Dear Unsealers, my childhood, through to my 20s, has been one of the most horrifying experiences that no child or person should ever have to go through. By the hands of evil, I was abused mentally, emotionally, and sexually with no one to protect me. Even growing up to this day can be a struggle but I have to win this battle. In some stages of my life, I rebelled with anger, in some stages, I resorted to drugs and alcohol, and at one point I was a guinea pig for Drs “trying to correct” me. I can’t recall how many times I wanted to give up. Eventually, I stopped allowing the evil to continue controlling me and winning. I stopped feeding it and took control of myself and my life. Now I am happy, healthy, and secure; even though I still have some struggles. Through all of this I have always written poetry or wrote self expressively; it helps me survive and I hope it helps others know they are normal – they are their normal and that we are in this together- nobody has to be alone or scared. Below are 2 poems I wrote in defense of my traumas.
Poem/Urges: Urges, they surge through me like an electric wire. There’s no telling their destination. The outcome is unclear. The rapid urge for incomprehensible actions to take place. Urges, cradling inside my veins, grinding away at all of my pains. Pushing against my skin, craving inside to come out from within. Starving to reach its mission. Urges, trying so hard to take control but long behold, I’m well aware of its grip, my blood will not drip. The urges cannot maintain power when there’s a greater urge to empower a greater good. (not a fan of how I ended that one). Poem: Please demon, don’t try and hide. I see right through you even with that disguise. Your horns are big, your red blood flows bright, and I see you even when you try to hide in the night. Your growls once frightened me but now they just remind me, that I am stronger than you could ever be.