Dear Depths of My Fear,
My heart feels tight as my eyes see what is before me. I touch my chest as though that would help the feeling disappear. I thought a little at first. But as time passed, I noticed it creeping up more and more.
The beauty of the ocean is magnificent. The sounds of the water can be calming. And yet, thoughts of what lies beneath the water make my heart tighten. What seemed like nothing at first had only gotten worse.
How do you tell people that the depth of the ocean brings you this fear? Photos, videos, and even movies bring the smallest of fear into my body.
Fear–that one word that lingers in my mind. Can I overcome this? Is this going to overtake me? Or can I grasp this fear and face it head on?
Like the ocean, this fear was deep within me. I did not know it was there, or maybe I ignored it. Thinking it would go away. However, it was there, finding its way to the surface. I did not want to live in fear. I wanted to enjoy things like others do.
In my mind, I felt like the ocean could swallow me whole: the fear of the unknown.
I want to overcome this fear and not let it run my life. My mind wonders at the idea of overcoming it. Like breaking chains from a prison that only I was in. If I can comfortably watch a movie without the tightness in my chest… if I can tell my sister I feel comfortable swimming in the ocean… if I can just no longer feel it overcoming me. If only.
I stand strong as I prepare to face my fears, starting with where they started. The images that made my body feel haunted. It will be a slow process; this is something I know for sure. But with time, I will chip away at the fear that once controlled me. No longer keeping a hold of my mind…of my body.
Sincerely,
No Longer Afraid

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