The world might not make much sense to you right now and I know you are just trying your hardest to find a place where you feel seen and heard in the way you see and hear other people. I can’t promise you that people won’t break your heart or mislead you, but I can promise you that every twist and turn you take will be your very own journey into a world that makes sense to you.
You’re going to be known as the helper before you ever truly feel helped. You are going to the big cousin, big sister, best friend, and even the parent sometimes. And you are going to be great at it because you have a natural ability to connect with and care for people. There will be a lot of times where you feel like too much is being expected of you and that you just can’t do it anymore. I want to let you know that for every moment you push through, you grow into a stronger version of yourself and encourage others to do the same.
Little Sunshine, I need you to know that you light up rooms when you walk in. I see the way you bring love and inspiration to people three times your age. I see the way you check in on others to make sure everyone feels included. I see that your mind never stops racing and your body never ceases to move. I see that you are as full of love as you are fearful of it.
I know those around you are impressed by your self-sufficiency because they don’t know it was your only option. I know that you’ve been given too much responsibility at a young age and just want to make mistakes. I know you feel neglected, but still show up for everyone. I know it hurts to think you always have to give more than you can receive, but I want to assure you that your incessant desire for curiosity, connection, and care will motivate you to be a pillar of love and creative expression in the lives of others.
That light you shine because you feel so overlooked, will teach others to unashamedly be themselves. That depth you possess because you’ve seen so much in such a short amount of time, will teach others to take time to learn themselves. That warmth you radiate because the world is just so cold, will teach others to be kinder to themselves.
So, when your heart hurts, don’t turn away from those in your life who never did you wrong, remember to lean into the love that surrounds you and multiply it. All the boys and girls, friends and foes, family members and strangers, who made you question your heart, hold them closely like they couldn’t hold you and I promise you that your life will be so much better because of it. I don’t ask that you stay strong and silent when the world doesn’t give you what you need, I ask that you stay soft and resilient. I ask that you continue to be an example of the shining, permeating, unwavering love you wish to feel. You will change the lives of so many others because of it.
I love you, Little Sunshine and I am so proud of you
Alicia, this piece is very well done. I am sorry you had so much responsibility so young, but the way you’ve handled it speaks to your strength and your heart. I am sure you are light for so many people around you.
I absolutely love this line, “I don’t ask that you stay strong and silent when the world doesn’t give you what you need, I ask tha…read more
Wow, you are so strong, Alicia. You remind me of my older sister because she had to wear the big pants in our family when it came to taking care of us. After all, my mom was a gambling addict and she was never home. It makes me love my sister even more because she could’ve given up and not taken care of us but just like you, you continue to be s…read more
Hi Alicia
Wow what an amazing letter. What an incredible outlook. So incredible that you had so much responsibility at such a young age. Great advice. Not everyone is cut out for that kinda stuff. Clearly you are. Amazing 🙂
Jim
Hi Alicia. Here is the letter I told you about. The one about my dad.just wanted you to see it. Im very proud of it. Have a great day 😊
Perseverance learned from the best
This is my story about perseverance, a perseverance I didn’t know I had in me. But as with many things in life, sometimes you find things out the hard…read more
You used to write letters to your future self every year based off what happened to you in your past. These letters were always centered around the pain that plagued you and the heartbreak that others caused you. They were meant to be warnings for me, a big red sign that read: DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN IT WILL BREAK YOU. But you know what I learned recently? I learned that any advice that strays from the human experience is not based off truth, but rather fear.
We are all little creatures in a beautiful, vast universe – this pain comes with the job title. Living in the future too much caused you an overwhelming amount of anxiety, but living in the past filled you with deep sadness and regret. What you failed to realize back then is that living in the present moment isn’t unproductive – it is peaceful.
I think you missed something very important in all those old letters. You forgot to mention that without sorrow there can not be rapture, without grief there can not be peace, and without heartbreak there can not be love. You were coming from a place of unfathomable hurt. In the end, it was you who needed a letter, not me.
So, this is what I wish I could have told you back then. Never forget you can handle anything life throws your way. It’s okay to feel weak, to break down and cry. It’s okay to have regrets. In fact you should have regrets because if you don’t then that means you’ve never tried anything worth losing yourself in. You are human and your deep capacity to feel is your strength, not your undoing. How lucky are you that you’re able to love the way you do, that you’re able to see the light in the dark, that you’re able to empathize with the sadness of others? How lucky are you that you’re able to laugh wildly, that you’re able to experience unmatched joy, that you’re so grateful sometimes you have to shed your tears in order to express it?
All the heartbreak, all the failures, all the terrible things that happened to you is what’s going to show you which direction to go in. All you have to do is follow the path I carved out for you. And trust me when I say I came out okay on the other side.
I am here today, full of love and hope, because of every good and bad and horrible and amazing thing that has ever happened to you. But I am also here because I refused to give up, because I kept going even when all I could do was crawl, because I envisioned a better future for myself and believed with everything I had in me that it was possible. I will leave you with one final thought: Anything and everything can be a catalyst for change. But it is up to you to take the shattered vase and glue it back together with gold.
Dear Natalya,
Wow what an amazing letter you wrote. There is so much wisdom in your words. It sounds like life has thrown you a few punches but you have always gotten up and fought back. That is extremely impressive and important. You have set the bar very high for yourself and I am sure you will find great success in your life.…read more
Aww Natalya, there is so much wisdom and beauty in this letter. I am glad you have come to appreciate the good in life after experiencing some of the bad. And I am even happier that you never ever give up – no matter how difficult it is to keep going. Now, at a young age, you know that nothing can stop you and anything you want to do in life you c…read more
Natayla, I don’t think the things you went through broke you. By reading your message I feel that they have only made you stronger. When life hits you in the face you get back up and strived sure the fall down may have caused a couple of broken bones but it still didn’t change the fact that you worked on healing that area.
Right now, you’re just getting used to the country world you live in North Carolina. Life seems simple. You listen to your parents. You have your sisters teaching you your ABCs and pretending that you’re in a classroom with toy animals, getting you prepared for kindergarten. As you become a kid. You enjoy the time you spend with your family and other relatives that give you a taste of their world and what it’s like. I wish I could tell you that your journey will be smooth sailing from your youth to your present self, but, I would be doing a big disservice to you by not telling you the truth in a genuine way.
From when you start school (and outside of school) you will endure countless challenges that will test your will and your mental strength. You will have a tough time making friends because you’re just wired differently from other kids. You will start to have doubts about yourself and believe that something is wrong with you.
You’ll ask yourself ”Why can’t I connect with most of my classmates? or ”Why are they so mean to me? I’m just trying to fit in and figure things out.
The world outside of school will slowly become harsher and meaner as you get older. You’ll have experiences like asking an adult if you can use their phone to call your dad after marching with your JROTC group, only for them to give you a nasty look and keep walking away. You’ll even experience harsh lessons with your own family members on how cold the world can be. The more reality tries to get you to accept these truths, the more defiant you become in not accepting these truths. Your optimistic mind refuses to accept that it’ll always be this way. But, the relentless negative experiences will begin to wear you down throughout your middle school, high school & your early 20s. You will start to feel like you’re losing your core self, being around people who don’t have your best interests at heart and who love tearing down others. You’ll have many nights when you just break down and let out your pain, after holding in too much in for so long. But, don’t fret younger self, the story will get better.
Life will start to make sense in your mid-20s. You’ll start to see a way out of the tall forest. You’ll run into people who like you for you and who you can open up with on a deep level. Some people you’ll come across on the internet and others offline. They’ll even help you find out or rediscover who you really are. You’ll begin to blossom and have the courage to love yourself with pride & show it to the world (even if others don’t have that same love for you). You’re going to be battle-tested in ways you won’t believe. But, these battles will show you how strong and tough you really are. You won’t see it while you’re growing up, it’ll take years to see the results of your trials and tribulations. But you will see and be glad about your progress.
You will also learn that guys who looked tough and strong, won’t last long on their journey. Some of them were killed in their early 20s being around an environment that doesn’t allow people to grow in a positive way. But you (and others) got out. You have a long road ahead of you, but the destination will be so sweet when you get to your present self, and the best part is your present self is still growing and evolving. So to my younger bubbly self, I say rejoice and take your battles with glee. I wish I could have don’t that, knowing what I know now.
Hi Gerald,
Your letter is so touching. You have so much to be proud of. You have overcome some obstacles in your life and come out on top. I know you will keep moving forward and be very successful in life. You are smart, brave and so nice. Tune out the negative noise and focus on all that is good in your life. Take care!
Hi Shelley,
Thank you so much. I appreciate your touching words (as always!). Thank you for the advice also. I’ve gotten better at tuning out the negative noise and focusing on the good that I’m blessed to have in my life like The Unsealed and connecting with kind-hearted people like yourself! You take care as well!
Gerald this letter is absolutely powerful. I’m glad you were able to be the true gentlemen you came out to be and such a great writer at that. going through school is hard sometimes because you are always labeled as something and none truly appreciates such kind-hearted and gentle people like you. I’m so happy that you learned to love yourself and…read more
Thanks, Kayjah. I appreciate your touching response. It’s tough to love yourself at a time when you’re figuring things out. To love yourself even when others don’t want you to love yourself is powerful to do. It’s great to come across people like yourself who had obstacles they had to fight to get to where you are today. People like you, Lauren &…read more
Gerald!!! I hope you know how much we all love you and how sweet and kind you are and how much we appreciate you. I am so sorry kids were so mean when you were younger. They missed out on having a genuine and kind friend. I am so happy you found your circle and your peace, and I am so honored to be a part of your circle.
Thank you, Lauen!! I can feel y’all love every time we have a Zoom conversation. You’re right. They missed out a geninue friend. I’m honored to have you a part of my circle as well. I’m beyond honored to be a part of your circle also. I still can’t believe I crossed paths with you! Appreciate y’all having my back and I have y’all back too! I love…read more
“To Time
Hello time,
Haven’t heard from you for a long time.
How are you spending your time,
Without me coming along for a run of time?
I miss your light, bright laugh as you fly by
Your transience makes you all the more precious.
Don’t abandon my side and leave me lonely.
Alone to face your swiftly moving wondrous
Glory that eases with your passing.”
(Chehab, M. K., PerfectlyFlawed, 2021)
I wished to thank you for your time, the one that helped me overcome pain and disillusionment, that almost brought me down, at one time or another. Yes time, your earthly flow is a balm on my soul, which you soothed with your constant presence and support. Your availability at all hours of the day brought me comfort, when I was confused and drawn. Your help in marking time with me, gave me permission to speak my mind and get all the hurt off my chest. ‘A clean slate’ for a time, is a wondrous gift of rejuvenation imbued in optimism.
Whenever I think of you, time, I know that each of your hands is holding me up to the tests of time. In my five decades, I have emigrated four times to three Continents, experienced loss, betrayal, disillusionment, fear, horror, injustice, motherhood, ‘wifehood’, childhood upheaval, travel, adventure, laughter, faith, optimism, and love. With your help, time, I have had many ups and downs, but what leaves the greatest impression is laughter. To laugh is to live, and, to live is to savor life. With laughter comes the humor of a situation that you can only perceive when thinking positively. They’ve even come up with laughing yoga, laughter university (California- of course, where else?!!), and laughing Kung Fu. If that doesn’t prove my point, I don’t know what will! So, laughter is uplifting, optimistic, and tickles your funny bone in order to redirect your frown to a smile! It’s also important to note that, life’s constant changes and your ability to adapt to new realities is but a drop in the well of your knowledge and patience, especially when you have a sense of humor that helps alleviate the stress, anxiety of any major changes.
Relish each stage in your life as each is as transient as time itself, one moment it’s there, another gone into the caverns of memories so deep you need to excavate them in order to remember a specific moment in time. I’ve learned that time is precious, and that you need to make the most of this treasure you’ve been given. As time flows into an ocean of evocation: a smell, a ray of light, a flower, a cry, a laugh, a touch, a kiss, or all together, will invoke a feeling of well-being that’s unparalleled in your heart. Savor it, and don’t dwell on the negativity that time, and time again, may erode facts turning them into feelings and interpretations that become dubious in their veracity.
I hope we meet more often time, as I enjoy unburdening my lot to your compassionate ear.
Yours truly,
I love how you spoke of time as if you had a relationship with it. I believe we all had a relationship with time because time is basically recorded as every second, minute, hour, day, and weeks. You have shown true meaning to what time is all about. It’s the relationship we have with it time can bring up sadness, and happiness but without time how…read more
I work at a “little old lady” hair salon. My clients, who I lovingly call my “gals,” arrive week after week, hobbling with walkers and canes, for their appointments of washing, blow drying, or setting their hair in rollers. The more I listen to my gals, their stories, their troubles, their favorite memories, I realized one detail: They were not always little old ladies. They were young, vivacious, fascinating individuals with so much to offer the world. They have stories of traveling, or living in other countries. Some had high paying jobs and drove expensive sports cars. Some used to be so fashionable that it pains us to see them in mismatched attire because they don’t have the ability to match their clothes anymore. Many of them can no longer drive, and depend on family for rides. Lots of them have debilitating ailments making their daily tasks challenging and painful. Many have lost their independence, their confidence, and their loved ones. So many of them have lost children, yet continue to carry on. Many more have lost husbands, and have been left to face the world without the love of their lives.
These women truly amaze me.In many ways, these ladies are the lucky ones. They’ve gotten to live into their 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s. I had one gal pass away just shy of her 100th birthday. As I sit here typing this, I have so much life ahead of me to look forward to, and one day I realized a very sobering fact: I am going to be little old lady one day. That is, if I am lucky enough to become elderly. Some of us aren’t that lucky.
I have been out of high school for only 14 years, and I need two hands to count how many of my former classmates have passed away. I’m sure these people had plans. I’m sure there were vacations they were dreaming of taking, jobs they were considering applying for, conversations they wanted to have with loved ones. I think of them as I write this, and I can’t believe these people never got the chance to live a full life.
But if you’re reading this: You’re alive. So go live.
Whether it’s because we could die tomorrow, or we could live to be 100 and push off our plans because we think we have all the time in the world, we all need to do a little more living. Don’t waste your life being with someone who doesn’t make you feel important, appreciated, and loved from your head to your toes. Don’t go along with plans that don’t excite you just to make others happy. Don’t stay at a job that you tolerate because you’re afraid to go for that new position. Don’t squirrel away all your money and never spend a dime on your own enjoyment. Go on vacation. Try a new restaurant. Go biking if that’s your passion. Do whatever brings you joy, especially the physical activities. I don’t see any of my 90-year-old gals riding horses or racing dirt bikes. So do it now while you can.
Planning for your future is important. For many of us, it’s a big part of our financial plans. Living only for today, and short-changing yourself in the long run is about as wise as playing in on-coming traffic while wearing a blindfold. But we can’t plan so much for the future that we completely forget about ourselves right now either. Don’t focus so much on today that you can’t enjoy tomorrow, but don’t focus so much on tomorrow that you can’t enjoy today. My gals at the salon always remind me how lucky I am that can I race to grab the phone, lift heavy boxes delivered with hair products, or even walk down the stairs without holding the railing. They remind me how great my life is right now. My career has given me a unique and fantastically real view of what is to come for many of us, and I do not intend to waste it.
Our lives aren’t going to be like this forever. So why wait? We may push things off so much that the opportunities we thought we had, have all but come and gone. Look at your Bucket List. What’s on it? Is it traveling places? Climbing a volcano in Hawaii, visiting the Coliseum, or driving cross-country in an RV? Is it doing activities you rarely get the chance to do? Riding horses on the beach, swimming with dolphins, or even dying your hair purple? Is it spending more time with loved ones? Helping coach your kids’ soccer team, spending a weekend skiing with your spouse, or going on girls’ trip with your mom?
We only have a certain amount of time in our lives to do these, and none of us know exactly how much time that is. So do it. Stop wasting time. Stop pushing it off. If you can’t afford if right now, save for it. Plan for it in 5 years, not 25 years. Don’t assume life is going to go as planned and you have “plenty of time” to achieve these, because what if you don’t? Are you going to be laying on your death bed wishing you had spent more time at the office or mopped your floors more often? We can always come up with excuses for why we need to work all weekend, why we should put off that dream vacation for another few years, and why we’ll just plain “do it tomorrow.” But tomorrow isn’t promised. We can’t keep pushing everything off. If you’re lucky enough to live into your 90’s, are you going to look back on your life filled with amazing memories and experiences? Or are you going to look back and wish you had spent your life actually living?
With time it’s hard to tell what our purpose on the earth is and sometimes if you are too focused on the reason of why we were put on the earth time can pass you in a blink of an eye. What we need to really focus on as you said is living our life to the fullest and fulfilling our dreams.
Alicia, this piece is very well done. I am sorry you had so much responsibility so young, but the way you’ve handled it speaks to your strength and your heart. I am sure you are light for so many people around you.
I absolutely love this line, “I don’t ask that you stay strong and silent when the world doesn’t give you what you need, I ask tha…read more
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Wow, you are so strong, Alicia. You remind me of my older sister because she had to wear the big pants in our family when it came to taking care of us. After all, my mom was a gambling addict and she was never home. It makes me love my sister even more because she could’ve given up and not taken care of us but just like you, you continue to be s…read more
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Hi Alicia
Wow what an amazing letter. What an incredible outlook. So incredible that you had so much responsibility at such a young age. Great advice. Not everyone is cut out for that kinda stuff. Clearly you are. Amazing 🙂
Jim
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Hi Alicia. Here is the letter I told you about. The one about my dad.just wanted you to see it. Im very proud of it. Have a great day 😊
Perseverance learned from the best
This is my story about perseverance, a perseverance I didn’t know I had in me. But as with many things in life, sometimes you find things out the hard…read more
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