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  • Courtney Fry shared a letter in the Group logo of Remembering those we lost/GriefRemembering those we lost/Grief group 1 month ago

    Dear Grandpa

    Dear Grandpa,
    It’s been 11 years snice you’ve gone. I can still remember the night being so peaceful, so still, and so cold. I remember the day we laid you to rest. The snowflakes that fell that day were the biggest ones I’ve ever seen. I wanted to be one of the few who go to carry you to your final resting place, but I watched instead as my brother, cousin, brother in law, and a few others carried you instead.

    I’ll never forget when my 18th birthday rolled around and I eagerly went to the gas station and bought a can of your grizzly wintergreen chewing tobacco. I took it to you grave and had lunch with you. The sun was shining and I was happy enough even though you weren’t with me anymore.

    You were my best friend. The amount of days I skipped school just to hang out with you nearly cost me my graduation. The people at school frowned upon the week I missed when you passed. Said I shouldn’t have been gone that long and that I needed to be there from then on. What was I supposed to say? Grief has no time limit and I wasn’t capable of dragging myself out of bed to go be around people who never understood me. You always did though.

    I wonder what you would think of me now. Would you still be proud of me? Would you still be able to sit in silence with me and just watch the tv? Would you still be able to look me in the eyes and tell me everything was going to be ok? You were my safe place in this world and even though it has been 11 years my heart still hurts. I yearn to hear your laugh, see your smile, and feel the warmth of your hugs.

    I love and miss you so much, Grandpa.

    Courtney

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    • Awww Courtney! This is so sweet. Your grandpa is definitely proud of you and definitely still watching over you.

      My grandpa died when I was 13. We have the same personality and we are the only two people in our family that are very athletic – so I know I got it from him. When I was younger he would tell me rain was good luck. So after he died, I would always look for rain as a sign my grandfather was with me. It rained on graduations, and on days I scored big goals. Then I was offered my dream job as a TV sportscaster on his birthday in the pouring rain (it also rained the day I interviewed for the job). Then, if that wasn’t enough proof, when I was 36 I was beyond frustrated with dating. I thought I’d never meet someone. Then this sweet guy comes into my life, and we start hanging out a lot. At this point, I was used to being disappointed so my guard was up. But he has a unique name cause he is from a different culture, so I asked him what his name meant in his culture. He didn’t know. So, I googled it. His name means, “God of Rain.” Fast forward a year, we live together now and are planning a future together. I am sure my grandfather is with me and watching over me, and has my back. And that’s how I know the same is true with your grandfather. And it sounds like just as you were lucky to have him, he was lucky to have you. Thank you for sharing. <3 Lauren

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