Passionate or Toxic Relationship?
You said things would be different this time. I had faith in you and I really believed it this time. I guess sometimes it’s easy to fool yourself. You feel like you’ve put so much time into a relationship so you don’t want to feel like it’s all been wasted and so you stay even though you think it might be better to walk away. Some people say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Yet here we are, and I feel like a fool.
I guess it’s partly my own fault for getting my hopes up. We did have some great times together I especially enjoyed the trips we took together. I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t see the problems as early as our first trip we took this year to Miami. Instead of taking accountability for you we blamed things on your injuries and the weather. Though Kansas City was an amazing time by the time we got to Boston I had some doubts. The old signs were there. It often feels like I am banging my head against the wall. I am sure it would be better for my health if we just parted ways.
So here we are again. You’re saying and doing all the same things you do every time this happens. Neither of us like how things ended up. It hurts. You’re already promising you’ll put in the work and make the right decisions. I know some of those decisions are going to be ones that I don’t like and maybe some that you won’t even like but still must be made. Just thinking about it maybe its best that we take a break for a bit and reassess things for a month or two. Yet here I am already lying to myself again. As soon as the draft takes place in April, I’ll be counting the days until training camp begins. As soon as the schedule drops, I’ll be making travel plans for fall. London will be great. Why not L.A. too. It’s the life of a Bills fan. I hope next year is finally going to be our year. If we do actually win that Super Bowl, it will be the biggest celebration imaginable. Go Bills!