An imaginative idea flows along the rivers of blue, trying to figure out its next steps. Clouds of smoke fill the air as the fumes blur words and energize the mind. Sounds of entertainment surround this scene. The idea gets lost in a sea of mystery, dividing as time counts down. Throughout the day, it floats around while ink is being written. As it develops, the idea splatters in a variety of colors, but by day’s end, everything coalesces into one clear hue.

A majestic creature battles her demon day after day and looks deep down inside herself. She looks within and goes, “How do I get rid of the demon when it holds the key to staying connected?” She walked along the golden path and was greeted by two fairies. She pondered for a moment and asked.” Who are you?” The fairies said, “We have the magical powers to show you what you desire.” The majestic creature twiddled her thoughts and said,” How is this possible?” Where did you come from?” She had so many questions running through her fragile mind, but the only thing that blurted out was” How can you both get rid of what I’m facing right now?” The fairies sat her down and explained to her that we know you’ve been facing a demon. We wanted to let you know that the only key that can be set free from the demon is to look inside its soul. She was confused and tried to figure out what exactly did they exactly meant. The fairies told her to take this crystal wing and look into the center of the wing to see your desire. She said,” Are you sure this will work, cause she said she was torn between happiness, friendship, and a new balance in life” The fairies flew into the center of her palace and told her “You will only break the key free when you decide what’s right and overcome your fears. “Once you do that, the crystal wing will serve its purpose and make your magic stronger.” She took her crystal wing back to her palace and remembered what fairies told her to do. She couldn’t believe what she saw on that magical path. Hopefully, one day her special wing will soar in the wind when she’s ready.

Change. It’s a part of life.

Seasons change- the sun stays out longer, the leaves change colors and fall, the snow and ice melt, the plants begin to bloom again.
Humans change- as the years pass every person matures physically, socially, and emotionally.
Technology changes- new ideas develop and old ones are updated.
Culture changes- music and fashion fads become popular, then fade away, and sometimes come back again (though not all of those things should. Looking at you, fanny packs).

But, like it or not, ready or not, at some point everything changes.

Modify. Replace. Fade. Update. Improve. Decrease. Alter. Develop. Transform. Revive. Correct. Shift. Amend. Vary. Fluctuate. Tweak.

CHANGE. Everything changes.

I hate it. I hate change. I always have. Even more than hating change, I hate not seeing a REASON for the change. Which makes it difficult sometimes, when the Creator of the universe doesn’t think I need to know the reason, or at least not at the moment I’m asking for it.

I think this opposition to change first started when my family moved away from my childhood home at the end of 7th grade. Try telling an emotional middle school girl, who was very comfortable in her small Christian school and church, that she was now one of 500 kids at a new school where she knew no one. Needless to say, it didn’t go over well. Fast forward eight years when my parents decided to move again, this time, right before my senior year of college. I was so angry. Not at my parents, really, but at God. I felt he had ripped home away from me the last year I really needed it. It took months for me to get over that anger. Those two moves were defining moments in my life (more on that later). Looking back 21 years and 13 years respectively, I can see how the Lord worked both of those moves out for my good. (Funny how He always seems to do that). He used change to direct my life where He needed it to go, but at the time, I didn’t like the change.

Change. It’s a part of life. It’s a part of MY life. But for some reason, it has felt like this year has held more change than ever. Changes I can’t seem to understand. Changes I don’t want to understand. Change. I still hate it!

However, as I continue to wrestle through that ever-present loathing of change, I am beginning to see a thawing in my attitude towards it. Don’t get me wrong. I’m still not a fan. But, throughout this year, I have tried to more purposefully and consciously look back on what the Lord has done for me. As a history teacher, this was easy. I love looking back on the past. It is literally my job description. I now have 34 years to look back on and see how God has wisely and lovingly guided me through numerous expected and unexpected changes. My goal in the coming years is to remember that history. I spend my days telling kids to remember what He has done…it’s time I took my own advice! I have no better way to sum up this new focus and attitude, than a favorite quote of mine from the Chosen. Earlier this school year, I started to watch the Chosen for the first time, after years of one of my friends encouraging me to do so. I have not regretted it. In the Chosen episode when Peter walks on water, and Jesus pulls him from the waves, Jesus holds him tightly in the boat, and says to him, “I have much planned for you, Simon. Really hard things. Just keep your eyes on Me.” That quote has played over and over in my mind in the months since I first saw that episode. But now it has MY name in it. “I have much planned for you, Jessica Dawn. Really hard things. Just keep your eyes on Me.” Like it or not, ready or not, at some point everything changes…but you know what? I serve a God who is unchangeable. That thought grounds me more and more the older I get. MY Jesus “is the same yesterday, today, and forever” (Hebrews 13:8)!

A year ago, just a few months before my 33rd birthday, I sat down and wrote, for lack of a better phrase, a personal historical account. A record of several specific ways I had seen the Lord give me the “desires of my heart” (Psalm 37:4). I am not going to rehash that whole account (if you are interested in reading that, I might be willing to share). The purpose of this account is to explain how some of the things from last year’s account have already changed, and what the Lord has taught me through those changes. What I did last year was make a list of all my responsibilities at school/work and prioritize them based on what I felt the Lord had called me to do at that point in my life. Below is an excerpt from last year’s previously mentioned “historical account”.

I want to be the absolute best middle school history teacher I can be. I have a few specific goals to work on in my classroom in the next few months to make that a reality. I want to be a better basketball coach, but more purposefully seeking out the girls on my teams who need the Lord and discipling those who already know Him. I want to keep serving the Lord here in Wilmington. I’ve struggled with this thought throughout the last couple years, about whether this is where I need to stay, but over and over God has made it clear- WIlmington, NC is where I’m supposed to serve. WCA is where God wants me to be.

Shocking no one, the top two most important responsibilities on my list were teaching history and coaching basketball. It’s been that way since I was in 4th grade. I’ve never had a question mark behind that statement. God wants me to teach history and coach basketball. Period.

Looking for it, or not. Change comes.

That has been the unexpected theme of my Year 33. I started last April with a heart fully dedicated to being purposeful in the areas God had called me to serve, and I do believe I have done that. But in the midst of that passionate pursuit to be purposeful, He threw me a curveball. Several curveballs actually, and the first one was only a month after writing my Year 33 “historical account”.

After much prayer and consideration, I decided not to coach basketball this school year. Anyone who truly knows me, knows how hard of a decision that was to make, and how massive of a change that was in my life. Honestly? I struggled internally with that for months and barely spoke about it to anyone. I had peace about it when I made the decision, and I still have that peace today, but that change was so hard to process. Again, I don’t like change, especially not when I don’t see a good reason for the change, which was the case in this situation. I still do not have all the answers for this one, and that’s ok. God never promised to give us all the answers. Habakkuk is a great example of someone who never got the answers to the changes he saw, and “yet,…” (Habakkuk 3:18), he focused not on the changes, but on the God who allowed the changes. Later, Paul encourages us to “set our affection on things above” (Colossians 3:2). Or as Jesus tells Simon in the Chosen, “Just keep your eyes on Me.” I love basketball, and I love coaching, but the Lord needed to teach me some things off the court this year, and I am going to walk forward confidently in this change.

The second major change began just a few months after my decision to step away from coaching. I knew from before this school year ever started that I would have to make a decision about whether I believed the Lord still wanted me at WCA. This one is hard. Wilmington is my home. I have moved so many times in my life (the two mentioned at the beginning of this document was only the start!). God must have smiled on 13 year old Jessica crying about leaving Chesapeake, VA because He knew He’d be moving me ten more times…well, Eleven. For the past eight years, I have known beyond the shadow of a doubt that the Lord wanted me in North Carolina at Wilmington Christian Academy. But with just as much confidence, I now know, my time at WCA has come to an end. The opportunity to teach with my Dad and Mom up in Green Bay became available and I know the Lord is calling me to take that opportunity. The Lord is moving me…again. Processing this change has been tough. There’s a lot of feelings that have been rising to the surface as the school year has progressed that I do not like (for example, the tears running down onto my t-shirt as I write this). And yet, in the midst of my emotional processing, I have a peace “that passeth all understanding” (Philippians 4:7). I honestly can’t fully explain how confident and peaceful I feel about this decision, but it’s there. Please do not miss the irony of this situation, because it certainly has not been lost on me! Thirteen years ago, I was ANGRY at the Lord because He called my family away from Wilmington to go to Green Bay. We had only been in Wilmington for eight years, and I felt like I had been there my whole life. Wilmington WAS my life. Eight years ago, God brought me back to Wilmington as a teacher, and it has been wonderful. This was my “dream job” back in high school. I am so grateful for the time God allowed me to minister at WCA. But back to the irony… Now I have also made the decision to move away from Wilmington, my home- to the SAME place God took me kicking and screaming thirteen years ago. Again, the Lord must have smiled down on 21 year old Jessica knowing full well that the next time He asked this change of me, I’d respond differently. Wilmington will always be my home, but it’s time for the Lord to use me in a new ministry.

Just one year ago, I had several emphatic periods at the end of my purpose statements. I KNEW I was right where God wanted me to be. Little did I know those periods were actually supposed to be commas.

Modify. Replace. Fade. Update. Improve. Decrease. Alter. Develop. Transform. Revive. Correct. Shift. Amend. Vary. Fluctuate. Tweak. CHANGE. Everything changes.

I may not like change. I may not understand it. I may not be ready for it. But my God is unchanging and THAT is where I rest and find my peace in the midst of my questions and confusion and emotions. I was not prepared for either of these massive changes, but in closing, I want to challenge you with one more thought I have stolen from the Chosen and made my own. Matthew, the former tax collector turned disciple, tells a Roman officer that when he finds himself clouded with confusion, he stops and reminds himself, “I only have one thing to do today. Follow Him. Everything else seems to fall into place.”

This is the second year I have now written a “personal historical account”, reflection and purpose statement to guide my next year. Year 33 was my purposeful year. I am sitting here at the very beginning of Year 34, which I am now going to call my immutable year. It has been said that “there is nothing permanent in this world, except change.” Maybe that is true. But my goal this year is that I will continue to fix my eyes on the Old Rugged Cross as I seek to be faithful to the Immutable God who has given me the opportunity to serve Him. If I want to be like Jesus, that means, being immutable. Seasons, humans, technology, and culture changes, but my God remains the same- and asks the same of me. “Be ye steadfast, UNMOVEABLE, always abounding in the work of the Lord” (I Corinthians 15:58).

“I only have one thing to do today. Follow Him.”

Dear Me:

You’ve come so far, you’ve struggled hard,
Yet somehow you’ve gone nowhere.

You’ve been in love, you’ve been a friend,
But still can’t find someone who cares.

It’s not your fault, you’ve tried your best,
But just can’t help to feel ashamed.

You broke their trust, they broke your heart,
Still you are not the one to blame.

Your roads been rough, your feet are worn,
Yet you still walk through thick and thin.

You deserve a break, you deserve to live,
Stuck in the past is where you’ve been.

You do know better, you know right from wrong,
Yet you still make the same mistakes.

But you do you, you must go on,
It’s your strong will they cannot break.

You’re a good man, you’ve just made bad choices,
Don’t let them be what defines you.

You write these words, you know them well,
Don’t let bad vibes be the ones that find you.

Just be yourself, and love yourself,
Slowly one day things will get better.

You can do this it’s the choice you made,
When times get tough just read this letter.

april 21
a journal on fulfillment
unfortunately, I have spent a great deal of my thoughts on the ponderance of what it means to be fulfilled. how we quantify it, test it, live it. most of my 11:11 wishes wish for fulfillment. I know I’m not supposed to give away what I wish for, but that’s not all of it. I’ll keep the rest a secret. I’m under the belief that the majority of people die unfulfilled. the sole thought of going hungry, going broke, going homeless, terrifies people more than the feeling of never finding anything they are passionate about, never falling in love, never feeling like themselves, never feeling as if they’re living out their truth.

I fear both.

but I fear never following my passion more. it’s scary to know that money has to be earned and there is no task I currently wish to do in exchange for cash. purpose is so subjective yet as a society, I feel we have found a way to objectify purpose and place it in a see-through box to be displayed. everyone is looking at you, the pressure is on. inside the box, you must do what is subjectively providing a value that has money as currency. I’d rather have fulfillment as currency, get paid in love, joy, contentment, on my own terms. I choose to validate my inner truths rather than suppress them as I believe everyone ought to spend enough of their life digging deep enough within to understand who they are. instead of letting the world tell you. the world tells everyone who to be when they listen to it. but your soul will tell you who to be if you choose to listen to yourself. I think you can only hear yourself when you allow enough quiet, the only thing you can hear is your own production of thoughts, ones that were not placed in your brain externally but created in original form, strictly for your own acknowledgement.

I think a lot of people fear the quiet because they do not like to face the truths of self. most people are numbing themselves with alcohol, drugs, smoking, hooking up with strangers, partying, everyone seems to have a vice. it’s socially acceptable, even. but what is the true motive behind all of these? most people are deeply uncomfortable with the thoughts that arise when they allow enough silence in order for them to do so. and everything has a cost. everything is an energy exchange, for good or for bad.

when I was in the worst mental position I have ever been in, I hated being alone. I wanted to fill every silence, spend as much time with others, and numb all my thoughts with drinking, partying, or even eating. we find comfort externally to mask the internal turmoil we are destined to feel at some point in our lives. but acceptance of the good and the bad will allow the upheaval of the bad. as when you accept the dark parts of you, you shine a little light on them. over time, they transform to light. you can create life from death. there is renewal in endings. there is a golden nugget in everything that sucks. but if you spend too much time ignoring the darkness, you will never know how well the light within you shines.

it’s so easy to follow a path and I wish there was one that made sense for me to follow. it would allow be much easier. but I feel as if I have gotten too comfortable with the depths of myself that I can never go to a surface level to complete a mission not created by the innerworkings of my soul. I’m too deep into the acknowledgement of who I am to skip over, neglect, those parts of me. whatever I end up doing in life has to touch my soul in some way. and maybe that will allow me to open up as a vessel of light to others. or maybe it will only go as deep as to shine through myself, never reach anyone. I think my purpose will someday reach others through myself, but maybe it won’t.

nonetheless, in order to feel as if you have a reason to live, you have to feel like you are fulfilling a purpose or achieving something. that looks different for everyone. but in general, working towards any sort of goal provides meaning in your daily life. I truly believe those who take their own life felt as though day to day life was not fulfilling. they felt as if everything they were working towards had no meaning, a complete lack of passion or care for how they were spending their time. the exchange of their time was not providing any sort of deeper satisfaction. a complete lack of satisfaction. that’s why I think even people who are depressed, when they are working towards something, never switch over to being suicidal. because they have a reason to be alive every day. I have met a handful of people in my lifetime who have openly admitted to being suicidal in their life at some point. and they said the reason they never did it was because they felt like they still had some sort of reason to be alive. for some people, they started training for something like a marathon or even just a weight loss journey, and every day, it gave them a reason to be alive. some people have a pet they have to feed every day; and if not them, the pet would not be alive. or they have a promotion they are working for, and it gives them purpose day to day.

but the key to this point is that you have to like what you’re doing, feel as though it is fulfilling a part of you that has been empty. people who feel directionless, or as if they are fulfilling someone else’s dream are more likely to be depressed, or even suicidal. that’s why the distinction of the soul’s desires from worldly placement is astronomically important.

we actually have a very long life to live and that often gets ignored in the urgency of chasing money. motives have been skewed to the value you can provide for others rather than the value you can find within yourself.

the debate I have been internally struggling with for some time is whether or not my personal fulfillment is worth the potential external failure. on the outside looking in, dropping everything and going broke to do the Camino de Santiago sounds reckless and a waste of time. but my purpose comes from soul searching, spending time with the Creator, and feeling within myself. the woods are my element and the answers of what it means to be human, for me at least, exist within them. walking every day from Albergue to Albergue will provide my purpose. and mine alone. for I claim my own direction. while walking every day provides no benefit for the world around me, the world inside me will be nurtured in a way money cannot buy.

that’s the problem, we focus on the things money can buy. we assign value in what can be purchased by paper we earned in exchange for our time. we are told not to focus on anything else as most people feel like spending time delving into the significance of human existence has no real intrinsic value. as they fear the confrontation of any spirituality. but I would argue the sole reason we are here is to uncover all the parts of our soul that are flooded with meaningless jargon pressured upon us as a distraction from who we really are and why we’re here.

when we leave the earth behind, you’ll die with all the things you have acquired. and if you spent a lifetime creating a soul that will ever last death, your fear of death will evaporate. but those finding fulfillment in chasing wealth and materialistic things to quantify, will fear death, likely laying on their deathbed thinking of all the things they should have done, the things that once mattered to them that perhaps had no external, objective value.

when I look back on the 24 years I’ve lived thus far, all my most rewarding and valuable moments have not earned me any money or have provided me with anything tangible. they have all been moments that I felt my soul was nurtured. that’s what life is all about. nurturing our soul and dying with moments that live on.

Let go.
Let go—
of people who no longer walk beside you,
of things that weigh down your spirit,
of places that no longer feel like home.
Let go—
of the self you no longer recognize,
of the inner voice that whispers doubt,
of labels that confine your essence.
Let go—
of habits that dim your light,
of relationships that drain your energy,
of mistakes etched in yesterday’s shadows.
Let go—
of the past that clings,
of the future that looms,
of the fear that stifles the present.
Let go—
of perspectives that no longer serve,
of wounds that ache in silence,
of hurts that echo in your heart.
Let go—
of your first love’s memory,
of your last love’s goodbye,
of the scarcity mindset that limits your abundance.
Let go—
of all that was once known,
of truths that no longer resonate,
of anything that doesn’t align with your soul today.
Let go—
to move forward,
to welcome unwritten chapters,
to embrace the story only you can write.

Hello.
Hello—
to new faces that light up your path,
to new things that spark joy,
to new places that feel like belonging.
Hello—
to beginnings that stir excitement,
to opportunities that beckon growth,
to chances that invite courage.
Hello—
to loves that nurture,
to abundance that flows freely,
to the present that grounds you.
Hello—
to yourself,
to your essence,
to the life you are destined to live.

Let go—
to surrender to your journey,
to trust in your becoming,
to write the story that is uniquely yours

Evil is not an entity. It is not a being, nor a force that moves on its own. It does not float through the universe, waiting to strike. Evil is born. And it is born inside us—not as something separate but as something we create, shape, and give life to through emotions we fail to control, thoughts we refuse to confront, and actions we justify in moments of weakness.

At the root of every evil act, you will find a wounded emotion—someone betrayed, angered, humiliated, or broken. In that moment of pain, they make a choice. A choice that carries weight. A choice that alters reality.

The Role of Emotions in the Birth of Evil

Emotions are tools, nothing more. They are meant to guide us, like a compass navigating the currents of life. But just like fire, they can either warm and illuminate or burn and destroy. And here lies the truth: Evil is never born from happiness. It is a byproduct of suffering.

A person who is happy, at peace, and fulfilled naturally makes choices that align with harmony. It is rare—almost impossible—for a truly happy person to intentionally harm someone. Evil does not breed in joy. It breeds in pain.

Pain clouds judgment, poisons logic, and blinds the spirit. It convinces a person that destruction is justified, that revenge is righteous, that cruelty is strength. Pain is the doorway where evil enters.

Think about it:

• When does a man decide to kill? When his anger, fear, or jealousy blinds him.
• When does a woman decide to destroy? When betrayal, bitterness, or grief consumes her.
• When does a child become cruel? When their suffering teaches them that cruelty is power.

Pain fuels destruction. And the greater the pain, the stronger the reaction. This is why when a person is deeply hurt, their immediate decisions are almost never rational. Their actions come from raw emotion, not thought.

Now, some will ask: What about those who are born evil? The ones who harm without reason? The ones who kill without provocation?

The answer is simple: No one is born evil. But some are programmed to become it.

The Generational Cycle of Evil

Some people do not need pain to be cruel. They do not need betrayal to deceive, nor loss to destroy. Their actions seem driven by something deeper, something instinctual. But even they are not born evil. They are programmed into it.

• A child raised in chaos learns chaos as truth.
• A mind exposed to cruelty accepts cruelty as normal.
• A soul deprived of love forgets what love feels like.

This is how evil moves through generations—not as an inherent trait, but as a repeated pattern. The sins of the past embed themselves in the present, rewriting the mind before it has a chance to form independently.

And unless broken, this pattern continues, spreading like a disease across bloodlines, across civilizations, across time itself.

Yet, there is always a choice. Always.

No programming is absolute. No destiny is fixed. Even the deepest darkness can be undone—but only by those who see it. And this is why most do not change—because they do not recognize the chains they wear.

The Illusion of Justified Evil

Here is where things get dangerous: Most people who commit evil do not believe they are doing wrong.

Evil does not announce itself. It does not say, I am destruction. Instead, it whispers:

• I am justice.
• I am necessary.
• I am right.

No one believes they are the villain in their own story.

• The man who seeks revenge believes he is delivering justice.
• The leader who oppresses people believes he is securing order.
• The woman who manipulates others believes she is protecting herself.

This is the great deception—evil rarely sees itself as evil.

When emotion controls the mind, logic bends to fit its desires. And when logic bends, reality distorts—a distortion where cruelty becomes necessary, where harm becomes justified, where destruction becomes an act of self-righteousness.

The greatest evils in history were not committed by people who thought they were wrong. They were committed by those who believed they were right.

But the truth is simple:

If your pain is controlling your decisions, you are not in control. You are being controlled.

How to Break Free from the Cycle of Evil

If emotions give birth to evil, then the only way to fight evil is to master emotions.

Not to suppress them—not to pretend they don’t exist—but to understand them and use them wisely.

1. Recognize your triggers. What emotions make you react instantly without thinking?
2. Pause before action. The biggest mistakes in life happen because people act in the heat of emotion. Learn to wait. Learn to breathe.
3. Detach from the illusion of control. Many people act out of pain because they feel powerless. But power does not come from controlling others—it comes from controlling yourself.
4. Rewrite your programming. If your bloodline has a history of destruction, it is up to you to end it. Awareness is the first step. Choice is the second. Action is the third.
5. Do not trust your emotions in the moment of pain. If you make decisions while you are hurt, angry, or afraid, you are handing your power to the very thing you are trying to escape.

Final Thought: The Truth About Evil

Evil is not a monster hiding in the dark. It is not an external force waiting to attack.

It is simply what happens when emotion overpowers wisdom.

No one is born evil.

But anyone can become it.

The question is—who is in control? You or your emotions?

You Discover to Recover .
Life is not about waking up, working, eating, and sleeping. It is not about surviving day by day without questioning why you are here. Life is a journey of self-discovery. It is about peeling back everything that has been placed upon you—your name, your culture, your beliefs—and finding out who you truly are.  
Many people go through life lost, not because they are incapable, but because they have never taken the time to discover themselves. They live based on the expectations of their parents, society, religion, and culture, never realizing that all of these things are external influences. But the truth is,  you are more than your identity. We must awaken to the realization that we are not just physical beings, but spiritual entities, connected to the universe and all its wonders. This journey of self-discovery is the foundation upon which we build our lives, and it’s crucial that we grasp these fundamental concepts to unlock our full potential and fulfill our divine purpose. You must  discover yourself to recover from all the confusion, limitations, and doubts that the world has placed upon you. Only when you truly know yourself can you live a meaningful life. This journey is about unlearning what you thought was you and stepping into the truth of who you really are.
1: Who Are You? (Beyond Your Name and Identity)
The first step in self-discovery is asking:  Who am I? 
Most people believe they are their name, their nationality, or their religion. But if you remove those things, what is left? Who were you before you were given a name? Who were you before you were taught to think a certain way? The truth is, you are not your identity—you are the one experiencing the identity.  You are not your body—you are the one inside the body. You are not your thoughts—you are the one  watching the thoughts. As we delve deeper into our inner world, we’ll discover that our true essence is not just a physical body, but a multidimensional being, consisting of body, mind, and spirit. We are a spark of the divine, a droplet of the infinite ocean, and our true nature is connected to the universe and all its wonders. We must discover who we are, what we stand for, and what our values and principles are.
How to Discover Who You Truly Are
1. Question everything. Why do you believe what you believe? Did you choose it, or was it given to you?  
2. Spend time alone. Without distractions, you begin to hear your own voice.  
3. Observe yourself.  Notice your emotions, your habits, and your instincts. They tell you more about yourself than words ever can.  
4. Listen to your intuition.  Deep inside, you already know who you are. The problem is, the world has silenced that voice.  
Once you begin to separate yourself from the labels placed upon you, you will start to feel lighter because you are returning to your true self.  
Step 2: Where Are You? (Understanding Your Environment)
Once you know who you are, the next question is:  Where are you?  Not just physically, but spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.  
Your environment is not just the place you live—it is everything around you that shapes your mind. The people you talk to, the beliefs you hold, the energy that surrounds you—all of these things influence your growth. By recognizing our place in the world, we can begin to appreciate the complexities and nuances of our existence. We are not separate from the world around us, but an integral part of it. We are connected to the earth, the air, the water, and the fire, and our actions have a profound impact on the delicate balance of nature. We must understand our role in the world, our responsibilities, and our contribution to the greater good.
How to Discover Where You Are
1. Look at your surroundings. Are they helping you grow or keeping you trapped?  
2. Pay attention to your emotions. Do you feel free, or do you feel stuck?  
3. Check your energy.  Are you in a place where your true self can thrive, or are you just surviving?  
A seed planted in the wrong soil will never grow. The same applies to humans. If you are in an environment that limits your mind, you will never evolve. Sometimes, the only way to truly discover yourself is to change where you are. If your surroundings do not support your growth, you must seek out a new space—mentally, emotionally, or even physically.  
Step 3: Why Are You Here? (Discovering Your Life Purpose)
This is the question that separates those who live with meaning from those who simply exist:  Why are you here? No  one is here by accident. Every soul that enters this world has a purpose, a role to play in the grand design of the universe. But most people never find their purpose because they never ask the right questions. Your purpose is not just about having a job or making money. It is about what you give to the world, what you  create,  what you  build. It is about the energy you bring to others and the mark you leave behind. We must discover our mission, our vision, and our reason for being. This self-awareness will guide us to live a life that is authentic, meaningful, and help us fulfill our divine purpose.
How to Discover Your Purpose 
1. Look at what excites you. What do you love doing, even when no one is watching?  
2. Pay attention to what people come to you for.  What do others naturally seek your help with?  
3. Think about what challenges you’ve overcome. Your greatest struggles often prepare you for your greatest purpose.  
4. Listen to your inner voice.  What is that one thing you’ve always felt called to do?  
Purpose is not something you find—it is something you uncover.  It has always been inside you, waiting for you to remember it.  
The Truth About Life
Many people search for meaning in books, religions, and other people. But the truth is,  the answers you seek are already inside you. The problem is, most people are too distracted to listen. Life is not about waiting for something to happen. It is about actively discovering who you are, where you are, and why you are here. Because the moment you answer these three questions,  everything changes. You stop living in fear. You stop following the crowd. You stop searching for validation. As we navigate this journey, we’ll encounter various spiritual principles that will guide us on our path. We’ll discover the law of attraction, the power of intention, and the importance of mindfulness. We’ll learn to cultivate gratitude, compassion, and forgiveness, and we’ll understand the value of living in the present moment
You become  who you were always meant to be.  
So start today. Discover yourself. And in doing so, recover the life you were meant to live.

A Reflection on Existence

The concept of the  future is one of the greatest deceptions ever accepted by the human mind. We are taught from childhood to believe in it, to chase it, to plan for it, as if it is something real, something tangible, something awaiting us. But the truth is, the future does not exist.  It never has. It is nothing more than a thought, a projection of the mind that keeps us distracted from the only thing that has ever truly existed:  the present moment.

We live under the illusion of time, dividing it into past, present, and future, as if these are separate realities when in truth,  they are all the same. There is no past. There is no future. There is only NOW Whatever you call the past was once  NOW. Whatever you call the future will only ever arrive as NOW. So what, then, is the difference? There is none.

The Deception of Time
Human beings have created clocks, calendars, and timelines to measure existence, but energy, the very essence of life, does not move in a straight line. It is not bound by beginning or end. It simply  IS Everything you have ever been, everything you will ever be, already exists within you right now. Time is not a force of nature; it is a mental construct, a tool designed to help us function within this three-dimensional world. But a tool is not reality.  

We deceive ourselves into believing that the future holds something different, something more, something greater. “One day, I will be happy.” “One day, I will have everything I need.” “One day, I will understand.” But that  one day never comes. Because whenever it does, it is no longer the future, it is just another NOW If you cannot enjoy something now, you will never enjoy it at all.  

What About the Past?
If there is no future, does that mean there is no past? Yes. Because past and future are two sides of the same illusion. The past is nothing more than a memory, a story we tell ourselves, shaped by perception, colored by emotion. It does not exist outside of our minds. Just like the future, it is a projection. We say, This happened, but all that truly exists is our remembrance of it right now.

And yet, everything is energy. Energy is not born, nor does it die,it simply changes form. It has no beginning, no end, and no direction. If something has no origin and no destination, how can it have a past or a future? It cannot. The only reality is the infinite unfolding of energy, experienced through the limited perception of human consciousness.  

The Purpose of Human Existence
So why are we here? Why this world, this experience? Because Earth is a gathering place for energy. Everything you see, everything you touch, everything you ARE it is all energy, interacting, reflecting, learning from itself. You do not know yourself without me, just as I do not know myself without you. Our existence is defined by the presence of others.

Humanity is not just a species, it is a  stage in consciousness. A temporary phase, a learning process. When our understanding of this world is complete, when we have taken all we need from this form, we transcend. We evolve into something else, something higher, something more refined. Perhaps an angel, perhaps a god, perhaps something beyond even our current imagination.  

But the transition is not automatic. The energy you cultivate here determines what you become next. You could ascend into higher consciousness, or you could descend into something darker. A monster, a lost spirit, a force trapped in endless cycles of confusion. The choice is yours, shaped by the awareness you develop while in this body.  

The Only Truth
So if the future does not exist, and the past is only a memory, what is left?  

Only THIS; This moment, this breath, this feeling. The only purpose, the only true responsibility we have, is to make this existence meaningful. Not by waiting for the future, not by being trapped in the past, but by understanding  the now. Because this is all there is, and all there will ever be.  

William Joseph

To those who seek silence,  

There is a belief—a fragile, deceptive belief—that somewhere, somehow, quietness exists. That if one escapes far enough, buries themselves deep enough in solitude, or stills their mind with enough discipline, they will finally find it. But the truth is, quietness is an illusion. You will never know this until you become quiet yourself.  

The moment you sit in what you think is silence, you realize—there is no such thing. The world hums, vibrates, whispers beneath its breath. The wind murmurs through the trees. The walls creak as if sighing under the weight of time. Even your own body, the very thing you seek to still, betrays you—the steady rhythm of your breath, the pulsing of your blood, the subtle ringing in your ears that you had never noticed before.  Even in the most desolate places, there is sound.

And yet, in the modern world, we are so flooded with distractions that we do not even recognize the absence of quietness.  Noise has become our default state. The endless hum of technology, the constant barrage of notifications, the artificial voices that demand our attention—these things do not just fill space, they erase our ability to perceive true presence.  Social media, smartphones, and the digital world have not just taken our attention; they have stolen our ability to experience memory in its purest form. When noise never stops, reflection never begins.  

Memory itself is tied to quietness. True recollection happens in stillness, in the absence of external noise. But how can one remember when they are never still? How can one reflect when their mind is constantly being filled with artificial chatter? The ability to be alone with one’s thoughts has become a lost art, drowned beneath the never-ending stream of information.  

And what of death? If one cannot find quietness in life, can they find it in death? Perhaps not. For even then, the soul is energy, and  energy never truly rests. Frequency exists beyond the physical, and who is to say that the afterlife is not just another form of vibration, another realm of sound beyond what we can perceive? Silence, true silence, may not even belong to the dead.  

So, if quietness is an illusion, what is left?  Awareness. To recognize that you will never escape sound, that you will never truly silence the world, but that in understanding this, you can choose which sounds you allow into your mind. You can choose to hear yourself beyond the noise. And maybe, just maybe, that is as close as we will ever come to quietness.

William Joseph

Thank you very much
Hide quoted text

On Mon, Feb 24, 2025, 10:43 PM Lauren Brill wrote:
Click write a letter now in the top right once you are signed in and then you can put it in the “chasing your dreams” category.

Lauren

On Mon, Feb 24, 2025 at 10:25 PM Leroy Bragg wrote:
Thank you very much, where would I put the story at
On Mon, Feb 24, 2025, 10:15 PM Lauren Brill <lauren@theunsealed.com

So for 24 years I have been a lube/tire tech, I have worked some Amazing jobs and never expected to move up, well after my Longest reign of 7 years at a job, I had a opportunity to get within 10 minutes of my home.So I hated leaving but it was time to go.The first day at this new job was SPECTACULAR, after that it was A NIGHTMARE, I regretted going to work, but I was working 5 days a week so I really couldn't leave.I received a call from my job I walked out on 20 years ago.It just so happened the interview was the day we were getting off work early for a Christmas party ( I didn't go to the party) I went to the job was Ready to be a LUBE TECH ( he didn't need what I was) So I figured a porter or something smaller,( I didn't care I WANTED OUT of that other job and I was willing to DO ANYTHING.My boss told me I was to be PDI TECH( ALOT BETTER and better pay) So I GREATLY ACCEPTED.I would quit this other job ( another story) And I'm VERY HAPPY I HAVE AMAZING COWORKERS, I'M HAPPY, and I love MY JOB AGAIN ( FIRST TIME IN YEARS) I THANK GOD for All the hardships cause it led me to my Final Auto shop.I don't know how long I have left to work on cars, But honestly I'm just getting started.PH 4:13 I Can do all things through Christ who strengthen me.

out of the echoing cave
By: Jim Kellogg
(The Queer Poet)
2-2025

the shards of glass
from the broken mirror
pierce the heavy and dark clouds
causing a turbulent storm
overwhelming and
tossing me around without direction
the invisible wounds have festered for years
leaking like droplets from a frozen river on a sunny day
i feel like i am trapped in an echoing cave

then…

i see her
my brave and cherished mother
a woman who shed her own tears
sometimes silent
sometimes wailing
she harkens me to the edge of the echoing cave
there…
she shows me an open window
an unexpected means of letting go

What does it mean to have your dreams come true? I’m from a small town and my entire life I have heard “you can’t.” “You’re from a small town, it’s impossible.” Well, I am here to tell you, it is possible. If you were to ask any 10 people on the street, they would say “I wish I had chased my dreams when I was younger.” Everything has its own way of happening on its own time. And I am living proof. My first novel will be published on May 18th of this year, I have began to sing in public again after several years, I have someone who loves me for me and doesn’t look at me like an object and my family has seen my smile returned to me. Thank you The Unsealed for helping me achieve my writing dreams and I can’t wait to see what happens next!

feb 3
a journal on pursuit.
what if you did? what if you just kept going? what if that dream of yours wasn’t actually too big? that things start aligning, making sense. what if? most people look at what if in a negative light but what if something fucking incredible happened? what if you do in the future, in this moment, for the future? instead of the reminiscent ‘what if’, the optimistic version. perhaps there is no negative outcome of the pursuit of anything. as even failure has its benefits. even failure is a step towards achievement. as some movement is better than none at all. even when its redirection. even when it feels like the world is rejecting you, you are still on the path you are meant to be on, as long as that dream of yours goes nowhere.

truly, I believe everyone has desires deep within them that will never go anywhere. no matter if you try to supplement this desire by something arguably more ‘realistic’, it will never go away. nothing can ever scratch the itch of a dream you have except the pursuit of said dream itself. the more you hesitate, the more you cast fear and doubt on this dream, the farther it will feel. yet the stronger pull you have towards it. the more you tell yourself it isn’t possible, that it’s stupid to think you could have that, the more you will create a pull towards it. so why suppress it? why spend a life going after things you don’t truly want in hopes your truest desires will be fulfilled through supplementation?

most people say they wanted to be something, and decided otherwise as it didn’t seem practical. those people are not truly happy or fulfilled in what they chose to do instead. they are living a life of phony, of pretend. the active decision to not pursue their truest self. how can you argue with your own truth? as if your soul doesn’t reveal its own truth, but your mind will for it?

for years, I could feel exactly in my soul what I wanted out of life. I wished to be aloof in a beautiful way, out in the world, authentically, organically connecting with people of all origins and finding a way to impact communities globally. I always wanted to be a famous writer. to spend as much time as possible creating. I’ve always had an adventure spirit, and a creative mind. I’ve always had a fear or not seeing enough, experiencing enough, meeting enough people, creating enough memories. since I was young, fomo has kept me up at night. the fear of missing out. my parents would always tell me, “the day is over, you can do more tomorrow.” but that answer never silenced the desire in my brain to do as much as I could. I’ve always been so hungry for life. it has always came naturally to want more, to challenge each day, to search for beauty in every single day.

admittedly, I have spent a lot of time pursuing other passions, hoping that my truest passion would go away on its own. how foolish of me. to silence my own voice. to suppress my own purpose and wonder why I cannot find purpose elsewhere? that nothing else in the world has felt like I’m meant to do it, makes sense why now. I thought I wouldn’t be able to be out in the world on my own, so instead I got a job to travel and make money doing that, which sounds ideal. but it doesn’t scratch the itch enough. it isn’t enough. it is not the authentic, organic, traveling I am craving. and it will never be enough no matter how many times I try to tell myself that is the only way I’ll be capable of what I want to do, an easier way out of what I actually want to be out in the world doing. I have always written, but have always put it on the backburner. I have always told myself that it isn’t good enough, that in no way could I be a successful poet, writer, on my own. that I had to have a normal job and it could always just be a passion on the side.

but these thoughts consume me.

these passions consume me.
that’s how I know they are meant to be pursued relentlessly. no matter what I try to do instead, there will always be a nagging voice in the back of my mind containing my truth, begging for my acknowledgment. begging for my honest effort, and full effort towards it. as nothing will work out for me until I am on the path of truth. the versions of me that has tried to suppress my truth are the versions of me that keeps feeling rejection from the universe in different forms.

so, that feeling, urge, deep in your soul will never go away. trust it. respect it. chase it. spend your life not only in acknowledgement of it, but in pursuit of it.