Dear Unsealed,
WHEN DREAMS COME TRUE
DARE TO DREAM
Since I am almost seventy-five
I will tell you a story of my life behind my eyes.
I was one to read music magazines,
All the boy bands and whims
Of rock and roll
Blues and soul
At the incredibly youthful age of ten.
Yes, I did begin to dream to win.
I worked hard.
Played hard.
I studied hard.
It was the seventies,
Then the eighties,
Then the nineties,
I worked at the LA Times in the eighties.
End of the eighties
I was working as a makeup artist.
And let us wind down there.
You might not have time to spare,
As I have thousands of stories to tell
As deep as a wishing well.
The nineties were good,
As I was forty going on twenty-five
As it seemed to a few bees in a hive.
My first dream job was The LA Times,
But I met a man and forgot to be sublime.
My second job per say
Happened in freelance journalism and film
With my new guy
And no rhyme at that time
I worked with The American Indian Movement in the nineties.
I met john Trudell,
And that went well.
We were there to interview
For a documentary film
The Palomino Club of North Hollywood
So, I have stood
In so many good places and even on a whim.
I met Sonny Bono, the Mayor of Palm Springs at a POW WOW
So how
Did I do that you say?
That is for another day.
I joined up with Women in Film
On a whim.
The nineties came along
To sing another song
I met another guy,
A music writer by trade.
My new guy took me to a special party
In Burbank,
To a Christmas party
Really swank.
I dressed up in fancy high heel boots
To walk by my guy in his suit
My dress was a tight mini skirt and top,
And all were cream of crop.
We drove there to the valet,
Then I walked into the door with my guy
Waving at friends in high places
We were sitting at our reserved table
To wine and dine at the insatiable
CMA
Country Music Association Christmas Party
Music, dancing, food, and ‘party hardy’.
I could go on to tell you more,
But I will say later my friend
Before you get bored.
MUSIC TURNS MY WORLD!
This is a tiny burst
Of my adventures of blurs
And good times
Of rhyme
Or reason
For the season!
Love is real
It’s a deal
Of the good, the bad, the ugly
Of time spans of decades
Of love, heartache, laughter, blues
Facades
Of time
To smile at my life
The strife
At almost 75
I have written a song
From my back pages of strife of life.
My song, “I Woke up Alone”
The song
Was published on Apple
A full song on Spotify
Of life, love from above
To be a woman at 75
Alive
Still rocking & rolling
To the beat.
The publication of my song
Was to say the least
My newest job of sweet sighs
Of “I did it.”

Hi Joanne this message is or you
I’m writing this down because some things have come true
I found a love in someone who treats you as a Queen
I also know people who appreciate your dream
Your poetry has touched so many lives, many are out of sight
You are no longer being teased for being too skinny or your height
You bring joy to those around you
No more feeling isolated in a corner, and believe me it’s true
Your words fill lives and so many different pages
It’s touching everyone, in all ages
No more having people steal from you for their own personal gain
You turned into a beautiful woman and have your own personal fame
You’ve overcome so many obstacles, your blessings are pouring in
Not only do you see it in the physical sense but also from within
Your story is not over there is so much more to be said
But I had to write this quickly before I got out of my bed
Your future is very bright so don’t you dare to worry
Take your time growing up there is no need to be in a hurry

It had been months . Sometimes preplanned but mostly self invited, her visits were routine. She consistently crept into my head night after night to be my recurring dream.

But who was she?

She was openly Prolife! That’s the way she had always felt…in an apolitical kinda way. Always wearing her heart on her sleeve ,her calm,self assured,mature demeanor was intriguing to some and threatening to many.
Who does’t struggle with that pesky wont go away water weight, right??
So did she. But she owned it.
Her blemishes, her assessts, her faults, her perfections, her idiosyncrasies- they were all her’s. She took pride, protected and flaunted every inch of her being.
What surpassed her outer charm was only her inner beauty.
She was a natural nurturer and a compulsive giver. Her warmth and kindness was magnetic. Everyone wanted to spend time with her, some lusted her and many craved for a piece of her.
But where there is beauty there is also the unsuspecting beast lurking close by.

Her naivety led her to those who knew no better.
Repeatedly tortured, abused,
stripped of dignity, she was abandoned and left to perish.
Her frantic pleas for help fell on tone deaf ears.
She felt violated. Her spirit molested, her body brutalized and her core being shattered.
She had lost the will to exist.
Plunging herself into flames one day, she let the heat engulf her entire being.
Taking with her, her progeny that was impregnated in her belly.
And just like that one night she vanished.
I rubbed my eyes, and came out of my slumber. And it all made sense.
Awakened by a rude reality, finally I could see.
She was mother earth and watching her silently go each night was me , you and everybody.

So I had a dream about my wife,( the problem was I wasn’t married) I had looked continuously and came up unsuccessful, my assistant pastor, told me to quit looking and give half my cell phone bill to God and put on there GDS( GOD’S DATING SERVICE) and I did , well I decided slip and call a dating service ( my cell phone bill was a 1,000 dollars) but I met a girl from South Dakota I’m from SC, well she told me about her friend and her friend and I hit it off, we talked for 2 hours minimum every night.On August 8th we would finally meet, we spent the week together, i decided to drive her home unexpectedly in my 94 Nissan truck and I didn’t check NOTHING, I met her family and we hit it off ( AMAZING PEOPLE) Connie would move down with me and on Feb 25, 2005, we would get married.She is my best friend and my dream wasn’t fake.NEVER DOUBT GOD.

It seems like every day a dream comes true.
I get to wake up
feel the warmth of the sunshine on my skin
take my first breath of the day
lift my arms, wiggle my legs
take the biggest stretch I can
Filling my body with so much love
Every day is a dream.
It’s another chance to make someone smile
or to laugh
To feel all the bubbly emotions inside
To embrace who I am
to the fullest
Allowing myself to shine
Expressing my passion through art
or words
Sharing myself with those I love
I am living my dream
I get to wake up and be me
with no shame or judgement
and no fear of trying to be someone I’m not
This whole life is a dream
It’s a chance to explore me
The real me
The one who gets to dream

Blessings swirled and danced and wove themselves through the lives of my capable friends, but seemed so unattainable, amends unavailable, to me and my sick intents.
Most days were spent in a thick, foggy haze, plagued with the side effects from alcoholic ways.
Ever drained from manufactured chaos.
Long nights with short payoffs.
And I was cocooned, bound and corrupt, drowning in my poisoned cups.
Doomed to combust.
Further fast-tracking my funeral once I discovered the stronger drugs.
But one day, BAM, a clarity!
A lightening bolt of serenity.
It just hit me – this mystery – a jolt to rewrite my history.
A new journey to heal after a decade of trouble and tragedy.
I could really feel.
This was a miracle I was too long scared to acquiesce; that is until I became more scared of impending, ultimate death.
I had found my hope and I wanted to really live, not just cope.
But I harbored so much jealousy and envy, it pooled and boiled within me, resentments lengthy. I was bitter at social media posts, vacations and dinner toasts, and those who were joyful and friendly I saw as an enemy – such a manic psyche in frenzy, anger too plenty.
So I took a personal inventory, being fearless and thorough as a moral explorer remembering to not rest on my laurels marching forward with decorum.
Apologies were spoken, forgiveness was given, and something that was broken within me now awoken, a new beginning.
I couldn’t believe all this emotion, the cosmos burst open for me to be free to see reality, breathing sober breaths.
Many people helped pull me up and out from Hell’s deep despair depths to where I could be content simply living in the present.
The cliche’s like, “poor me, poor me, pour me another,” I’d discover, were just one of the many clever motivators to help me recover.
In time I would find on this brighter side that if I did what was advised and followed my spirit guides and applied principles learned and tried to purge the pain, then blessings would emerge and inspiration would surge to unlearn a lifetime of my survival skills that no longer served.
What was once inconceivable, an existence so unbelievable, finally made achievable, and with a lot of effort and belief I processed my trauma and grief.
I entered into a new season of mind, something divine, one of intentional design after the old me died.
And happiness and sobriety were not just a naïve fantasy, but an actual goal I could and did achieve.
Today I can say I’m proud of who I became without shame or blame and reframe my past as a gift I purely needed to unpack.
I’m thankful for the positive impact that negative experiences can refract back.
I no longer lack or feel trapped or need to distract from life’s ebb and flow because I know no matter what I undergo, even a heavy blow that can knock me low, will only bestow lessons through which I get to grow.
This meaningful life, once a dream, is now a very real thing, and at the center of my world, with clenched fists unfurled, I embrace all the love that I’ve always deserved.

Long Ago
I wrote a poem
I titled it ‘My Lovely Dream’
It spoke of tears that fell from me
After life was ripped from womb
And I was told
I would never have my life’s dream
But….
As the world shut Down
A mystery solved
Missing puzzle piece found
You were living
Growing inside of me
Tina Marie
Told so many times
A Mother – A Mommy
I would Never Be
My Sweet First Born Son
You Have Became
My Loveliest Dream

Our purpose in life isn’t random
Our dreams are made from the elements of
Our soul
Our passions
Our experiences
Our God given gifts

My dream to become a Mother has been in my bones since before I can remember
But it isn’t just biology
My dream was built on my infinite capacity for love
It was built on my naturally nurturing soul
It was built on my caring nature
And compassion I hold for all
The grit I have to persevere in hard times
And the confidence in myself to tenderly raise a human
In this world, that while beautiful, is not without cruelty and suffering
A human who could meet that world both strength
And a heart for love, too

I was in a marriage
That was akin to two puzzle pieces forcing themselves to fit
That made me feel alone, even when in the same room
And as years passed – so did our shared dream of parenthood
He no longer desired children, with me at least
Nothing crushes a soul more than a broken dream
And I questioned; how will I move past this
How will I ever be blessed enough to have a love required
To make my dream a reality

But our soul’s desires don’t fade
I managed the courage to leave
No matter how shaky I was packing those bags
And calling that lawyer
And going on dates: something I never thought I would ever do again

To my surprise
The love I’d been seeking for a decade
Was waiting all along
And the surprise of a lifetime
Turned into my dream of a lifetime
As I type this, watching my little miracle fast asleep
My sonshine will rise again this morning
The light of my dream sitting right in front of me
Will never cease to amaze me

A childish dream…
A simplistic scheme…
To be not a man but a myth, or rather a man who doesn’t exist
A silly desire that continued to persist
But as to how to pursue, I had not a clue
Until I realized, I’m the point in which two bloodlines converge
And I loved the way their names sounded when merged
Thus Donald M. Clyde was born
To hide myself, he was my mask worn
Under his guise I started to write
And as people responded, my heart was full of delight
Until I started to write under my God given name
Only to see life play a sick little game
The bitter irony of using a pseudonym…
To see people not like me, as how they loved him
And thus I’ve found myself taking up his mantle again
And see myself as a man who’s been enslaved by his pen
Just wishing that the world would know my name’s….

I’ve had my share of dreams and goals
throughout this skyward climb—
have hustled, slaved, and sold my soul
at least five thousand times—

all rocket fuel injection founts,
plans realized or not;
ascension parted clouds of doubt
for me, the astronaut.

I soared past childhood fantasy,
explored familial moons,
then looped a distant star or three—
my focus all-consumed—

in search of true enlightenment
to sate the blackest hole;
event horizon’s discontent
demanded full control—

devouring each new career,
each studied course with verve;
I never dared to interfere,
rode stardust’s shimmer surf

until my suit was frayed and dull,
my helmet webbed and chipped;
the time had come: a glowing hull
endured re-entry’s trip.

Adventures through the universe,
though shaping, took a toll;
when fragile bones touched down on Earth,
they garnered strength from scrolls—

the very scrolls I’d long outrun,
entranced by distant skies,
so sure of fate beyond the sun—
a poet in disguise.

As a child, I went so mild-to the Best School in the world
Southeast Elementry, Kindergarden was plenty-even grade 3 had a sweet girl.
Poor with nothing else, but was so happy-most everyone had such cool stuff.
Free to learn Mr. and Mrs. alphabet-and the menu at lunch was so much!
So I learned how to put those letters together, and write my heart so young
And never thought I’d see the day-I’d be writing from “The Unsealed” Love!
The kids then at School, I remember so cool-how they all truly was
Now yrs. gone by, they still are cool-though life makes me cry from above!
Was not fair for them, nor me, nor any-how things turned out as they did,
Though tradgety so far makes many alarmed-Adults reap the good sown as kids.
So all to find, all reap some good-at different levels, experiance normally would
Take the cons with the pros-could of been a prep, but had to be a hood.
Went so fast, I tried like crazy-to keep my grand childhood free…
But was taken soon, as a swift blast-so God gave Grace to me!!!
By grade 6 I was sick of the sticks, where my Dad moved us all out so-
Therefore I took and ran away-and ran so mad, everywhere I did go!
Drunk and high all the time-every reality I had to escape
My lost soul out of control-so long my madness, lived in the hate.
But this is not about, how I dropped out-of the Southeast Pirates School
It’s about how I wanted all along-again to be so happy and cool 🙂
More yrs. gone by, deeply stuck in pride-But bottomed desire comply,
To the time I wished I could be-the such happy kid I thought to hide.
Then from the Best School in the world, to the school of streets’ hard knocks-
I waited, and waited, and waited a lot…Until by God I was finally caught!
Then He took me to the place-And enrolled me in the School of Amazing Grace!
Now by the faith of my inner child-He took me off trial-For Jesus to pay my fair!
And I tell you all the while-come to find out, He really always did care!!! 🙂
October 18th, a life-changer indeed, He made this broken man complete-
And showed me the way to jump in the hole, and guide the others out of defeat!
Yes, I graduated and He gave to me-Eternal Life when I was dead…
Now everyday is made brand new-in the School of God’s Grace Again!!! 🙂

Yes, Dear world, on His time-He made my dream come true!!! 🙂

*PRAISE HIM*

I’ve had a few dreams already come true, but some I’m still working on. But with hard work and dedication, I’m sure I’ll make it happen. My most recent dream that came true, was being featured in a best seller’s book.

Growing up, I always used to read the, Chicken Noodle Soup For The Soul books. They were books made for kids, teenagers, adults, pretty much for anyone who enjoyed them.

They had inspirational stories, poems and sometimes even songs written in them from real people and their real life experiences. True stories. I loved reading them whenever I was down, upset or just needed something to lift my spirits. Those stories of others always inspired me in some ways. Ways that helped me understand that whatever I was facing at the moment, others had gone through them too, if not sometimes worse. But somehow, those whose story I was reading, they made it out on the other side of whatever it was that they were facing. Which gave me hope and strengthen my faith that I would too.

After reading those books, I always dreamed of being featured in one of those books. So that I could tell my story just like they did, and inspire others, just like how they inspired me. I just didn’t know how I could make that happen. I didn’t give up, I just was unsure of how it would happen.

Until one day, while strolling through Facebook, I saw an ad for a writing contest for a website called Unsealed. At first, I thought that it’s just a chance to write and release some of the things that I needed to release as while starting my healing journey. But then I saw and realized that it was so much more. That it’s a community of people, writers, artists, friends to share their stories and also listen to each other, to uplift one another. Which I love. Not to mention, my story that I shared would be featured in a book. A book that is very similar to the books that I read and wanted so badly to be a part of. It wasn’t that exact book, but still my dream of my story being shared in a book, for a chance to be read by someone that could also inspire them……. My dream finally came true.

I do wish to do more, because I have a lot of stories to share. I want to take this time to thank everyone involved in the creation and success of The Unsealed community/website/books. You’ve helped me continue to do the work necessary for my healing journey, and you helped me make one of my dreams come true all while being introduced to some amazing people that I too can learn from. Sharing our stories in love and showing true compassion towards one another. See, dreams really do come true. True Story.

I love the way you never give up. I love the way no matter how ruthless, mean, harsh kids were you never stopped being you. You never gave in and became a bully yourself. You always loved so hard with all your heart. You were always there for anyone and helped them to see the light out of the darkest times possible. You had such charisma and character always going above and beyond. You took the cards you were dealt and handled them.