The current weight of the state, that I left me in; almost done me in.. How did I get here, AGAIN?! Ah, I see.. I lost the traction to believe – in ME; Not the ‘me’ imprisoned by fear, failure and lack; but the young one, tucked way deep down in the back.. The back of mind, heart and core; laced up with ribbons of dysfunction, pain and trauma from all the years before; Her voice ever softened crying out for solace- HELP ME! I plead.. save me from this space – place seeded in me – help me escape this world- this construct; empty and fake. I can feel the echoes of her small trembling voice reverberating in my ears; “Why can’t I be like my peers?” Heart and eyes swelling with tears.. arms outstretched longing for someone to hold me, console me; not scold the the unsalved bits of my soul.. It’s deafening and it’s taking it toll; pushing with a force, a steady strength and pace.. ever inching to the ledge; the edge of my escape or fate? Then I hear it, my voice of most high ”Remember who you are! You will not roll over, give up, throw in the towel or say goodbye! For salvation, peace and true freedom is nigh.. Your work here isn’t finished, there’s still so much left for you to do; You my sweet child have NOTHING TO PROVE! Just share your truth.” Here is the secret to dismantle the chaos: When you’re standing with your back against the wall; looking into the eyes of those awaiting your fall – release the breath you’re holding; dreading the notion of having to start again at a crawl.. Let the cards and mask, drop, fall where they must – without a whimper, tear or fuss; for you are not alone: and there ARE ones you can trust. Let them hear you my darling; for this is your calling! Can you hear me, my tribe? NO VOICE is too small; It’s why we have each other in this life; after all.
*With all my unconditional love, Shell*