Dear Mairi,

I don’t know where exactly you are in your life – whether you still live with your parents, what school you’re graduating from, or if you’re drifting in an endless sea of uncertainty between jobs. You’ve likely got your sights on building a future for yourself and all that you’re going to fill in on that wide canvas – or maybe you’re curious about the people you’ll meet and the experiences you’ll have, and how they’ll help shape you into who you’re becoming. That said, I want to pass along some things for you to absorb as you step forward into the great unknown.

Don’t hold yourself back in the things that you do, no matter how uncomfortable it seems to step outside the box. Write those poems, however corny they are at first. Try different fighting styles, because that’s how you learn to improve your craft in the ring. I mean, yeah, you’ve got a natural talent for a lot of things, and whatever comes as easy and natural as breathing to you easily baffles dozens of others. But talent is only one part of the process – keep developing your skills further so that you’re not just getting by in what you do.

Let go of any hard set beliefs of the way things should be from your mind and get as comfortable with the ebb and flow of life as you can. Life rarely pans out the way we originally planned. You’ll lose jobs, experiences you thought would turn out one way won’t always manifest said way, and you’ll doubt yourself and your place in the world quite a few times. But, as the saying goes, “When God closes a door, He opens a window.” Sometimes, what may seem like a setback is really directing you to where you need to go, and you just have to be open to receiving it.

Nurture the real relationships you have in your life. People come and go in your life more frequently than you might think, even those you love or think will be with you for a lifetime. You may worry about turning 30, for instance, when some won’t live that long to help you celebrate – a few not making it to 30 themselves. Spend more time with them and learn more about who they are, the world or yourself in the process. If or when they split from your life path, you’ll be able to look back and cherish that time with them.

Love yourself, and be kinder to yourself. For one, it’s absolutely frustrating to see others hit milestones that you thought would be a given for you, no matter how old you are. Additionally, there’s going to be times where you screw up, and sometimes massively. Learn to cope with that unease, take accountability for what you do and learn from that, and remember that you’re only human with your own time frame. Keep telling yourself that ad infinitum if you must.

Nothing in life is permanent. Savor the time that you have and all the people and things that occupy its space. Because, even if they’re still there (they’re and there, God how I love the English language) after some years, they inevitably change, and so do you. Dance life’s messy waltz and make the most out of what’s left, regardless of the next step.

Sincerely,

You in 10-20ish years

P.S.: Use sunscreen, like everyday. Trust me on this.

All the world is scrambling,

Picking up pieces of itself as though

Hit by a freight train.

Empires imploding, nature running a fever,

The love and trust of many

Growing cold.

The panacea of distractions,

If only to turn the mind off briefly,

Only do so much when

Everything else burns to ash.

–

Those not living in fear for being different,

For having the nerve to exist,

Are probably paying in life savings 

For breathing at the wrong moment.

Maybe awaiting a hurricane

Or ghouls with guns

To further erode life’s fragile foundations.

All of this and more

Brought in part by

Conquest, war, pestilence and death.

–

In any case,

Time marches forward.

A smattering of polycrises forcing

One and all

To make difficult decisions for tomorrow.

Knowing not what it brings.

Between heavy sighs and restless nights,

All making a choice, however heavy,

To survive another day.

Even if it means just existing.

–

I sit in the apricity of a winter sun,

My dog carelessly crunching on acorns

While I write my intentions for

The next sun cycle.

The night is relatively quiet,

Lulled by evening hustle bustle.

The threat of the shrouding dark cloud,

Darkness falling,

Juxtaposed by quiet sunlit contentment

And the fervor of daily life.

–

An unspoken understanding

Underlies all

Between the jubilation and the solitude.

Distrust between men,

Panicked fears of revelation,

And desires to live more fully in moments

All tie down to

The resolve to survive.

A primal instinct to weave through the

Trappings of unrest and complacency.

–

That, at least for now, is my resolution,

As this grand ship takes her plunge.