proud of us, …of you. Never would I have thought we would get this far, but here we are. I don’t know what the future will bring. All I can say is hold on tight my dear because this crazy ride isn’t even close to being over.

Hello friends,
I’m Andrea and I’m an addict. So cliche trust me I know. It’s true though seriously I am. Drugs, food, shopping any and all things impulsive I’m in. Drugs is the front runner in my list of truths though. My favorite. I was able to look in the eyes of the people I was talking to, I was social, I felt “normal”. I thought I fit in and I thought I was so relevant. I was a mom, an employee, a friend. A functioning addict …a true member of society. I spent many a days looking out the window asking why and how did I get here? I spent many a nights working and hustling to support a now raging habit. I new death was imminent. One more contaminated move and it was over. I didn’t want to die. I just didn’t want to feel. Anything. I looked in the mirror one day and what I saw shocked me. My face with fresh sores picked through paralyzing bound of anxiety. My eyes looked a 100 years old while me skin aged a lifetime. I knew I needed to change. So I did. About ten years now. I’ll say though nothing prepares you for sobriety. All those buried feelings come right back to the surface. Raw, rare and exposed. It’s wierd to feel again, to feel human. I know now what I say matters, I hear my voice and I like the sound of it. There’s so much I don’t know. 20 years of hiding and wishing i was normal, which is just a setting on the dryer by the way…I’m now at a place of acceptance. I’m in recovery but am I truly recovered? I have urges sometimes….fleeting thoughts of getting high. The process. The chaos. The feelings or lack there of. I miss it sometimes, but not enough to ever go back. I’m lucky….I got out. I have a second chance, and I’m eternally grateful. I don’t know a lot but I know I just need to keep hanging on because my journey is so far from over. Thank you. We do recover.