When I first started attending alcoholics anonymous (AA) meetings, something I heard a lot of people say in their introduction was that they were a grateful alcoholic. I couldn’t understand why someone would be grateful to be cursed with this disease. It destroyed my life, my relationships, my will to live. Why on earth would anyone be grateful to go through life with this sickness? It wasn’t until I had a relapse that sent me to such a deep rock bottom, that I had to fully surrender myself to the program. Once I did so I started to push myself out of my comfort zone, making friends, showing up consistently to the same meetings, developing a relationship with my higher power and giving my all to the twelve steps. This is when I started to see the promises of the program coming true. My fear of the world, failure, rejection and judgement started dissipating. My heart started opening up again and it made space for true connection. I learned how to be vulnerable and share the things I held in so deeply with shame in the past. I have developed so much gratitude for this life of recovery. I understand now what it means to be a grateful recovering alcoholic. If I never had this disease I would never have met the beautiful souls I have in my life today. I would never have gone to the depths of my soul and discovering who I truly am underneath all of my fears and pain. I would never have felt the connection of such a powerful, loving and accepting community. AA is my family and I am so grateful to have been led here through my struggles.