Within the embrace of weightless leaves bound together, I find solace,
A dream that welcomes me in the midst of my reality,
Transporting me to places imaginable yet terribly unlikely to be found.
As chaos ensues around me and emotions within me tangle among themselves,
Inviting that chaos within me,
My soul aches for easement, my mind longs for a place of calm.
Within the stories of another’s imagination, I travel,
And for a moment,
I am no longer conscious.
My soul is no longer here;
It has melded into the novels of my reading.
I become a character unbound by the laws of reality,
The wonder of such a journey is something I constantly seek,
Something that makes my heart no longer succumb to the grip of anxiety.
Oh, how I love to read.

Love comes in many
Forms, it doesn’t
Have to be sexual.
The concept of love
Is different for each and
Everyone of us.
Some love to touch,
While others love to talk,
Hear the reassuring sound
From the words that come out.
Love is expensive and expressive.
It’s addictive but don’t get it twisted,
The words “I LOVE YOU” don’t mean shit.
Love is a feeling that is revealing through
The ears, the eyes, can be touched from
Vibrations of the frequency of the voice.
Once you hear that certain noise,
Ears perk up like a dog, now you’re filled
With joy. Even the scent can bring some
Love as your brain ignites and triggers
A wonderful feeling from inside.
Love struck like lightning from deep
Inside my mind, I had to express Myself.
I’ve felt love from plenty.
I’ve showed love, also experienced
& expressed it gradually.
Without loving myself,how
Could I show it,
Love is diverse
& driven from Emotions.

I am grateful to my strength
Who has taught me to survive
In the war at home
Where little light shines, there is no such thing as “to thrive”
My feet forced to stand in the mud and cold
Knowing full well gangrene taking hold
Eyes crusted
Lungs on fire
My strength gives the order to amputate
Life is too precious to give in to desire

I am grateful to my strength
Who taught me resilience
In the darkest of times
Who taught me to appreciate the joy
As fleeting as my rhymes
I love the strength I have cultivated
When no one taught me how
The seed planted to rooted
I just didn’t know
How
deep these gentle seeds would sow
I’ll surrender now, sit back
Watch you grow

To my very first love,

I don’t know how I fell in love you. I would love to remember. Maybe when I was younger just a toddler? Or maybe when I was a preteen in small town. It feels like I have been married to you. You’re there for me when I need a friend, you’re there for me when I need a space to be lifted up. You’re there in my melancholic moments. You cherish our happy moments, even though sometimes the heartbreak is undeniable you help me find the hope that still puts the pieces together. You are the longest relationship I’ve ever been in. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have seen you evolve. But whatever you were before me I never got experience. Sometimes I judge you, sometimes I go with the flow. I love every piece of you. If you left my life in any form I would go crazy. You will be my last testimony when I die. You will be introduced to many people when that happens, because with you have a gift that can heal broken hearts. I want you to be their comfort when I am gone. When that happens you will give three important people a gift. A gift that you and I share. It’s something small kind of expensive but if these people know, what you are going to give to them is what I use everyday and what made you become apart of me. They know how much I love you. They’ve seen us grow together. And each of those gifts that you will give to them you gave to me and each of them will get a custom one.
Enough of the sadness of the future.

I have you tattooed on my arm. Is it a sin that my first love is tattooed on my arm? Don’t worry it won’t be the first. I have plans of another that will continue my love for you.
You’re there when I drive, you’re there in my dreams at night, you’re next to me all the time. You’re my best ally. You never left me.

You go by many different names. Thousands maybe millions of names. You have different aspects to you I love. I met you the real you in choir. And we went into a class where we studied melodies and theory.

Every time I pick up my phone to call you, you answer. Loving you has never been easy but you’ve been apart of me. We sing and dance in the kitchen now and when we used to do it my teal bedroom. I still have artifacts of you throughout the years and you should bring some back because I honestly think it’s hot.
You’re classy, can be trashy sometimes. But I wouldn’t trade you for anything.

You have friends that help shape you that I fall in love with time after time. I see you win awards with those friends. And when you go out, you make it a good time. Even though I hate Valentine’s Day, you make every day feel like it. You can turn the most melancholic melodies into something to live for.
You’ve showed me loss, faith, forgiveness.

Thank you.

I’m about to be 24 and you’ve guided me through life.
At 24 I know I will always love you.

This is to my very first love: Music

You’re the best thing in the world. Thank you for the headphones (that I will never leave the house with) the stories through cds, the artists.

Thank you for letting me love you.

Forever & always

Dear Silk’s Brazilian Burger,

I quake at the smell of you. The fullness of your flavor excites every taste bud my tongue can muster when I take you in.

Mustard and ketchup, lettuce and bacon, American cheese, and, of course, a runny yolk fried egg on top.

A bun is only necessary so I can wrap my hands around you and pull you near and into me.

Medium well, pink in the middle, is the perfect way to grill you, my angus beef patty.

I hunger for you.

Play with my senses no more.

Let me have you.

At last you arrive at my table.

Fries on the side.

Xoxo

Love Letter To Time
I love you Time
You are so precious to Me.
You are Mine for a Season
This I can See-

Sometimes I neglect You
I mean you no Harm.
If you were human I would hold you tightly in my Arms-

Time you are so Special
I long for you each Day.
You slip through my Fingers
Like air you’ve blown Away-

Time I am a desperate Fool
I need you with me Forever.
I’m so afraid of losing you-
Will we always be Together?

Help me keep you Time.
Show me what to Do-
Are you on my Side?
I will always love You!

Please don’t leave me Now
You are my Champion.
Time you’re all I have, my one & only Companion-

I will cherish you wisely Dear-
Please be faithful & never Stray.
If you must at some time Go,
Be assured that I loved you more than one could ever know-

I leave you now with my hopes of Forever.
I’ll spend eternity with you my Love my Time one way or Another-
The one thing that’s never left Me.
Time my Friend, My Love, My Beloved

The End

Deary Body,
We have not always had an easy relationship. When you were first hurt and violated, we were young I didn’t know it wasn’t our fault. I’m sorry I thought there must be something wrong with us. Thank you for helping me when I sought to become physically strong, thinking that would prevent us from being hurt again. Thank you for responding all the times I pushed your limits. I’m sorry for all the times I didn’t listen to the signals you were sending me. I’m sorry I didn’t know how to interpret them. Thank you for showing me when I needed to slow down and even stop moving. Thank you for healing so well every time my desire to constantly move without rest and proper care forced something to break.
I’m sorry for the times I don’t drink enough water and fuel us with caffeine. I’m sorry for the times I don’t let us get enough sleep. Thank you for carrying me on adventures, running through forests, up mountains, across streams. Thank you for being able to carry heavy weight when I packed my fears on hiking trips, and in life in general.
Thank you for the glory you’ve enabled me to experience. The glory of being a left-handed softball pitcher. The glory of simply being left-handed among multitudes of right-handed people. The glory of sprinting across a rugby pitch alongside teammates who have become life-long friends. The glory of being able to dive for volleyballs, to be part of sports teams. The glory of lifting heavy weights and facing our fears in competition.
Thank you for your ability to translate my creative thoughts into words, drawings, knitting, baked goods. You are so wonderfully capable, and you have enabled me to enjoy life.
I’m sorry for all the times when I felt like I was not enough, that I took it out on you. It was never you who was not good enough, nor was it me. We were always enough. Thank you for bearing the pain of my emotions and for my defiance. Thank you for having the strength to match my spirit, even when I was so courageous I was foolish.
I’m sorry that I spent so much time letting myself believe that your curves were dangerous for us; that I had to hide them in order to stay safe. I’m sorry that I didn’t let myself see your true beauty and I thought your shape was what prevented us from being loved the way we wanted and more importantly, needed.
I’m sorry it took me so long to learn to listen to you, to truly see you and admire you. I’m sorry it took me so long to learn to love you. Thank you for continuing to be your beautiful strong self this whole time. Thank you for showing me how feminine we truly are.
Thank you for the adventures we have yet to embark upon. For the beauty we will experience together. We will still have days of stress, of tension; but we will also have days of joyful movement outdoors. We will have more moments of feeling the ocean breeze in our hair and on our skin. We will taste the salt of the ocean and feel it on our skin. We will be relieved from the sun by cooling waters. We will be sheltered from storms. We will be warmed by blankets and fires on cold blustery days. We will languish in the afternoon sun on the couch or on the deck from time to time. We will try new recipes and taste new foods. We will see many more beautiful sunrises and sunsets. We will hear much more birdsong, the buzzing of bees, the whirring of hummingbirds. Our eyes will feast on the beauty of wildflowers. We will listen to beautiful music that helps us to heal and music that makes us move. We will experience the loving embrace of strong arms around us. We will experience the love we deserve.
I am trying to honor your needs more, trying to find stillness and ease. We will have soft days of comfort. You are safe now; there is no need to hold onto the pain you’ve endured.
I love you.

I’ll break my heart
so yours will never again.
That’s my job as your foster mom
For now, your only friend.

Don’t worry about any mess.
It’s nothing I can’t clean.
Right now you’re feeling stress,
The result of humans being mean.

Physically different,
but our souls are the same.
My story, my past,
Just oxygen and fuel to
Continue the flame.

You set the pace, baby.
I’ll take it from there.
From here on out,
You will only know care.

For now, you rest.
We can work towards calm.
Remember, this is my job
I am your foster mom.

Addiction

I’m an addict
And I know it!

I revere two of the three Cs:
Coffee, candy, and cigarettes.

I love my coffee alone with my contemplation
Of life, likes, posts, news, like a great commotion,

Flitting from one to the next trying to see
What’s best before I rest to be free.

Posts galore and replies of mine
Make my day, as the taste of Coffee

Feels like a sinful pleasure.
With my dark drink, I bite into chocolate,

And drift into a coma at heaven’s gate.
I savor the sweetness along the strength

Of body of the coffee and it’s bitterness.

Life with the morning rituals
Cake, candy, chocolate, coffee and sweets

Is like life without a hero like Ferrero,
Or Cadbury, Mars, KitKat, and Aero!

Raising the bar in a day filled
With noise, poised to litter the mind

With fear, worry, and being drear!
So my habitual start is set in stone:

Coffee, contemplation, quiet that have
A lead to social media, news, where I refuse

To succumb to its dadarkness
That needs to twist your morning addictions

Into a depressive, foggy darkness.
Let your coffee’s wisdom fill
Your empty cup with hope that will

Reject solidifying into despair,
But reaches in your depths to repair.
©️ Malak kalmoni chehab ©️

Dear Boots,

You are strapped in and strapped on, holding tight to the teathered ground you thought you left behind. Oh you thought they were made for walking but like prey, that hawk is stalking.

Boots you know what to do in the dust of the wind and you’ve also had the taste of strutting the line at the base of the river that runs deep. Climbing and climbing not knowing this mountain was so steep, when will you finally reach its peak?

Boots you are not worn down, you are not warped like the soil lands you have found. You were made to run, to dance and take a stance because you smell of new leather, you just haven’t allowed the right home where you “have to break them in.”

Break them curses, break them rules, break that damn ruins that put dirt on your steel toe boots. Break them in all right, break down barriers and Boots I’m telling you, put up that fight.

Make yourself shiny and new. Find that place that makes you feel abundantly clean and renewed. Boots love yourself the way you love the paths you walk because you are undeniably a Rios of Mercedes that can’t be found like a boot that makes themselves available on every block.

The View

Wow, it’s insane how the world looks at you .
Do you think you’ll be enough for maybe one or two.
Is it too much to ask to see you just more than once?
I can’t imagine what you have to go through inside to present yourself
These people must be dunce if they don’t want you.

I love opening the door and smelling your scent
The smell is on my pillow from having you close to me
If I have you too much, I might have to repent

I’m super lucky to have you all to myself
I’m not selfish, but with you, I have to be .
You’re so fit, dark like chocolate, juicy meat on your body.
I rather have you any day over a plate of shellfish.

Do you know when I fell in love with you?
I fell in love with you as a child.
I took one look at you and said “you’re going to be all mine “and that’s true.
I couldn’t wait to become an adult and see how you grew. How you flourished.
I love you even more as an adult.
Who would have known.

People fight over you all the time.
I can’t blame them.
You pair so well with a glass of wine.
I love seeing you come out, and it’s actual steam coming out of you because you’re so dam hot !
You’re beautiful, soft and well matured.
You’re moist and refreshing and the best cure.

The scent of cloves as you walk by
The smile on my face when I see you.
When we are in a restaurant, and I’m with my friends, I count the minutes to see your sexy blend.

You sit well on top of colored grains
My heart can’t take it anymore.
I’m going to go insane.
As you come over to me, I lose everything in my brain.
Is this what actual love feels like?

I enjoy you, I love you, and I can’t get enough of the view.

I have to have you
I’m sure you do too.
Look at you!
Look at that view!
Oxtails, rice and peas with plantains too!

Oh, how I love to daydream

Because you sleep when the sun is out

That’s the only way to see you

Until the bright beams have gone down

But

When you wake

What a sight for the stars in the evening sky

You captivate me with your beauty

I have confessed my deepest fears to you

So serene and complex

There is no doubt

My exquisite moon

In every phase of your life

I adore you

Dear Fear,
I hope you know this whole thing is sincere.
For the most part, I’m glad that you’re here.
Even through the times when you’ve lit up my senses and sent this overactive imagination into a manic hyper-drive trying to analyze every worst-case scenario reading in between their unseen lines. Even when you’ve caused some opportunities that were offered to you and me to slip through these fingertips because my grip was too preoccupied. Even when you’ve supplied my mind with a damaging panic that I couldn’t quite define or properly manage. Despite the times where I tried to forget everything and run, there were also times where I tried to face everything and rise. So I’m grateful that I’ve been able to find some creative angels amidst the mist of what I’ve missed with you within and right by my side.
You’ve led me to places that I would have never found if you weren’t around me. Granted, there are some situations where you came in while I was drowning in my emoceans that I wish I could replace. Yet, even then, you led me to some deeply challenging depths entangled in roots of the truth that we are all blessed. You’ve helped me preserve through the tears that tore apart my mind and chest, where there were tears which scared me from taking another step. You’ve broken the seal of how it feels to really feel real while facing situations that made it seem like life was coming to an end. You’ve done your best to protect me from regrets, mistakes, and early deaths.
So thank you, fear.
For being here.

Style score of sixty four 😊

FEAR

Fear, what does it mean: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat?

“He is prey to irrational fears”

There are many types of fears, however they are three types I would like to refer to:

The Three Types of Fear are as follows

Rational Fear: Rational fears occur where there is a real, imminent threat…

Primal Fear: Primal fear is defined as an innate fear that is programmed into our brains. …

Irrational Fear: Irrational fears are the ones that don’t make logical sense and can vary greatly from person to person.

Ok

They say you should not fear no man or woman/ everything and fear God, so I leave with this:

Do we respect God or have a fear of him? It is both. I respect, love and fear him all at he same time. Respect for who he is, creating of everything including me, love him because of the sacrifice he made for me, and fear his judgment if I do things that are wrong. 

As a Strong independent woman, what do I fear?

Failure 

Now, I have to tell you what is failure: 

noun

lack of success.

“An economic policy that is doomed to failure”

Similar:

lack of success

nonsuccess

non-fulfillment

defeat

frustration

collapse

foundering

misfiring

coming to nothing

falling through

fizzling out

fiasco

debacle

catastrophe

disaster

blunder

damp squirt

flop

botch

hash

foul-up

screwup

washout

letdown

dead loss

dead duck

lead balloon

lemon

fail

cock-up

pig’s ear

snafu

clinker

View 2 vulgar slang words

Opposite:

success, the omission of expected or required action.

“Their failure to comply with the basic rules”

their failure to comply with the basic rules”

Similar:

negligence

remissness

nonobservance

nonperformance

dereliction

omission

neglect

oversight

I said all things to you, because I was neglected as child and always wanted give a performance. Scared to let anyone down to be washout, letdown and all words highlighted. I want to perfect and successful; however, no one is perfect expect for Jesus. Successful comes in so many aspects in career and life. The true meaning of success is: True success means staying true to a deeper sense of purpose, despite deviating from a superficial social norm. It means finding joy in suffering. It means having the courage to peruse one’s own journey when confronted by the fear of uncertainty. I have found some joy in my suffering and I will confront the fear of uncertainty. I have a deeper sense of purpose and I am out of the norm. 

I want to share 13 steps to be successful in life: 

Find a passion. To be successful, it is important to define what you want in life. …

Show commitment. …

Learn from the journey. …

Have fun along the way. …

Think positively. …

Be honest with yourself. …

Take away distractions. …

Depend on yourself.

&

What words can replace “successful”?

Synonym Drs

triumphant.

effective.

efficacious.

accomplished.

achieved.

complete.

fruitful.

perfect.

Drake & Trey Songz’s song about success said all what is to be successful. They want the money, cars and the hoes. I want that too, lol. 

In conclusion, I guess that is why I always wanted not to fail, not saying I did not, because I did have some hiccups. I made some mistakes. Did I let stop me? NO! I will never ever quit. I learned from my mistakes. I brush myself and learned from my lessons. When I fall, I get right back up and try again. Power of the tongue and law of attractions. Say something and will come true. So, I will not be a failure and I will l be a success. Fear is another emotion and do not let it overpower you. It is okay to be fearful or be afraid, however do not it is let consume you. 

To Fear,

Hey, how are you? I can’t stop thinking about you. Reminiscing on the first time we met, or at least the first time I remember meeting.

Man, has it been that long? I was seven years old the first time you entered my thoughts. Your small voice whispering in my ear- “this isn’t forever, you will die”..

“Mommy!!” I screamed. Mom came running to my bedside, “ what is it, what is it??!”

“ I am going to die!” I cried, remember?

Mom calmly replied “ Yes one day we all will die”. Even though mom sat by my side, one hand on my heart, one hand on my forehead.. talkin to me about the power of the beautiful, white light of protection..

You fear, you stuck to me. With me. On me. Through all the stages of maturity.. child, adolescent, young womanhood . We’ve been inseparable.

Like the time you reminded me if I should ever be happy and loved, it wouldn’t last.. I could die. They would die.

You never left my side, fear. From worrying mom would crash in a drunk driving accident on the way home from the bar, to when dad and mom fought so badly the cops would show up.. you told me they would kill one another, eventually.

Ohhhh reminds me when Maya was born, my beautiful daughter, making me a mom. I quickly realized I was no good as a mother, thanks to you, fear.

I just knew that I would fail, is failing, all the time. Especially with you gripping my hands. Nudging me this is too, too good to last, it won’t last. Happiness. Joy. Serenity. Love.

And suddenly, unexpectedly- I muted our connection. With breath. With movement and postures, mantras and mudras. Gratitude was my morning coffee when the first light made its way inside.

You see, I started my life with you. For as long ago as I can recall, and through the decades of my life. Now, the vail is removed. I am content. I am comfortable. I aged well. I am loved. I love me, inside and out. Yet, here you come around again…

I’m older, I’m wiser, how come you don’t care? For old times sake you whisper-“ hey, it’s too late. You’ve waited too long, you’ve wasted too much time fucking up,
with love,
with your family
and children,

So this I am healed now, happy, love, joy stuff? It isn’t staying. You’re gonna die, or you’ll experience the greatest loss you will ever know”

that’s what I get for holding your hand, fear. All this time, all these years? You’re still here?

Maybe you were trying to tell me all along? Teaching me to live as if nothing real lasts? That I will die.. I am going to die.. we will all die, one day. So treat yourself and others you love deeply with the truest affections possible. We never really are promised the time..

Thank you, dear fear. How could I have not seen? The mastery of letting you go can only come from me..

Style score was 100.