Can I write something for future me ? Because I know he’s be so proud of what current me, is currently doing.

Undoing 10 years of an identity, that was never meant for me.

Preparing the path to intersect with him, and finding healthy ways to cope mentally

Especially, since they did him kind of dirty

It’s never to late to start over.
Even if your thirty

It may seem a little scary
No, it’s terrifying

a leech in my mind slowly sapping away at times-
that should be spent living…
Sorry I gotta focus on surviving,

But first, I need to get out of bed. I’ve been trying to convince every piece of me to talk again,
no part of me ever grieved the fact that I had to learn how to walk again

Extremely well taken care of body, sold my soul for employment,
22 years old a broken vertebrae on deployment?

Came back to the states and didn’t know that I was in for the change of my life,
for the next four months, I was forboding going under the knife.

“But I’m 22, I’m in incredible shape,”

“I’m sure you are son, but you see this x ray? This is a clear break”

“You made a mistake, it was just some discomfort , I only felt a pinch”

Dr said, “I can tell you’re upset I’m gonna give you a bit. “

There I sat, main character to my own horror movie, blood became curdling

The words escaped my lips like death row inmates –
“I’m getting surgery”

There I lay, a husk of my former self ,

my right thumb begging the vicodin to drip faster, no wonder this is controlled.
I cried as soon as the nurse left, I’m 22 years old.

Could barley take care of my self ,
I wouldn’t have ate if my boy chav never came,
I felt so embarrassed to use a walker, only a little lesser with a cane.

But day by day , I did my best to get stronger , those slow painful walks would ease and become longer.

I was really worried that I’d never be able to swing a bat again,
To strengthen my back ,
I first needed to strengthen my glutes, hips, and abdomen .

Everyday after work, I’d do a light jog, yoga, then mobility,
trying to stifle the disdain of my depleted ability,

Before I was poetic, I found solace in athletics,
55 yard throws, home runs over 350, 4.7 forty, benching 250,
33 inch vert…
all that stuff went away when I got hurt.

I gained a bunch of weight lost all my range of motion ,
I was willing to do black magick take an elixir or a potion.

But, one day by the ocean,

Feet in the sand, and my head in my hands, I realized …
I had to love my body because for everything it went through,
it still lets me stand.
Now as a man,

I realize I’ll never be in the same shape I was when I was 21,

don’t need to be a good athlete anymore, just do my job and play with my son.