How good it feels
To feel you
To be acquainted
To know

After all the years
Of stuffing, binging, mindlessly
Eating to fill the void

One that wasn’t yours
Misplaced by mere inches
A calling uncomfortable

Different than yours
But so foreign to understand
No patience to learn

Until one day
The void is still lingering
Still cataclysmic
And the belly is full beyond recognition

Then the journey begins
Inward, downward
Exploration of emotions
Contemplations of beliefs

A realization it wasn’t your voice
Your call to be fulfilled
Your request to be known

Rooting up and out
Digging deep into
The garden of the heat

To reveal the pain
The judgements
The misguided love

That was so graciously covered,
Buried, tempered down
With copious amounts of food

The unearthing isn’t pleasant
It smells of rot & distant memories
It tastes of acid & forgotten truths
It feels unyielding & unending
Regardless of the discoveries
Our tracks are well worn habits
And the pursuit of healthy
Drives new uncomfortable
Ways of being

That sometimes receive that
Old poisonous medicine
Of food to quiet the symptoms

Slowly it changes
More quickly the distinction is made
With new knowledge & insight
There is hope
And there has been & certainly is
Progress

Now the option for partnership
A radical dedication to self-love
Requirement for the healthiest
In order to do the work, serve
The purpose