Thank you for not giving up on us. I’m so glad you kept growing and going. Despite heartbreaks and headaches, you left it all behind and started fresh to provide a better life for yourself and your children. What the enemy meant for your destruction; you were able to construct into something good. Although it’s been a long, rocky road, we’ve persevered, and now we can finally exhale.

You’ve turned obstacles into stepping stones and transformed pain into purpose. You found strength in moments when giving up seemed like the easier path; instead, you continued to press forward. And for that, I thank you.

For every tear you’ve shed, every time you scraped together coins to make ends meet, and every moment of self-doubt after adults abused your trust you crafted something beautiful out of those hard moments. The way you’ve chosen to show up, despite it all, amazes me. You embraced healing even when it felt uncomfortable, and in doing so, you’ve become a beacon of light for others.

So, here’s to you for keeping your heart open when it wanted to close, for showing love when it would have been easier to hate, and for never letting anyone or anything define your worth. You’ve built a life full of purpose, intention, and grace. You didn’t just survive you thrived.

And there’s so much more ahead. Keep trusting yourself, because you’ve got this.

Love you, girl!

Hugs and kisses,

Your inner child

Thank you for allowing me to express myself
At the age of the trauma moments i did not know what to do
I would brush things to the side and store it in a closet
The closet was closed until i started to become more aware of self
Who am i ? where nobody else is looking
My true self the one who finally seeks professional help
I understood as a young man independent , the oldest of 3 that would do everything him self now broken down and could not do it by myself
Writing poetry at 12 until 21 and at age 33 in 2023 i came back to writing after a decade of not writing
Since then so many stages
So many tears of joy finally seeing that inner child in me smile
Cheers to that little body who was scared to say i am scared , i want a hug
I just wanted to be loved with no conditions
Without feeling like it was transactional the growth i’ve seen in myself i could not even imagined
This is letter is not only for the younger me but to the younger you
You are more than able and capable to be who ever you want to be
Lift the trauma bookbag and take that leap sheshh
Look how far i’ve come after removing that lagguage off of me

Dear Amberlee,

Take a moment to breathe and reflect on everything you’ve faced and how far you’ve come. You’ve journeyed through storms that most people would have struggled to survive, let alone rise above. Yet here you are, stronger and wiser, with a life that bears the mark of your resilience.

Remember those long, terrifying nights during the darkest days of domestic violence, when every moment felt like walking on broken glass. You kept going, even when it felt impossible, because deep down, you knew you deserved better. Leaving wasn’t easy, but you did it. And you didn’t stop there—you took the pain, the memories, and turned them into something powerful. You wrote about your experiences, using your voice to give strength to others. Now, you’re not just a survivor; you’re an advocate, an author who’s helping others find their way out of the shadows.

And then there was homelessness, another trial that seemed endless. There were days when it felt like every door was shut and every path blocked. But you never stopped pushing forward. You found a way, even when the odds were against you, building a path for yourself and your family. You didn’t just survive—you thrived. Through remote work and careful planning, you saved and strategized until you could buy your first home. It wasn’t just a roof over your head; it was proof of your determination, a testament to your refusal to let your past define your future.

Amberlee, you’ve proven over and over that you are relentless, hardworking, and resilient. You’ve faced every hardship head-on, and with each step, you’ve built a life that reflects your courage. Not only have you protected and provided for your family, but you’ve also shown them the power of perseverance. Today, as you look at where you are, remember to give yourself credit for every ounce of energy, every late night, and every choice to keep moving forward.

So here’s to you—the woman who didn’t give up. The mother who overcame. The author who now gives others a voice. Be proud of your journey, and be grateful for the strength that has carried you through every challenge. You deserve every bit of peace and pride in your heart.

With all the love and gratitude,

Amberlee

TO. My Younger Self

Dear Roxanne,

The time has come to write to you regarding the impact of the challenges faced and are ahead. It seems since our mom decided that she needed space from us, her five children’s life has surely been hard. Even though meals were scarce, and baths were far and in between we were all together. I believe that I mentally blocked this part of our lives. For I don’t remember anything before this. We were now placed in the system of the Department of Economic Security. The Division for Child Protective Services now orchestrated our lives and luckily family members and friends stepped up to claim us.
Fortunately, the kind elderly lady, who you were very fond of living across the street, opened her doors to you. She had helped feed all of us when mom could not provide and now, she was stepping in to be guardian over your life. Life was moving along and at times mom would show up and check on you. You were growing up now and began to excel in school and at sports. After all, you had a bed to lay in at night and every meal was provided, including when at school. This lady loved her community and people and opened her to many people. This is where life changed for you and the great challenge that formed the woman you became and are today.
A family friend moved in, an older gentleman known to the area and knew your mom as well. He saw that you were growing older and would state from time to time how pretty you are and were going to be. The flow came that summer and the body changes began to change from little girl to young woman especially in the chest area. He recognized this and began to secretly comment about them. The discomfort you felt and fear that set in when you were left alone in his presence. Yet, you told no one out of fear that no one would believe, or this could disrupt the home graciously gifted. Thankfully sports kept you away from home most days and some days there was no appearance of him.
The dreadful day that caused so many challenges ahead had come and life took a drastic turn. You were alone in your room, just straightening up and he quietly appeared behind you. He had shut the door behind him and blocked you from moving toward it and safety. You could feel his breath on your neck and instantly he grabbed your face and slipped his hand under your blouse. He turned your face and began to kiss your face and onto your lips aggressively. Your heart rate was so high, and fear caused you to whimper, and this caused him to release and flee from the room. You were only twelve years old now and a grown man was interested in molesting you. The challenge caused you to form ideas for creating more distance between him and staying away from more than usual. It was noticed and finally a grown-up (your mother) asked for your welfare. And without hesitation you spoke of the instances that had led to him finally groping and kissing on the mouth. Your mother was upset and went and discussed it with the guardian and assured you he would be handled. Yes, it was handled drastically by an uncle who had an issue with this man sleeping with his wife. Yes, there was a gun involved, brief hospitalization and jail but most importantly this man was never seen again. Months later, this uncle ( after being released from jail) gave assurance this man would never touch or harm you again.
The challenges of your youth went from an absent parent to being molested by a family friend. Yet, life went on and you were an Honor Roll Student, awarded athlete and great participant in your local church and other community entities. So, to you I say, keep pressing forward life has many challenges. Yes, Roxanne, there will be setbacks, losses (great losses) and hardships as well. Believe me, there were times when you felt broken, abandoned and suicidal. But in the end, you did overcome the childhood challenges to become the woman lively and vibrant today. Let me tell you this, time revealed that your name is really Roxanna.

Take care always, Roxanna

Dear Mars, my girl…

It’s been a tough 26 years, huh?
Your biological mother was on drugs and drinking for seven months of her pregnancy with you and had five abortions before you.
Your biological father was in prison, also on drugs when he came out, and the abuse toward you? Physical, sexual, and mental. Only a monster is capable of that.

How are you?

I know you were adopted by your grandparents, who raised you. You called them Mom and Dad. That was an easy transition, but wait… wasn’t your dad diagnosed with cancer? And when he passed, didn’t your mother give up on you and the routines that kept you “normal”? Didn’t she become abusive herself? Calling you names, telling you you were just like your biological father, her son, who you once saw beat her within an inch of her life? How tragic, the person who was supposed to love you… saying such nasty, cruel things. You were compared to the person who abused you… you aren’t him. You were never him. No matter what she said.

Dad’s cancer was rough, and losing him was a lot rougher. You got that tattoo, though. Only one still, huh? Yeah, figures. Even though you weren’t granddad turned dad and granddaughter turned daughter by blood, you took after him. Maybe that’s why Mother sometimes used you as an emotional crutch.

You’re an adult now. A mid-twenties adult at that! After trying to take your life thrice and beating the odds of being your parents… you managed to make it further than I expected. And I’m grateful for you.

I’m grateful that you’re still curious.
I’m grateful that you still believe in love.
I’m grateful that you’re still hopeful.

You still want to help people by telling your story, no matter the mistakes you make or the times you fail. You believe you could be working to “fail” more, but you’re working at your pace. Keep going.

You still want to inspire, entertain, and make people smile.

I’m grateful you are still here. Life hasn’t been easy, and it hasn’t been easy for anyone, but you’re hopeful that people, humanity, and love remain and that light reigns.

I’m grateful for you because your story is one of millions that has already helped people more than you know.

Mars… I’m grateful for you.
Keep being you.

Thank you for the kindness shown,
For every cheer as I’ve grown,
For moments big and those so small,
You’ve lifted me through it all.

From lessons learned and paths unknown,
To seeds of strength that you’ve sown,
With each step I’ve found my way,
Held by support day by day.

In every triumph, every fall,
Your belief has stood so tall,
A guiding light, a steady hand,
Helping me to bravely stand.

So here’s my thanks, from heart to pen,
For helping me to rise again,
In gratitude, these words I share,
For the love you always bear.

I am grateful for you,
for every sunrise you rise to meet,
for each step you take toward dreams,
even when the night felt endless,
and hope was dim.

Thank you, for every quiet moment
you chose kindness over blame,
for how you held steady
when the storms came,
and trusted your strength to carry you through.

You work so hard,
building a life with bare hands,
molding your future
from lessons and losses,
from grit and grace.

I am grateful for your courage,
the way you’ve let wounds heal into wisdom,
the way you face fear and wear it down,
your voice growing stronger
with every hardship you’ve turned into growth.

You are resilience in motion,
a story of perseverance
that unfolds with each new chapter.
Thank you for believing in possibility,
for becoming someone you’re proud to be.

And as you journey forward,
know that I am grateful for every choice
that’s led you here,
to a life of purpose, strength, and joy—
to a life that is uniquely yours.

Dear Justin Barnes,

Please understand the intent of this letter, as it is not to come off egotistic. However, my best internal desire is to thank you for who you are. Thank you for changing your life around and giving love a chance. Thank you for taking the risks you deemed too risky to take. Thank you for having that hunger and drive to improve yourself and prove that you can benefit society. Thank you for your hard work and resilience in working with patients daily. Thank you for becoming a nurse and working in the intensive care unit, which would be a passion you enjoy. Thank you for trying to fix all the problems that you can. Thank you for trying to listen and be empathetic when you are not perfect at it. Thank you for being brave to trust and have children with the love of your life. Thank you for admitting your faults in prayer. Thank you for your failures, as you may learn from them. Thank you for realizing your faults and desiring to be better. Thank you for knowing how to say “sorry.” Thank you for sacrificing your mental and physical energies to provide for your family and assisting in pursuing opportunities for your family. Thank you for attempting to take time for your family, even if it is hard on some days. Thank you for staying late at work and being by that patient in the most challenging times of their lives.
Thank you for giving your mind, soul, and body to figure out your patient and family’s problems. Thank you for helping your coworkers and listening to their ideas. Thank you for taking the risks of buying a home in which the economy has been unable to optimize for a family. Thank you for caring for yourself and seeking care at the doctor when possible. Thank you for continuing to pursue your education despite the hardships it brings. Thank you for working full-time while being at school. Thank you for trying your best to help as much as possible around the house. Thank you for trying to keep your connections as strong as you can.
Thank you for having your peers and friends in this world. Thank you for attempting to be fair regarding arguments. Thank you for always being there for your loved ones during challenging times. Thank you for enduring all your trauma in your past and dedicating your life not to pass it on to your children. Thank you for loving your father and mother even if they were imperfect. Thank you for realizing that you are not perfect, nor will you be the best, but you desire to be a better version of yourself every day. Thank you for helping others in need, even if you do not know them outside of work or family. Thank you for voting, even if you believe the statistics won’t add much. Thank you for being spiritual and hopeful for a better future. Thank you for praying as much as you can in this world.
Most of all, thank you for not giving up or giving in to the dark urges of your past, which would have most likely led to a premature end to your potential and the changes you can bring.
Thank you for being you, Sincerely, yourself.

Lets begin with Thank You
I thank you for letting me be free
Thank you for loving me
Oh what i would do without you
There would be no me without you
Thank you for letting me express
Thank you letting me me cry
Thank you for letting me jump around & dance
Thank you for finally standing up for yourself
Thank you for allowing me to receive love
Thank you for letting me show love
Thank you for not disregarding my feelings
Thank you for caring for me
Thank you for peace
Thank you for kindness
Thank you for smiling
Thank you for me
As i enjoy the breeze in the air
And Smile immensely in the now
I thank you for all you’ve done

Thank you for not giving up when everything was trying to tear you down
You fight unspoken battles every day
I’m so proud of you for not letting it become your new face
You are still finding your place

Thank you for searching for the smallest glimmer of hope to keep yourself around
You have learned to love what is often overlooked
Doing everything you can to find a more positive outlook

Thank you for being the light in others’ lives when you often struggle to be a spark in your own
You thrive when creating their sunshine
You’ll find yours in time

Thank you for focusing on your inner peace when it would be much easier to let your demons roam
How uncomplicated would it be to give in to the chaos
Let your soul turn to stone as your golden heart is squashed
But that wouldn’t be you
You are the gentle sound of an old record being played on a Sunday afternoon
Brightening someone’s day in such a simple way

I’m grateful that you’ve never let your warm heart turn cold
No matter what challenges unfold
In the darkest of skies, you are the moon
Always giving away your light hoping to help anyone who is feeling gloom

It’s in here somewhere, shaking, out of sight—
this gratitude I keep alive for me
that’s terrified by recognition’s light.

See!

It cowers, there. Don’t get too close; it bites,
a mangy mix of actuality
surviving off mere scraps of sacrifice,
resilience, sense, and stale tenacity.

My family gets first dibs on hearty foods.

I feed their inner praise with love-steeped roe,
exotic sprigs of righteousness in bloom,
and loaves of patience-risen sourdough,
ensuring that aplomb is absolute—
oh, look! My gratitude is nearly grown.

I know it wasn’t easy getting through those sleepless nights
When the words he said stuck in your head cut through you like a knife
Stuck in the bottom of the bottle of a nowhere town bar
You said “I can’t carry on” but you stayed strong now look at where we are
You thought his hands had stained you, the wounds were far too deep
Too caught in the flame “i’ll never be the same” your soul was his to keep
You kept your head up high as your world burned to the ground
Through all the pain you broke the chains until freedom was found
But even once the smoke had cleared you still couldn’t quite breathe
The days were hard dealing with scars that no one else could see
When I think back on those days now my heart fills with pride
That you stayed strong and carried on and for it we survived
I’m grateful I walked through the fire though I wanted to run
So thank you, me, for making me the woman I’ve become.