Activity
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Nesrine Ellaz shared a letter in the
Women's Empowerment group 1 years agoTransition from childhood, to maturity.
nesWhen I was younger, I was enthusiastic about becoming an adult. I remember accompanying my mother to the stores and appreciating the attractiveness of women, notably those wearing high heels. I couldn’t wait to wear high heels someday, seeing them as a mark of elegance and maturity. However, as I grew older, being a woman quickly became a maze of anxiety and doubts. High heels went from emblems of grace to traps, rendering me too unstable to flee from danger.
I used to love happy meals with colourful boxes and amusing toys, but now every meal feels like a battlefield, with each mouthful swallowing every single thought in my mind.
I used to refrain from applying makeup because I felt desirable without it, but now I pile it on like a cheesecake, with each layer acting as a mask to conceal my actual nature.
As a child, I used to fall asleep at night fantasising about becoming an adult and falling in love, but I soon realised that love is unexpected and frequently chaotic.
The clothing I’m wearing now seems like chains, and I wish I could burn off my skin to relieve the misery.
My lips never feel full enough, my brows never look right, and the scars on my body convey things I’d rather forget.
My small love handles, once a source of innocence, now seem like anchors dragging me down.Being a woman seems like walking a tightrope, with each step posing the risk of falling.
It’s a dance in a hall of mirrors, and each reflection changes my perception of myself.
I’m always balancing expectations, attempting to come to terms with who I want to be with and who society expects me to be.
My body feels like a battleground, and I’m fatigued from fighting.The transition from childhood to maturity can be compared to traversing a deserted space, where the illusion of who I believed I would become vanishes with each step. My childhood dreams have faded into shadows under the harsh light of reality. I’m just tired of navigating this maze, where every path appears to lead to a dead end.
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This is sadly, a very similar way that many girls think. Growing up in a world where ‘perfect’ skin, bodies, and styles are praised and everyone strives to be just like them causes many to start hating the way they look. Constantly hearing people talking about their own insecurities can make you start to notice some of your own. I want you to kno…read more
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nesellaz submitted a contest entry to
Write a letter or poem to your younger self about why he or she shouldn’t worry about the future 1 years agoChanging the envelopes criteria
nesit happened again, but this time the impact corresponded to a wild kangaroo blindsided by a speeding truck flashing down the freeway at 200 kilometres. In this moment my primal instincts weren’t driven by the need for survival: instead, they were a desperate attempt to escape the person I was becoming. As a child, I had written what some might call selfish letters but amidst the rush of cars racing past at 200 kilometres, who would take notice of the envelope clenched in my pouch? It may sound corrupt but my commitment to writing pledges to never tell a lie.
But now, lying here on a deserted roadside, feeling the aftershocks of the collision, my yearning has shifted. I no longer crave the embrace of such sadness.
Crammed in my pouch, 22 years later, I have decided to recreate that letter, one to the little me who thought the solution was to run away from the world.
Dear Nes,
I understand your fear, which may lead to restless nights and mornings filled with unseen chains.
You wish to grow up, to leave this waking nightmare.
But now, 22 years later, I am writing to you, to the young child from my past.Even if dread still follows you on certain days, you choose not to fasten your tooth of strength to the door handle.
Rather, you let it penetrate your gums, revealing a voice that was long forgotten in the muck of youth.You continue to write and learn,
Three years on the trail, travelling nonstop.
You have worked hard, taken up leadership roles for people, managed a store, and fostered aspiring leaders.I remember the silent beg to God that said,
A want, so unjust, so desperate, to silence your voice.
Now, however, your voice is a salve of serenity for many tired minds, and your words pour from you like a river of wisdom.Maybe when you desired the age of 22 you had imagined a different existence.
Dreams and moonlight weave a tale as old as Cinderella.
Sadly, love wasn’t as romantic as you had imagined it would be when you were younger.
The rugged landscape of love gave you strength and tenacity; reality, in contrast to fairy tales, sculpted you from stone.You will be proud of yourself, my dear, because you will be able to see the warrior you have grown into in the mirror of time.
Voting is closed
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Being a child is about creating fantasies around growing up, but it is what we do in our growing up that either confirms our imaginations or denies them. I like how you mention your travels, because travel can teach so much, and people who have travelled a lot tend to be wise. Thank you for sharing your experience of growing up.
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“You will be proud of yourself, my dear, because you will be able to see the warrior you have grown into in the mirror of time.”
I love that line. I am proud of you, too! <3 Lauren
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