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  • MMansfield28 shared a letter in the Group logo of Remembering those we lost/GriefRemembering those we lost/Grief group 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    My Purple Heart

    Purple is the color ribbon for chronic diseases. My sister was a victim of Lupus. A disease where your body attacks tissue and their is no cure or no real understanding of just why it happens. I affect Black Women the most and it did with my sister at 21. Right when she lost her first baby a day after he was born, she had to find out she had a disease that would eventually be the main cause of her death. Every day it’s hard to wake up. Sometimes I don’t sleep because I know she won’t be there. Everyone grieves differently. My siblings are the world to me. They’re my soul. My sister was my her, my twin sister is my other half, my older brother is my protector. I lost a piece of my soul and my heart the day she died. I’ve had health scares. Almost died myself due to the stress exacerbating my asthma I had since I was 2. It was the scariest and deadliest one I had. There are things I keep with my therapist that make me this reckless and apathetic empath I’ve become. I don’t want to discuss that, because I want to remember my sister and spread the word and hopefully, one day, get answers to a debilitating disease that I don’t see many know about. I want to spread her story, my love, my grief, my determination, and what she loved and begged me never to give up on; my writing.

    SJ(I'm still finding a pseudonym)
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    • Dear So,
      I am so very sorry to read about the loss of your dear sister. Sometimes life can be so unfair. You are stronger then you think. I know you will always keep your sister’s memory in your heart. She will give you strength.

      Keep your heart open,
      Shelley

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      • Thank you very much. I really appreciate your words of kindness and upliftment. It really has been a hard road. Still is. But she always loved my writing, so I’m glad I get to do that as something for her also.

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    • As someone who currently suffers from a chronic disease, this really hits me hard. I currently suffer from Rheumatoid Arthritis. Like Lupus it attacks tissue and moreso joints. I’m so sorry for the loss of your sister to Lupus.
      Loss is a tough thing to come to terms with. I lost my Mom 12 days after I turned 23. She died from a heart attack in my arms. I felt so powerless as I felt her take her last breath. I know what you’re feeling and I wish I could take your pain away.

      Please know that it is ok to feel pain like you’re feeling in this moment. Our family is the most difficult to experience a loss in. I know it may not seem like it right now, but the pain does subside eventually. I’d be lying if I said it goes completely away but it does get better. If you need to talk to someone, reach out to me here or Lauren can connect you with me more directly. May your sisters memory remain with you and the love you shared keep you in the hard times.

      Amor Vincit Omnia, (Love Conquers All)

      -Roger

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    • Dear So,
      I have had loss in my life. The two most amazing people in my life- my mom and dad. But by no means am I gonna say that I know what you went through with your sister. Everyone’s situation is their own. But I can relate I guess. Nothing can prepare you for these situations. My mom passed, and it was awful. And then 18 years later when dad passed , even tho I went through it once, it was like going through it the first time again. I don’t have advice. Except maybe take life one day at a time. And take things at your own pace. There is no manual for this. The best I’d tell you is live your life the best you can in the way your sister would want you to. That seems like a good way to honor your sister to me. Things may or may not get better so to speak. But they will become different and more manageable. Stay strong. You need to. For you. And for your sister

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    • The loss of a better half or best friend grants a gift on the other side. I lost my grandmother at 25. She was my best friend, and it hurt me deeply to watch the ending of her life. Someone so beautiful, talented, and funny leaves the world alone and depressed. I grieved so deeply that I had her remains inserted in a locket I would wear around my neck. She traveled with me worldwide and gave me the strength to think of myself as worthy, strong, and beautiful. I like to think I gave her the restful peace she always needed so she could go on in the cosmos wherever she wants.

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