Three times I’ve prayed over a vision You, the Lord of hosts, have shown
First You said “trust Me” second “just be” third You said, “you’re not. I am. Just sit back and be amazed at what I’m going to do.”
And however “it” is to be, I have not a clue…
But You said I was going to Russia, when others told me the idea I should abort
Because they were leaving in two weeks, and I had not a passport
Yet we were all baffled when it came in a week and a half.
Or when You said I was going to the Middle East
But as to how, an idea I had not in the least
Only to sit in a church, with the specific destination You said on the screen
And the pastor reading genesis 12:1, “Get out of your country, from your family
and from your father’s house,
To a land that I will show you.”
Therefore I knew, You mean what You mean
Only to visit another church, for a man to introduce me to a woman
She said they were leaving for there in three weeks
But in my spirit, I knew it was the journey I was to take
And my job, security, and life I was ready to forsake
Or when I awoke, and You said Guatemala while I was still in a daze
No money, no means, but a trust in Your ways
Only for people You touched to give me money to go, and to buy the ticket for my plane
Or how I still find it insane
How You’ve sent me back three times to the desert sands
Without a dollar leaving my hands
Downtrodden and feeling down on my luck
Praying because I needed to find a new truck
But You already know the needs that I have before I ask
And I found myself basking in Your glory with a huge grin
When I test drove a truck with a sermon on the radio and my name in the VIN
Thinking back to when my book I knew not how to publish
Yet You sent a long lost friend, who randomly told me how to fulfill my wish
But that is not all
For You care about the big things, but also the small
Like when I needed stove top cleaner
And not a soul on this earth knew but You…
The joyful demeanor I had when I came home to find it hanging from my door
I could go on, for You’ve done so much more
But as part of my story has been unfurled
The message I wish to share with the world
Is just what the Lord said… “trust Me.” And “just be.”

What did you want to be when you grew up? A doctor? An astronaut? Maybe a police officer? When I was little, I always said I wanted to be a “typer girl” or a pediatric nurse. But, as I grew older, I realized that I really just wanted to be myself. I was always bullied and gossiped about in school whenever I stuttered during prayer before lunch or when my best friend and I had a secret handshake or when I said I love the Titanic (1997) film. From the music I love to sing to the company I keep, someone always had something to say about it. But, after so long, I learned to ignore those who didn’t like the real me and just focused on those who loved me for me. My advice to is: JUST BE YOU! I always introduce myself as a proudly weird person because I would rather just be myself than someone I’m not. So just remember, always be yourself and don’t ever let anyone tell you any different!

Being in love with love
It first starts within
Being in love with self
Then with strangers, family and friends
Learning to love yourself even
When in doubt
Learning to stand alone while figuring everything out
Healing from traumas that others may not know
Stepping into your purpose
Doing your part, so that more love in the world can grow
Being in love with love is spreading peace, happiness and positivity
Being in love with love is loving others outside of me
Being in love with love is loving all……unconditionally
This is the biggest lesson I’ve learned and wanted to share
That no matter what we go through in life
Still show someone else love, and that you’ll always be there
Someone else may have it worse than you
Someone else may need the strength that lives inside of you
So showing love even when you don’t feel it
Is the best healing that you can do
Being in love with love is understanding that within you is where it begins
I am in love with love
Because I know now that in a world full of hurt, evil and pain……..
Spreading love is the only true way we all can win.

From me to you,
which truth is true,
and how to choose between a few,
take this clue and read it through.

When taking pills of red or blue,
when you’re deciding what to do,
you know who will guide you through,
and your perspective He’ll renew,
and give you a new point of view
so you can understand it too.

So, when it comes to what is true,
you should know a thing or two
about how what is new to you
and that you now believe is true,
compared to what you thought you knew,
wasn’t new, just new to you.

let go.
let go of people.
let go of things.
let go of places.
let go of yourself & all of the negative inner monologues along with it.
let go of labels.
let go of bad habits.
let go of unfulfilling relationships of all kinds; friendships, family, coworkers, romantic partners, you name it.
let go of mistakes.
let go of the past, future & the fear of living for today.
let go of anything & everything that does not resonate this very day.
let go of old perspectives.
let go of previous wounds.
let go of past hurts.
let go of your first & last lover.
let go of lack mentality.
let go of all that was ever known.
let go of anything & everything that no longer rings true within your heart.

let go in exchange to move forward & welcome the unwritten chapters of your life.

hello to new people.
hello to new things.
hello to new places.
hello to new beginings.
hello to new opportunities.
hello to new chances.
hello to new loves.
hello to abundance.
hello to the present.
hello to myself.

let go to surrender to your destined life.
the story is only yours to create,
what will you choose to write?

Dear 8.1 billion of you that I share this planet with:

The vast majority of you I will never meet. We walk separate paths that statistically – will simply never cross in a meaningful way. To the one waking up on the opposite side of earth than me today. To the one I see on the news. To the one who made a TikTok that made me giggle but I’ll never remember your name. To the one who took their child to the very same park I took my son to hours later, but never met.

We live in an era where we’re more connected than ever, and also more divided than ever. The media spins a tale that we are so very different from one another. And yes, it is somewhat true – we are different. We have different backgrounds, different privileges, different beliefs; but one thing remains more true:

We are more similar than we are different.

In another life, that girl you look down upon could be your best friend. In a parallel universe, the homeless man you silently judge on the street corner could be your brother. In an alternate reality, an older woman bagging your groceries could be your grandmother. If there was a glitch in the matrix, that infant crying in the seat next to you on the flight could be your own child.

We are all human beings with beating hearts. If you were to sit down and have a conversation with an individual you think couldn’t be more unlike yourself, I bet you would leave that conversation feeling otherwise.

We are more similar than we are different, and that is beautiful.

Yes, you can’t and that’s totally ok!
“Average is awesome” is a philosophy that needs to be given its rightful place in urban society.
While the pursuit to excellence comes with immense self-pride /satisfaction at the pinnacle , it also carries with it a heavy mixed bag of insecurities, strife and stress along the way.

Why is one almost always unfairly judged on being content with just being average?

While some may argue the acceptance of mediocrity creates a false sense of acheivement and is the villian to all things great , I believe it is supremely meditative to do so. It nurtures a complete abandon of self doubt and offers the freedom not to hold back on living life to the fullest on one’s own terms.

For some being midway is truly being at the finish point.
As someone who has constantly been working to break free from the ever tightening shackles of self improvement , I am finally begining to embrace the average in all of middle aged me.

There are no more mountains I wish to climb, no more i wish to traverse , just let me lay someplace in the middle as it is my happiest place to be!!

imposter
concealment
limiting
our lives
our potential
fear…
the world will find us out
public faces
private faces
is there anything in between
how do we negotiate
rigid expectations
pressure
roles
identify
release
overcome

Dear Mother and self,

When I was just a girl I asked my mother what the point of life was, she told me that the point of life is to experience it, experience it in every way imaginable. From the highest highs to the lowest lows, experience is the point of life.

Mother knows best, maybe an old cliche, but on this, she is right, you know:

The point of life is not the car you drive,
But the people you drove to meet with it.
The point of life is not the money you make,
But the moments you created with it.

It’s not the car that gave me experience, but the memories and moments that came with it:

“Dad’s Truck” came with its own set of nuanced experiences.
– “That Star” I still see in the sky, was a shared moment in the bed of my blue truck,
“The hardest day” will remain a stain on my bones, materials were lost, but never the memories made.

Experience is the point of life, not the money earned or the things we’ve lost. Experience increases in value, while your penny today could be crypto tomorrow. Is it money earned or time spent earning it that you remember the most?

Because for me, I’ve lived a full life with highs and lows, when experience was my only friend. I’ve ridden the waves of beautiful and ugly. The biggest lesson I’ve ever learned – life is experience: the good and the bad mixed in a swirling vortex of individualized experience.