I want to tell you a story. A story that shows the voice of someone you might know. Just stay there and don’t move and listen, and you’ll hear what I have to say.

The murder of being different

I know I want to be alive
Alive to see my life continue
I want to continue my life
to see it through
I don’t wanna die
I dont wanna die to the shit that I see in me
I don’t wanna die
I don’t wanna die to any of that
I wanna see this through

(I need to be alive)

…

I need to be alive

…

Those that I see
struggle
In the face of pain
suffering
In the grips of addiction
Homelessness
Stigma
To a life of nothing
nothing

(I need to be alive, for them)

I want to be alive
So they can see
me
Be someone they can believe in
Someone they can say
knows what it’s like to be them
Someone they can trust
Someone they can believe
Someone they can see
that’s just like them

I don’t wanna see them die
I don’t want the murder
of being different
to take place

I’m a young man living a life that can kill. And I don’t wanna die. I realize how important it is to overcome that life.

I heal. And I can see the struggle that others have. I can’t fall back to what I use to do. It’s too important to live. Others need to know they’re not alone. That they don’t have to die. To what almost killed me.

…

Young people in the community of color. They don’t have what they need in life. What they need to know. What they need to survive. What they need to live. And what they need to succeed.

That voice of struggle that you hear. It’s from a young man. A statement of intent. A statement of survival. A statement of hope. A statement that their life matters too. To them.

That voice. Is me. I want them to see me. See my healing. See me in them too. I’m different too. And theres value in that. It’s not fair to be judged. Persecuted. Killed for being different.

The decisions made. By men like him. Different than you. Maybe not different than me…

But were still people too.

I needed help too.

See that I see myself in them too.

It means that these young men and women make different decisons. Not the same as you. Maybe the same as me.

this man. young men and women in struggle.

And sometimes not the best

Men that are different. Men that see lofe different

Not the same as you. Maybe the same as me. Sometimes we make bad decisions.

Being this different causes murder of the soul.

Dear 2025,

Every written moment has been a golden one. One of those moments had me realize I am a person who has a chance at an opportunity for change. To shift in the way I view how I accept the things that I can change. To find the courage to accept that there are things about myself that I cannot change. Do I want to change those things? I think so, I don’t know, maybe. I don’t know what the future holds. I am ready for change though. I’ll need some time to think about what I’ve said, 1/3/2025.

I’ve self-reflected, and I’ve concluded that I know there are things I can change. Things that I want to change about myself. What are those changes? I have to think it over, 1/10/2025.

I slept on it. There’s two things I’d like to change. One. To give my community and the rest of the world an opportunity, through my writing, to see my world in a way that no one else can. To dedicate and commit my hands to the craft of interpreting what my eyes see and feel, so the rest of the world can see it as well. Two. An opportunity to make myself available for those I love. An opportunity to share my life with family and friends. To make memories that will last a lifetime. Gifted by those that enjoy the work I’m now doing with my hands. That’s all I got for now, 1/13/2025.

A third thing I’d like to add that I know I can commit to. To use my hands, those that are dedicated to the craft, to continue writing and change the world one written letter at a time. A written letter that spells out an opportunity for those that don’t see what I see. A written letter that shows the rest of the world the struggle my community faces. A written letter that shows the rest of the world the people that my community builds. Hands that make the world a better place, a place worth living. A place worth exploring. A place worth learning from. A place worth building a family in. A place worth building traditions in. A place, worthy of calling home, 1/15/2025.

From a person who embraces the journey of change, and accepts the unchangeable.