Your body—a microcosmic ecosystem,
an orchestral orgasm where every resonance
sings in harmony with your heartbeat.

Your mind—a slippery survivalist,
a battle between contours,
the subconscious reflected
in every perception,
every perspective.

This is
your history to rewrite,
your legacy to ignite
in each breath,
each moment.

This world as you know it
exists only while you’re in it.
So own it.
Mold it.
Rock n’ roll it.
Do unto life and love as you feel fit.
Say what you wish and see what becomes of it.

Life is like your favorite pair of shoes.
Every step you take is in the right direction,
Even when you’re hesitant.
Growth.

Sometimes, you may get a little worn,
Maybe scuffed, but you don’t give up.
Just buy some cleaner
And brush the battle scars off.
Resilience.

Then grab some polish to shine them up.
Good as new, on to new beginnings.
Persistence.

Why throw away a perfect pair of shoes because they’ve walked a few miles
And don’t smell as fresh as they used to?
You could easily keep using them to step over obstacles and remain grateful for what they’ve gotten you through.
Reflective.

When time-worn, they’re at their best because you’ve lived some life in them.
The lessons learned through many journeys is what makes them your favorite.
Wisdom.

Hello World!
Last year on June 30th, I lost my sister unexpectedly. Thirty days later I lost my dad to cancer.
In December of that same year, my husband lost his mom and dad nineteen days apart. They’ve been my family for over forty years.
My sister and dad were two completely different types of death, two different kinds of grief, and all of these deaths were too close together to grieve each one in the way they deserved. But as time has passed, I’ve been able to grieve them individually.
With a lump in my throat, I search for words that will send love, support, and encouragement to all who are grieving, have grieved, and to those who will one day.
It’s a universal human experience and we will all know it intimately.
I begin my letter to you with this… I don’t believe there is a “grief expert” who can tell us how to navigate this very personal experience. However, I do think that sharing how we feel with others who are also grieving can be helpful.
My recent experience has taught me that we all accept, process, and learn how to live with loss in our own time.
That there is no right or wrong way to do it. That we all need to be free to experience grief in whatever way helps us move with it.
Note: we do not get over it or move through it. There’s no other side.
We move with it. It changes, we change, and we move together – us and grief. But it’s okay if you don’t move for a while. If you need to stay still for a little bit. I did.
Nobody can advise you on what to do, how to feel, or where you should be in your experience so don’t ever feel like you “should be” …. (fill in the blank)
It’s all up to you and these things will happen just as they should. We can see this when we lose a family member and notice how each person grieves in their own way and in their own time.
It’s so important to respect and support that. To give each person the time and space they need without question.
Someone once told me that, “grief is as unique as our fingerprint and no two people will experience it the same”.
I’m so happy to share that with you because it gave me so much comfort in my early grief and continues to do so.
It’s been a little over a year now, and I’m still grieving my family although the heaviness of it has lifted.
The pain and sadness are much lighter now, even though it feels deeper if that makes sense.
At first, everything was so heavy and on the outside. The memories were of death. The tears were falling whenever I spoke of them.
But as time passed, I began tucking pieces of the good memories inside for safekeeping and could speak of them without tears.
Sometimes, the memories will show up randomly and I smile because I’m so grateful for them. For the love we shared.
And now when I cry, my tears feel more like soft rain – not a raging storm.
As I sign off, I will leave you with this… even though it feels like you are not supposed to be happy or you shouldn’t laugh because they don’t get to anymore, even though it feels like you don’t know how to be in the world without them – like you no longer know who you are or what you want to do, things will get better.
They will never be the same, but they will get better. You will learn how to navigate life without them physically present. They will still be with you but in a new and different way. They never really leave you all the way.
You’ll see, I promise.
Love,

Oh, Life! What are you to me, as young as I?
Should I grace you to see the days go by,
Or see my loved one born, grow, wed and die?
‘Tis sad that my contrast feelings are tied.

Don’t mistake me for I am grateful,
But could I tell others that you’re faithful?
Could I tell them that their dreams grow graceful?
Would all hard efforts not be wasteful?

Folks, perhaps we confuse you so much with Fate,
And our dreams or goals may come another date,
Yet we thought our actions determined our State,
In the end, it’s our realization come late.

Oh Life! What, as young as I, are you to me?
Ups and downs as difficult you could be.
Would things get better? “We’ll just have to see.”
If dreams or nightmares happen, then c’est la vie.