I used to speak to the moon almost every night. While my tears became an ocean, I began to swim, to catch my breath, to save myself from dying. In between the tides, I saw my body lie there, my heart crushed between my fingers, my eyes locked inside my head. I dreamt of Neverland again. I dreamt of flying with a boy who knew all of my secrets. We jumped from cloud to cloud, reciting every poem that ever spoke of love. I dreamt of sorrow that disappeared in the air and of mermaids who showed me which way to go.
I met the boy from my dream. I saw him standing on the porch of an old run-down home. There was a light that shined behind him. He looked just like an angel with no wings. What was his spell on me? Was it the leather jacket he wore? The cuffs on his wrists and the spears on his belt? Was it how familiar he seemed? I stood with him that night. We chain smoked cigarettes while he confessed to me his heartache caused by the world. We solved the problems of capitalism and war. His thumb grazed my knuckles. I told him all of my secrets.
Time is almost invisible but I’m afraid of it running out. My head rests on the boy that I met a long time ago. His heart dances and takes mine by her hand. They swing at their hips, they tango, their heels kiss on the tiled floor. The Earth keeps on spinning. Voices turn into shrubs and the only thing I hear is tun tun tun like drums beating through his chest. My arms wrap all the way around his torso. He reminds me of a tree in the forest. The moisture of his leaves soak into my pores. This is the first time my body is drenched in water. Azaleas blossom on my skin. I had never felt the warmth of the sun so strongly until this very moment.
I used to speak to the moon almost every night. I begged her to send me someone who could love me, someone who would soothe the thoughts that drove me to pain. I used to ask for the Earth to just stay here a while so that I could listen to my own whispers. Tonight I dream again of Neverland. I dream of a boy who flies and takes me with him. Only this time, it isn’t just a dream. The imprint of our bodies stains the sheets. I look into his pupils and I finally know peace.

Dear Friend,
My heart is listening to a voice that guides me to an open door
My heart is listening to a voice that guides me to an open door and says enter
My heart is listening to a voice that guides me to an open door and says enter and
you can let people know
My heart is listening to a voice that guides me to an open door and says enter and
people will send hearts
My heart is listening to a voice that guides me to an open door and says enter and
if you need a nap, that will be fine here
My heart is listening to a voice that guides me to an open door and says enter and
there is a friend at your side comin

My heart is so happy to write a song

My heart is so happy to wait and rest knowing I can write a song

My heart is so happy because peace is non man-made

My heart is so happy because peace is needing my involvement

My heart is so happy because I can rest now

My heart is at peace

Friend, I love you

After many years of people pleasing for acceptance and validation, peace and ease is my daily meditation.

Peace is choosing to honor what I need before I give, remembering I must nourish me first to truly live.

Peace is identifying what is actually true in my web of negative thoughts, it’s clinging to the miracles for which my ancestors fought.

Peace finds me when I shed every ounce of shame, because it finds no purpose in highlighting who’s to blame.

Peace is trekking through the unknown with fear in your heart, it’s giving me grace and strength not to fall apart.

Peace greets me when I’m lacking confidence, whispering I am the epitome of love and abundance.

Peace healed the emptiness I desperately wanted to escape, it gave me the wisdom, vision, and direction to create.

Peace tore through the labels society convinced me to wear, clothing me in freedom and clarity to become more aware.

Peace is the awareness extending a love invitation to my inner child, all she ever really wants is to be seen and heard as she navigates in the wild.

Peace is finding connection in the midst of rejection and finally understanding those conflicts were for my protection.

Peace is realizing that those challenging moments I experienced in obscurity really opened me up to overcoming deep insecurity.

Peace is embracing the depth of my sovereignty, knowing I’m an instrument for infinite novelty.

Peace is watching the sunset pause for me to absorb its energy as the majestic unveils a higher frequency.

Peace is knowing I’m loved and supported, no longer entertaining thoughts my critic would have successfully thwarted.

Peace feels like silence in nature, like a cool breeze after a storm, I observe how the trees refuse to conform.

Peace is the stillness that invites me to nurture my entire being, as I discover access to this level of consciousness is also freeing.

Kisses on my forehead after a long trying day, carefully crafted words of affirmation my loved one might say.

A gentle sense of surrender for the calamity in my mind, I have access to the unlimited tranquility of the divine

Watching the intrusive thoughts dissolve as I continue to evolve, knowing the shadow work I’m doing is destined for resolve.

Wounds losing their sensitivity, I’m released from the battlefield of captivity, it’s my time and I am ready to welcome serenity.

A stealthy approach I make my way.
With rays of sun through the trees,
shades of green laugh at me.
The river shines like a mirror,
reflecting back peculiar, rippled realities.

The tension in my soul,
thought immutable,
melts away,
like frost at first light.
And for a scene so sublime,
a suffusion of gratitude,
steadily overwhelms me.

I realize.

This place,
and those of its kind,
where the duality of my spirit glows,
where tranquility persists with hints of beautiful chaos,
where the silence beckons me,
I will exist,
if ever in my life.

Looking out to the sky
during the day
then after it breaks
few notice,
in between the two phenomenons lies
a rainbow of color
bonding the infinite spontaneous impulses of the universe
Only there,
surpassing time,
interconnected with the universe
beaming down as only a mere concept in another
breaking from the barriers of this dimension
Here only,
I truly feel whole.

When I find myself running from madness
I am always going to the same place
Chasing solace, I run as fast as I can
I run away to the water over and over again

It called to me when I was lost inside myself
When I had lost sight of who I was
Pulled me in and held me in harmony
Helped me to feel small and safe

Wrapped in its motion, my body can be free
I move effortlessly, entirely supported
I speak my greatest fears and deepest worries
Knowing in here, they can be washed clean

Like a child, I am able to play
Like I did years ago
In a lake far away from home
Born a swimmer and bound to the mystical

Above the earth and below the sun, I am one with the world
I belong
No place on land compares to my sanctuary
In the water and inside my peace

The rest of the world is quiet
And so is my mind
Drifting in the open, I can finally surrender
I have no one that I need to be

My problems can’t swim
They sit on the shore waiting for my return
But I swim to be saved
And to shed them for good

I will run from chaos as fast as I can
Running until the road runs out
To where my spirit can rest easy
I will run until I’m able to swim

We’re living in a west side story, not knowing which way is wrong or right,soon will have to take a flight.
Too many times ,too many times ,being controlled now it’s time to be free and visualize.
Not really sure how to feel about life, hope to figure it out ,figure it out.
We’re on a mission, we the double(007),we the people of the world.
We’re all just in a rut ,tryna make the cut,
tryna escape the dilemma of the meli,deli,drama.
Oh yeah, oh yeah! They say “Were young and dumb and don’t think of the consequences of our actions”they say “count the cost”!
We don’t count the cost ,living life to the fullest that’s why we wind dead and in the ditches praying for our best friend cause they didn’t make the cut.And if ur not a number your nothing really …
No need to be seeking validation when all u get is trouble and wind up in the rubble now let be on the double.

Chaos all around me.
Where can I go to think?
To calm my mind, to be at ease.
Anxiety constantly knocking.
Refusing to stop until I let it in.
But I refuse to just give in…
To my fears, to my doubts, to the emptiness within.
Where can I go to find peace?
I search and search high and low.
Under a rock? Under a tree? Where can I go to just be ME?
With my friends? At a store?
In this life there’s gotta be more.
Will money make me happy?
The job I’ve always wanted?
A house, a car, the perfect body?
Approval of my peers, gratitude from my spouse?
No, there has to be something else.
The day I first held my daughter in my arms, I cried.
I’m a mother now, why do I still feel broken inside?
Another daughter brought me joy instead of pain.
Is there something more that can be gained?
My husband makes me laugh and smile.
He always knows how to get me out of my head.
When I’m with my family, just us four,
I feel so much peace with these people I adore.
A peace even deeper is when I’m in the great outdoors.
I can feel the wind in my hair.
I touch the grass with my hands.
The shade keeps me cool from the hot sun.
And I just breathe….
A deep breath in, a deep breath out.
Letting go of every single doubt.
My God is with me.
He knows my name.
He’s always there but it’s not the same.
To feel His peace, it sets me free.
When it’s just Him and me.
His love makes me whole.
My broken places are mending.
Whenever I need to calm my mind,
His presence is the best medicine.
Better than drugs,
Better than wine.
I am His and He is mine.
If you could feel what I feel, you would understand.
Nothing else can truly satisfy but the Great I AM.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking back
To the version of me from a few months ago,
The me who sat outside your downtown apartment
For the last time.

I can picture that day—crying, screaming,
My heart, irrational
Begging my feet to walk back up to your door,
While my mind, logical
Pleaded for my hands
To put the car in reverse and drive away.

Long story short, my mind won.

I think of that version of me sometimes,
Like a ghost lingering behind my eyes,
Not there to haunt me,
but to reveal itself once in a while.

Although that version of me
Is not too distant in the past,
It feels like a lifetime ago.

My heart was so sad,
Yet unaware I was on the edge
Of something so beautiful and great—
I just couldn’t see it through eyes blurred with tears.

Now I’m lying in my own bed, alone.
In the green light of my lamp,
Listening to the bubbling of my humidifier,
Surrounded by walls we painted orange together,
But only I now can feel the color’s warmth.

I am lying here with my head at the foot of the bed,
Because oddly, over the past few months,
I have found comfort in feeling misplaced.
I have learned I can feel peace
Even when I am in pieces.

I feel relieved to climb in bed alone,
To hold nothing but my stuffed animal,
And feel no other touch except my own
And my dog at my feet.

I lie here wondering
How could there have ever been a time
When I hurt that much?
In the same thought, I remind myself
I will love something so greatly
That one day I will hurt that much again.

In the meantime,
I can lay here in my bed,
Relieved, alone, and okay.