Once there was a girl named Rose.

She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a young daughter.

Because of her condition, she would often miss her classes and stray off to meet her friends and hang out.

She often bought many materialistic things and liked to shop till she dropped.

She pushed away her parents and skipped family gatherings and travel plans.

She wanted to become a pharmacist but later fell in love with writing after her grandmother passed away due to pancreatic cancer.

She then decided to turn her life around, and found the film world in college, watched stills created by Lumiere’s intricate moving photos.

Film was not what she thought though, ranging from how film was born to how films were 4 hours long and made people scream and run away in fear from moving trains on the screen.

Regardless, throughout her college career, the one person who helped her succeed was the guy who she loved at the time.

He was by her side all the time, and helped her through the past trauma and hurt she felt.

He was kind of like your best friend, who helped you when you needed to move, bought you food when you were hangry, picked you up when you needed a ride to school.

He was endearing and made you happy. He understood you liked pretty things and liked to walk your dogs with you because he cared about you. He was your travel buddy, he slept a lot and snored like a gremlin.

When you had trouble with your mom over this guy, I often had to explain and convince her to like him.

Life is like a rose she thought, often beautiful and fragrant on the outside, but full of painful thorns and struggles when closely approaching them from different angles.

She took 10 years to graduate because of the health problems mixed with endless nights of adolescent intoxication.

Even though she wanted a film degree and wanted to write and make films, she did not get an MFA because life got in the way.

After he proposed to her on the trip they took, she was happy but a part of her felt off. Like it was not meant to be.

The man she trusted then ended up being a pathological liar, saying he went to a college when he did not. He showed her his diploma with his name on it when they first met 10 years ago, said he was taking the metro there when they called each other in the mornings. Showed her his dorm room he used to live in. Said the neighborhood was really scary and said his music friends were always writing lyrics when eating lunch.

After he did not introduce her to his parents for a decade, she finally met his mom after he finally revealed the truth.

She mentioned he had to go to college and to call her a lady instead of a mother in law over an escargot dinner.

Rose already had an engagement ring when he proposed to her, shiny but shaped like a heart with a glimmer of an imperfect crack deep inside.

“Should I stay or should I go?” She thought.

10 years wasted with this boy. The piles of lies started hitting her. The flashbacks started piercing her heart like an arrow through an apple you rarely see on TV.

Some said to leave and never turn back. Some said to meet someone else and come back when there’s no one better. Some said it was because he was insecure. But when I turned to God I thought of Lot’s wife, who Lot left behind and could not bear to lose her. When he turned around she and his family eroded into salt and disappeared like a vampire into the earth.

I finally decided to leave him forever, albeit the many years of struggles and positive things he said to her. The caring words and understanding through her crazies and drunken nights.

I even labeled him Lot’s Wife on my phone, and never called him again.

I now have been dating, but after focusing on myself and my own happiness, I found out that I wanted to feel love from the inside out. Not outside in. I often was nicer to my friends and outsiders I have never met before throughout my life.

I often yelled at my mother for leaving me when she had to focus on her own passion. It was nobody’s fault.

It was just me. I was not happy with myself.

Now I don’t need anyone with me as I walk down this clear path i have set for myself.

Similar to LA LA Land, I want to focus on my film and writing career, because I don’t need a man to make me happy. All I need is God by my side, because he is my friend.

I do go on dates, but I like having genuine friends now instead.

One day I might have a boyfriend, a husband, or a beautiful home to live in. But now I am just focusing on my future, my family members who are always there for me when I cry, real friends, and thats perfect enough for me.

Your happiness comes from within, and I hope that I can touch others with my story and teach girls and guys to live your own life.

To run away when you’re uncomfortable, to struggle when you take necessary risks, to yell if you’re mad, to cry when you’re sad, and express to your loved ones how you truly feel. You do you, boo.

Because life is so short and full of thorns, but thats the beauty of it. Life has its twists and turns, life has its shapes and sizes that are dynamic, random sprouts of joy and sadness. Roses are red but sometimes pink and green. You never know what to expect, and thats amazing. You are you. Your life is within you. Life is like a rose. 🌹