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  • Denise VV shared a letter in the Group logo of A letter to my younger self contest submissionsA letter to my younger self contest submissions group 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Casually Allure

    Dear little me,

    I wish I could say that life is everything you dreamed it would be. But the truth is neither your parents nor the education system prepared you for a single real life thing. I’ve only just begun to process it all. It seems much heavier now. I have to admit I am very proud of who you are at your core. I don’t know where it came from but our foundation is strong and for this I am thankful. It’s you who got me this far, and you who will continue to touch many lives.I’d also like to say that I’m sorry. You endured so many things, sometimes willingly, because of the way you were conditioned to “be” and you did not deserve it. I will free you of these things one day but I know you would have remained a strong and solid person regardless. This way is healthier and your children won’t repeat the same cycles.

    You know a different kind of love now, being a mother of two. I know you never imagined this but honestly not even your hours spent daydreaming could create something so beautiful. Your first is your best friend, he’s like you in many ways. Wise beyond his years, resilient, and creative. Your second, she’s what you wish you could have been; firm, bubbly and such a diva. Everything you hated about yourself- they also possess. You learned to love yourself and healed yourself through them and that was only the beginning. Your heart and mind have expanded since becoming a mom. You learned many things about your parents and grew to understand them and their flaws, you learned to give them grace and forgive them. All of this was done with no guidance other than your ability to dissect thoughts and emotions, your desire to understand everything and brutal honesty with yourself. And you used to feel like you couldn’t make anyone proud? You’re a work of art, naturally. I would not have come this far if you had been a different person.

    I want you to know that even though life has not been easy, and you spent many nights just wishing you could catch a break or wake up somewhere else- life has been worth it. You leave such an impact on everyone you meet, you light up rooms, you breathe life into others simply by  being you. Your existence is a gift on its own. Your belief in yourself is all you need and I’m sorry that I didn’t realize it sooner. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their corner, and even though there were times you wished you didn’t give so much of yourself- I promise you it was never in vain.

    You’ve been an inspiration to many. Mr. Bean would be proud. He once told you that you were his hero and at the time I didn’t grasp the weight of those words but as I’m writing this for you today I finally understand it. You’re my hero too. Maybe all I needed was to let my brain put together what my heart already knew. Thank you for sticking around long enough for me to figure all of this out. Life is nothing like you thought it would be, the real world is a mess even for those with guidance and planners and strict schedules. But you are everything that I needed to make it this far. I promise to always honor who you are at your core no matter what circumstance life throws at me, and to allow myself some time every now and then to lose myself in the little things that make you happy.

    Denise
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    • Denise, the world and adulthood are full of surprises, but clearly you’ve handled it with so much strength. The love you have for your children is very clear in this piece and they are so lucky to have you. It takes courage to grow, to forgive, to be better than what you know and. you are doing all that and more. Keep shining. I can’t wait to read more of your letters. <3 Lauren

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      • Thank you for this Lauren! What you started with this website is going to reach so many people. I feel like I’m back in school in my favorite class writing & thriving.

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        • Aww that makes me so happy to hear. You have so much light inside of you. And now you are allowing yourself t shine. Thank you for sharing your light, love, wisdom and story with all of us! <3 Lauren

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    • Wow Denise your life was a roller coaster. Even though we have our ups and downs what did us to greatness is that stop where we can get off and if we want we can jump back on again. i’m glad that you signed and you gain strength and love for even your children that you have today. Even without knowing you showed love by sharing your story to someone who may need it.

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      • Thank you, I truly hope to meet more people & share our stories so we learn from each other. I’m so thankful we have this site & social media to use productively. I know I’ve already learned from a few other stories here <3

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    • Denise you better preach! “neither your parents nor the education system prepared you for a single real life thing.” When I entered the real world I was absolutely shocked. Most parents try to give their best, from the knowledge they’ve acquired but the world is constantly changing. The school system….well we get what we pay for right? (If emotional intelligence and financial literacy were classes I’m sure we’d all be better off…) Despite all the things wrong with our system and the things you thought you should know you endured it all and came out stronger and so wise. You were able to become your own hero instead of crippling under the pressure and I’m so proud of you for it!

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      • The system should be more concerned with arming us with knowledge, real life knowledge. The world could evolve a hundred times but if we had the mental capacity to process & heal & accept that we deserve peaceful lives- we would be thriving & actually living. Thank you so much!

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    • Hi Denise. Wow what an amazing letter. Such a strong girl you must be. A great mother for your kids no doubt. It’s been enjoyable listening to you on the Zoom conferences. You do a tremendous job. It’s very nice to meet you 😊
      See you at the next one I hope 😊
      @shedevildee

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