Dear Unsealers,

Whenever I am in the psych hospital, the nurses and psychiatrist want me to find a reason to live so I do not keep ending up there.

For many years, my tortoiseshell cat Hershey’s Kisses was my reason to live.

She adored me and would have been devastated if I had died before she did.

Finally, in October 2024, my reason for living died.

I had to put Hershey to sleep because her health declined exponentially, and living was no longer an option for her.

Now I was the one who was devastated. I had no reason for living. What do I do now?

Then, it came to me. I had spent my entire life living for others, helping others, pleasing others.

I had neglected my own happiness, my own well-being, for my entire life.

Sure, I went to therapy and took medication. Yet I still felt hollow.

I was an empty pot. I needed to fill myself with dirt, water, and a thriving plant.

The dirt would be my foundation for living. I needed plenty of nutrients.

I am learning how to treat my body like a temple, feeding myself nutrient-dense foods, and making intentional movements.

Meditating and self-reflecting.

Rest and relaxation.

The water would be the love I shower myself with. How do I show myself love?

I shall develop hobbies I perform only for myself. Take plenty of time for myself.

I have plenty of activities I plan to occupy myself with.

Making sticker collages.

Coloring in coloring books.

Writing letters and poetry to develop my preferred craft.
Reading enjoyable literature. My plan this year is to read at least one book a month. After all, the best writers also read voraciously.

There are fun activities I plan on learning how to do in 2025.

Writing shorthand so I can write as fast as I think. My mind races fast and it is impossible to catch up in longhand and speech.

Putting on makeup, not to look good for others, but to fill up with beauty the blank canvas that is my face, to visually please myself.

Colored pencil drawing, because I want my fifth-grade art teacher who criticized my self-portrait to eat her heart out.

Playing guitar and writing songs because I need to release the soul in my heart from time to time.

2025 will be the flourishing plant that springs from the pot I have lovingly curated for myself.

2025 will be the year I finally live for myself.