I was born & raised in the hottest city on earth, MIAMI! Yet, it’s 95 degrees outside on a Saturday afternoon and I have on a leather jacket. In fact, on any day of the week in the heat I wore a jacket. I don’t know how I survived the heat wearing a jacket for so long without passing out but the weight of my insecurities always covered me. I was so subconscious about my skin and being underweight that I didn’t like what I saw when I looked in the mirror. I didn’t like looking at my body uncovered. Honestly, I just didn’t like “ME”. So, I threw on a jacket and it put my mind at ease to cover up my body. I didn’t always think this way about myself but when I constantly heard this in all aspects of my life, I started to believe it to be true. I believed something was wrong with my body. Until a few years later, I was invited to creative direct for Miami Swim Fashion Week and one of the models dropped out at the last minute and the designer was a dear friend of mine. She desperately asked me to walk in the fashion show for her in a two piece bathing suit. No cover up no beach jacket, just a 2 string bathing suit. Before she could get it all out, I immediately froze and I turned to her and said “I’LL DO IT!”. But in the back of my mind, all the color left my body and I wanted to break down and cry. In the midst of all my intrusive thoughts, I kept hearing my subconscious tell me “THIS IS YOUR TIME TO BREAK FREE, ITS TIME TO LET GO!”. I immediately scrambled to the dressing room to change clothes and with less than 5 minutes to get into hair & make up, I put on my bathing suit and made my way to the stage and in the midst of me walking out to the crowd my heart was beating a millions miles a minute and I closed my eyes to tell myself “YOU GOT THIS!”. Moments later I opened my eyes and began strutting down the runway. I immediately felt this overwhelming power let go of me, and that became an out of body experience. I started to feel like no one else was in the room but me and all of the lights, like I was floating. I felt amazing I felt so free, especially not with a heavy leather jacket on that was not only weighing down on my body but it was harboring my spirit too. I left that stage that day realizing that I am divinely made, one of kind and most importantly, it’s ok to love myself and my body. I LOVE ME
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OMG Stacee, this is so good. I live in Miami and a jacket in Miami all year long is crazy. I love how stepped out of your comfort zone in such a big way — Miami Swim Week! That is so badass. So glad, it helped you see your true power and paved the way for you to love yourself as is. Thank you for sharing such an inspiring story. <3 Lauren
Stacee , I felt seen very seen in this letter. I love how candid and raw cut it is. This is Me. Now in social settings , now on a stage and in my mind.
I am so incredbily glad you pushed through! You didn’t let your intrusive thoughts get the best of you!! Wow!! I am in awe. I haven’t ever in my life wore a 2 piece swim suit. I like the past you , would always want felt the need to have a cover up… because my insecurities were showing. You are a gem. In the midst of what seemed liked a ultra scary decision you made it feel so light airy and peaceful! Thank you so much for sharing. I definitely hope to see you grace more runways in the near future!! Keep soaring!