To my Cuerpo
When we were young mommy taught us to care for our bodies internally, clean our bodies and protect our bodies from falling and breaking bones. As we got older I learned I was supposed to love you. Unfortunately someone robbed us of that authentic love. Someone you thought you could trust. I hated you. I wanted to hide you. I didn’t want you to be liked and desired by an old man. I felt uncomfortable with you. I was scared and timid to even defend you. It was wrong to be desired by this man. I would get a boost of happiness when someone my age gave me attention because it wasn’t him. I didn’t just let anyone in you but we got distracted by bad attention. In high school we dealt with a lot of comparisons which made it even more difficult to love you. Now I’m realizing I can’t recall a time when I loved you. I should have treated you right. I should have worn those outfits and done that hairstyle. Even when you spent 40 Weeks creating my baby girl and a long weekend delivering her to this world. I should’ve appreciated you. I should have welcomed each stretch mark. I should’ve appreciated my breast for creating milk for her. And though I could go on with plenty of “should haves” I am happy I do not feel the exact same as before. I am learning to forgive myself for hating you. I have gratitude now and though I may make mistakes I am learning to love you. I am learning to accept and own each “flaw”. I am going to love you from head to toe. From each stretch mark even to my first gray hair. My smile and how small my eyes get when I laugh. My strong legs and hands. I am sorry for the past but give me time. It’ll be worth it and it’ll feel amazing when I finally love YOU.
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Voting ends October 19, 2023 11:59pm
Aww Michelle. I am so sorry for what happened to you when you were younger. I am sure you know it was not your nor your body’s fault. A predator is a predator. I am so glad to hear you are learning to give yourself and your body grace. You so deserve it. Your body houses a pretty strong soul, and for that alone, you should be so proud. Keep growing more and more in love with your beautiful self. Thank you for your strength, and thank you for your beautiful letter. <3 Lauren