Activity
-
Dana N. responded to a letter in topic Remembering those we lost/Grief 7 months, 1 weeks ago
Thank you so much. I definitely wanted to honor that sibling bond. There is not a word for an orphan of siblings so I wanted to explore that feeling and provide a space for anyone else who has shared that feeling. Even though my last brother is still around, coming so close to losing him really highlighted the fear of mine to lose him too young like the others.
-
Dana N. shared a letter in the
Remembering those we lost/Grief group 7 months, 3 weeks agoA Ballad of Brothers, A Sister's Lament
DanaWhen I woke up this morning
I didn’t know
What I would come home to.
Where did you go?
There wasn’t a warning
Now we’re all in mourning
Wond’ring if our time was well spent.Oh brother dearly departed of mine
Why did you leave
Without saying good night?
I was sleeping soundly
When I woke up to a scream
That I swear was you saying goodbye.As the time passes
We all start to heal.
Except for one brother
Who just couldn’t deal.
Several years later
All that reckless behavior
Just got him a grave next to yours.Oh brothers dearly departed of mine
Why did you leave
Without saying good night?
I was sleeping soundly
When I woke up to a scream
That I swear was you saying goodbye.Now there’s only one brother
Left standing with me.
I thought things were fine
Until he tried to leave.
In sharing this truth,
Though closer in youth,
I thought that our time was well spentOh brother nearly departed of mine,
Why would you leave
Without saying goodbye?
I thought that only you
Could understand what I’ve been through,
So at least it would be you
To say goodbye.Author’s Note:
I debated whether or not I wanted to share this with the world. It’s been a part of me for 20 years. It’s one of the most vulnerable parts of me and putting that on the internet for the world to see is intimidating, even as someone who sees vulnerability as strength rather than weakness.I wrote that second verse when I was 15 trying to make a song out of it, but more words never came no matter how hard I tried. As the inspiration came though me to write the rest this month, I realize now that I had more life to live before it could truly come to life. It needed to be on the back burner all this time to find the full depth of this feeling I will always carry with me.
I don’t know if I’ll ever try to turn this into a song like the original intent. Just writing that last verse, saying it all out loud, and writing this post have brought me to tears more than once. But it felt right to at least bring it to life as is because Jeremiah would be turning 40 tomorrow and that’s the kind of celebration you do big gestures for, right?
25 years without him, 9 years without Adam, 3 years since other things. This kind of healing doesn’t happen without scars. I am the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life. These feelings still creep in now and again. It doesn’t make me any less happy and healthy, it’s just a small price tag to pay for the love I still carry.
-
I’m so sorry for your losses.
This was beautiful written.
Sending you big hugs💜 -
Dana, this is a beautiful tribute not only to your brothers, but also to your strength in being able to remember and honor them. Siblings share a special bond, even if they aren’t that close as adults. Your vulnerability here certainly shows how strong you are. Thank you for sharing your experience and your beautiful writing.
-
Thank you so much. I definitely wanted to honor that sibling bond. There is not a word for an orphan of siblings so I wanted to explore that feeling and provide a space for anyone else who has shared that feeling. Even though my last brother is still around, coming so close to losing him really highlighted the fear of mine to lose him too young…read more
-
-
-
Dana N. responded to a letter in topic Remembering those we lost/Grief 7 months, 3 weeks ago
I love the perspective you chose to take in writing this. Living to honor those I’ve lost has been a large part of how I manage my grief as well. If feels like this is your reminder to yourself to do all of those things when it gets hard, and I know how hard it can get. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability.
-
& thank you for sharing as well. I think early along in grief, it can get very easy to be completely consumed – making it your entire personality or way of being. I think much of the time that I feel Jae’s (my friend) presence, she’s trying to remind that while it’s okay to honor and grieve her, it’s equally important for me to still make the most…read more
-
-
dananni23 submitted a contest entry to
Write a letter or poem to your younger self sharing what you love most about him/her 11 months agoLove Yourself
Dana A NanniDearest Little One,
You were always full of wonder, asking questions with depth beyond your years. Why was I born a girl at this exact place in time in this exact spot on Earth? How does reincarnation work? Why do some people discriminate based on age, orientation, financial status, religion, and/or faith? Certainly love is the answer, knowing no bounds, waiting patiently for us if we only have the courage to look.
You always spoke your mind even if you didn’t know it was impolite according to societal norms or expectations. Even if you did, I know you would have been fearless and persistent in your self-expression. You have always been deeply spiritual and never questioned the beauty of your soul. Blessed with the freedom to find deity all around, you found your own moral compass that suited you as a dedicated truth seeker and lifelong learner. This has led you on a quest for growth that is never ending.
You’ve always been a dreamer, seeking solace in your books. But you also had your own creativity, always citing your imagination whenever someone questioned where you got those ideas from. You never lose sight of the value that comes with playing pretend. Keep dreaming of how the world can be a better place and never stop using that to craft your goals in life.
Your natural resilience pulled you through so many obstacles, even when you faltered in the darkest of times. But don’t worry little one, that’s waiting for you in your teens and beyond. Just know that I am waiting for you, and all will be well.
If only you could see us now, I have every confidence you would be as proud of us as I am of you. Nourishing you is what pulls me through and keeps me going. In seeking all the love and light and happiness you were robbed of in those formative years, I find that I am reclaiming the self-love that always came so naturally to you. Yes, I have no doubt that I have made you proud.
Love, Your Whole Self
Voting is closed
-
Dana, this is adorable!! The love that you show towards your younger self is so admirable, as some wish that they would have acted, looked, or talked differently. I am glad that you always had a positive vision of yourself and never looked at yourself and thought that you were less than anyone else. You are you and you are SO creative, kind, and…read more
-
Aww this is great! I love that as you grew, you didn’t change but rather “nourished” all these qualities you already had. Thank you for sharing, and thank you for being part of The Unseald. <3 Lauren
-
-
Dana N. shared a letter in the
To my younger self group 11 months, 1 weeks agoLove Yourself
Dana A NanniDearest Little One,
You were always full of wonder, asking questions with depth beyond your years. Why was I born a girl at this exact place in time in this exact spot on Earth? How does reincarnation work? Why do some people discriminate based on age, orientation, financial status, religion, and/or faith? Certainly love is the answer, knowing no bounds, waiting patiently for us if we only have the courage to look.
You always spoke your mind even if you didn’t know it was impolite according to societal norms or expectations. Even if you did, I know you would have been fearless and persistent in your self-expression. You have always been deeply spiritual and never questioned the beauty of your soul. Blessed with the freedom to find deity all around, you found your own moral compass that suited you as a dedicated truth seeker and lifelong learner. This has led you on a quest for growth that is never ending.
You’ve always been a dreamer, seeking solace in your books. But you also had your own creativity, always citing your imagination whenever someone questioned where you got those ideas from. You never lose sight of the value that comes with playing pretend. Keep dreaming of how the world can be a better place and never stop using that to craft your goals in life.
Your natural resilience pulled you through so many obstacles, even when you faltered in the darkest of times. But don’t worry little one, that’s waiting for you in your teens and beyond. Just know that I am waiting for you, and all will be well.
If only you could see us now, I have every confidence you would be as proud of us as I am of you. Nourishing you is what pulls me through and keeps me going. In seeking all the love and light and happiness you were robbed of in those formative years, I find that I am reclaiming the self-love that always came so naturally to you. Yes, I have no doubt that I have made you proud.
Love, Your Whole Self
