Vibrant butterflies circled around my ancient family tree. Without permission, tired of their mission being belittled, they invaded my soul with wings of light on the day I was born, to warn that those of my past were ignorant and never listened to their message. With me, they are violent, for they would rather fade away than watch another generation pay in life for the traumas of their ancestors.

In me, they find a new vessel. Butterflies, relentless and free guiding me through ancestry.

In the sky around that tree, their beauty can’t hide. But in my gut, their wings disrupt. As they disturb my digestion I understand better how they are corrupt. With cunning masked, they seem so pure. They often test my naivety, making me believe I don’t need food.

When they enter through the throat, they block the passage of my saliva. Resting on my cords, my voice they seize. Speechless, I’m left, at risk, unease. At night they keep me awake visiting heavy memories and unfulfilled dreams. They make me dream of soaring high, yet fail to warn before I fly. To touch the sky, I must first crawl, like caterpillar, dirt and all. Breaking the bubble, setting me free, only then can I truly be.

Sometimes they manage to enter my being while I sleep, and their fluttering is the first thing I feel long before I hear the alarm ring. My heart, it races to their tune. A drumbeat in a quiet room.

They migrate towards my legs and tickle me so much, that they push me into an abyss where they deprive me of the tranquility of the present. Thrown into nowhere, lost in the mist, alone with my thoughts, on a journey I twist. No maps can guide this path unseen.

Scientists name it the future.

These creatures gifted me a prize; the gift to feel beneath the skies. A potent weapon, oft unseen, the power to grasp what life may mean. Once seen as a curse, now I reveal; It’s true worth, my life’s appeal, the title of my story, and the salvation of my future generation. What I once interpreted as a wicked spell has turned into light, guiding me through the darkest nights.

The butterflies only punish me when I resist and refuse to discover the reason for their visit.

They are merciless when I confine them in a box and try to manipulate the direction of their route. I try to control, but lose the race. The universe yields when I let go and dance in their flow. The drum melody sung by the beats of my heart never allows me to waste a second on this earth, where what is bland to many is the root of a great story for me. Butterflies guide, with their flight, and only in their rhythm I find delight.

My organs call it anxiety. I call them butterflies because they teach me how to fly in a world where one can only walk.

Butterflies, hidden gems I’ll forever posses, the only thing I love about myself.

I like the way
You get gripped
In the palms of a man
Ravenous in his pursuit
To hold everything
From my neck
To my hips.
He takes his time
With you
Because he knows you
To be special
To be precious and beautiful

I’m sorry
I had to see your beauty
Through someone else’s eyes.
So now,
I write this poem with pride
Waving my pen like it’s
A flag for my flawes.

So let this serve
As a love letter
To my love handles
A memento
To my muffin top
A song for my stretchmarks
A poem for my pudge
Feels for my fupa
Cuz I ain’t missin no meals

Let this serve
As an apology
To some of the best parts
Of my body.
I was told to shame you.
Taught to be embarrassed
By you.
I’ve tried to chase you away
Dance you away
Bike you away
But you’re persistence
Perseveres –
And inspires me.
If you can hold on
Where you’re told you don’t belong,
Where might I learn to rise
Despite resistance?

So thank you.
Thank you for
Inspiring.
Thank you for
Stretching.
Thank you for
Protecting.
Thank you for
Making outfits
Someone else said
You would ruin.
Thank you for
Being there for lovers.
Thank you for
Being there for me.

Finding faith, Feeling high,
Figuring out Falling low,
Falling asleep Finding flow,
Having doubt (is this a haiku?) Making more room to grow.

Hello Love,
I wanted to stop in and tell you why i love you..
I love you because you’ve always believed in rainbows and unicorns even when the world proved that to be untrue. I love you because even when you did not want to keep going, even when you didn’t know how, what or when, you just kept going! I love you because of your fearless attitude and faith, you’ve never been afraid to dare the devil and walk away for better even when it took everything in you. I love you because even when the world made you believe you didn’t deserve love you still chose you and chose to love yourself anyway. I love you because you always chose kindness and love even though all the world has shown you is broken hearts and broken trust. I love you because you choose love, you choose to express love to the world by smiling at strangers and sharing affirming words. I love you because you remained grateful even when you had nothing but life to be grateful for but as your aunt would say “Once you have life, you have everything! What’s not dead, don’t throw it away!”.
I love you because you dared to want and try to go after something different from what you grew up seeing around you.
I love you because you said “It stops with me!’ you saw the patterns you didn’t want to be. I love you because even when you had your own storms to mop up you would still help those you love mop their puddles.
I Love you because you always believed in luck, even the times when you were fed up and saw no such sign. I love you because you chose to “be the change you want to see” and even when you don’t get the claps and congratulations you keep going. I love you because you decide time and time again that you deserve the utmost best!
I love everything about you even when your perfectionism gets in the way of things, but that’s exactly why i love you because you are perfectly imperfect regardless of what the world expects from you.

genuine, whole hearted, full send 0-100.
pinky promises with a side of sticky noted kind words–and those reminders I know you’ll forget about otherwise..
the ‘who are you when no one’s watching?’ type of real, and the ‘don’t do something to someone that you wouldn’t want done to you’ type of deals.
work hard, work harder, then play a little harder too.
the little bit of ‘extras’ with a side of ‘I was just thinking of you.’
values that hold a foundation, respect that demands the arrival,
honesty to keep it all true, and humbleness to bring the pieces full circle.
finding strength in the harder things, while staying grateful too–
using the big girls’ voice, for the ones who get swept under the rug
Team Tippy Toes for the ones told to ‘stay small’
putting both feet back down to stand for the principles that matter
and reminders of “one day at a time” for those forgetting who they are–
stay humble, stay kind, stay genuine, stay true,
stay weird, stay you.

3 Tippy Toe steps forward, and 1 of em’ back,
well hey, that’s still progress–
and I love you for that.

–xoxo,
A

In the dance of life, I find joy’s embrace, As adaptability paints my grace. Like a river, I bend, I sway, Navigating challenges, come what may. Resilience blooms within my soul, Turning adversity into a goal.
From trials, I emerge, strong and bold, Every setback a tale of stories untold. Confidence is my guiding light, Illuminating paths through the night. With self-possession, I stand tall, embracing uncertainties, I conquer all.
When darkness looms, and shadows grow, I pick myself up, ready to show, that within me lies a power untold, to rise again, resilient and bold.
Flowing with life’s ever-changing stream, I embrace each moment like a dream. With every twist, turn, and ebb of the tide, I find solace in the journey, nowhere to hide.
So, I love myself for who I am, A blend of strength, grace, and inner calm. With adaptability, resilience, and confidence, I journey through life, embracing the view.

Falling in love with myself was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Loving myself was not love at first sight.
Or maybe it was.
But that means the love was lost somewhere ,
Maybe during one of those long summer nights.
But I’m not sure if the love was ever there.
maybe it’s always been a constant fight.

But I do know it’s about time I write myself a love letter acknowledging and admiring the love I have for myself.

So Dear Self
How are you?
I wrote to say
I am completely in love with you.
This may come as a shock because I don’t show you as much as I need to.
I love you so much.
Not just because of the cute face or big butt.
You are truly amazing.
you feel like home to me now.
I feel safe when I’m with you.
Because after all that we’ve been through
the self doubt and not thinking we’re good enough to do what we wanted to.
I love your goals,
Keep thinking out of the box.
Aim for the stars and never stop.
Keep going until you’re out of this world
And never compare yourself to any other girl.
You can’t compare apples to oranges,
You are something from another galaxy.
You are otherworldly.
YOU ARE so worthy,
Of everything that you can ever imagine
You deserve roads paved with gold,
Men kneeling and kissing your toes
YOU ARE a goddess.
And that’s enough said
Everyone knows when a goddess walks into the room.
Because what she demands is RESPECT.
You are valued by me.
And I appreciate you truly.

I’ve learned that love is a choice,
Love is a decision.
And I notice something else everyday that makes loving you a clearer vision.
I made it my mission to love you through and through
For all the times you felt like nobody loved you.
And if no one tells you today I love you
and may your heart continue to be filled with love from any and every which way.
yours truly.

It’s hard to come up with reasons to love myself
The mean words get stuck on my shelf
But for this prompt, I will give it a try
Dear self, I love the way you look at the sky
When you see a sunset, bird, or plane
And the music you listen to on the train
Thank you for being my constant number one
For letting me relax with friends and have fun
I love that you’re so funny
And just as sweet as honey
I love that you have so many passions
And have a true taste for fashions
I love your poems, writing, and art
Why do you think you’re not smart?
I love your blue eyes, little glasses, and curly hair
So there is no need to compare
Yourself to girls who have a boyfriend or seem outgoing
Know that you yourself will always be glowing
And when the right time comes, you’ll find one too
So there is no need to be blue
See, it’s not that hard to love yourself
Can you try to keep these words on your shelf?

“To Love Herself”

For years and years, you’ve walked this earth, blue eyes taking in the sites.
What have you seen, what have you learned?
Oh little girl, are you concerned?
For years and years, and many more years you’ll grow, shine, and love.

Forevermore, if there is an ever more,
You wander toward your goals, with patience and ease.
Gliding through, envy, and things that have destroyed you.

Little girl, grown up to be a woman, forced into womanhood too young.
What have they done… How 25 treats you and your blue eyes…
It is like the sun met the moon.
Confident, creative, and sometimes crude.

Your life is why I love you.

Warrior, you have been battling for 913 days
Radiation, surgeries, chemo times two
Just breathe
Mama, you persevere through the tired and the pain
Your girls admire your strength and grit
Just Breathe
Daughter, your family, chosen and blood, surround you with their love
Although it is difficult to watch them experience this madness along with you,
Just Breathe
Lisa, your faith is strong and this battle has been too long
Yet wake each day and smile
your positivity is contagious and your courage is that of a true warrior
Just Breathe

light and dark.
Meant to represent balance.
But in my chest represents the madness.
But I feel a special light.
It’s undeniable, my spirit is incredibly bright.
Then there’s the uncertainty – the darkest dark, the hardest part.
A pair of doubt and desire for the coldest walk in the park.
Light and dark coexist but the balance was off.

that damn chip
Weighing me down – sullying my light and enriching my dark.
Some days are hard.
But I love my light…
Something tells me it’s meant to shine bright.
Who am I to deny her of that right?
I’m realizing this is the beginning of a new life

To stand in my light
A deep breath from my most intimate depths.
Shedding this skin, eyes finally open to the valley of my best.
To finally bask in my breadth.
giving me life
No longer concerned with what’s right and so over the fight.
Sanctuary in my peaks and valleys.
This stream of love has finally brought me the ultimate balance.
There’s always Light and dark.
But nothing is more compelling than nurturing my heart