Trying something new is always scary; fears held me back for many years. The what-ifs dominated my mindset: What if I was not liked, or, worst of all, what if I failed? I was not the typical person you would expect to start a business.

Researching starting a business is the easy part. I took classes, developed spreadsheets, and made plans; organization is one of my strengths. But the next step, actually creating the business and working with clients, was terrifying. I constantly asked myself if I could be a wedding planner and run my own company.

Initially, I kept my full-time job. I was full of doubt about my ability to make any money in this new venture. Quietly, I took clients and worked after hours and on the weekends. This lack of confidence meant I charged too little, and I did not have confidence in my abilities. That first two years before every wedding, I would throw up and be unable to eat anything. I began to dread the panic that I knew would rise as the clock got closer to the ceremony and reception time.

Then I had my first successful wedding, another, and yet another. I received handwritten notes saying how happy the couples were and that they couldn’t imagine their wedding without me. I started getting less anxious on wedding weekends.

My day job became tedious, and I felt disconnected and bored. However, I came alive after work. I scheduled client meetings, catering tastings, and networking events, and soon, I began to refer to my profession as a wedding planner and business owner.

My annual review is where I told my boss I was leaving. I always worked well with him and told the truth. My calling was no longer in a cubicle in a corporate job. It was being independent, running my own business, and planning weddings. He looked at me and said, “I cannot even counter with a better salary or promotion, as you will have neither. But I am happy for you, sad for us.” With that, I left the comfort zone of an air-conditioned office, 401K matches, and a guaranteed paycheck every two weeks.

Had I not taken that leap of faith right then and there, I may not have ever taken it. The atmosphere was right for the risk; I was young, the economy was booming, and I had a supportive partner. It was as if the universe conspired to provide the right time and place for this new venture.

You always hear about the financial investment in entrepreneurship. What needs to be talked about more is the emotional investment. You get attached to logos, taglines, mission statements, and website copy. Couples that entrust you on one of their most important days become friends. Fellow industry professionals become confidants, casual Instagram followers, or arch-nemesis. You find yourself advising newer planners, telling them what you would have done differently, and teaching them how to be successful. You realize they look up to you, you of all people, the person you thought would fail.

I began this journey 18 years ago. Two years ago, I sold my business to one of my employees. It was hard letting go, but I knew it was time.

When an international pandemic occurred, many canceled or postponed weddings. Deftly negotiating this financial and emotional minefield for clients was one of my most significant accomplishments. There wasn’t a playbook for making this work. I didn’t have the luxury of perfectionism, but I had the confidence I sought once I let go of expectations. I could say I was a damn good wedding planner.

This pandemic earthquake fundamentally changed the industry, but more importantly, myself.

I began to reevaluate my priorities and my feelings about the business. I realized that, much like when I quit my corporate job, I was ready for something new. I didn’t dislike wedding planning worse; I didn’t have any feelings about it either way. That was my cue to leave.

I left with the professional designation of Master Wedding Planner. My company, Red Letter Event Planning, was listed as a preferred vendor at most of the area’s venues and had hundreds of five-star reviews and referrals from past clients. More importantly, though, I left satisfied that I had built something successful and resilient. I no longer was the anxious perfectionist who wondered if I was good enough.

Taking the risk of starting and building was nerve-wracking, but it was one of the best things I have ever done.

*I often look back at my younger self and think, oh, if she could see me today!

If I had the chance to tell her what I know now, what would I say?

Things are much different now than they were back in the day.

*You see when I was young I didn’t have your typical dream

My life wasn’t always what it seemed

Some days all I wanted to do was scream.

*There were times in my life I didn’t think I was going to make it.

There were days where all I wanted to do was quit.

You see I had trauma that needed healing, but I never wanted to admit.

*I thought that I could do it all on my own.

I never wanted any of my pain to be shown.

So I thought, I had to go through it all alone.

*Truth was there was always someone by my side.

He stood there with his arms open wide.

All I had to do was lay down my pride.

*You see pride is a deceiver, it makes you think you can do it all.

Truth is it just puts up a wall.

Eventually you learn, that the burden is too much to carry, and you fall.

*That’s what happened to me.

I fell down right on my knees.

Praying to God to forgive me, please!

*I had felt so worthless that I never thought I could be loved.

God said to me, my daughter you are beloved.

Your sins are forgiven because of his blood.

*Jesus gave his life so that I could be saved.

So that I no longer had to live a life of being enslaved.

His sacrifice and forgiveness makes me feel amazed.

*So here I am today.

I stand here to say, all will be okay!

With Jesus, you will find your way!

*Your dream to be loved and to be free is available for you.

I’m here to tell you that you will make it through.

With God he makes all things new.

*Dreams really can come true!

It can happen for you too!

So never give up on your pursuit!

In isolation’s deep and shadowed fold,
Where silence reigned and stories went untold,
A broken spirit found its healing grace,
In faith’s soft whisper, in the sacred space.

The world was still, the pandemic’s grasp so tight,
Yet in the stillness shone a guiding light.
Through walls of worry, faith began to blaze,
And from the ashes rose a hopeful gaze.

Caring hands with love’s unyielding strength,
Brought solace in the darkened length.
An elder’s plight, a storm’s fierce roar,
Tests of faith that opened new doors.

A mother’s pain, a locked-down world,
Where hope and hardship seamlessly swirled.
In those quiet, strained, and fragile days,
A divine vision lit my weary ways.

From every tear and every trial faced,
An inspiration gently graced.
A vision of care, a balm so pure,
To soothe the skin, to heal and to endure.

Through Urban Meditation’s open door,
On 5th Ave in Naples, my hopes would soar.
Or online, where dreams and faith align,
Essential Art Skin Care finds its shine.

Crafted with a spirit strong and true,
Each product born from trials and through.
A testament to faith’s enduring might,
That turned dark days into hopeful light.

In faith, I found my strength renewed,
In every challenge, purpose accrued.
Resilience built on trust divine,
Guided my hands, and made them shine.

So now these products tell a tale,
Of faith that prevails when all seems frail.
A journey of the soul, of skin and heart,
Where divine strength and hope impart.

For in adversity’s harsh and testing storm,
A life of faith and care takes form.
And through each struggle, doubt, and tear,
Faith’s ultimate power draws ever near

Dear Unsealers,

A few words about the beauty of goals.

Pinnacle?

Bright lights shine
Impossible
Eyes open wide
Remarkable
The moment, it rings
Forevermore
Here you stand
Commendable

You worked so hard
Your dreams, they grew
You cried so much
You thought you knew
The struggle, is real
Here we go
There you rise
Unstoppable

Success, it beats
Like a drum
The scared young girl
That was
Stands here now
A Queen
I’ve reached my goal
This diploma means

Joy consumes
Me to my core
A great delight
Worth waiting for
The surprise one finds
In reaching goals
Is the gift that
There is still much more

Dessmer A. Mims

“Climb mountains not so the world can see you, but so you can see the world.”
-David McCullough Jr.

Dear Sophie,

Remember when you sat on the stairs of the two-story farmhouse, head in your hands, overwhelmed with the self-imposed task of saving the world?

Guess what?

We are now 24 and the world is far from being saved. But let me tell you a story about how you got everything you thought you wanted only to find out it wasn’t what you wanted at all.

At the ripe age of 12, you decide you want to be a war correspondent journalist. You identified the gaps in the mainstream media storytelling and your compassion drove you to want to be a voice for the voiceless.

Over the years adults told you no. This is a dangerous dream and you are too pretty and dainty to go to waste in a war zone. Why would you want to endanger your life?

You ignored them.

Your dream drove you through the grueling years of high school. Like a horse drawing a carriage, you put on your blinders and kept your ears forward, focused on your long-term goal.

Flash forward to your senior year of high school. You get accepted to a myriad of journalism schools and decide on Seattle.

You walk into your first college journalism class and the professor deadpans; “So we are all here for passion and not a paycheck, right?” You smile and laugh with the rest of the class.

You learn about media systems around the world. You learn your chosen profession has a body count. Your questions are a corrupt world’s worst nightmare. You bring light to the darkness.

Arming yourself with questions, you find yourself published by 20, pulled into the harrowing world of investigative journalism.

Safe from behind your laptop, you interview and research and listen intently to your mentor as he tells you of Russian Oligarchs and Israeli Spies, lawsuits, and retaliation. You adopt a mindset that you are a justice warrior, too young to understand the consequences of leading with an ego.

You begin to understand the role of the journalist. Your job is to uncover bad news and move on to the next bad thing. You chase the darkness of the world and to your naive surprise, the world is a dark, dark place.

You cry.

You switch to cyber security and learn from professionals in the field.

You talk to them about your dreams and they remind you that at the end of the day, how are you preparing for retirement? They explain changing priorities to provide for their families.

You realize lawyers have the power to investigate and have more agency for advocacy. You tour law schools and pick up books for the LSAT.

One lawyer says; “I wish people would tell me they are in for money and not justice because justice doesn’t exist.”

You ponder if this is true. What are the risks of adopting this mindset? Is this the reality of the world?

You cry.

All this to say, Sophie, while your career will continue to change, your dream remains the same — to be a voice for the voiceless.

Hold onto the dream, but don’t be disillusioned; you are learning the resiliency it takes to be a truth seeker. The harsh reality is that if this is your calling you better toughen up.

Listen only to those who are living the life you want. Block out the rest. The world is bad but it is also good. There is nothing in absolutes. If there is injustice, there must be justice. Refuse the crab bucket mentality. Remain flexible and open. Remain an individual. Do not give up hope.

Remember; you don’t have to go global to make a difference. It starts small.
In the wise words of Gandhi — be the change you wish to see in this world.

With love,

A Dream of Magic
By Emily Thornton

As the youngest
I was given chances to test
Different sports, jobs, hobbies
My parents didn’t jest

Reading was my bread
And imagination, my peanut butter.
One thing brought it to life
The world of magic.

I am not talking little childish tokens
But large elaborate illusions.
The first rule of learning magic
Never tell how the trick was done.

My mother gave me the chance
To perform tricks at her office.
By chance a news anchor
Had come to cover the event.

A burst of courage,
A twist of fate
She invited me to perform
On the morning news!

I was elated, a youth
Such as myself
I had to create
A whole routine.

Perhaps fate decided
The best date
Fell on the morning
Of All Hallows Eve.

The crack of dawn
Where light only makes a hint
Packed up my tricks, In my too big coat
I was off to the stage.

I remember the stage
So small, but gargantuan on tv.
I shared space with the Chef
Who taught how to make tacos.

Then it was my turn,
Miked up and read to go
The camera turned on me
Colors and streamers abound.

What a fun day was had,
The anchors made me laugh
Kids at school saw me
While eating their breakfast.

Honestly, these tricks and magic
Helped keep me grounded
When my world tended to collapse
With reality and hardship.

Today when I show my sons
That magic is real
And enhance my magical life
Into a side business of tarot.
I think back on that day
And twist of fate
That made my life truly magical,
A dream made real.

Dear Unsealed,
WHEN DREAMS COME TRUE
DARE TO DREAM
Since I am almost seventy-five
I will tell you a story of my life behind my eyes.
I was one to read music magazines,
All the boy bands and whims
Of rock and roll
Blues and soul
At the incredibly youthful age of ten.
Yes, I did begin to dream to win.
I worked hard.
Played hard.
I studied hard.
It was the seventies,
Then the eighties,
Then the nineties,
I worked at the LA Times in the eighties.
End of the eighties
I was working as a makeup artist.
And let us wind down there.
You might not have time to spare,
As I have thousands of stories to tell
As deep as a wishing well.
The nineties were good,
As I was forty going on twenty-five
As it seemed to a few bees in a hive.
My first dream job was The LA Times,
But I met a man and forgot to be sublime.
My second job per say
Happened in freelance journalism and film
With my new guy
And no rhyme at that time
I worked with The American Indian Movement in the nineties.
I met john Trudell,
And that went well.
We were there to interview
For a documentary film
The Palomino Club of North Hollywood
So, I have stood
In so many good places and even on a whim.
I met Sonny Bono, the Mayor of Palm Springs at a POW WOW
So how
Did I do that you say?
That is for another day.
I joined up with Women in Film
On a whim.
The nineties came along
To sing another song
I met another guy,
A music writer by trade.
My new guy took me to a special party
In Burbank,
To a Christmas party
Really swank.
I dressed up in fancy high heel boots
To walk by my guy in his suit
My dress was a tight mini skirt and top,
And all were cream of crop.
We drove there to the valet,
Then I walked into the door with my guy
Waving at friends in high places
We were sitting at our reserved table
To wine and dine at the insatiable
CMA
Country Music Association Christmas Party
Music, dancing, food, and ‘party hardy’.
I could go on to tell you more,
But I will say later my friend
Before you get bored.
MUSIC TURNS MY WORLD!
This is a tiny burst
Of my adventures of blurs
And good times
Of rhyme
Or reason
For the season!
Love is real
It’s a deal
Of the good, the bad, the ugly
Of time spans of decades
Of love, heartache, laughter, blues
Facades
Of time
To smile at my life
The strife
At almost 75
I have written a song
From my back pages of strife of life.
My song, “I Woke up Alone”
The song
Was published on Apple
A full song on Spotify
Of life, love from above
To be a woman at 75
Alive
Still rocking & rolling
To the beat.
The publication of my song
Was to say the least
My newest job of sweet sighs
Of “I did it.”

Hi Joanne this message is or you
I’m writing this down because some things have come true
I found a love in someone who treats you as a Queen
I also know people who appreciate your dream
Your poetry has touched so many lives, many are out of sight
You are no longer being teased for being too skinny or your height
You bring joy to those around you
No more feeling isolated in a corner, and believe me it’s true
Your words fill lives and so many different pages
It’s touching everyone, in all ages
No more having people steal from you for their own personal gain
You turned into a beautiful woman and have your own personal fame
You’ve overcome so many obstacles, your blessings are pouring in
Not only do you see it in the physical sense but also from within
Your story is not over there is so much more to be said
But I had to write this quickly before I got out of my bed
Your future is very bright so don’t you dare to worry
Take your time growing up there is no need to be in a hurry

It had been months . Sometimes preplanned but mostly self invited, her visits were routine. She consistently crept into my head night after night to be my recurring dream.

But who was she?

She was openly Prolife! That’s the way she had always felt…in an apolitical kinda way. Always wearing her heart on her sleeve ,her calm,self assured,mature demeanor was intriguing to some and threatening to many.
Who does’t struggle with that pesky wont go away water weight, right??
So did she. But she owned it.
Her blemishes, her assessts, her faults, her perfections, her idiosyncrasies- they were all her’s. She took pride, protected and flaunted every inch of her being.
What surpassed her outer charm was only her inner beauty.
She was a natural nurturer and a compulsive giver. Her warmth and kindness was magnetic. Everyone wanted to spend time with her, some lusted her and many craved for a piece of her.
But where there is beauty there is also the unsuspecting beast lurking close by.

Her naivety led her to those who knew no better.
Repeatedly tortured, abused,
stripped of dignity, she was abandoned and left to perish.
Her frantic pleas for help fell on tone deaf ears.
She felt violated. Her spirit molested, her body brutalized and her core being shattered.
She had lost the will to exist.
Plunging herself into flames one day, she let the heat engulf her entire being.
Taking with her, her progeny that was impregnated in her belly.
And just like that one night she vanished.
I rubbed my eyes, and came out of my slumber. And it all made sense.
Awakened by a rude reality, finally I could see.
She was mother earth and watching her silently go each night was me , you and everybody.