Activity
-
marinaskye shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 4 months, 2 weeks agoThe Burning Couch
Marina S DaviesThe couch. I bought the big leather couch, chair, and ottoman back in 1999 or 2000 I think. I was working on the boats at the time. Had a few boatguy friends that would come right before or right after season to hang out… some pretty big guys. I bought the big furniture in a time when you could get that set for $1500 I think. And it was built to last. I still can’t believe how well it was made compared to what you get now for the same price.
A crush and my brother helped me get it into the house..and it wasn’t easy.
When my ex and I bought this house it wasn’t any easier getting it in here.Last Spring I tried to get it out of here by myself and quickly realized I might die trying. While it was still standing on end from my attempt at finagling it out the door, I cut out the material on the bottom and saw the bones of it… it was beautiful.. real wood, lots of it… straps were as high quality as the best ratchet straps of today. The springs across the bottom were thick and solid. I cut open the one cushion that had finally broke down, and those springs too, were heavy duty. I ordered a replacement spring pack, which was much lighter built than the original I found, not the old, solid, barely squash support of 25 years ago. I took an awl and sewed the leather back together. I bought a slip cover (pretty nice one) thinking, I could rescue this couch, build it back better and not just toss it away.
As time went by, I just couldn’t sit on it. It sat empty. It looked better on the outside, but it sat like a big ass sad emblem of itself. And it had been ruined from the inside, of another who defiled it.
Gone were the multiple big asses that sat on it, at times slept on it. Gone were the dogs that had curled up on it, scratching it ever so slightly with their paws. Gone were the times I could curl my feet under me, or lay across it with my head in another’s lap watching yet another hunting show…or even better, Walking Dead.
I had hinted to others that I wanted it out, for the past 9 or so months. No one took the hint. I think some things are just meant to be done on your own. So the other night….
I cut it’s coverings off… razor to leather… the leather on couches from back then was much better, thicker, more like hide. Cut out enough foam to get to those nice big chunks of wood that were it’s frame with the skillsaw. Cut it into two manageable pieces… scooted it out the door (still had to get the right angle to make it happen).. pushed it down the stairs, and dragged it to the the far end of the yard.
As I poured some expired peanut oil on it, and put a couple of dry pieces of wood in a cardboard box in the middle of it to get it started…. a sadness engulfed me… as the fire would soon engulf the couch. I had started this with anger, but it ended with grief. Like for real grief.
As I watched that fire (I couldnt believe how fast it went up), the last 24 years of time with this couch went through me.. along with the 21 years with him….it still took a couple of hours to realize that it was just time for it to go, and for me to let go of the idea that I had made it better, built it back better, and to let go of the idea that I could ever sit on it in comfort again.
It was grief.
Then, today someone mentioned to me that I had burnt a couch on the evening of the Super Moon. So there’s that.
-
Marina, I am glad that you found the strength to remove the couch yourself. It is easy for us to wait for someone else to help us work through difficult tasks, but we are better off completing them ourselves. By waiting until you had what you needed to burn the couch yourself, your growth was all your own. You took control of your own grief,…read more
-
-
marinaskye responded to a letter in topic Write a poem (or letter) about a turning point in your life 6 months ago
It was amazing overall!. The direction and support they gave me without even knowing it..just by being them, an example of lives well lived. I had been on such a dark road before, and they showed me the way without trying.
-
marinaskye shared a letter in the
Poetry group 8 months agoFor Mom
Marina S DaviesFrom my head on your shoulder
To your head on mine
It happened so slowly
With the passage of timeYou held my hand
And wiped my tears
Who knew I’d dab yours
In the oncoming yearsYou were bigger than life
So steady and strong
Always stood tall and right
While singing your songsFrom holding me up
With love and such power
From helping me stand
To helping you showerThe safety I felt
With you by my side
I hope you felt the same from me
At the end of our ride -
marinaskye responded to a letter in topic Write a poem (or letter) about a turning point in your life 8 months ago
You have written beautifully about this lesson/gift.
-
marinaskye submitted a contest entry to
Write a poem (or letter) about a turning point in your life 8 months agoIt was the disaster of 1989
Marina S DaviesThe duffle bag’s packed, am I ready?
Yes, running away, but I feel steadyBecause I know…
I have to leave
I need to grieve
The choices I’ve made
And this life I leadTo find the why…
The why I do what I do
To cause the dark that cuts through
The deep within, don’t judge my sin
I couldn’t withstand the winds that blewSo, I run
To where the sea meets the sun
Worry, wait, anticipate
Will I be a chosen one?Finally, comes the call
Hardhat on, hit that Union Hall
Hear my name, I’ve won this game
Off this mark, I cannot fallSurrounded by the few with birthing hips
The only females on this ship
We come in close, as we all know
This is our chance, this is itFor we must rise to the tasks
That will test our spirits and our backs
We don’t know, how we will grow
As we tuck in to sleep on our racksBut there will be a few
Maybe six or so of this crew
Who will bond in their strong
What strength they had, who knewNow leaving my life I felt the wonder
Meeting a chick roustabout, and a chick plumber
Another who ran a business, a success
And a fisherman chick painter, a world wandererThis little group wearing steel toe boots
Did this disaster choose
To better their lives, with the cause that did rise
And make their money, make their moveFor though it pained the heart
To see shores made so dark
For some this horror, this event
Would provide a new startAs it did me…
Together we’d build
On what that oil had spilled
We’d make our best out of this mess
And their resilience instilledIn me..
Inspiration, determinationWith hammer and nails
We built offices and rails
Some washed boots and decks too
Some washed rocks when not at sailI remember in a note one day
To one of the boss ladies I did say
Get me on the beach, out of ‘his’ reach
I did not come here to ‘play’I was washing rocks the next shift….
Hauling one-hundred-pound pumps
One each end grabbed and humped
On oil slicked rocks, in wet boots and wet socks
Learning to climb and never jump‘Cause that’s how you get hurt…
They looked out for me they did
Threw a birthday party for this kid
They took a chance, hired a guy to dance
On this secret, kept the lidIt was against All the rules….
They showed me women could be strong
While supporting me like my mom
And together we could weather
Any task or storm that came alongAs I looked at all of them
To me, older women back then
I remember thinking, of when I was sinking
‘I want a life like these friends’On the nights with no sleep
Due to all those dark memories
I’d put word to pen, again and again
Slowly healing injuriesThey and the journalling I’d do
Would help me work through
See past me for what I could be
With that, them and work, how time flewBefore I knew it six months had passed…
I signed on for more work when off the water
My parents got to talk to their wayward daughter
Washed boats during the day, at night did play
But never did take it any fartherI had straightened out.. somewhat
The Summer came to an end
I would rarely again see my new friends
But I still hold them close in my heart
For showing me who I wanted to be in the endGoing home after that last hangout
With my artist friend who was all about
Living true to herself, that was her wealth
We planned later to meet but went different routesTo Mexico…
But that’s a story for a later day
For after the Oil Spill I found my way
It still took a minute to be full in it
But I soaked up heat and healing in the coming raysOf sun…
Voting is closed
-
What a cool story! Women are so strong and I am glad you got to experience this. Even though it may have been scary at first to leave your family and take this chance, you did it, and you made such good memories out of it! We have to remember to be willing to take chances, as those chances could be life-changing. ♥
-
It was amazing overall!. The direction and support they gave me without even knowing it..just by being them, an example of lives well lived. I had been on such a dark road before, and they showed me the way without trying.
-
-
